MST3K quote fest! Add your favorites here!

[AlGore-08.com]

It's a cold day for pontooning.

[electricmonk]

1. Crow-Time of the Apes

"Let's crap in our hands and throw it at people! Heh heh... You know, no matter how much you evolve, that's still damn funny."

[Chovexani]

2. Mitchell

"Our hero, ladies and gentlemen." -Joel on a soused, slovenly Joe Don Baker in the back of a squad car

[attaturk]

5. "How do you like your scotch?"

Mitchell:

"Uh, by the quart."

[Chovexani]

7. That was my favorite episode ever

"What a loser actor bouquet!" - Crow during the opening credits.

[WMliberal]

8. Mitchell is getting the crap kicked out of him and Joel says

"for some reason I just don't want this scene to end"

[Richardo]

55. (Plane crash in mountains) "Let's form a soccer team and eat each other!"

Crow, I believe. :D

[Cornjob]

15. 'The last thing a sausage sees....' from Final Justice

It was an extreme close-up of Joe Don Baker licking his lips.

Extrememly funny!!!!!

[AlGore-08.com]

19. Hey, look - - an Appleby's.

ROTFLMTO

[Patiod]

54. Mitchell! Livin high on the sammich

Wacka-chucka,wacha-chucka, heart poundin, Mitchell! veins clogging, Mitchell!

"You don't have to be a pig for the rest of your life, Mitchell." "Well, I kinda *do*..."

What was the episode where they kept threatening people with "TAW-CHA!" (torture)

[deutsey]

64. "My my my my GOD!"

Cry of desperation as the theme song was being played (My my my my Mitchell).

[Norbert]

3. "Oh boy...

...here's a film of It's a Wonderful Life. Wait, this is the Marlo Thomas version. Here's Miracle on 34th Street. Darn, it the Sebastian Cabot version."

[jpgray]

4. Mmm. Delicious kitty. Kitty looks like a potato (nt)

[Chovexani]

9. LOL

Was that from Pod People? I loved that one.

"Idiot control now!"

[AntiCoup2K4]

13. This is what I always remember from "Pod People"

Servo: Oh, terrific, we were saved by the gates of hell.
Crow: What is it about the gates of hell that compels people to walk into them?
Joel: It's because of Smucker's raspberry preserves.
Crow: Hey, what's he gonna do, borrow a cup of sugar from Satan?
Joel: No, he's gonna borrow a cup of Smucker's raspberry jam. Smells like real fruit.

[Chovexani]

18. Man that was funny

"It stinks!"

[Zuni]

26. That was the best parody they ever did

down to TV's Frank wearing the "I am a Virgin" t-shirt.

:rofl:

The Pod People was a timeless classic

[Chovexani]

40. That's one of my favorite host segments

Right up there with the one where Servo got turned into a Toaster Strudel...:rofl:

[Deep13]

47. "Finish your training you will!"

Sounds like Norm Abrams being killed by a giant chicken.

I want to kill some game in peace.--Do you have any idea what you just said?!

He died as he lived, with his mouth open.

[gizmonic]

63. He looks like a Leather-mug salesman

[gizmonic]

65. Zest-fully dead!

[Zuni]

28. Go for it. They ain't wearing orange.

[SPQR]

6. Crow:

"I guess the plot is none of our business."

[Chovexani]

10. From the Cheating short

"For depressing phone sex, dial 1-900-Alfalfa." - Crow

"Fortunately, Johnny's mob ties will get him off." - Tom Servo

[attaturk]

11. "He tried to kill me with a forklift!!"

From Fugitive Alien I & II

[attaturk]

12. "Gamera is really neat,

He is filled with turtle meat"

[aeolian]

32. We all love you, Gam-er-a!

:rofl:

[Aristus]

14. "Biff Beefbroth!"

"Hank Hardchest!........Brick Benchpress!.........Stone Manmountain!..........Gristle McThornbody!...........(and everyDU-er's favorite)...Big McLargeHuge!......"

"Wow! These guys died and lost all their muscle mass, man!"

[aeolian]

20. Hank Neckbone!

[sakabatou]

34. Flint IronStag, Bulk VanderHuge, Thick McRunFast...

Blast HardCheese, Punch RockGroin, Buck PlankChest...
Stump JunkMan, Dirk HardPec, Rip SteakFace...
Slate SlabRock, Crud BoneMeal, Brick HardMeat...
Rip SlagCheek, Punch SideIron, Gristle McThornBody...
Slate FistCrunch, Buff HardBack, Blast ThickNeck...
Crunch ButtSteak, Slab SquatThrust, Lump BeefBroth...
Touch Rustrod, Brief Blastbody, Big McLargeHuge...
Smoke ManMuscle, Feet PunchBeef...

Rob Johnson?

[AlGore-08.com]

37. Let's see what this lark can do!

It's Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God.



Ha-ha-ha! He's gonna have so much sex with your daughter!

[attaturk]

44. "Missus Claus and I have an understanding."

"She's displaying like a mandrill"

"She's got an armidillo in her trousers."

"Ho, ho. Ho?"

"Looks like this year Christmas has come to Santa."

[gizmonic]

56. Did you sign Sherry's birthday card?

Awfully nice of them to give that dead girl her job back.

Quit screaming! You're in your own room!

She's dusted herself with weight gain powder

[Aristus]

67. "Way to look alive everyone!"

"(Oh, sorry Susan!)"

[Cornjob]

16. From 12 to the Moon...

David, the young Jewish astronomer says in disbelief to the old German scientist...

"So you are the son of Kronhauer, the nazi beast who killed my family?"

German scientist responds...

"Oh, you knew my Poppy?!"

Great stuff!

[Jara sang]

17. Crow: I want to decide who lives and who dies. n/t

[Zuni]

21. Trumpy is evil

[aeolian]

22. Just tending the Incubus, Mother.

[bicentennial_baby]

23. I like it very much!...Bootblacking!

from The Prince of Space

[aeolian]

24. Boy, Santa's really haulin' ass, isn't he?

[bicentennial_baby]

25. Jody...I've got a touch of Satan...

from A Touch of Satan

[Deep13]

48. Walnut stampede!

I have two Grandmas, Mike. The other one doesn't kill people, though. This one does. That's how I tell them apart.

[gizmonic]

57. This is where the fish lives n/t

[AlGore-08.com]

27. (Red Zone Cuba) Servo: "Turns out he's a natural at grief counseling."

Servo: "I see the movie's just thrown up it's hands and said 'I don't know'."

[aeolian]

29. Daaahh...Tor make bunt cake

[djeseru]

30. "Now I'll have to immolate myself...

...to subdue the buzzing in my head..." - Horror of Party Beach

Or, "This is going straight up my nose..." from the same film.

Giant Spider Invasion has a few more of my favorites.

[aeolian]

31. Tom: "Ah, the haunting 'Torgo' theme"

[aeolian]

38. another one from Manos

in a scene where people just sit in a car and look around for what seems like ten minutes, Servo finally screams "DO SOMETHING!"

[Deep13]

50. I'm torn!

Torgo? My wife?

[AlGore-08.com]

33. (I Accuse My Parents) Servo: "I was torn from the thigh of Zeus!"

[sakabatou]

68. "We have a title!"

[MnFats]

35. "How much Keefe is in this movie?"

"Miles O'Keefe."

[MnFats]

36. Oh, forgot, also from Cah-vey Dwellers: "Hey, you commie rats!"

"Henry Kissinger says 'Merry Cristmas!'"


hilarious but maybe a little arcane unless you're older than 45.

[Deep13]

51. We're out of blue stuff!

Ends of the Earth! Ends of the Earth! ...

[Eyeball Kid]

71. Watch out for snakes!

And, from the Incredible Melting Man:

"Hurts, don't it! Tell your friends!"

[Chovexani]

39. Sing the praises of pants!

Crow: Joel, I hate movies where men wear shorter skirts than the women!

[Aristus]

41. "POO-ma MAN! He flies like a MORON!"

From the awful, awful "Puma Man".

[Zhade]

42. "Alien from L.A."

Airhead heroine Kathy Ireland opens a piece of paper...

"Oh no!"

Bots: "Three syllables!"

:rofl:

(Not my favorite, but a damn funny episode IMHO.)

[Ratty]

43. "I like jello"

I actually used that one in something I had to write. It fit in perfectly, just as it did in the MST3K episode.

[jpgray]

45. He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature

And because of it the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death... fire... loss... disillusionment... the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery--but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself.

[Deep13]

46. "You know what my kids whould say."

"You're not our real father!" This Island Earth

[AlGore-08.com]

53. "My-my-my-my Mitchell, what would your Mama say?"

Crow: "He's not mine, you can't prove it!"

[gizmonic]

59. "Put you in the bitch transformer!"

This Island EARTTTTTHHHHH!

Now there are two woodys in this scene.

Remember me now, Ruth? WOOF, WOOF!

[gizmonic]

60. Pouring the Syrup -- YUM -- OMIGOD, my WAFFLES!

[Deep13]

70. Increase the Flash Gordon noises andput more science stuff around.

Industry, science, technology!
Big men putting screwdrivers in things, turning them and adjusting them!
State of the art in soft serve technology.
Build your own atom storage box. Snaps lids off any size jug, bottle or can and it really, really works.

[AlGore-08.com]

72. "Welcome to the Buddy Ebson Society!"

"Open it to the 'underwear' section... "



"I'm dropping you off at the North Pole, is that okay?"

[Deep13]

73. Other people need to use this ladder, ya' know.

Now that you've exploded, any words for our listeners?

[attaturk]

49. Dysfunctional Orville Redenbacher Sketch

...with names changed to protect from suit.

http://www.mst3kinfo.com/ward_e/Bit212b.html

[Ryano42]

52. Toobular Boobular!

:)

I miss MST3K and Joel!

[gizmonic]

58. Crow, I'm putting you on Clu Gulager watch!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

61. Terror at Sea Level!!!!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

62. Big McLargeHuge

[ElaineinIN]

66. When you're out of slits, you're out of pier.....

hilarious!

[sakabatou]

69. From Godzilla vs. Megalon...

HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL

EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL

JET JAGUAR ? JET JAGUAR !

HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM

HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY

HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA

HE BASICLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT HE'D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID AGAINST A ROCK

KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !

WHO'S THERE ?

HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON

DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY

YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !

DON'T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN