Nothing is More Distracting than a White Woman

[Spiffarino]

With biting sarcasm, SomethingAwful website nails it, as usual.

This really hasn't been a great year for America so far. The whole Iraq thing really isn't working out too well, the economy could be in trouble, and "Son of the Mask" was actually released in theaters. Sorry about that, rest of the world.

Thankfully, you don't really need to worry about serious issues like the thousands of soldiers and civilians dying in the Middle East, the nearly 8 trillion dollar national debt, or silly things like famine or whatever is happening in places that aren't America... because the media spends most of its time and effort focusing on the current WWotM.

If you aren't familiar with the abbreviation, "WWotM" is shorthand for "White Woman of the Moment." This is the Caucasian female that the major news outlets are most breathlessly talking and writing about at the present time.

[BrklynLiberal]

1. This was posted on another thread yesterday. Don't have the link.

I just copied it from the email I sent out to my list.

http://thepoorman.net/?p=179

NBC, CNN announce merger
June 11 (Bloomberg) — In a surprise move expected to send shockwaves through the world of TV journalism, CNN, the orginal cable news network, and NBC, which owns cable channels MSNBC and CNBC, announced a deal to consolidate their news organizations into a single giant news network. By pooling their journalistic resources, the organizations will be able to offer deeper coverage of the most important stories of the day, and will be better equipped to complete with current cable news champion FOX News. The new network - to be called Where the White Women At?, or WWWA - is set to debut this week.

At CNN President Jonathan Klein explained the deal at a press conference on Saturday. “For most of history, journalists could afford to spend their time covering wars, famines, politics, and business. The reason for this is that everybody knew where the white women were at - at home, probably in the kitchen, minding the kids. Sure, sometimes they were out shopping, or knitting at a friend’s house, or even working as an elementary school teacher, but, by and large, the location and status of all white women was known.

“However, society has changed, and the business of journalism has changed with it. These days, with the increased opportunities available to white women, we as a nation are losing track of even the prettiest white women. White women are dissappearing in Aruba, from their jobs as Washington interns, and even right before their own weddings. And while we do our best to give the public all the necessary information about missing white women, the job is just too large for any one cable network to handle.

“And it is not just the number of white women who are going missing that is the problem. There are also white women who aren’t missing, but whose location and situation demands public attention. There are white women on trial for drowning their kids, white women who are dead but nobody knows who killed them, and even some white women who are on spring break and drunkenly flashing their breasts. Clearly, the sheer volume of white women stories is beyond anything journalists have ever had to deal with before.

But even when we restrict our coverage to only the prettiest white women, the coverage is often superficial and redundant. Really: does the public need to hear interviews with Jennifer Wilbanks’ bridesmaids on MSNBC, CNN, and CNBC? Of course not. The public should be able to hear interviews with Jennifer Wilbanks’ bridesmaids on MSNBC, interviews with her coworkers on CNN, and commentary by experts in the field of missing white women on CNBC. However, today, the fragmented nature of the cable news business makes such in-depth coverage impossible. With this merger, we will increase the breadth and depth of our missing white women coverage, and so meet our sacred obligation to keep the electorate informed and aware about where the white women are at.”

The new network will consist of a WWWA channel, as well as WWWA Headline News, which will deliver all day’s key missing white women developments every half hour. Most of WWWA’s time will be devoted to covering current missing white women, but there will also be talk shows where groups of white men get together to discuss the significance of the day’s missing or imperilled white women. Additionally, there are plans for a game show, hosted by Tom DeLay and James Dobson, where family member compete in trivia contests and gross-out physical challenges in order to determine whether or not their comatose white women relatives are kept on life support.

For his part, FOX president Roger Ailes said the deal was no threat to his network. “WWWA will probably become the public’s most trusted source for white women news, but we at FOX view this as an opportunity. While WWWA is focused on white women, we will be able to satisfy the public’s curiousity about shark attacks, babies falling down wells, and celebrity murders, as well as the latest stories of Beloved Leader’s brilliant triumphs over terrorists, Frenchmen, and their villianous Democrat allies.”

WWWA debuts in most markets on Monday, June 13. It begins its exclusive coverage of white women at midnight with a six-hour special on Michael Jackson.

June 11, 2005 at 6:44 pm

[LisaL]

5. Completely disagree. Michael Jackson is not a white woman.

[Spinzonner]

6. Yes, but it's a close call

[Spiffarino]

7. Michael Jackson has spent millions turning himself from

...a handsome black man into a horribly ugly white woman. Give the poor guy some credit.

[Nikia]

12. Is he anorexic?

That's really light for 5'11''. I don't remember him being that skinny when he was a popular performer.

[Redstone]

10. Not for lack of trying.

Redstone

[HEyHEY]

2. Well, they may be right about the press - but I don't like

Them seemingly blaming the women victims of many of these terrible things. They may not be as bad a car bomb killing 60 people... but making light of a girl who was raped to death is pretty low.

[Spiffarino]

3. With respect

I don't care much for the tone, either. Only the fact that they nailed the problem squarely - that the "news" we get is not news at all, that the media look for things that will cause instant feelings of shock and revulsion, while they remain silent on the issues that affect us most directly.

[HEyHEY]

4. I agree with that 100 per cent

[Redstone]

11. We agree on this one.

The oppos in this case do indeed seem to feel there's something wrong with being an attractive white woman.

And that's every single bit as racist an atttude as people who don't like black folks.

Redstone

[Pithlet]

8. My problem

is that most of these WWOTW stories should be nothing more than local interest. That the national media picks up on these stories and gives them top breaking news status is ridiculous.

[Nikia]

9. Exactly

It makes sense that the local news media would want to cover these stories. I don't know why national news would want to cover these when there are so many more things going on.