Trying not to feel hurt by this

[jiacinto]

A friend of mine and I just talked. She was able to get a very good job that almost pays 100K a year. She is roughly my age and went to law school.

I am very, very happy for her. I'm not jealous. But there have been times where I've felt like: "why can't that be me?" It is just upsetting because a lot of my other friends from college are in good jobs and making good money.

What I've been telling myself is: "Carlos, is worrying and feeling upset because Person X is making 100K a year going to get you a job? Is wasting your energy on something like that a good use of your time?"

But it is upsetting.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. Don't do it.

You are a victim of the pervasive influences of media. Where everyone is a millionaire. that is not real life.
sure, that sounds like a lot of money. but does she have to maintain a lifestyle that is beyond that 100k? will she have to do things she does not want to for the money?
what will the stress do to her>?

what would it do to you?

Also, think about this. If the balloon goes down in this country, I mean really, really down, those at that level have a lot further to fall.

And remember this. It is not the fall that kills ya, but the sudden stop.

[LTR]

2. Remember

It's not a race, it's a marathon.

[Paul Hood]

29. Isn't a marathon

a race?

[La_Serpiente]

3. You remind me of

Ron from the Harry Potter series in book four. Ron was jealous of Harry Potter because "Mr. Potter" had all these special talents and was rich. Ron was poor and not very good when it came to magic, but he didn't realize that he had a loving, caring family and a home.

Don't be putting on these blinders to your own individual self. Look for the positives attributes, not the negative emotions that bring you down.

Go out there and make yourself proud of yourself.

[UrbScotty]

4. Well, keep on pressin'.

You are too good not to get someone's attention soon.

Hoping for good things!

[kcr]

5. Its natural

to feel a little upset - just dont let it interfere with your friendship. I am sure you are also happy for them.

Money and jobs are not everything. If you are working to your own goals for life, then you are making your life as happy as it can be. If you are not, or find that your goals aren't satisfying you, then work to change them. I know its hard - I know its frustrating. I worked my way through school, literally still haven't finished the bachelors. During those seven years, all my friends from high school went on and found better jobs and started theoir careers. But I did make it. I got into a field I enjoy and will have the bachelors in May. I also decided to go to law school, and did allright on the LSATS. It can be done. Don't let your current situation get you too down. You're a smart guy who will gets where he wants to go at some point. And you will probably have the more interesting trip, whihc will make you better when you get there.

[jiacinto]

7. It's not interfering with the friendship

This girl owes more money in loans that I have. She has worked very hard to get where she is and deserves the job.

But it's hard sometimes watching her and my other friends in great jobs when I am stuck begging temp agencies to give me work, using Careerbuilder/Monster in vain, and cold calling people for interviews.

[kcr]

9. Good, and I understand

The litany of shit jobs I had would blow your mind.

But as I said, you are smart, and you are working hard, and you will make it to where you want to be. Rememember that, and it will be allright.

[jiacinto]

10. I know what you mean

But it's hard as my checking account heads to $0.00 and she can go to a fancy restaurant to dinner with her boyfriend.

[vi5]

6. Well, if she went through 2-3 additional years of law school....

That's a lot of effort and I'm assuming more than a little monetary investment. It doesn't sound like it's someone who is lazy and just fell ass backwards into a job that pays 100K.

Every one of my friends who went to law school easily made that to start, but they also had an additional 2-3 years of hellish hard work, studying and competition among their peers.

[jiacinto]

8. She deserves to be where she is

I agree with that. It's just hard seeing everyone else you know in good jobs when no one will give you the time of day.

[Clete]

13. Hit her up for a job.

She's going to need some help if she's going anywhere on the job. It wouldn't be that bad to be her assistant would it? Ask her if she needs an assistant? Sometimes you have to start at a lowly job to get anywhere. I've done it many times. When managers noticed what I can do, then I would get promoted. Sometimes you have to work your connections as well as put out your resume the regular way.

[jiacinto]

21. She is 1,000 miles away

nt

[Droopy]

11. Hey, man

I spent seven years driving a truck and making 35k a year. I wasn't happy with my job, but the money was good enough to keep me fed and housed. I even manged to set a little back for retirement.

Now I'm back in school pursuing a degree that will probably net me even less money when I get out. But it's something that I'll be happy with.

The point is, don't worry too much about money. Happiness is the key. Why would you want to spend your life being unhappy even if you are making a lot of money? If you can find a job making a lot of money that you enjoy, then more power to you. But remember, you can make it on less and money does not always equate to hapiness.

[Khephra]

12. I'm a writer, but I'm not Will Pitt

:shrug: to each his or her own place in life.

[ulysses]

14. dude, it really does go back to

the question I asked you a while back - what do you want? What do you want out of your life?

Money will be a never-ending source of frustration if you let it be that. It's an issue to be sure, but it's starting to seem like a hangup for you. What other sources of pleasure and accomplishment do you have?

[rbnyc]

15. You keep asking yourself the same question.

When you stop and listen for the answer, what kinds of things do you come up with?

[rbnyc]

23. ...or ask yourself this:

What's your pay-off for staying stuck?

[jiacinto]

24. Answers

Life isn't fair. Things take time. Be Patient.

[stevedeshazer]

28. Hey, man

I just interviewed for a job today that pays half of what I made a year ago. Over three hundred people applied. I still have to beat out six people to get the job.

Don't be discouraged, though. I've vowed to vote for a Democrat this time.

[DulceDecorum]

16. It is not only

the good luck that you miss,
It is also the bad luck.
You may not have won the lottery,
but have you been hit by lightening?

Some of my friends have been very sucessful monetarily and have children who I cannot describe politely.
Others are just as poor -or as rich- as the Buddha.
Just remember, you ain't gonna be able to take nothing outa here,
and
you got a whole Democratic Underground rooting for you.

[Nlighten1]

17. I'm happy and I don't make that much money

as a matter of fact I am making less money than I did a few years ago but my quality of life has grown.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

18. It's not upsetting that it's happening

It's upsetting that it's not happening for you.

Find out what they are doing to achieve those jobs.

In the field you are looking at, you need to get involved and become known.

You gotta get out of the house and go to events where you can create a network of people to become known to.

That's what you need to do if you are really out to seek work in your field.

The holidays are coming up and there will be mixers. Get out of the house..GO TO THEM and take whatever shit ass survival job you can do in the meantime..meet people and tell yourself you can deal with anything for a SET TIME (say 6 months)..set that time..create your network and then act.

[jiacinto]

22. Trying to do that

I have a list of alumni from both schools I went to that I am calling and emailing. I have an appointment with one next Tuesday to talk about real estate careers.

[Skittles]

19. Carlos, if you continue to rate your self worth by comparing

yourself to other people, you will NEVER be happy.

[forgethell]

20. Never give up hope

I worked hard all my life. Four years ago, at age 51, it was all taken away from me by a back-stabbing person I thought was my friend. I lost everything, house. savings, credit. Everything but my family. But I didn't give up, and now, 4 years later I'm in a better house, with a job I enjoy infinitely more, that pays more money. I paid off $30,000 in credit card debt, and my son graduated from college last May.

Keep at it, and good luck.

[Wonk]

25. kick, just cuz....

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. Ask yourself

what career you would follow if you had an independent income but wanted to take an interesting job in order to keep busy?

When I asked myself that question, I realized that I wanted to be a translator, so I eventually bumbled my way into a career that keeps a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator and allows a few luxuries.

I could make more money as a doctor or lawyer, but I would hate the actual work, so I've never even been tempted to go either route.

[KG]

27. ask yourself

how much money did i realistically expect to be making 6 mos out of college with a poli sci degree?