My encounter with a Freeper in Reno, Nevada.

[Beware the Beast Man]

Recently I went to Nevada on business, when I had the worst encounter with a Repuke Freeper I ever had. This jerk with all his pro-war bumper stickers cut me off in traffic. When we came to the red light, I pulled him out of the car and cursed him out. We engaged in fisticuffs.

Mind you, growing up, my mother was a major advocate of gun control. When I was just a baby, my mother told me, "Son, always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns." Anyway, I shot the Freeper, just to watch him die. I haven't told anyone until now.

As that train keeps a movin, I hang my head and cry...

[sinkingfeeling]

1. Are you the boy named Sue?

[terrya]

2. At least you weren't sent to Folsom Prison.

where time keeps draggin' on.

[chickenscratching]

3. Damn-you should have been there friday night

we roasted a freeper on a spit and before we "dug in", I solemnly took out his heart, like Indiana Jones style and bullwhiped it into my mouth.

[Donkeyboy75]

4. I hate to tell you this, but

you're going down in a serious ring of fire, my friend.

[Beware the Beast Man]

5. My daddy told me not to take my guns to town.

He said, "Leave them guns at home, Bill."

[mike_c]

6. that's nothing, dude....

Couple of months ago a freeper came to my door soliciting my support for Arnold Schwarzenegger's budget reform plan and my signature on a petition for the special election. I took him to task for his stupid devotion to economic models that enrich the wealthy on the backs of the working poor and middle class, whereupon we exchanged increasingly disgusting epithets, and ultimately, body blows.

When the chaos of the moment settled, we were both covered in blood. Much of the furntiture was broken, but the freeper was unconscious and I stood triumphant. He was still very much alive. I dragged him down into the basement where I keep a Romulan pain machine for just this sort of contingency. He regained consciousness when the stimulants hit his system, yessiree Bob! Once all the wires and tubes were attached he wasn't asking for signatures anymore! He was pleading for mercy in that annoying freeper whine that really grits my teeth and sets my blood boiling.

I ramped the pain machine up slowly so the neighbors could get used to the noise, at least until his vocal cords gave out, hehe. I'm getting better at this-- the last freeper I put on the machine only lasted two days, but this one "rode the beast" for over a week, and might have gone longer but I finally put him down so we could have a Cub Scout meeting in the rec room.

Freepers-- they're not just for fertilizer anymore!

[El Fuego]

7. I shot the Freeper..

But I did not shoot the deputy. No No.

[Beware the Beast Man]

8. Freeper Rim Job always hated me,

for what, I don't know...

[leftofthedial]

9. How high's the water, mama?