"So. What makes you think you have what it takes to be a cook at Eatzi's?"

[RandomKoolzip]

I was just asked this question at a job interview this morning.

The need for Lexapro at this moment is overwhelming.

[Blue-Jay]

1. That is a soul-destroyer.

"EATZI'S. JOIN THE Eatzi's team! Now hiring for our new market in Chicago. Eatzi's is an innovative retail concept--not a supermarket annd not a restaurant--rather something right in between. We seek players who have at least two years experience working in a high volume restaurant, hospitality or retail environment--plus a passion for providing world class service--come join in the fun. We seek: retail bakery/ pastry case, sandwich/ salad makers, cashiers and baristas, line/ prep cooks, retail deli and chef's case, catering sales and drivers, inventory/ receiving, stewards/ dishwashers, bakery/ pastry cooks. In person interviews Monday-Friday, 9am-4pm at Century Shopping Centre, 2828 N Clark Street, Suite 305, Chicago, IL. There's more good news. Eatzi's players may receive a package of competitive pay and benefits including paid time off, insurance and tuition assistance."

[RandomKoolzip]

2. Sounds inviting, doesn't it?

I don't know if I "have what it takes" to be a line cook there, i.e. the ability to deal with the fact that life is a bleak meaningless hole.

The ultimate irony is that I don't think I'll actually get the job, since my baking experience is mostly specialty stuff and they're looking for a production kinda guy.

What kind of gun do you recommend for the cleanest, quickest possible shot to the right temple?

[asthmaticeog]

3. I HATE those bullshit questions.

That vague, meaningless shit they throw at you just to see how you react, as though your ability to sail through a phony-ass pseudo-psychological grilling from a bonehead HR smegwipe with no actual knowledge of psych has any bearing on your ability to bake.

[RandomKoolzip]

4. "Smegwipe?"

Yeah, I know. I almost wanted to say "Dude, the whole intimdation crap doesn't work with me. Just look at my resume and tell me if I have a job or not, you fucking nut-gargling spunksponge."

[hfojvt]

7. and they say there are no stupid questions. n/t

[crispini]

5. The games you have to play to get hired.

:eyes:

Eatzi's, though.... total YUM. I wish the one in my town was closer to me. Their food is deeeelish.

[RandomKoolzip]

6. The food service industry is decadent and depraved.

[patcox2]

8. "players?" They don't have employees, they have "players?"

Cut me a fucking break. Something tells me you wouldn't want to work there. Did you see "Office Space?" I wonder of the "players" wear "flair?"

[RandomKoolzip]

9. Yeah. "Players."

Say what you will about Applebee's or Chili's, at least they don't give their cooks pretentious, ill-fitting job titles.

I wanted to apply for a job; I didn't think I was "trying out for the team."

[StopTheMorans]

10. well, are you a player, or aren't you?

it's time to separate the players from the non-players :crazy:

[asthmaticeog]

12. No shit, man! Is RKZ some kinda playa-hata?

[StopTheMorans]

13. maybe he doesn't hate the playas; he just hates the game?

:shrug:

[Tyrone Slothrop]

11. I was once asked at an interview

to "Give me ten words that make a picture of Tyrone."

It was for an $11/hour butcher's position in Manhattan.

I drew a blank after word #7. That was almost the end of my adventure in NYC -- and on this planet.

Such a low moment...

[Blue-Jay]

15. heh

1. Don't
2. Ask
3. Me
4. Such
5. Stupid
6. Fucking
7. Questions
8. You
9. Moronic
10. Jizzmop

[Zuni]

14. ...