"Our lips met like a head on collision between a ferrari & a diesel truck"

[mopaul]

...i'm working on a love novel, trying to come up with some literary zingers...

"and when they could bear the distance between their breathless bodies no longer, they fell into an embrace like two birds plummeting from the stratospheric heights of unbridled passion, crashing through cumulus clouds blindly toward the unforgiving earth below their trembling feet"

i know it needs a little work, but whataya think? pretty snappy huh? i'd like to see you do better anyways.

[teach1st]

1. It hits me hard...

...like an ill-tuned player piano tossed from an third story window.

[mopaul]

29. b flat augmented was the note it sang as it kissed the pavement

tossing black and white ivory keys across the backdrop of the city of broken promises at dusk. the hoary clouds of despair rolled in on little cat feet.

[skygazer]

2. You need something about his throbbing rod

And her eager love canal. Read some Harold Robbins - you can get some good pointers there.

[mopaul]

3. too coarse for my tales of ribaldry

i only want to titillate, not copulate

[datasuspect]

10. "he provoked my femininity

and drew fast the dew droplets from my love thatch.

whereupon, he unsheathed his glorious manroot and plowshared into the rut of my passion"

[Hugin]

4. That's so May...

Us June people are now using more precise comparisons...

"Our Chapstick(tm) glazed lips met like a head on collision between a red Ferrari and a Mack truck"...

Do you see the distinction? It also lends itself to "product placement".

[mopaul]

6. "Not so fast tiger" she purred, "I'd like another Bacardi & Coke"

"I'll get them you sexy beast", he growled as she lit up two gleaming Marlboro non filters drawing deeply and sharply into her lugubrious lungs.

[Orsino]

5. "Our lips met like...

...two pairs of lumbering tanker trucks racing into a four-way Tikriti intersection, desperate to make an artificial deadline imposed by Halliburton, one of the world's largest providers of products and services to the oil and gas industries."

[mopaul]

8. "cover me in black, sweet crude at $58.00 a barrel dick, you bad man"

dick knew that when it came to light sweet crude, she was simply insaitable, and always ready.

[nytemare]

7. Our lips met like the tires of an AMC Gremlin and a hydraulic lift!

How about that??

LOL.

[mopaul]

9. very visual

and oddly stimulating

[nytemare]

13. Must have been the use of the word "hydraulic"

:)

[phaseolus]

11. Chandleresque...

I like it

[Atlas Mugged]

12. This sounds like a "Fake Hemmingway" discussion

I love the "Fake Hemmingway" book. The one that really stuck with me was this:

He sat down like a man; only more so.

And, yes, you're doing very well.

[mopaul]

14. perhaps this photo will help the story line along

it's always best to have an image of the passionate couple to work off of.

[Baclava]

15. "She let the silk blouse fall from her shoulders...

...wrapped her left leg around her lover and deftly cut some cheese.

"Miss, is there room for both of us in that hoop skirt? He mocked with a slight bow and a sweep of his top hat."

[TrogL]

16. We kissed.

Less is more.

[Baclava]

17. "It was a dark and horny night..."

Very poetic.

[Baclava]

18. "The passion burned like the inner bowels of a volcano ...

...and their nights of love were creamier that a hot fudge sunday in the steamy Florida sun."

[mopaul]

22. "Oh God!" she shrieked, like a wounded harpy eagle

"Oh God!", he echoed, beast-like toward the uncaring stars, his eyes like two smoldering vienna sausages.

[mopaul]

19. like two rabid wombats they struggled sweatily for what seemed like

milleniums piled on top of eons. the world around them melted away into the white blinding heat of the summer night as tiny purple fishes ran laughing through their fingers.

[Baclava]

20. "The sex was as rough as a new piece of sandpaper...

...cheeks flushed, and eyes flashing, though not so much like lightening flashing as like a spark of static electricity from touching a fluffy cat after shuffling across plush carpet in a cold, dark room."

[giant_robot]

21. Berserker!

My love for you is like a truck, Berserker
Would you like some making f**k, Berserker
My love for you is like a rock, Berserker

The Berserker is just so obscene
Likes evil people you know what I mean
He takes your soul and then just rips you apart
He'll steal your heart

Would you like to smoke some pot, Berserker
My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker
Would you like to suck my c**k, Berserker
Would you like some making f**k, Berserker

That's beautiful, man!

[Bok_Tukalo]

23. "She had a body that reminded men why marraige was invented ...

and a mouth that gave them insight into the wisdom of divorce."

[Bok_Tukalo]

25. 'Is this seat taken?" I asked.

"For about the next five minutes it is," she replied. "After that, it will be empty again until another penis drags its useless anchor up here to sit it in."

[Bok_Tukalo]

26. I fell instantly and hopelessly in love.

"Enjoy it while you can, and I can see by your attire that you do. But take it from me, gravity never loses."

[mopaul]

27. his sudden disinterest & icy, distant stare caught her off guard again

and she sobbed, childlike, as she sat on the commode like a hen sitting on a golden egg, her mascara running down her once happy face like tammy faye. "Well", she snapped ubiquitously, "I suppose now you'll tell everybody you got your trophy on the wall and toss me aside like some cheap plaything, again".

[Bok_Tukalo]

32. When she said trophy, I thought of my ex father-in-law and den walls

covered in the results stuffed decapitated carcasses; discarding the best part of the beast in favor of only what would stroke his insecure vanity.

Maybe she was right and what I thought was love was only a pathetic attempt to bolster my own swiss cheese ego with another set of legs crying in my bathroom mirror while she waits on the cab that will take her back to the one room flat and the well of her cynicism dug just a little deeper.

[Sugar Smack]

33. .

:loveya:

I can't help it.

[mopaul]

24. "Why can't this moment last forever"? , she cooed, into his armpit

"dames, go figger" he thought to himself.

[Baclava]

38. "She lay next to him that night...

...knowing she had done nothing wrong but feeling vaguely unclean, like freshly washed, once-folded laundry that has been shoved off the bed onto the floor and slept on by the dog."

[flvegan]

28. "My hands explored her every nook and cranny, like butter melting over

a Thomas' English Muffin.

[mopaul]

30. "Olaf"! she cried out, but his name was actually Brian

but he forgave her, because he himself was thinking of another, but he musn't think of her now, not here, musn't think of that long blonde hair, flowing down her back, and none on her head.

[Baclava]

36. "Alas...

...although she could believe the brassiere she had found was from a mix-up at the laundromat, that the lipstick on his collar really had been from a cramped elevator, that the stiletto heel was indeed something the cat dragged in, when she pulled Chloe's unmistakable prosthetic arm from under the bed, she realized she had been played for a fool..."

[Baclava]

37. "He hated the way the mud squished up between the toes of her...

...Birkenstocks like cappuccino-colored bog-ooze, as she ran to meet him...and would complain bitterly about her soggy feet as they shared some stolen moments in the back of his ice-cream truck"

[hfojvt]

31. our lips met like the pages of a badly written romance novel

slammed shut by an English major.

[6000eliot]

34. If you don't mind some constructive criticism,

wouldn't the action be rising at this point rather than falling?

[HeeBGBz]

35. Don't forget heaving bosoms

Rip a few bodices for me.

I do like your quotes you shared.

[XemaSab]

39. Her bosoms rose and fell

like a ferris wheel at a cheap carnival. "Make me a woman!" She moaned, as he tore off her gray polyester wimple and threw it to the ground. He gently lowered her to the sand, his mouth against hers like the foot of a NASCAR driver pressed to the gas pedal as he rounds the final turn.

When their lovemaking was finished, they lay there like two giant, obese beached whales thrown motionless upon the golden sand by the fickle hand of the tide.