Just uncovered: Jesus' Best Man Speech!

[northzax]

Jesus Christ
SAMARIA, A.D. 24

Hello, my people! Looking around tonight, I see a lot of guests very close to Luke—and a lot of bridesmaids I wish I was very close to! C'mon, guys, it's a joke—but, off the record, I'm staying in a manger just outside the village, third stall from the left. When my best friend told me he was marrying my ex, I had two reactions. First, I was happy Luke was finally settling down after years of wandering around and spreading my word—and a few legs in the process! Calm down, calm down. Second, the poor sap has no idea what he's getting into! OK, so I knew Mary was a bit clingy, but I could never really forgive her for her, ahem, past sins. Still, if anyone can handle Mags, it's Luke—he's a better man than I. Well, that's not true, but he's a pretty good guy. So I said to him, "You may have my blessings—and my earplugs, 'cause she's a talker!" I ask you all to hoist your goblets of water—I'll turn them into wine in a sec—and drink to the beautiful couple. I give them six months.

from http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/6/9wayne.html">McSweeney's of course. Follow the link for Ghandi, MLK and others...

[Dogmudgeon]

1. Oh, good God

I hope he didn't tell that awful fart joke about the Samaritan hooker. Although I have to admit the Yiddish is a cute touch.

--p!