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MsConduct Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:20 AM
Original message
Politically Correct Speak....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY"
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE"
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND"
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY"
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS"
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING"
He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER"
He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK"
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL A*S"
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG"
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT"
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
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LastKnight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:25 AM
Response to Original message
1. overly caucasian... damn... THATS ME!
why cant all women use that term, its not so hurtful. that and im pale so it would work anyway.

-LK
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 03:34 AM
Response to Original message
2. LOL! That's good !
:rofl:
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 05:28 AM
Response to Original message
3. "Rectal-cranial inversion"
I've loved that one since I heard it on "Third Watch" (although there it was used as a euphemism for "has his/her head up his/her ass" :rofl:
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 06:36 AM
Response to Original message
4. When does "follicle regression" become a full retreat?
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MsConduct Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. LOL I guess that would have to be your call. n/t
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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-12-05 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
6. rear cleavage
hee hee. Get some push up supports for that puppy, guys, maybe a little dusting of shimery power to deepen the effect. A little butterful tattoo, just on the peekaboo top. I think we have something here.
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