George Carlin fans

[proud2BlibKansan]

I just got this email. I find it hard to believe that it was really authored by George Carlin. For one thing, isn't he an atheist?

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We need our country back !

[deadparrot]

1. It's not.

Been proved wrong on Snopes.

ETA link:
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. Thank you

I forwarded that link to the friend who sent me this email.

[deadparrot]

13. No problem.

:)

[mac56]

2. Check Snopes.com

I think this is not really George Carlin, but an urban legend.

[bridgit]

3. i'm in...

"i've been: fine. and i've: dandy. but i've never been fine & dandy at the same time."

[tjwash]

4. Old and false. Been emailed to hell and back already.

George has a page set up for this

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. There is some funny stuff at that link

I love Carlin.

[AlCzervik]

5. My Mom was a huge Carlin fan and when i was growing up she had his lps

from the 70's, hilarious stuff even today. FM/AM, Class Clown, Ocupation Foole and Toledo window box are my all favorites from Carlin.

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. I always liked his bit on

dirty words on TV. LOL

[johnnie]

6. Here's what George said about this:

Note: There is a new bogus Carlin email circulating, which you can see here - it's utterly NOT Carlin's work. New Note <06/01>: Another bogus Carlin piece about life going backwards (also available here and 48,000 other places online). This one has also been attributed to Robert Benson and Andy Rooney. <06/01>: More lists of jokes being forwarded around the Internet that are not Carlin. It will never end. <07/01> Here are 3 joke lists that were not written by George Carlin: this includes the "Bad American" email that has been making the rounds. We may repeat ourselves here a little in the name of truth...)

DON'T BLAME ME
Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.


More:
http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html

[Cornus]

7. Check GC's website

Disclaimer there:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

[noahmijo]

8. When I first read this I thought I can never listen to Carlin again

To think he doesn't watch wrestling!!! I was sulking for a week....

:::sarcasm off:::

[xmas74]

9. Some of that crap reminds me of the supposed

Ted Nugent speech. I had an email of his a few years ago passed onto me that was called "Bad American". His included a DQ shake being sold to him in English.

[proud2BlibKansan]

16. Well I can't think of two more opposite personalities

than Carlin and Nugent. Love one, can't stomach the other. I'm sure you can guess which is which. LOL

[xmas74]

20. Snopes said that this was first read on FR.

Proves the validity of this email-none.

[proud2BlibKansan]

26. Kinda makes me feel sorry for the freepers

They want to steal our celebrities. And I can't blame them. Who have they got? Nugent and Toby Keith? LOL Who are their comedians - Larry the Cable Guy, but who else? No one really funny, that's for sure.

[xmas74]

27. It's just silly.

They make crap up and here's the proof.

[BrklynLiberal]

10. Dead giveaway that Carlin did not write this....

"and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money."

Have you ever read what he has to say about God and religion?

[Eric J in MN]

15. Also the fact that it sounds nothing like him. (nt)

nt

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. That would be my first clue also

I just read his latest book WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS?

He is definitely not proud of anything having to do with God. LOL

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. Thank you for all your responses

DUers are just the best!!

:yourock: :yourock: :yourock: :yourock:

[Catchawave]

19. George Carlin's 10 Commandments......

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
from "Complaints and Grievances" (HBO special)

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy....more at link below!

thanks to and continued at: http://www.geocities.com/bobmelzer/gc10cx.html

[ghostsofgiants]

23. MP3 from George's site

http://georgecarlin.com/mp3/George%20Carlin%20-%20When%20Will%20Jesus%20Bring%20the%20Pork%20Chops%20-%20The%20Ten%20Commandments.mp3

[Beware the Beast Man]

21. Old urban legend. It's not even in his style.

[ghostsofgiants]

22. Anyone who really thinks Carlin wrote that...

Obviously doesn't know Carlin too well.

[GOPBasher]

24. It's NOT Carlin! I got that same email, attributed to Ted Nugent! n/t

[ghostsofgiants]

25. Just in case you are concerned about Carlin possibly being a conservative

From "Complaints and Grievances"

"The people who are motivated are the ones who are causing all the trouble: stock swindlers, serial killers, child molestors, christian conservatives? These people are highly motivated!"