What do you do when someone on DU gets really nasty with you?

[redacted]

Please. I'd appreciate knowing what others do.

Edited for typo.

[MuseRider]

1. Alert.

Alert on them, bottom left of the post. Now that is only if it breaks the rules. Otherwise you can try to hash it out. Sometimes the best way is to let it cool off then send a PM.

Edit for spelling

[medeak]

13. Muserider was sweet to give me a pm when picked on as a newbie

More people should do that..

Who and what happened? grrr!

[MuseRider]

19. I have not seen you

for ages! I must be in different places than you are. How in the heck are you? I was afraid you were gone but now I see you are still here but I never see you post. Of course, if I were not so lazy I could have searched. My bad. Anyway, what's up? If you feel like catching up PM me when you feel like it. I am out of here much of the next few days. I will PM when I return.

[medeak]

22. son flew to London today!

will be there five years for grad school. that's my big news. know we share terrific kids. :-)

[MuseRider]

29. That is huge news!

Congratulations but I'll bet that was a tough one. My kids are still close enough that I get to see them a lot. My time is coming for them to leave for more distant places. :hug: Still, it is great that he is doing that and you will get to go visit!

[redacted]

24. I'll PM it to you -- don't want to draw attention to him.

While I'm being newbie-ish --where does everyone get those golden retiver icons -- looks just like my Sarah-bear.

[Jara sang]

2. Post a thread, like you did.

No, seriously, I try to let it slide, unless it is a blatant personal attack, then I hit Alert.

[autorank]

8. ...and call the Saga City SWAT team to administer the appropriate

punishment :spank:

[autorank]

3. TYPE THEM AN ANGRY RESPONSE IN ALL CAPS USING LOTS...

...OF OBSCENITIES:rofl:

Well, if that doesn't work, you can either ignore it, go through a reasoned response including noting the nastiness or, in the case of slander, do an ALERT. That does happen on very rare occasion and should be dealt with by the MODS. They're very good at cleaning up after this stuff.

The one thing you shouldn't do is take it personally (especially if the other user is a "sock puppet" (just kidding). It's probably more about the "nasty one's" mood at the time, than you.

Good luck.

[redacted]

14. Definitely Not having Anything to Do with me.

Totally went off and misinterpreted my 3 word post and posted a rant calling names.

And then when I called him on it -- let him know firmly that he was misinterpreting and being rude -- wooooo -- it would never occur to me to call someone those things.

I will alert and if he bugs me -- block. Thanks for advice. He'll prob read this, know it's about him somehow -- magically -- or at least assume so and I'll get hate notes or some such.

I did not take it personally -- it was too extreme to take personally. (I don't even take things Mr. Redacted says personally, I'm just even keeled.)

Thanx.

Edited: cuz I type like an idiot.

[autorank]

17. Good luck....

...this stuff happens every now and then. The counter balance is all the fun and learning that goes on in between.

[redacted]

27. Raiders -- oh local one, how will they do this year?

Had a neighbor would keep me up on it -- he's gone now.

Clients sometimes wanna talk football and I just stare blankly without advice.

Thanks for the advice.

[autorank]

32. Sap will threaten Moss in to team plan, they will all stay on their meds,

and there is an excellent chance for a return to glory.

Every year they fail, I get a case of FRD, "F'ing Raiders Depression." This comes at the point of either a clearly bad season, like last year, or an early exit from the playoffs. It lasts for 2 weeks and I'm disconsolate, useless (more so than normal) to society, and generally miserable to be around.

I pray for a great season!

[Warren Stupidity]

4. put them on ignore and take a break eom

[redacted]

5. Definitely All of the Above.

What do the admins do? I mean am I going to get more nasty messages for alerting.

[Plaid Adder]

6. If it's getting ad hominem, alert the moderators.

If it's borderline, basically what I try to do is defend myself once and then let it go. Half the time people who do this are really just looking for attention or to see how much shit they can stir up, and by refusing to be drawn in you frustrate them.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[lenidog]

7. I usually ignore it

and go to another thread or post to someone else on the thread. I am pretty thick skinned about that kinda thing. I used to post and troll on the Yahoo boards and saw some serious shitty behavior there. I never seen anything close to that here. Now if I see them attacking someone else then I will report it.

[Left Is Write]

9. I stop communicating with them.

If someone is being belligerent, baiting, or just plain nasty or assholish, I leave the thread. I don't like beating my head against a brick wall, and I don't like wallowing in unnecessary negativity. This is especially true if the other person has no interest whatsoever in a point of view other than his or her own.

If the person continues to behave that way in other threads, either to me or to others, I slap 'em on ignore.

[Redstone]

10. Stand up and fight is what I do.

Alert to the mods if they're outside the bounds of the rules, but otherwise, go mano a mano.

But that's just me; I'm not recommending or advising that you do the same.

Although I never carry a fight onto the Private Message space; I just feel that PMs are NOT a suitable venue for flameage.

And I will say that PMs can be used to settle arguments; I had a vicious fight with someone in the forums the other night, and he was gracious enough to send me a PM offering an olive branch, to which I replied with an apology of my own for the tone I had used when addressing him, and we sorted things out like like adults, and shook hands, so to speak.

Try to find common ground if you can, is my advice. If you can't, then by all means stand up for yourself and don't take any gratuitous crap from anyone.

Redstone

[jeff30997]

11. Go in my bedroom and cry like a baby.

Seriously,after over one year on DU I never clicked on alert a single time(If it's serious the others are quicker than me anyway).My first reaction is to fight back by being so sarcastic than even Buddha would loose his temper.But usually I ignore the aggressive posters thinking that they must have a really crappy life.

[qnr]

12. Or, giving the benefit of the doubt, they're having a crappy day n/t

[jeff30997]

16. How dare you correct me motherfucker !!! ASSHOLE !!!

Just kidding.;-)

[redacted]

18. LMAO -- I love The Lounge.

[qnr]

21. .--././.-/-.-./. ---/..-/- so there!

:evil grin:

[flvegan]

15. Use factual argument to assist them in understanding my point.

If they continue to be nasty, solely for reasons based in ego, destroy their basis of theory whilst making them look silly at the same time.

[jeff30997]

20. You're really cruel.

I like it.:evilgrin:

[friesianrider]

23. I got JUMPED on when I was a newbie.

I had like 25 posts and Kerry made a statement about Iraq - and anyway, for lack of a better word it SOUNDED like a "flip-flop" and I was mad because he seemed to be saying exactly what he shouldn't. I posted that, and got totally jumped on for being a freeptard and nearly got myself banned. I was in shock, but a lot of people who knew me came to my defense. Just let it go, unless it gets really personal, then just hit alert. Just remember sometimes people have other stuff going on in their lives and may say some uncharacteristically (sp?) nasty things.

[qnr]

28. You friggin' IDIOT. Don't use (sp?) you've got a spelling checker!!!!

Er, just kidding :)

BTW, just for info, friggin' (sp?) isn't in the spelling checker.

[friesianrider]

30. LOL...oops!

Yeah um...brain fart on that one...no excuses. Sorry :( *red face*

[hyphenate]

25. Noone's ever gotten snarky with me

But on another board when they have, I've gotten mad enough to hurl it right back in their pukish faces. :)

[FizzFuzz]

26. best case scenario: I try not to get sucked into the smokescreening

and call them on their personal behavior. (usually, if someone is getting nasty with you, they will be smokescreening. using some issue to use as an excuse to attack).

And I try not to go on and on about it. Just a couple of times. If they can't respond like an adult, with some evidence of admitting their part in the problem, then I don't bother any further.

Try not to get sucked into the crap itself they're trying to throw, but question them on the throwing.

[JanMichael]

31. It's been rare here for that to happen to me.

However if someone was threatening I'd hit the alert button and insist on a desist.

And perhaps an apology if it was really nasty.

[uppityperson]

33. Try to not get snarky back. Ignore if need be.

If it is personal, hit alert, otherwise it is ok to just not answer. Ask "why are you being so nasty?" as perhaps they are just typing in the heat of the moment without engaging their minds.

Some people argue merely for the sake of arguing and argumentive people get really upset when you won't argue back. It is ok to not answer nasty stuff.

[Floogeldy]

34. First, you should reconsider your post(s).

You may have typed something REALLY stupid, justifying the nasty responses.

B-)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

35. tickle them

It works with my kids...