Anybody have a relative

[bloom]

who stole money out of your purse/wallet?

What did you do?

[clydefrand]

1. Have a niece that stole my engagement ring. Does that count?

She was 15. Was in my house while her parents and we were loading furniture that I was giving to her.

What did I do when I discovered it? We drove for more than 30 minutes to get to their home and I confronted her. She denied it as did her dad. But I saw it in her tight jeans pocket. She pulled it out and handed it over. We left.

Do I trust her today at age 34? Hell no! She hasn't learned anything yet.

[bloom]

3. Yeah - that counts

that is bad.

This was a niece, also.

I'm sick about it - for one thing - now I realize she also stole money a few months ago and I wanted to believe that I misplaced it.

There was no denying it this time. She's 18. He dad used to steal from my mom when he was that age. Now he's in jail - for 20 years - for other stuff.

It's sad to think I may never trust her again. It certainly changes the relationship.

[Fuzz]

2. My wife does it all the time!

Not really stealing though.

I have gone to the store and gone to pay for things knowing that I should have money in my wallet and opened it only to find it drained of all funds several times.

:)

[NJCher]

4. I'd never do that to my husband!

Nervy!

I think you should tell her hands off the wallet.


Cher

[haele]

5. Kid or adult?

Pre-teens and teenagers tend to do this sort of thing because they're sooo self-centered about their wants and they view adults as ATM's - until 1)it's made clear that they are stealing from the family and are made to go without something important like equivalent value to the stolen money in meals or the family taxi service to drive home what happens when money disappears or 2) they get their own jobs and learn the value of money.
I'll admit it up front - from the ages of 10 to around 13, I used to snag change from the change bowl because I thought a candy bar on the way to and from school was my right because I had to watch my little brother "without pay" for about two hours a day and help start dinner during the week. Even if my parents would mention that they didn't have enough money for a big grocery run for the week, I'd snag change by dimes and nickles every day for that 20 - 30 cents a day I needed for my "allowance". It kept up until the day they thought they had enough change a couple days before payday to buy a loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter, but since I had taken about a dollar in change that week...we didn't eat lunch and breakfast for three days. And it was made clear it was MY FAULT that we barely had enough food for one meal before the next payday. I never pulled that little trick ever again again.

Kids - especially the tweeners - are selfish little bastards.

For the never yet employed, the problem comes from the fact that they don't understand the value of money and how budgeting is critical in the balance between needs and wants.

If the kid isn't your own or living with you, you'll just have to make sure that there's nothing valuable he or she can get to. If it's an older teen or adult that's doing the taking - treat them as you would any other acquaintance that is caught doing that.

Just remember that in this situation or any other abusive situation, even if you're the "favorite doting uncle/aunt/grandparent" - familial relationship really means nothing unless they're actually living with you and you have some control over their behavior.

The best way to deal with it would be to bring it up calmly and with whatever actual evidence you have (no innuendo, no threats), determine a fair compensation for the breaking of the trust factor, and insure that there is no repeat of the offense, either by removing the relative from access to the money in the wallet (or any other valuables) or removing access to the money in the wallet, purse, jewelry box, etc from the relative by keeping them in a locked area of the house when you aren't actually using the item.

Good luck.

Haele

[bloom]

6. The saddest thing to me

is in the context of the last year of her life (18/19) - she's started on a downward spiral.

I feel bad for her mother/my sister and the whole thing.

I also want my money back.

My mother's birthday party had been so nice and now the day is shot to hell.

[NoSheep]

7. Niece took my pain meds. Creepy.

[foreigncorrespondent]

8. Yep!

Can't prove it though. My niece has been taking money from her mother, my mother and me for years.

Now my niece is in a real down hill spiral towards the land of heavy drugs and early pregnancy. It is sad to watch too. She has put her mother (my sister) through hell these last say four years.

She has been caught shop lifting, wagging school, missing from home, you name it. Unfortunately no one can reach her either. She shows no emotions what so ever.