I'm opening up a strip club- apply here.

[Beware the Beast Man]

Dancers (all genders), bouncers, and bartenders needed for "The Lounge," my new exotic dancing club which caters to a progressive crowd. And if anyone can get me a deal on puple neon lighting, it would be much appreciated. :thumbsup:

[progmom]

1. will you be stripping?

i'll be a customer if you do....

[Beware the Beast Man]

6. Hell yeah, baby, Thursdays are Wookiee Nights!

I bent my Wookiee, if you know what I mean! :P

[progmom]

12. poor wookie!

x(

[Zuni]

21. my wookie turns to the left

:cry:

[Zuni]

2. sweet

this is the best day of my life! :bounce:

[sasquatch]

3. I'll be the bouncer

[northzax]

4. I'm good at weatherstripping

can I get work?

[CanuckAmok]

5. I want to be a very selective doorman.

And I think I left some purple lighting in my mom's basement when I was 17... I'll see if it's still there.

[StopTheMorans]

7. I'd like to be a bouncer; what do i get to bounce?

:shrug:

[matcom]

8. i wanna be in charge of auditions and hiring

:bounce:

[Beware the Beast Man]

11. You'll be our Quality Assurance manager.

You have to test all lap dances to make sure they're safe.

[matcom]

15. YES!! go i get a badge too?

:bounce:

[Beware the Beast Man]

16. Yes, and a clipboard.

And a lab coat...

[matcom]

17. but JUST the lab coat right?

:D

[progmom]

20. well you need something to pin your badge to

....right?

[Zuni]

23. his banana hammock!?!?

I think there is room for a badge on one of those

[JimmyJazz]

54. Badge: yes. Sash: no! You've exceeded your sash quota

already, matcom. :P

[dolo amber]

9. I'll be the *bouncer*, if you know what I mean

:7

[Zuni]

27. yes....yes

you'll throw rowdy patrons out if they harass the dancers. ;)

[dolo amber]

34. It would've been funnier

had I had SOteric's 'shaking boobies' smiley. :(

Damn you SOteric...DAMN YOU!! :cry:

[Magrittes Pipe]

47. Mmmmmm....

:bounce::bounce:

:loveya:

[Mizmoon]

10. My act involves furniture, turpentine, and

full frontal clothedness.

Am I hired?

[Beware the Beast Man]

14. Excellent! That will be our "legitimate" front!

:D

[asthmaticeog]

13. Purple neon lighting? My brother-in-law can get it for you wholesale!

Oy!

Also, I'm willing to dance on "Cut Night."

[tigereye]

50. only if you sing!

;)

[aden_nak]

18. WARNING! Explicit Picture Of A Stripper Here In:

[LastKnight]

19. lets combine it with the 24 hour resturant concept!...

breakfast anytime of the day... AND a lapdance!

thats high class there... people are gonna have to make reservations a month ahead of time!

-LK

[eyesroll]

22. Can I be a shot girl?

To play off the massive glasses fetish the men here seem to have... I could dress up in a "lab coat" and fishnets and carry green and blue shots of ... well, whatever the hell they put in there... in a test-tube rack.

:bounce::bounce:

On edit: Oops, I mean:

Can I be a shot womyn?

[Beware the Beast Man]

25. If it's a gunmetal labcoat, you're hired!

:evilgrin:

[CanuckAmok]

26. wow, I'm glad that's what "shot girl" means...

...I misunderstood, and was about to change sides.

[Zuni]

30. woah---once I was at a nightclub, not a strip club

in Baltimore, and scantily dressed women had those trays of shots. My buddy tells the one girl it is my birthday, even though it wasn't. And next thing I know, she has me on all fours and was whipping me with a fucking belt! It hurt :cry:

[tigereye]

51. oh you men!

"shakes head."

silly Zuni, tricks are for....

[mongo]

24. I'm an exprect in pole installation

in case you need some assistance... You have to abide by the OSHA requirements...

I'd offer my assisatance dancing, but I think it might cause revenue to go down if I did.

And of course, I have shoes and t-backs for the ladies, and thongs for the guys too.

[dolo amber]

28. "pole installation"

Is that what the kids are calling it these days? :spray: :rofl:

[LastKnight]

29. CAnnoT hAve DA MONGO!

sorry if youre not a SNL fan, couldnt resist.

[GOPisEvil]

31. All dancers must wear glasses upon request!

:thumbsup:

[sniffa]

32. ooh, oooh i want in!

can i be the guy who breaks into the customers' cars?
or maybe the guy who Leaves contact numbers under the wipers for a "LittLe something extra"?

i can muLtitask and do both.

[Beware the Beast Man]

33. You can run the "book store" next door.

[sniffa]

37. sure, as Long as someone eLse is the mop guy

[Beware the Beast Man]

41. Not to worry.

I know another forum that has a weatlth of prospective jizzmoppers. :evilgrin:

[mongo]

49. ohhhh.. you're BAD

A lost it on that one.... The customers must think I'm crazy.

[Trigger Hippie]

35. I'm in...

I wanna shake what my mama gave me. Plus, I wear glasses for those of you into that.

:evil grin:

[LastKnight]

36. im a guy... but im in...

hey you said you needed both... lol

-LK

[NoSheep]

38. I'll help decorate! Let's start with black walls. And upholstery the color

of a margarita! B-)

[meganmonkey]

39. I like showing off my great...er...skills...

Thanks mom! Keeps the boys happy!

:bounce::bounce: if you know what I mean

[matcom]

40. ooo can i ALSO be 'Brazilian Wax Inspector'?

since i'll have my clipboard and all

[Beware the Beast Man]

42. OK, I'll budget some tongue depressors as well.

[tigereye]

52. I'll come and lecture you

on your sheer lack of political correctness... :evilgrin:


OTOH, maybe you could make a new career of this, BTBM. You would have plenty of musicians who could play whatever tunes are required. If, in fact, tunes are required.

[edbermac]

43. I'd like to named as silicone inspector...

Just want to make sure the ladies are all natural...I hate plastic tits...

[tyedyeto]

44. I'll keep all finances in proper order

And keep all those green bills stacked properly all the way to...er... the bank

[Aristus]

45. I'd like to apply as a bartender, please.

Just tell me we are not going to be one of those places that has watered-down booze and a two-drink minimum. I want to be part of a four-oh establishment.

[tjwmason]

46. I'll be a bartender

Which will be ideal just as long as everybody wants gin and tonic or a totally kick-ass ultra-dry martini.

Just as long as the bar is close to the stage, and I'm allowed to drink whilst serving.

[xmas74]

48. Ok. What should I be?

[tjwmason]

53. A dancer, of course

If you'd prefer you could be a bartender alongside myself - we could get quitely drunk watching the gorgeous folk of D.U. on the stage. :evilgrin:

[xmas74]

56. I just need a job-preferrably one that pays

more than I make now.

[The Animator]

55. I can design the Logo, and any artwork that you need.

I can design the T-shirts, and shot glasses that are given away during the "specials".

Ooo. I also have an airbrush... so if any of the ladies are interested in "body art".