"Sen. Frist, it burns when I pee, does that mean I have pink eye?"

[politicaholic]

"Yes it does...next question."

[Kraklen]

1. My anus is bleeding.

What should I do about that?

[politicaholic]

3. "Stop smoking and leeches...lots of leeches."

[Sanity Claws]

2. He needs a video to do a diagnosis.

Please pee into the camera.

[Elidor]

4. Can you examine my stools?

No one has read my piles in years. I'm sending a 3-hour videotape. Please keep it with my file.

[Kat45]

5. Why does it hurt when I pee?

Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don?t want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
?n? grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

[NNadir]

6. You need a heart transplant.

Unfortunately we don't have hearts here in the Senate, so we can't help you.

Please take your problem somewhere the fuck else, unless of course, you can connect the issue with Jesus or with a dysfunctional brain (we like dysfunctional brains).

Best regards,
Bill F.
"That's Doctor Bill to you."