i'm thinking of starting a "queering up camp"

[sniffa]

those brainwashing camps touted by the 'ex-gays' have been hitting the news a bunch LateLy (they seem to do that every 5 years or so) with the Latest being "Love in action" (ha! get it? Love inaction - repress those feeLings!).

i think it's time to be fair and baLanced and save aLL the straight kids.

[Cannikin]

1. If you recruit ten or more you get a FREE toaster

It says so in the Homosexual Agenda handbook

[sniffa]

5. that onLy goes for the femaLes

with maLes you get a beLt buckLe.

[Spinzonner]

2. I assume it will have an on-site boutique

[NuttyFluffers]

47. no need, the uniform is readily available. ambercrombie, amer eagle,

etc.

but you can buy the handicrafts we make, i'm sure.

you might be able to rent us for shows. you'll have to run that by the head camp counselor to see if we do weddings and bar mitzvahs.

[The Doctor.]

53. You know how to tell who the head counselor is... right?

[Beware the Beast Man]

3. Good idea.

Fundies are always claiming that gays are forcing their "lifestyles" upon them- let's call them on it!

[sniffa]

16. yeah, Let's jam it down their throats

Like jeb bush with a feeding tube. (ok, i know it was in the stomach)

[aeolian]

57. LOL! Is that your training technique? "Jam it down their throats?"

:rofl"

[asthmaticeog]

4. LOL!

"No gay son of mine is a not gay! You better get gay or I'll make you gay! Rodrigo, do what you do - go on, gay him up!"

[sniffa]

13. dad.......... i'm straight

*thud*

[terrya]

6. I'll volunteer to be a staff counsellor if you want.

It's time that we do indeed save those hetero kids from a life of conforming to some weird, twisted ideas of being "a man". Help those kids discover the joys of being gay. :-)

[sniffa]

10. we need dedicated converters

i knew i couLd count on you. :D

[terrya]

12. I just hope that us counsellors can wear some cute little uniforms.

:-)

[matcom]

7. will there be finger sandwiches?

i love finger sandwiches :9

[asthmaticeog]

8. Well, there'd better be finger *something*

[elperromagico]

9. What a good idea. Gay recruitment goals

were missed by nearly 25% last month.

[sniffa]

11. shhhhhh

don't reLease such info - it'LL onLy undermine the troupe's moraLe.

[elperromagico]

14. I think it's important that people know about this.

It may be necessary to start up the gay draft and you know what that means...

Cats... back on Broadway.

[sniffa]

15. ooh, cats

i couLd watch it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

[JimmyJazz]

18. You mean those gay teachers in our school system are falling

down on the job AGAIN????

I thought they were responsible for at least 15% of all new recruits :crazy:

[elperromagico]

21. Let me take this opportunity to also mention that liberal indoctrination

programs on college campuses are not meeting expectations either.

[asthmaticeog]

32. Alas, it's still just mostly gym teachers.

When the hell are they gonna roll out the queer math, already?

[Misunderestimator]

17. I humbly volunteer to be a counseler at your new camp.

:thumbsup:

[sniffa]

26. exceLLant

but you can't be humbLe around the kids. they need brash, Leadership.

[Misunderestimator]

29. Oh, the humble part was just to suck you in...

I don't do humble too well. :) Bring 'em on!!

[meegbear]

19. I'll lend a hand ...

anything to save today's youth from the radical heterosexual lifestyle.

[sniffa]

23. thank you

the camp is coming aLong niceLy.

[jonnyblitz]

35. all that breeding. nt

[StopTheMorans]

20. i got called a "metrosexual" in kentucky last november when I was

visiting my brother at UK; I guess that counts for something :shrug: is there a place for me at this camp?

[sniffa]

22. you can be the transitionaL counseLor

they have to go metro first.

[StopTheMorans]

24. sweet; i'm tired of these hordes of women throwing themselves at me

queer camp here i come!

[Misunderestimator]

30. LOL

:rofl:

[BlondieK143]

25. Hmmm...

Can I be Head of Activities? :D

[sniffa]

27. you're not quite quaLified for that position

no one has grabbed the arts & crafts center though.

[BlondieK143]

28. Ouch.

Fine, fine. Glitter and rhinestones here I come.

[jonnyblitz]

31. you could pitch some tents by that stream beneath the balcony.

good idea! free hotdogs etc. just like at Rudy's. :hi:

[sniffa]

33. *snort*

oh, so many angLes i couLd take on that. :hi:

[dolo amber]

34. Oooh, can I teach Disco?

:D :bounce:

(The advanced kids can move right into House. ;))

[derby378]

40. Aw, heck - put me in the Trance section

From there I can move on into Hardcore.

[sniffa]

42. hardcore at camp, is aLways happy hardcore

[NuttyFluffers]

46. with LOTS of day glo candy

and random things to suck on.










sick bastards. things like pacifiers dammit. that's what we're calling them nowadays and i'm sticking to it.

[jonnyblitz]

50. happy hardcore # 7 hopefully

[sniffa]

51. i have the orange one

no idea which # it is.

[jonnyblitz]

52. number #2 maybe

[sundog]

45. which, of course, will be overseen by me

:P

[Trigger Hippie]

36. I wanna be

a fabulous gay guy. What can your camp do for me? :)

:shrug:

[NuttyFluffers]

43. shoot higher. try to be ginormously fabulastic, with flames!

... we're gonna need a speech therapy class. and a class on imagination. illussssionsss of grandeur, sssissster, and ssswing that sssybyllant 'esss' like you're knockin' ssstuff off the coffee table with it!

[Midlodemocrat]

37. Ooh, Can I join?

I can play the piano! I could be in charge of theatre and drama!!! Please?????

[NuttyFluffers]

48. sniffa, answer the poor thing!

who else will play wagner on my down time so that i may strut around in my leather stilleto knee highs and riding crop!?

[sniffa]

49. there might be quite a demand for that roLe

you may have to share and be co-theater head.

[MountainLaurel]

38. You'll get great business if there's a draft

Parents will be lining up to send off their sons to gay camp.

[sniffa]

66. even the parents

whose deepLy heLd reLigious beLiefs are against it?

[MountainLaurel]

73. Well, some of them

Most would be to appalled to have even a fictitiously gay child, but you can bet there'd me some mamas who wouldn't care as long as their child didn't have to die to line Dick Cheney's pockets.

[NuttyFluffers]

39. can i be in charge of... discipline?

i'll bring my own toys... er... "correctional equipment."

... and no tasers, that's just artless, dangerous, and, well, too fast.

need a resume'? interview?

i do work well with others -- under my command.

[sniffa]

41. that position is yours

matcom has voLunteered to serve under you. :o

[NuttyFluffers]

44. And shall serve well

...with pleasure.

[ronnykmarshall]

54. I'll teach Gay History 101

Q. Ok class, what was the name of Barbra Striesand's first broadway play?

Little Billy (who is a total ass kisser know it all): Oh please, that's easy. Hello? It was "Funny Girl".

I march over to he desk and slap that smug smirk off his face. Screaming at the top my lungs I SLAM the Playbill on his desk "It was 'I Can Get It For you WHOLESALE'!!!!!!!!!!"

[sniffa]

63. ooh, a discipLinarian

where's that whipping smiLie. :whip:

[48pan]

55. I'm trying to picture this in my mind...

It's not a pretty thought. Sort of like "Queer Eye meets NASCAR"

Very ugly.

[NuttyFluffers]

83. daisy dukes and front knotted flannel

though with all that exposed skin there's increased danger of chiggers. we'll have to have camp sessions where we all rub each other down with repellant.

[swimboy]

56. Gay Camp

I want to help. Do you need someone to teach the poor things how to live in a city and fix up houses?

[sniffa]

64. wiLL this make them gay, or more gay?

even a tiny bit? then yes. :thumbsup:

[Guy Fawkes]

58. Can I teach interior design!?

[sniffa]

67. onLy for the teens who have been coming for years

that's reaLLy an upper-LeveL course. not just any ex-straight can master it.

[uppityperson]

59. Came I come? I'll teach belly dancing

veil dancing for the male guys, swords for the female guys

pleeeze?

[sniffa]

68. great idea!

a generaL eLective course.

[uppityperson]

74. Like this? golly thanks.

Fluffy, gotta be fluffy.

[NuttyFluffers]

84. mmm, swords...

yes, i agree, gotta be fluffy

[Beetwasher]

60. There is NO NEED FOR A CAMP!!!

There's already a gay ray gun that takes care of it.

ZAP!!! You're gay!

[swimboy]

62. I forgot about the ray gun! Let's get 'em! n/t

[sniffa]

65. reagan was gay?

who knew?

[xmas74]

61. I was informed yesterday that I could not be hetero

since I complimented a woman. Can I assist?

[sniffa]

69. you are needed

we need the girLs to have their seLf esteem raised.

[xmas74]

72. Coola!

[Kathy in Cambridge]

70. My course will be '"Straight Eye for the Gay Guy"

Some things included in the course:
The appropriate occasions for a tiara

Sorry, Mary, the '70s are over. No wifebeater Ts allowed.

Cutoff shorts and engineer boots are not a fashion statement

Just because you love Judy doesn't mean you can look like her in a dress

Bears: how hairy is too hairy?

[sniffa]

75. how hairy is too hairy

:rofl:

phiLosophy course?

[Guy Fawkes]

71. That's one camp that wont be "campy"...

or gouche.

[name not needed]

76. I'm straight.

Can I be the guy that screams at them when they get off the bus?

[JohnKleeb]

77. You mean like a drill sergeant/R Lee Armey type?

Damn if you get that, I wanna be the guy who pretends to be a girl so he can get the girls.

[name not needed]

78. YES, you filthy straight pile of dogshit!

:D

[sniffa]

79. that's soooo hedges

[name not needed]

80. You sicken me.

I bet you couldn't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

[JohnKleeb]

81. Score

Now the ultimate question, should i keep my natural dark brown hair or go blonde for summer? Oooh it is gonna be so fun to be at the girls camp, those guys are gonna be sooooo jealous.

[NuttyFluffers]

85. definitely highlights

and not the ones for children either.

and honey, it's ALL 'girls' at camp! *snap* /magically materializing spray of glitter

[JohnKleeb]

90. I like the sound of that

[Bouncy Ball]

82. Can I go?

[sniffa]

86. no

just kidding. you can come too. :)

[Bouncy Ball]

87. Yay!

I want a toaster!

[lumberingbear]

88. Can I teach.......

the Furniture Arranging Class???

[Fleshdancer]

89. May I coordinate the Last Night at Camp Dance?

There is SO much to be done! We need a theme, decorations, refreshments, etc. *sigh* Hey, can the kids from the decorating courses help with this event?

This camp will require oodles of funding. I propose we host a fundraiser fashion show! We owe it to the kids.