Do women get tired of hearing men whine that...

[Maddy McCall]

Poll question: Do women get tired of hearing men whine that...

women don't wan't nice guys?

[Pale Blue Dot]

1. That's not what I whine about.

I whine about the fact that women who are interested in nice guys seem to be attracted to me, but I am not interested in them.

It's the curse of looking like Richie Cunningham. :grr:

[Maddy McCall]

2. So, Mary Anns like you, but you want Gingers.

:shrug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

3. No. Of the two, I'd pick Maryann.

But it's a crappy choice. Neither one of them were very smart.

[SarahB]

5. I had the hots for Ritchie Cunningham!

Seriously, there are women that exist that are quite Ginger-esque (with a dash of Mary-Ann sweetness) that do not prefer loud-mouthed Alpha male cretins.

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. SarahBelle, have your people talk to my people.

Let's do lunch. :-)

[SarahB]

14. Where are you?

Around Philly, right?

Not too terrible. :D

[leftofthedial]

4. women whine about being treated badly by a jerk

and then they choose the jerk every time

(or so the conventional wisdom states)

[progmom]

9. who are all these women choosing jerks?

:shrug:

I chose a wonderful man.

[leftofthedial]

12. good question

you, of course, are exceptional.

so maybe it's just most everybody else.

[Zuni]

6. Then why do so many of these women date vermin?

[Robeson]

13. Why do so many men date "vermin"?......

...we're all human. Whether man or woman, don't put people on a pedestal. Everyone has their faults, along with the good.

[jpgray]

16. Speaking as a dude, I've dated some vermin myself

Early on, especially, I found vermin very interesting. :dunce:

[Zuni]

17. confession time

I have dated some real obnoxious women in the past because I thought they were attractive, particularly when I was in my early 20s and playing in a band.

[jpgray]

20. Now you'll hear the DU cry of "hypocrates!"

Which I never fully understood. Is "Hypocrates" some lost dialogue of Plato?

:shrug:
:silly:

[Zuni]

22. They always are on me about taking that Hypocratic oath thing

I can't help if I swore to hold others to completely different standards thean I the ones I hold myself :P

[SarahB]

7. Yup!

It's bullshit. You know the kind of men I like and it doesn't even come close to ever liking anyone "not nice". Complex perhaps, but not nice? No F*cking way!

[WindRavenX]

8. I want nice guys

I don't want assholes.
Sorry, I don't buy the whole "women want bad asses" bullshit.

[progmom]

11. I see it a lot here on DU

And it perplexes me.
But maybe one of the posts above explains it. Men don't want women who want nice guys? :shrug:

[Zuni]

21. It is a common complaint among males

that many of the women they want or think would be a great mate are with a total scumbag, namely me, Zuni. I am the girlfriend theif, the SOB with the bad ass car and the cheap cologne....:P

[Droopy]

15. I understand where men that think that way are coming from

I know a man who treats women like shit, but he gets laid more than I do. But then again the women he is attracting don't tend to be great catches. They are physically attractive but tend to not have a whole lot going for them upstairs. I wouldn't want anything to do with a woman like that.

[Wapsie B]

18. From a guy's perspective,

I think some of it comes from seeing relationships in high school, college end horribly with the woman understandably upset. Some guys will then assume the ex-boyfriend was a jerk. Then they further extrapolate this thought into believing woman only date jerks.

[qnr]

23. Hmmm, well, speaking as a former casino security guard and bartender,

I can tell you that there is a lot more than extrapolation going on. You wouldn't believe the number of times I/we had to intervene in situations where some drunk culo was physically abusing someone. In many cases, these females were coworkers, and assured us that they understood the situation and were only going to get involved with someone that would treat them right.

Then, four days later, they're back with a new guy threatening to rearrange their face or take all their money -- or the original jerk.

[Wapsie B]

24. Oh yeah it happens, no doubt about it.

Maybe there's a power vibe some jerks can give off. There honestly are some who want the bad boys, the stallions to tame. But not all or even most of them.

[qnr]

26. You're absolutely correct. I think the reason it is so pervasive, is

1: The "If it bleeds, it leads" syndrome. It's the type of thing you remember, or that people you know talk about.
2: Just like the "such-and-such comes in threes" bit, where people will wait 18 months for a 3rd occurrence, and then say, "See?! They come in threes!" - People will overlook the good relationships of 119 of their friends and acquaintances, just to pounce on the 120th that fits their view.

Just my thoughts.

[BlueIris]

19. Any guy whining about that won't be finishing anywhere near me.

[JackDragna]

25. I'm a man, and I get tired of it.

All the "nice" guys I've ever met who said it was the reason they couldn't date usually had some other problem..being very overweight, asocial and unable to talk about anything other than Star Trek or some other similar topic, being generally unkempt and not dressing well or any number of other reasons. My general experience is any guy who doesn't seem like a complete psycho can get a date. It's not women's fault some men make themselves undatable by being hopeless losers.

[LostInAnomie]

27. Treat 'em rough, you'll get the muff.

Or so the saying goes.It may be a gross generalization but it seems to ring true for many of the women I know.

The reason could be that many of the nice guys who complain were infatuated in their youth by an attractive woman who was beyond their grasp. Since in our youth we tend to date people for superficial reasons the woman of their desire probably dated jerks who she either found attractive, were rich, dealt drugs, etc. These men who were dating the woman as a trophy probably had little respect for a woman they only dated for looks.

The nice guy who observed the woman of his desire being treated badly probably then rationalized it by thinking that she wanted to be treated badly, thereby softening the blow to their ego.

[Ladyhawk]

28. I've been looking all my life for a nice guy.

My last boyfriend used to complain that "nice guys finish last." I tried to explain to him that this is absolutely not true and that I appreciated him because he was nice.

So, what did this "nice guy" do? He started running around with someone else behind my back. I appreciate honesty and could have accepted this better had he told me it wasn't working out for him and he wanted to date other people. But no, he had to be devious.

Nice guys finish last? I don't think so. Lying, sneaky bastards finish last. :D I hope he paid a price for his lies, but you really can't expect justice from this world. The best you can do is try to get on with your life the best you can.