I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

[AngryAmish]

Your Senior Drill Instructor.

From now you will speak only when spoken to.

And your first and last words out of your filthy sewer will be sir, do you maggots understand that?

[noahmijo]

1. ::weakly:: sir yes sir

[AngryAmish]

5. You had better square youe ass away

And start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

2. Byte me.

[AngryAmish]

38. You slimy scumbag

Get on your face and give me 25.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

42. Why so you can hump me?

[Redstone]

3. Uh, uh.

Gunny or Drill Sergeant, but not "sir."

At least back in the old days.

Redstone

[noahmijo]

4. BULLSHIT I CAN'T HEAR YOU SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR!!!

[AngryAmish]

8. I'm gonna rip your balls off...

so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.

[alittlelark]

6. I take the 5th.

[HEyHEY]

7. Swear to the man... I WISH I was a gym teacher

That whole speech would be the first day. A joke only I would get.

[noahmijo]

9. I will take this moment to say that although Lee Ermey is more than likely

a con, at least the man did his time and I gotta respect him for that he has earned the right to whatever opinions I may heartily disagree with unlike so many of those on the right wing side.

[AngryAmish]

10. Bullshit

I looks to me the best part of you ran down the crack of your Momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. It looks like you've been cheated.

edited for more swearing

[noahmijo]

11. "I do not look down on niggers, kikes whops or greasers..

Here you are all equally worthless!"

[I Have A Dream]

59. Now that is the best put down that I've EVER heard!

I HAVE to remember this one! (...brown stain on the mattress...)

:rofl:

[DS1]

12. Sir! I am the best shot in the platoon, and I'm giving off tendencies

of suicidal bullshit. What do I do? Instructor who's title is "Senior Drill Instructor Gunnery Sergeant", and all that crap.

What, you gonna torture me? Lemmie tell you about this one guy, he was really cool, he got his knob polished by his abvisors, and I can't blame him for it. Meanwhile, I've got a picture of me and then President Clinton that less than 20 people can call their own.

[AngryAmish]

13. Are you sure Private Pyle?

[DS1]

17. Wellll golly!

I never watched that show

[Skittles]

14. JAYSUS CHRIST I THIK THE BOY'S GOT A HARD ON

:D

[WilliamPitt]

15. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate

the rest of the world.

[AngryAmish]

16. See #8 above

Well, you little maggot. You make me wanna vomit.

[WilliamPitt]

20. I will motivate you, AngryAmish

if it short-dicks every cannibal in the congo.

[DS1]

19. Choke yourself

No! Not me! Choke yourself on my hand!

oh man, such memories! :toast:

[WilliamPitt]

21. Private Joker, he's silly and he's ignorant,

but he's got guts, and guts is enough.

[AngryAmish]

26. Hell, I like you

You can come to my house and fuck my sister.

[WilliamPitt]

27. You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers.

I will teach you.

[AngryAmish]

22. I bet you are the kinda guy to fuck a person in the ass and...

not have the gaddam common curtesty to give him a reach around.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

24. Byte me.

[WilliamPitt]

25. God loves the Marine Corps because we kill everything we see.

We keep Heaven stocked with fresh souls. He plays His games, we play ours.

[Floogeldy]

18. My name is Gunnery Sergeant Highway!

I've drank more beer, pissed more blood, and banged more quiff than all you numb-nuts put together.

Be advised, I'm mean nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I could put a round through a fleas ass at 300 yards. So why don't you hump somebody else's leg mutt-face before I push yours in.

Why don't I bend you over the table there... send you home with the "I just pumped the neighbor's cat" look on your face.

Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning. And if I was a half as ugly as you, Sergeant Major, I'd be a poster boy for a prophylactic.

B-)

[WilliamPitt]

23. Swede! Swede! Swede! Swede!

[Floogeldy]

28. Negative, Johanson

I'm going to make a Marine out of you.

Now, fall in.

B-)

[WilliamPitt]

30. We're not 0-1-1 anymore.

[Floogeldy]

32. Heh heh!

:thumbsup:

[sasquatch]

29. "I got some ARVN rifles to trade you, they've never been fired and-

only dropped once."

[WilliamPitt]

31. Too buku. Too buku.

[AngryAmish]

33. So, can anyone guess what movie I watched tonite?

I know I should have gone to the CSO, but..............

[WilliamPitt]

34. They're paying for it, you eat it.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

35. Full Metal Jacket?

Bite me.

[sasquatch]

36. "I got a joke for you, I'm gonna tear you a new asshole!"

[AngryAmish]

37. You had better unfuck yourself

Or I will unscrew your neck and shit down your neck!

[orleans]

39. damn! were you the recruiter at my kid's school?

(they probably talk like that to the kids in the lunchroom when no one else is listening)

[AngryAmish]

40. Did your parents have any children that lived?

Fuckface

[orleans]

43. fine. very funny.

just don't call me "emo"

[driver8]

41. "You've got "Born to Kill" on your helmet and a peace symbol on

your jacket...what is that? Some kind of sick joke?"

So many great quotes from this movie.

[roguevalley]

44. ***WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION!!?!?!***

[rppper]

45. "pyle...you had better start shitting me........."

".......tiffany cuff-links, or i will definatly FUCK YOU UUUUPPPP!!!!"

or.....

"from now on you're private snowball...do you like that name???"
"sir, yes sir..."
"i'll bet there's one thing you don't like...the fact they dont serve watermellon and fried chicken on a daily basis in my mess hall....."
"sir, yes sir..."
"beat it scum-bag...."

or.......

"you're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece...."

or...(my all time favorite line).....


"hiiiiii....joooooo-kerrrrrrr.....hmmmnnnnnnnnn....."


FMJ is one of my favorite all time movies...i can quote the first hour of it to a tee from memory....i am OCD about it.....

[Canadian Socialist]

46. Uh, sir

I thought you worked for a living.

I've never called an NCO sir.

If I was answering to you it would be

Yes, Gunnery Sargent, Yes.
or better yet,

Gunnery Sargent!

no salute necessary. But that only maybe the Canadian army.

(Note: no sir involved.)

Only Commissioned Officers are called "sir", Gunnery Sargent.

[bridgit]

47. "Who said that? Who the fuck said that?...

"Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk."

[NMMNG]

48. Sir, I am a scummy atheist dyke, sir

Now kick me out so I can resume a normal life :rofl:

[Canadian Socialist]

49. We call them Sargent Majors

up here.

a joke: what is the most frightening thing in the world?

An officer with a map.

My dad (retired Colonel in the Black Watch) says that's not true, it's an officer with a map, who thinks he knows how to read it.

[bridgit]

50. aye, the black watch...

http://www.theblackwatch.co.uk

[Canadian Socialist]

53. Not that bunch of weak wristed pansy waisted

snot rags! The real Black Watch! The Royal Highland Regiment of Canada is the real Black Watch! heee.

[bridgit]

54. i'm born of a long line of scottish witches...

if it's not scottish it's CRAP!! :hi:

[evlbstrd]

51. Fuck you, Gunny!

I did my time and yu have no more authority over me!

[Bunny]

52. Unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit!

[Joey Liberal]

58. I love that one........

R. Lee Ermy is funny. Must have been a real prick as a DI though. Probably a fucking wimp one on one, like most Marines.

[DinahMoeHum]

55. "YOU" ??? A ewe is a female sheep. Do I look like a female sheep

Private???


:evilgrin:

[name not needed]

56. You climb obstacles like old people fuck!

[Joey Liberal]

57. As our Drill Sergeant was fond of telling our platoon....

YOU GOT A PROBLEM? GO SEE THE CHAPLAIN, BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

[jandrok]

60. HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!!!!!!!!!

Full Metal Jacket is a pretty interesting movie.

[da_chimperor]

61. "Are you a peter puffer?"

:P

Oh, and in case anyone is interested . . .
http://www.gotwavs.com/Movies/Full_Metal_Jacket.shtml