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How do YOU feel about being a MAN?

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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:13 PM
Original message
How do YOU feel about being a MAN?
I mean, you know?

Do you feel lucky, or like you got ripped off?

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Or does it depend on mitigating circumstances?
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neuvocat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. Ok, just what exactly brought this up?
I think that there are advantages and disadvantages both to being a man. You take what you're given.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Are you avoiding the question?
How manly is that? :P
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neuvocat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:20 PM
Response to Reply #3
40. LOL
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:19 PM
Response to Original message
2. I feel great about it!
I don't think I would want to be a woman.

B-)
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm cool with it
but when I was 16-19 I had a "hard" time of it, if you know what I mean. ;)
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salin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
5. no idea
given that the only place I have ever been thought to be a man, has been DU. (genderless nic and all) :D So in those cases where one addresses me as a man it "feels" rather humorous.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #5
35. I've been addressed as or referred to as a man here on DU too.
Again, the genderless nick thing, I suppose.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #35
41. So you in fact could have some perspective on this.
How did you feel when that happened?

Were you insulted?
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #41
43. No. I just assumed they didn't check my profile and
hadn't read very many of my posts, or hadn't seen my pictures.

I suppose I could have felt insulted that the male gender seemed to be the default, but I'm not.
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:25 PM
Response to Original message
6. Hairy, and a little gassy
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:26 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Yes. And, for me, the hair is increasing.
Constantly.

If it wasn't for those mitigating circumstances, I'd start feeling a little pissed off.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
8. Hmm, I Believe I May Have A Unique Perspective On This
I am a male-to-female transsexual, nearly 3 years post-op now.

I was born male, anatomically, anyway.
But I never FELT male...never wanted to be male...never felt all those things everyone said I was supposed to feel.

All I ever felt was an alien in my own body, and I felt bound and shackled by chains of expectancy that were forged by men before me, and placed on me, without my agreement.

By dint of being born male, I was expected to wear these shackles of expectancy, and I saw the chains, I felt them, and I hated them. Men were never supposed to cry...never were allowed to show fear or weakness...always had to project confidence, but never actually got to FEEL confidence, because men inherently are brought up to doubt and question themselves...and constantly have to "test" their "manliness" in many unfriendly arenas.

OTOH, there are a certain set of societal expectancies that women are supposed to adhere to, that I find equally objectionable...that we never assert ourselves, we are not supposed to be ambitious...that we are always weak, and giving...that we never are supposed to be selfish...

As such, though I am now female, I did not exchange one set of chains merely to adopt a different set of chains. My goal and idea, all along, was to throw off all chains, and all expectancy, and just be who the hell, and what the hell, I wanted to be.

Thus it is that I tend to present a very androgynous appearance, and I take what is best of both sexes, and incorporate them into my own self...and I leave that which is undesireable of both.

since I am asexual, anyway, meaning I do not have a sex drive of any kind, period, it does not bother me to be the way I am...I've no real desire for a mate, male or female. I suppose if I did have one, it would have to be a guy, because the idea of lesbian relations just doesn't work for me. Then again, neither does anything else...but at least I can see myself with a guy...although it would be a sort of..."Well, okay...if it'll make you happy, I'll do it...but I'm not gonna get any pleasure out of this..."

Anyway, I hated being a guy because it was so socially restrictive...there were so many things you just weren't allowed to do...then, of course, I figured out, during my transition period...there were a lot of social restrictions on females, too...and I found those restrictions to be equally unacceptable.

I have now found my way to a place where I can be free...and I can be me. and I'm very happy I did.

That is my unique perspective.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. That is an OUTSTANDING perspective.
That's wisdom. You said it all.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Glad your happy with who you are!
Edited on Fri Jun-17-05 10:47 PM by Maestro
I am fascinated by people who make this change. To me it takes a ton of courage and personally, I am not sure, if I were in the same circumstances, be able. However, good for you! And I wish you continued happiness. Being a guy can certainly be a bitch. Really, it can. I am not sure women understand this.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Some do.
Some don't.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #11
20. Don't get me wrong
I would never change. I love being a guy. I was born to be a guy. Nevertheless, I just couldn't imagine the courage it would take to recognize that one is in the wrong body. Wow! Incredible!
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #20
25. Again...I Just Don't See It That Way
As you see below...I just don't see something I did for survival...as being "courageous."

I do understand why you may think so...and, certainly, I have been hassled and harrassed enough, by some shollw-minded members of society over what I've done...but I have stood tall and proud...unapologetic of what I have done.

If anyone does have a problem with what I have done, then guess which one has the problem?? THEY do!! And I am damned well not going to LET them make it my problem.

Their hangups are their problem.

Certainly, there are times where it has negatively impacted me...i'm quite sure I have lost several jobs...and not gotten hired in the first place at a lot of other jobs...for no better reason than the fact of my transsexualism. Not fair...not right...but, then again, I have to believe that if someone has THAT much a problem with who I am...that probably isn't who I want to work for, anyway.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. Thanks
and this is one woman who CAN and DOES understand what a bitch it can be to be a man. Especially the level of societal expectations y'all have to shoulder. As you can tell from my posting above, I've a pretty good insight into it.

Maleness was a world I rejected as being to restrictive, and too confining. for the most part, being a woman is a lot freer than being a man. But women have their own restrictions, as I said. I decided to reject those restrictions I found objectionable.

Many people say that what I have done is brave. I don't really see it that way. I just did what I had to do, in order to live a healthy, happy, and productive life. For me, it got to a point where it was "Live as a woman, or die as a man." I chose to live.

That was the only "choice" I made. And it was purely survival...so I do not see it as bravery.

Although, my experiences have given me a unique perspective on humanity in general...and the shallowness of many in our society, who place an inordinate amount of value on what you have or do not have between your legs...or on your chest, for that matter!

It is one of the main reasons I love animals so much now. Because animals don't give a crap about superficial bullshit like gender. they love you because you are who you are...and you care for them...they love you, and don't give a hoot about the details.

That is why I am sincerely hoping I get the job I interviewed for today...it is working at a kennel. I would love to be taking care of dogs all day! They never forget to say "thank you" when you do something for them...and they don't care about the things that really oughta not matter.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #15
22. And to that reply,
I add the only "bitch" that I love to the thread.

Isn't she regal?
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. She Sure Is!!
regal, I mean!

I LOVE dogs!!

If I could, I would win the lottery, be set for life...and then spend the rest of my life caring for dogs. I'd open up a no-kill shelter, and that is what I'd do with the rest of my life. It wouldn't even have to be a profitable venture. Just the caring for dogs would be all the profit I would want.

And the kisses of thanks from all the dogs. I love 'em all! small, big, tall, short, fat, thin...I love all dogs!
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #8
34. Thank you for sharing your perspective with us.
I appreciate your telling your story.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
12. actually...I feel a little odd....
being a woman and all...I think I'm in the wrong thread. ;)
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I don't mind if you peep.
:P
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. I will not tell a soul of what I saw during my stay here.
;)
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Kenneth ken Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:33 PM
Response to Original message
13. ambivalent
I do feel lucky.

Lucky that I can go out late at night and not worry about being raped; fortunate I can go into a bar, have a drink or two and not get hit on by half the patrons, nor cursed at for dismissing same.

Lucky that I don't get treated as unknowledgeable in repair shops, hardware stores, etc; nor ignored because I may not be seen as pretty enough to treat with courtesy and respect.

Embarrassed because I recognize this is all a reality women have to face on a regular basis, and that it is men who inflict this crap on women.



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brainshrub Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
14. I like it.
I don't feel lucky, per se, but I don't feel unlucky either. I suppose it would be a bit silly to be to proud about something I had nothing to do with.

I'm happy I'm a man and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Advantages:
  1. Standing up to pee.
  2. Shaving my face in the mornings.
  3. Not having to have monthly cycles.

Disadvantages
  1. It's harder to make close friends, especially as you get older.
  2. It sucks to get hit between the legs.
  3. Women assume we are all pigs.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. Advantages/Disadvantages Of Womanhood
Advantages:
1. Not having to tie a noose around our necks every morning.
2. Not having to shave our faces every morning, and go to work with little cuts all over our faces.
3. Makeup magic!! A little blemish? A little pimple? A little dark circle around the eyes? Makeup magic takes care of it all!!

Disadvantages:
1. Long fucking lines for the restroom!
2. Not being able to just whip it out and piss anywhere you need to (this is especially disavantageous for women on long car trips - why the HELL they don't make more REST AREAS...)
3. Sucks to get hit in the chest!
4. Pantyhose!
5. Being treated as though you are not intelligent, especially at the auto-parts store...or mechanic shop.
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BreweryYardRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:43 PM
Response to Original message
18. I like it just fine.
We can have sex with either gender and not need any devices beyond a condom and (depending on who we're sleeping with) a bottle of lube.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
21. My feelings are my own goddamned business. Quit prying!

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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #21
29. Alright. We'll limit the conversation to the size and cost of
car batteries. ;)
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. Speaking of car batteries and masculinity.
When I went back to return the old battery and the wrench, the guy who had sold it to me was out in the parking lot having a smoke break. So as I'm saying thanks for letting me borrow the wrench and not making me pay a deposit for the battery, this guy finishes a cigarette and reaches for another one (I guess he likes to get a few in during his break). Strangely enough, the brand that the man was smoking was Misty 120's
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. LOL I shit you not
I smoked two Misty's today at work.

Not 120's...BUT they WERE Ultra-lights.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Did you have a refreshing, empowering and carefree smoking experience?
:-)
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. Well, I had to bum 'em...
off a WOMAN.

<ominous music>

But, yes. I was in Flavor Country.

They were menthols, too.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #39
42. Coincidentally Enough
I smoke Misty Menthol Lights 120's as my regular brand....
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Bat Boy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
24. I'm cool with it.
Being male has given me an easier road than I would have had if I were female. And I'm white, so by comparison it's been smooth sailing.

The only thing I dislike is how men are raised in this country. We train them poorly in my estimation. We have a fairly distorted view of what men should and shouldn't be.
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
26. funny, i was thinking about this today while in the bathroom
and it came to me....pissing while standing up > ANY facets of the female gender
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. That Is Highly Over-rated
The whole pissing while standing up thing is highly over-rated. I don't miss it.

Except, as I said earlier, when I'm on a long road trip, gotta piss real bad, and I pass a sign that says, "Next Rest Area 90 miles!!"

That and writing your name in the snow.

Other than that, peeing while standing up is highly over-rated.

I know...once upon a time I could do it.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. > not being able to get kicked in the nuts?
I dunno bout that...

Advantages and disadvantages....
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
27. I am over it.
I do not give a shit about it. Not at all.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
31. I have no idea, because I'm a woman.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Hmmmm. From a man's perspective,
that's different. :)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-17-05 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
37. Well, pretty good, actually, especially given that
I dont' have a hell of a lot of choice in the matter.

Redstone
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