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This story is about a guy I'll call Caleb. Caleb is not his real name, but the events that I am about to describe are true. He was a co-driver that I drove with back in the early days of my trucking career when I drove cross country team. Caleb is in part responsible for me being a liberal.
When I first met Caleb I put him at around 28 years old. I later found out that he was 40. He was an African-American with dark, clear skin and a shaved head. He was 6'4" and built like a linebacker. He was a very good looking guy, but I remember thinking that I better not make him mad because he could probably whip my ass in short order. But it turned out that Caleb was as nice as he was big and good looking. He had a great smile to go along with his other attributes and he was always quick to smile.
Caleb liked to joke around about race every so often and he would often make fun of his blackness and my whiteness. My name is Tobin and a lot of people call me Toby. Caleb had a lot of fun with that. If you've seen "Roots" then you will know what I'm talking about.
Caleb would tell me stories of his life when we rolled down the road as I imagine co-drivers across the country do every day. I have no idea how he kept his positive outlook because he had a really rough life to that point. He went into the marines just out of high school, but he had a problem with authority that would be his undoing. Problems with authority are bad news when you are in the military I guess. I don't remember exactly what happened, but it seems like Caleb got into a fight with an officer and put him in the hospital. Caleb did some time in jail and was dishonorably discharged. After he got out of jail/military he found himself in southern California and got a job as a tow truck driver. He did well at that for a while eventually buying his own truck and going into business for himself. Then he discovered crack cocaine at a party and it was pretty much down hill from there. The addiction put him out of business and he got on a bus to head for his home town of St. Louis and his parents.
I don't know how Caleb put the cocaine addiction behind him, but he did. But fate would have something just as bad in store for him. One night he was walking down a street near his home going down to the local corner store. Two kids, one armed with a gun, hopped out from behind some bushes. The kid with the gun shot Caleb four times. As he lay on the ground the kid walked up to Caleb and pointed the gun at his head. Caleb laid there begging for his life. He said that he thought the kid looked to be about 14 and this type of thing happened sometimes as a part of a gang initiation. For some reason the kid didn't kill Caleb and took off. Caleb evidently didn't think I believed him so he stripped down to his underwear and showed me the scars from the bullet wounds. None of his vital organs were hit, but one of the bullets came within 2 inches of castrating him.
I was about 24 at the time that I was driving with Caleb and I really didn't have any political affiliation. The only person I'd ever voted for was Ross Perot and that was just because my mom wanted me to. But I would listen to Rush Limbaugh on the radio sometimes. I wasn't really a ditto-head, but I thought that Rush made some good points sometimes. One day as we were going down the road I was listening to Rush and Caleb was riding shot gun and listening to. Rush was going off on one of his anti-affirmative action rants. Caleb looked over at me and asked me what I thought about that. I told him that I thought that Rush had a point and affirmative action was no longer needed.
Caleb said, "But don't you think that racism still exists?"
I said, "Yeah, I think it's out there, but things aren't as bad as they used to be. Now we've got this equal opportunity employment thing and equal opportunity lending in housing. I think affirmative action was a good idea at it's inception, but now I don't think it's needed anymore."
"But you still think racism exists."
"Yes."
"Alright, Toby."
I can be pretty dense sometimes and that was one of those moments. I was clearly missing Caleb's point.
One day not long after that conversation we were cruising down the road in western New York state enjoying the scenery and listening to the cb. I was driving and Caleb was in the passenger seat. Suddenly a couple of drivers started arguing on the cb. I forget over what. Probably some road rage kind of thing. Judging by the dialects of the drivers one of them was white and the other was black. The argument escalated and then the white driver called the black driver the n-word. I reached up and turned the cb off.
Caleb said, "That doesn't bother me, Toby. You can listen to the radio if you want to."
I said, "It bothers me, though."
"That's alright. I know who I am and what I'm about. That word can't hurt me."
I think it does hurt, though. I've heard more than a few drivers get really angry at being called the n-word. But I can't read minds and everybody is different.
The conversation on the radio got me thinking about the conversation that Caleb and I had about affirmative action. Suddenly Caleb's point from that conversation sank in and I felt like an ass.
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