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candy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:11 PM
Original message
Would you approach a pregnant woman who was smoking and tell her she
should not be smoking?

This was a discussion on a radio show this AM.The host said he would tell her to stop because of the health of the unborn child.

I wouldn't say a word because frankly it is none of my business.

What would you all do?
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. I tell her my mom smoked and drank while she was pregnant with me
Then I'll bang my head against the wall or lightpole.
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sinkingfeeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
2. I tend to mind my own business. I also was not elected to be a
health-Nazi.
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truebrit71 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:13 PM
Original message
If she was a stranger I wouldn't say anything...
..if she was a friend, or someone I knew I would..."Does your doctor know you smoke?"....some little nudge like that...

Funny thing is my wife smoked until she found out she was preggers...she quit instantly....as soon as she was done nursing she started up again....silly woman...
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ronnykmarshall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
35. My mom quit when she was pregg w/ both of us.
We turned out gay.


Think about it.


Well I think my brother was gay. I guess I shouldn't be make comments about someone sexuality. But I when I caught him performing ....... ya know I kinda put two and two together. But I COULD be wrong, ya know.

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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 06:20 PM
Response to Reply #35
52. You caught him performing?
Is he an actor?

:D

RL
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MemphisTiger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
37. Good point
If I know them, I might bring it up in an eloquent way
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Tyrone Slothrop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
47. My dad quit on the day that he found out my mom was pregnant
with my older brother.

With the exception of the odd cigar here and there, he's been smoke-free for over 30 years now.

Good dad...
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
3. Keep my mouth shut....
I don't want anyone telling me how to raise my own children, and I wouldn't offer any unsolicited suggestions about child-raising to anyone else.

I can still call her a mindless, self-absorbed shitface under my breath, however.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
4. I would mind my own business
Not say a word.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
5. Wouldn't say a word.
Only Fundie Freepers, IMO, go around telling other folks how to live their lives.

If she were to ask, however, I'd be more than happy to point her in the direction of some informed literature.

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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:14 PM
Response to Original message
6. I think I would have to say something.
It's possible, maybe, that she doesn't know. I wouldn't tell her she had to stop, but I would mention the risks.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #6
25. Sometimes,
Drs tell women that they should continue smoking.
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #25
31. I think I know what you're getting at.
Unless I'm denser than I thought, which is possible too.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Sorry I went into
more detail further down. Which might help you see where I was going? heh
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:14 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'd send Mellisa over to give her a good talking to....
Edited on Wed Jun-08-05 02:24 PM by Richardo
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:16 PM
Response to Original message
8. No words. Frown. Look at cigarette and belly, alternately.
They usually get it.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
9. Not smoking, but I was on the receiving end of that
when I was pregnant. I was eating out and had a beer with my meal; a fellow patron came up to me and said that I shouldn't be drinking in my condition. I replied that his concerns were misplaced and he was not as well informed about drinking and pregnancy as he thought (and it's true - the warnings against ever having a drink while pregnant are based on a preventative model of treatment; the idea is that if you let a woman have one drink, she'll think it's OK to have several, and before you know it, you have a pregnant woman drinking every day which in fact *may* be an actual danger). He huffed away, and our meal stayed serene.
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jswordy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. Heheheh...you shoulda just told him....
"Asshole, I'm NOT pregnant. I'm just FAT! Now go away."
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. HA!!
Next time, I will keep that in my verbal arsenal... "Pregnant!" then I'll let out a little sob. "Oh, if only I *were*!" and then another little sob, a sigh, then a resigned look...
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. Dave Barry: "You should never say anything...
Edited on Wed Jun-08-05 02:23 PM by Richardo
...to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."
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jswordy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #17
24. Heheheheheh ... YEAH GIRL! That would rock!
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candy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #9
16. I probably would have thrown the beer in his face---I admire your
patience and understanding.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. For some reason,
I was pretty serene when pregnant. Those damn hormones...
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
10. A total stranger?
Hell fuck no. Ever pissed off a pregnant woman?
:scared:
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jswordy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
11. I'd say that is rude as hell. But then, people ARE rude as hell anymore.
Few folks seem to be able to mind their own frickin' bizniz. Everyone seems so intent on MAKING other do their bidding, or getting them to comform to their world views. It seems to matter little whether their nasty remarks actually could sway someone else to change...they go ahead and stick their elongated probiscuses into everyone else's bizniz anyway. Let the chips fall where they may.

It is truly a strange time, when liberals who condemn Republican attempts to intrude into personal privacy are yet again more than willing to intrude themselves into other people's choices. A fascinating time to observe, but very strange.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
12. No, I would not.
That would be to assume she does not know the risks of smoking. I assume smokers DO know the risks and are willing to take them.
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
14. Better to offer solutions than screeds
Pregnant women usually have very little in the way of smoking-cessation support. And consider that smoking is a way to calm oneself down -- pregnancy is usually stressful, so without some strong support, a lot of pregnant women will not be able to stop. But there is a way to help without becoming a pest, and it will also go a long way in terms of activism.

If you run into a lot of pregnant women smoking, look for a support group for smoking cessation, carry some cards around with the contact details, and give them out. This won't turn you into a health Nazi -- and most pregnant women will thank you for the concern.

The American Red Cross is the first place I would call about getting in touch with smoking cessation groups for pregnant women.

However you choose to deal with it (and I urge you not to be a pest or a "health Nazi"), good luck.

--p!
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #14
26. Wise words. Thanks.
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Momgonepostal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
15. Totally none of my business
Unless I were her health care provider, I would butt out.
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:21 PM
Response to Original message
19. Nope.
She already knows. She doesn't need some self-righteous stranger harassing her.
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
21. No, I wouldn't
Considering all the other messed up chemicals going into our system every day, it would be impossible to keep them all out.
It's not up to me to make sure the woman is 100% chemical free.
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ernstbass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
22. NOt my business
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
23. Not my business--
besides smoking may be the least of that baby's worries. If that mother cannot take responsibility while she is pregnant I could only imagine what type of life that baby may have. I know I am severly judging that woman but it's just my opinion that the mother may end up doing more harm to that baby besides just smoking.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
27. Nope. That is ridiculous.
Pregnant women and new mothers are on the receiving end of way too much unsolicited advice!
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Bok_Tukalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
28. I'ld bum a smoke
<ope>
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
29. Only if she were a friend. Otherwise, HELL NO.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
30. I'd do nothing.
A couple of my friends were told to cut back as much as possible but still continue smoking by their Dr's. Sometimes the stress of quitting is considered worse for the baby than the smoking itself. Not to mention the fact that it'd be none of my damn business.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
33. Nope. Either
she already knows and she's in the grips of an addiction or she doesn't care. I can't imagine a teenaged or adult woman in North America who hasn't heard repeatedly the warnings regarding smoking and fetal health.
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
34. Oh, please. Does anyone over the age of 6 NOT know
about the dangers of smoking? If nothing else, they hear about it in school. That's like approaching a fat person and asking them if they know they are fat. No shit, Sherlock.
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MemphisTiger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:37 PM
Response to Original message
36. I would keep my mouth shut
It might be the only cig she's had since she's been pregnate. One won't hurt the baby.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
38. Definitely not, because it's none of my damn business
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:43 PM
Response to Original message
39. I'd say something. It's no different than someone beating their child IMO
If you're having the baby, you need to treat it as such and realize that your actions directly impact its health.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. "It's no different than someone beating their child"
Uhm, ok, maybe you need to leave the health judgments up to the womans Dr, and get some perspective about smoking.
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. I'm an ex smoker, I know all about its effects.
And I'll be as judgemental as I want when it comes to one human being abusing another.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. Yeah, well
Dr.s tell their patients not to quit smoking in some cases. And I don't think that you'd be doing ANY good. If the Dr. Recommended that she quit smoking and she didn't, anything YOU, some random stranger say to her, is not going to make ANY difference.
And comparing smoking to beating a child is inflammatory and over the top.
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #43
46. Ok then, I'll compare it to poisoning a child.
It's probably a better comparison anyway. Smoking when pregnant, or smoking around small children, is no different than sprinking arsenic in their Koolaid every day.

Better?
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:13 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. Yes, actually,
it is a better comparison. But I still maintain that approaching a woman you know nothing about and potentially making her feel even worse about herself, without any prior knowledge of her situation, or any requests for your help, is just rude. It's assumptive and rude.
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MemphisTiger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #39
41. I think it depends on how you say it if you say something
Also, do you really think you're going to change someone's mind that is smoking while pregnant? I don't think there will be an epiphany.
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #41
45. I'd be nice about it.
There's no need to come off as a scold, but as an educator I've dedicated myself to opening peoples minds. Some even tell me I'm good at it.

The effects of tobacco use by a pregnant female are well known, and all negative. To stand by and allow a woman to condemn her child to lower birthweight, malformed brains due to oxygen depletion, and respiratory issues simply because she couldn't kick the habit is no different, in my book, than standing by and watching someone beat their child over the head.

Of course, I also advocate CPS seizing the children of people who smoke around their children, so my opinions should be read in that perspective. I smoked for 15 years before health problems finally forced me to quit. The only thing I despise more than tobacco companies are people who KNOW their evil ways and the damage that smoking causes, yet still refuse to kick their addictions. The only people I despise MORE than THEM are smokers who willingly inflict that damage on innocent bystanders or children who did NOT voluntarily make that choice.
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candy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #39
49. Baloney! Many baby boomers had mothers who smoked--------
It was very common then-----what harm did it do?The boomers are considered the healthiest generation in history.

Most of the scare tactics are hogwash.
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kanrok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
44. Punch her in the stomach?
JUST KIDDING.
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El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 06:15 PM
Response to Original message
50. Only if I were a self-important asshole
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-08-05 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
51. God, if I had an Empathy Belly and a pack of smokes...
... I would have the makings of a fun Saturday afternoon!

:evilgrin:

I smoke when I'm REALLY pissed or drunk. I smoke maybe a pack a year (literally). I just never took to it. But one day, when I'd had the worst day of my life, and on top of it all, I was locked out of my car at the freaking mall, I lit up while waiting for my partner to come fifteen miles through Atlanta rush-hour traffic and get me out of there. Almost immediately, this woman walked up to me and said, "You know, that's going to kill you,"

I took a long, healthy drag on my cigarete, breathed it right into her face and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Wow. I have never heard that before. Seriously. You've saved my life, lady. Thank-you,"

She made a nasty face and split.
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