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More Than A Feeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:09 PM
Original message
I need some Major advice...
This story involves three people: we will call them John, Priscilla, and Miles. John and Priscilla are in a serious long term relationship and have been for two years, and Miles is Priscilla's best friend and has been for seven years.

Unfortunately, Priscilla and Miles have always had serious sexual tension between them. Now it seems that they have gone and cheated on John.

They came to me for advice, since I have been their good friend as long as they have known each other, but I don't know John, except in passing. I wish they hadn't told me, but now that they have, I feel obligated to give them some advice, if only I knew what that should be.

What should I say/do? What is your take on this situation? I want to remain friends with both Miles and Priscilla.
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'd stay out of it altogether
They were very selfish to even share this with you, it puts all of your friendships in jeopardy.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
2. Priscilla needs to say goodbye to John
and pursue a relationship with Miles, with whom she has long-standing unresolved feelings.

Unless everyone's OK with a threesome. :shrug:
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:14 PM
Response to Original message
3. You sir are in a no-win sitiuation.
Your advice may be good or bad or none at all,but whatever you do someone is gonna get hurt. Run,maybe?
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yep,
It's just not going to be any fun at all.
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:16 PM
Response to Original message
5. You won't
Accept the very real likelihood that the friendship is over. You've been placed in an impossible position.

John will be angry when he finds out you knew about them.

Priscilla will be angry if you don't back her up.

Miles will be angry if you don't side with him and Priscilla.

No matter what you say, you're going to lose.

So, say nothing. Let them work it out - after all, it's their baby, so let them rock it.

Good friends don't co-opt other good friends, but that's what just happened to you.

Good luck.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
6. Stay the hell out of it.
Man, I hate when people confess their sins to their friends. They both need to confront John, but you don't need to get involved. You'll end up like a cop at a domestic call.
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mongo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
7. All you can do is listen and ask questions
to try to get them to figure out what they want to happen out of all of this.

There is no right answer to this. It is only a matter of them figuring out what they want. Personally, if you want to get involved, I would talk to Priscilla and Miles seperatly, and then together to at least make sure that they are communicating their feelings and intentions to each other - since John is out of the loop already.

Better advice might be to stay out of it altogether - but that's your call, and I realize how hard that might be now that you are somewhat caught in the middle of this.

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caty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
8. I agree with Swede.
Edited on Sat Jun-18-05 02:24 PM by caty
You have been put in a no win situation. It is up to Priscilla and Miles to do the right thing. Does Priscilla want to break it off with John to be with Miles? If so, she should end it with John before he gets hurt even more by it being dragged out. If you can't trust someone, you can't respect them. And, how can you love someone you can't respect. But, it really isn't yours to tell. It is up to them to get this straightened out.:shrug:
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vogonjiltz Donating Member (298 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
9. Run away.
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vogonjiltz Donating Member (298 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. You should get new friends, they did you no favors...
by involving you.
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MichiganVote Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
11. Some friends to have made you father/mother confessor
Better size up your friends better. They aren't doing you any favors.

They need a professional to straighten out their mess. Anything you say or do will just be construed as bias.
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acmavm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
12. Don't get involved. There is no such thing as an innocent bystander.
Especially this he/she is foolhardy enough to offer advice.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-18-05 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
13. I'm afraid there is nothing you can say or do
that will help anyone. I'll echo what others have said here and tell you to stay out of it. Just tell your friends that you do not know what to tell them.
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