My fetish is cool. Your fetish is sick and wrong.

[short bus president]

Discuss.

[MercutioATC]

1. ...but that's all part of the attraction...

If it wasn't sick and wrong, it wouldn't be fun...

[Capn Sunshine]

2. Give me one reason why Filthy Sanchez is wrong

I'm waiting.....

[Frangible]

3. _Dirty_ Sanchez!

uh, not that I would know anything about that.

[short bus president]

4. filthy is a distant cousin

not TOO distant, though.

The Sanchez family is ever-growing.

[Guaranteed]

27. Oh JESUS CHRIST!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty+sanchez

I didn't know. I'm not sure you guys are thinking it's this.
Seriously- if you're over the age of, say, 23, don't look at this link. This is REALLY sick.

[RandomKoolzip]

5. Is it wrong for a man to have a fetish that kinda objectifies women to

a certain extent? I have a cheerleader fetish, and I also like ponytails on women. Is that sick? Can a man ever not in some way objectify women where sex is concerned? I mean, it's hormonal right?

I worry about this stuff...I used to play drums in a riot grrrl band back in the nineties and had a bunch of radical feminists for friends, so I got hipped to a lot of books and thinkers (bell hooks, Corin Tucker, Donna Dresch, Germaine Greer, etc.) I otherwise would have never given the time of day, and I was exposed to ideas, some of which were enlighteneing and fascinating and life-affirming, and some of which made me feel extrememly guilty. After a while I started contemplating castration to answer all the evils in the world imposed by patriarchy. Every time I had a sexual thought or salivated over an attractive woman, I felt terrible, but at the same time pissed off that I was being made to feel guilty over feelings I couldn't help but feel, i.e. wanting to have sex with an attractive female. As my circle of friends changed and I beagn hanging out with a more diverse group of people, including more guys (I still find women easier to make friends with.) and my feelings on the subject started shifting back to "normal," I guess you'd call it.

However, I still have problems with my wife because she wants me to be more aggressive in bed, and every time I act that way I remember interviews I read with Kathleen Hanna or some other woman where she'd talk about date rape and being objectified or something, and I feel uncomfortable playing that "aggressive" sexual partner, and I still feel icky about having a fetish which turns a woman from a breathing, thinking creaure into just a sex object, like a cheerleader fetish.

Wow, I just realized I wrote a really long paragraph! Yikes! Sorry for hijacking your thread...Anyways, I'd llike to hear what some DU women or men feel about this.

[short bus president]

7. yup, it's not a threadjacking

'til someone brings up self-castration.

;-)

I won't comment on the actual content of yer post, as I am an extreme wus.

[RandomKoolzip]

8. Oh, wait, I meant to say I had an exteme wus fetsh, too.

Exteme wusses make me all hot.

[Red State Rebel]

15. I think you had some bad influences....

There is a huge difference between being aggressive in bed to satisfy your partner and being an aggressive jerk. Mutual love and the fulfillment of that love thru sex means communicating. If she is asking you to be this way, how can it be wrong? Don't let some emasculating books ruin that for you.

[populistmom]

16. Supposed to be sleeping, but..

Familiar territory. I understand your wife's perspective- too well.
Being a feminist for me means appreciating all sides of myself- my brain, my heart, my soul, my mothering abilities, and yes, the sexual side of myself. For my partner to fully love and appreciate me, he needs to not be afraid to open himself up and be a part of that side of me. I think many of those radical extremes can brings important catalysts for changes in society, but it also does women a disservice by equating much of heterosexual sex with victimization against a woman.

I want a nice man, a sensitive man, a man who cares about the greater good in the world, but one who is not afraid or intimidated by my desires. Remember, sex is not disrespectful of someone. It's not something your'e doing TO her, it's fun and enjoy it. That's how it should be anyway. (And she sounds like she just might be into the cheerleader thing if you gave her a chance.)

[geniph]

31. What populist mom said!

She got it exactly right.

[Elidor]

18. Not to sound crass

But you need to buy her a cheerleader outfit, tell her to put her hair in a ponytail, and fuck her brains out. You'll both be happy. :)

Doing my part to spread good cheer and happiness...

[Fight_n_back]

6. Santorum

is nothing to be ashamed of!

[Guaranteed]

25. Rick Santorum? nt

[slinkerwink]

9. hey

I have a fetish for being...:spank:

[qwertyMike]

10. Turnips

[slinkerwink]

11. ????

what's the meaning of turnips?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

12. You mean your deal with the pocket pussy thingy?

:shrug:

[Feanorcurufinwe]

13. I agree.

[ForrestGump]

14. Here's MY fetish

And I bet it can beat yours up, any day of the week...

[7th_Sephiroth]

17. my ex girlfriend

had a fetish where she liked to be dominated, she thought it was the ultimate expression of love, to give ones self completely in both mind and body to the one you love

[darknemus]

21. Your ex-girlfriend is right

Well, at least in my opinion. To give myself to my partner as their submissive is, to me, pretty much the ultimate 'i exist for you' type of love. But, hey, to each their own.

There's also 1000+ different types of 'Domination' anyways. For me, its as much the mental game (if not more so) than the physical aspect. Besides, given my size, if I really wanted to, I could probably physically overpower just about any female I was going toe-to-toe with, so to speak. But I much prefer it the other way around, anyways :) - So its all good.

-darknemus

[7th_Sephiroth]

26. she was the

beat me whip me fuck me, force me to sign bad checks kind of g/f

[darknemus]

28. I've been with girls like that before..

Obviously, we weren't real compatible :) I've tried the 'switch' route, but it just doesn't work for me. I just look goofy trying to top someone (not that I don't look goofy, regardless.. but trust me, its worse if I'm wielding a flogger trying to look all stern and stuff)

-darknemus

[matcom]

19. i have a sex fetish

i LOVE sex :D

[Loonman]

20. Hot Karl?

LOL!

[Padraig18]

22. At the risk of being indelicate,...

... would rimming be considered a fetish? I happen to love taking the active role. :P

[darknemus]

23. given the broader definition of the word 'fetish' nowadays..

then yeah, rimming would probably fit right in, no pun intended. I take 'fetish' now to really mean more 'kink' than 'an inanimate object that provides sexual stimuli for the partaker'

I have a latex fetish, a leather fetish, a pvc fetish. However, my general 'kink' lies on the submissive side of the BDSM world. So, within that kink, there are like 10 gajillion different aspects - some of which I wouldn't touch with someone else's 20 foot pole if I were getting paid by the second. Then again, I'm sure I'm into some things that most people would steer quite clear from. Its all subjective :)

-darknemus

[Padraig18]

24. Whew!

A very functional definition! Thanks! :P

[darknemus]

30. Sorry for the late reply..

But no problem. Just seems the word 'fetish' is a bit more.. generic in its use anymore. Oh well, its all good.

-darknemus

[Richardo]

29. see parallel thread here....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=345540

[geniph]

32. What've you got against chains?

intolerant bastid!

[Blue-Jay]

33. I don't think that I have a fetish.

Although, I DO like a woman in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Only because I'm Scottish and appreciate a good tartan. Yeah. That's it.