I Am Being Mean To Mrs Matcom And I Don't Love Her

[matcom]

or so she tells me cause i won't let her adopt a Greyhound. :D

discuss.

[StopTheMorans]

1. if you adopt the greyhound, maybe it can love her?

:shrug:

[matcom]

3. no

[StopTheMorans]

51. ok

[Misunderestimator]

2. Why Not?!?

are you evil or something?

[matcom]

4. yes

[Mrs.Matcom]

64. See what I have to put up with??

Should I have to put up with him?? Maybe I can trade him in for the Dog??

[Misunderestimator]

67. The dog would at least be agreeable.

:hi:

[1monster]

98. How does that old country song from my (extreme) youth go?

Our D I V O R C E becomes final today.
Me and little D O G will be going away....
:dilemma:

:popcorn:

[tavalon]

133. Only if the Dog

will regularly post weird ass news items here.

[progmom]

5. jackass

you should adopt a grehound. they are lovely.

is that what you wanted to hear? ;)

[matcom]

8. no.

[GOPisEvil]

6. I'll support whoever makes ME the best deal.

It truly is all about me.

[matcom]

9. you'll support ME asshole

:grr:

[GOPisEvil]

21. OK, see, that's not helping your cause.

:P

[matcom]

24. i fed you scrambled EGGS for dinner!

what more could a man WANT!! :D

[GOPisEvil]

28. Some pasta with those eggs.

Oh wait...

[Mrs.Matcom]

27. I Luv you!!

:loveya:

[matcom]

31. Tramp

[Mrs.Matcom]

40. I'm not talking to you!

GOP loves me for who I am inside, not as just another one of your trophy wives:grr:

[GOPisEvil]

34. Oh, I say get the bus already...

...you can make it into a nice RV.

Ohhhh...a dog...yeah, get one. I don't have to live with it, and if you're happy, all is well.

:loveya:

[Mrs.Matcom]

43. Yes you will

remember the beach house when Matcom kicks the bucket??? :*:

[GOPisEvil]

116. Yes!!!!

The beach house! Ahhhhhh. Sounds so relaxing.

:*

[Phentex]

7. Why does she need your permission?

?

[matcom]

10. because she is submissive to me

:hide:

[Mrs.Matcom]

18. You better hide you twit!!! n/t

[LynneSin]

113. Matcom, we know better

we know who rules in the Matcom household and it isn't you!

But we adore you anyways

[tavalon]

134. Yep

I hope she lets him post pictures of the new doggy. By next week. ;)

[DistressedAmerican]

11. She's Absilutely Right! Give That Woman A Greyhound And

consider yourself lucky you're not buying her a Kobe sized diamond ring for the babysitter incident!

[matcom]

15. no.

she likes watching the babysitter video :D

[DistressedAmerican]

19. Link?

[Mrs.Matcom]

50. Link

http://www.greyhound.org
go to the available greyhounds then look at Baby and Cat...Either one would be fine with me!!

[matcom]

52. ummmm honey?

he was talking about a link to the babysitter video :eyes:

[Mrs.Matcom]

68. Oh...

:blush:

[DistressedAmerican]

123. I'll Settle For Greyhounds! They Are Damn Cute!

"BRING ME HOME MATCOM!"

[blue neen]

89. I vote for Baby. She has such a sweet face.

How could Matcom resist?

[Hand]

139. Get them both! nt

[SmokingJacket]

12. Do you really have space to park it? nt

[matcom]

22. yes

large driveway :D

[tk2kewl]

13. they eat these for breakfast

[Mrs.Matcom]

He is EVIL

He is making me :cry:!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

17. So just go get one and don't tell him

[Mrs.Matcom]

23. Can't

you have to bring your spouse with you when you go to pick one out. That way they don't have to worry about getting it back in a week. :cry:

[Phentex]

26. so take a friend

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

32. So have sniffa pose as your spouse :)

[matcom]

36. keep it up toots

i'll steal your wife BEFORE she hits 30,000 posts :P

[progmom]

38. how about just replacing Matcom with sniffa entirely?

:shrug:

[matcom]

39. she doesn't like her feet licked

[Phentex]

46. but the greyhound could take care of that

:)

[jswordy]

48. That'll prolly work, so keep it up! Oh yeah, and threaten to...

...not do him any favors for -- oh, I don't know -- maybe a year or two! I mean NO favors of ANY kind, including any cooking or household help, as it may apply.

I that doesn't do it, then implement that strategy above, and tell him you want separate bedrooms.

If that won't convince him, first file for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty, then go out and have a tawdry affair with the best-looking of his close friends. This last move always seems to get attention. In court, you can claim his mental cruelty (for which you have already filed for divorce) caused the affair, when you found solace and protection with his friend while awaiting the hearing. If you can stand the pain, strike yourself on the legs and arms with an iron pipe before trial, and when asked about the bruises, say vaguely, "I fell down...I guess. Or maybe I was struck?"

This will extract the largest financial gain for yourself, while not technically being perjury. ;)

Then you can get the house, at least one car, and alimony. Then you adopt your dog.

Best of luck with your new greyhound!

[Mrs.Matcom]

54. Hmmm...

Might work!!! Except his friends are all women...I could do that! ;-)

[jswordy]

59. I never said it had to be a man! If it's a woman, just...

...take pix for me, please!!!

:rofl:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. I love her but I had one once

stupidest dog I ever met

[Cerridwen]

16. Why don't you want a greyhound? They're easy pets. I'm being

curious.

:hi:

[matcom]

20. easy

1 Pug
2 Cats
Fish

[Cerridwen]

65. Got it. Of course, you'll barely notice a greyhound in that

menagerie.

:evilgrin:

[Mrs.Matcom]

72. That is what i told him! n/t

[Cerridwen]

86. In all seriousness, if it's a rescue, make sure it's good with cats

and small dogs.

My boyfriend has 2 rescues and fosters them from time to time. He did get one foster that started to show signs of thinking of small dogs as snacks.

Since one of my 2 dogs is a small terrier and his business is a kennel-free canine day care and boarding, this was an issue and he had to return the foster sooner than he would have otherwise.

Usually, the rescuers have knowledge of any issues the dogs may have so you'll be okay just letting them know the pets you already have.

Good luck either way; whether you adopt/rescue or not.

:hi:

[MadHound]

99. Oh please matcom, you are nowhere near fully stocked with pets

I've got four dogs and three cats. One more dog is nothing, absolutely nothing. Besides, it will keep the pug company when you two are gone. It will make Mrs. Matcom happy, and you know you want Mrs. Matcom happy. And besides, a greyhound will make a much better watchdog, for it has a bark that has to be taken seriously, whereas a pug has a little dog wimpy yappy bark.

Get the greyhound already, OK.

[Marnieworld]

119. OMG!

You're puggy needs a friend. Dogs need other dogs. Greyhounds are some of the most desperate for homes. I know someone with several rescue pups and they are the sweetest.

I have a pug and a chihuahua and they are the best of buddies. Submit Matcom. Get the dog and then just rub your resentment of it in her face whenever you fight. Cash in the favor at a later date. There's gotta be something you want in return no?

P.S. I think I still have the pic of your pug pee-ing standing up somewhere on my hard drive. Cute doggie.

[sui generis]

25. Mrs. Matcom is feeling neglected

but so is that greyhound. However, greyhounds are cheaper than babies.

I know how this works (tell Mrs. Matcom to look away):

First pretend like you don't want the greyhound. Then grudgingly get Mrs. Matcom to sign an I.O.U. that she must exclusively take care of the dog, walks, vet bills, attention, play time, etc., grudgingly I tell you. Put your copy in a safe place and grab some popcorn.

:popcorn:

[matcom]

29. yeah, that worked out SOOOOOO well with the Pug

:eyes:

[Mrs.Matcom]

35. snort

that is actually pretty funny!!! I do that now with the pug!

[TlalocW]

30. If you really loved her...

You'd get her some ferrets.

TlalocW

[matcom]

33. i'm starting to hate you

[TlalocW]

44. Only because you know I'm right

TlalocW

[SarahB]

37. You guys can adopt me instead.

I don't eat much and I'm housebroken. :P

[matcom]

42. now THAT is a thought!

i'll groom ya too! :think:

[Mrs.Matcom]

55. And I will

Neuter you!!!!

[SarahB]

57. Not you!

She's the one who wants another pet!

Actually, I tend to think couples should agree 100% before getting a another pet, so if you're not up for it, I'd hesitate to say that you should get the greyhound, BUT I don't want all the ladies to get pissed at me for siding with you. ;)

[Mrs.Matcom]

74. I could never

be pissed at you...:hi:

[SarahB]

127. Awww!!!

:loveya:

[stellanoir]

41. I vote for the greyhound & the Mrs.

woof

[matcom]

45. vote all you like

i've hired Diebold to handle the counting

[stellanoir]

61. LOL go ahead

I'd trust the posters here ability to count far beyond Diebold.

And I've got TIA in my corner to verify the stats so beware. He's relentless.

:hi:

[hyphenate]

47. Is it one of the rescues from the Connecticut track?

There were over 500 dogs they managed to rescue from there. Most of them will definitely need good homes.

Greyhounds are couch potatoes, believe it or not. They don't mind going walking on a lease, and they're relatively low maintenance. And if they're from the rescue groups, know that they are all in dire need of some loving families.

The greyhound would also submit to the first dog in the household. They're not leaders in my experience, but followers. AND most important, they get along beautifully with cats. :)

Sorry, Matt, put me into Mrs. Matcom's column. :D

[matcom]

49. pppppphhhhhhtttttttttttttt

away with you

[hyphenate]

97. lol eom

[Mrs.Matcom]

62. Yeah!

Thank you Hyphenate! I don't think these girls are from Conn, but they are in Mass so you never know.

[hyphenate]

94. Several of the Mass groups joined in on the rescue

It was a huge undertaking.

[supernova]

53. Go Greyhound

Hey somebody had to say it! :P

[JRob]

56. Who walks it, washes it, picks up the shit in the yard etc.

It seems that every dog we've gotten ultimately becomes my responsibility... at least the distasteful parts and so I feel that I have the veto.

[matcom]

60. me, me, me, me, me, me

and i thank you for your vote :D

[Mrs.Matcom]

66. Hey!

You only pick up the pooh and occationally take him for a drag! I wash him, take him to the vet, and pay those bills and he is on me from the moment I walk in the house until we go to bed. so phoey on you!

[Marnieworld]

120. Aren't pugs the best?

I have a 3 year old boy who is so in love with me he is always near me if he can be. The snoring is so cute too.

[JRob]

91. Then NO, NO, NO I say!

[matcom]

93. your vote now counts as 10

thank you.

[WilliamPitt]

58. The greyhound will hump that ugly dog of yours

but will wind up humping its face because its face looks like its ass.

Discuss.

[matcom]

63. SNARF!

:rofl:

i agree

[Maat]

76. I nominate this for the funniest thread I've read in a long time.

By the way, this spouse/mommy is the one who winds up taking care of all the pets in the household.

(the rat sisters - who have to have separate cages because they each have 'personal space' issues - and the three cats)

I always wind up letting Hubby and Beloved Daughter get a new pet, which I end up caring for - it is just the way it is.

[Mrs.Matcom]

82. Me too!

He just thinks he does all the work. you know how 'daddys' can be. :eyes:

[Maat]

124. Yes, I DO! (n/t)

[1monster]

108. Same here! Nine cats and a dog...

I love cats, but I've told my husband, "One more cat and I'm gone!"

[stellanoir]

69. ewwwww !!!!!

really gross visual

[matcom]

70. no. HERE is the visual!

[WilliamPitt]

100. See what I mean?

[Marnieworld]

122. How can you look at that sweet face and say it's ugly?

What sort of monster are you? ;-)

[WilliamPitt]

126. Like this

Ugly. Ass. Dog.

:)

[Marnieworld]

136. Well alright then

I wish you a thousand wet, sloppy kisses from a pack of pugs. They would love you into submission and worship I guarantee. ;-)

[hyphenate]

103. Frank!

I don't think the greyhound has much to worry about with the pug. :D

[Maat]

125. Oh, he (or she) is precious (n/t)!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

81. Excuse me, Will for jumping in and thread-jacking....

Did you like the pic? I heard you finally got it...

[WilliamPitt]

101. It's great

:)

Thanks.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

105. You are so very welcome, my dear Will!

I'm so glad you FINALLY got to see it! Am I still in trouble? lol

[WilliamPitt]

106. Oh yes

Yes indeed.

;)

[Marnieworld]

121. Take that back!

Puggies are beautiful! Beautiful I tells ya!

[kick-ass-bob]

71. Don't DO IT!! They are big, stinky, and cost a lot of money!

Plus, those bathrooms in the back HAVE to be completely disgusting! Who's gonna clean the bathroom?!!?!?!?!!?!?1/?1

[matcom]

73. thank you finally for a REASONABLE response

:7

[Midlodemocrat]

83. Greyhounds are wonderful pets.....but

you have to really careful around cats/small dogs with one and they are prone to some really serious kidney ailments. A friend of mine had to put her Greyhound down after about 1 year. Pretty sad.

Anywho....just my $.02

[matcom]

85. YYYYAAAYYYYY

the mods have spoken :D

now ban her :bounce:

[Midlodemocrat]

117. Maybe I should ban you instead.

:evilgrin:

[Mrs.Matcom]

87. ROFLMAO! n/t

[Squeech]

75. Hey Matcom!

You should get the greyhound. Easily an improvement over Remy. (Except that Slice will have to think harder to come up with amusing photoshop gags.)

Greyhounds are affectionate and submissive-- think White House press corps, other than GannonGuckert of course, as he's a top.

[matcom]

77. your not helping Michael

:grr:






















:D

[Mrs.Matcom]

78. yes he is

Big :*: to Michael!!!

[matcom]

80. your easy

[Mrs.Matcom]

84. That is not

What you said the other night....:P

[UrbScotty]

79. Just divorce the animal-loving liberal, already!

}(

[liberalitch]

88. Me mum adopted one.....

it was the best decision she ever made she said....

[matcom]

90. she lied to you

[liberalitch]

130. Na-uh.... shamus is a good baby

[sniffa]

92. normaLLy i'd side with matcom

but today, he didn't have either of the 2 whacky stories i saw in today's metro.

[matcom]

95. i don't look at the metro

:cry:

[sniffa]

102. ahhh - i gotta grab another copy on the way home

i spiLLed coffee on my copy. (doh!)

- boston teens are wearing fake buLLet proof vests; it's aLL the rage!
you can buy them at 'hip zepi' for $89.
chuck turner has been showing up on tv to denounce the man for catering to gang vioLence, etc, etc.

- the 'fruits & veggies' gang. named so, for their association with produce suppLiers, markets. they're based out of west roxbury.

[Mrs.Matcom]

104. And you

Want to go with me to adopt the doggy, right??? :hi:

[sniffa]

107. onLy if it's gonna perform

win, pLace or show at LincoLn park

[Mrs.Matcom]

111. Bad Sniffa!

now go sit in time out!!

[stellanoir]

96. well upon some reflection

I can't believe i'm actually thinking about this. . .

It'll provide lots more for Pitt to eat at your BBQ at least.

But seriously, all the owners of greyhounds I've known have adored them. And beside the Mrs.can always drive south with the pooch to chase rabbits and eat blueberries in my surrounding fields.

[Squeech]

114. No

There's hardly any flesh on a greyhound!

Because their metabolism is so tweaked, they tend to wear out comparatively young. Median lifespan is maybe eight years.

Of course, from Matcom's point of view, this is a plus.

[stellanoir]

129. Yeah but remember were comparing this to the

mass body index of a pug. . .then again it might be a draw.

[BikeWriter]

109. I once told an ex no about a dog. She bought it anyway.

[LynneSin]

110. Matcom, we love you and you'd be a lost soul if Mrs. Matcom...

...did love you anymore.

:D

[Mrs.Matcom]

112. thank you

and just imagine how much worse he would be on DU??? Run away, Run away!!

[LynneSin]

115. Sweetie, he wouldn't be on DU....

...he'd be in the corner somewhere rolled into the fetal position and whimpering!

[hlthe2b]

118. NEVER stand between a woman and her dog (s) or cat(s)

You'll lose (one way or another) every time, dear....

[B3Nut]

128. Aww, let her have the dawg.

Greyhounds are mellow around the house, and mainly lay around looking important. Just make sure you have a fenced yard, if they take off it's a royal pain trying to catch up! :D

They make great pets and you'll be saving a dog's life. Just don't let them eat right before or after excercise, they are rather prone to bloat (gastric dilatation and vulvulus). I'm married to a vet assistant, so I hear about all these lovely canine and feline ailments... ;)

Todd in Beerbratistan

RIP Obie 8-25-92 - 12-04-03

[MissB]

131. So do you two have a new dog yet?

It has been a few hours.

[matcom]

132. nope

:)

[Dave Reynolds]

135. Better a Greyhound than what *I* got talked into...

and then later



Take the doggie, man!

[matcom]

137. GODDAMMIT!!

do NOT give her any ideas! x(

[Hand]

138. Mrs. Matcom is entirely correct...

You swine. Take that!

[matcom]

140. your not getting a birthday present from ME

x(

[Hand]

141. Maybe Mrs. Matcom would settle for a bunny...

[yvr girl]

142. I only want YOU as my pet

Isn't it about time you spent a week in Vancouver?

[underpants]

143. Satan's Little Helper?