I am a coward. I didn't go to my college class reunion

[Nikia]

Today. I feel bad that I am not successful, haven't done anything worthwhile, and have developed mental health issues. I feel like I am less of a person than when I graduated. Then there is the whole food issue too. I can barely stand to go out to eat with my husband, let alone have an official alum dinner with people who I don't know or haven't seen for a while.
I feel bad about not going, but I would feel bad going as well.

[Mutley]

1. I didn't go to my five year anniversary

and I probably won't go to any of them unless I want to catch up with some old friends. I wasn't too fond of my high school years.

[Nikia]

2. The thing is that I was very fond of my college years

My family life sucked growing up and I didn't feel like I belonged at school. In college, I got away from all that. I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted without feeling like I disappointed anyone or hurt their feelings. I was able to really develop myself and be who I wanted to be. For the first time in my life, I made friends easily. It was great.
Life since college has sucked though. Once again, I feel that I cannot do things things that I really want to do without disappointing someone or hurting their feelings. I don't feel like I belong with the people at work in this community either.

[Ladyhawk]

3. I wouldn't go either.

I've developed mental health issues. This society says success is having a good job and a lot of money. If that's what success is, I'm totally unsuccessful. After graduating at the top of my class, I really wouldn't want to go into a room with those people so they could laugh at how the mighty has fallen.

I've intellectually rejected the idea that money = success, but I have to internalize it and plot my own course for the rest of my life. Why should I subject myself to what a bunch of other assholes think?

Why is protecting yourself cowardice? Reunions are generally a place for those who figured out how to play the "success" game to gloat over other people. That's not the kind of place I'd want to be even if I'd earned $10 million since graduation. Phooey on 'em. :)

[Nikia]

5. Good Point

At this point, not going, is protecting myself. Although I would like to see some of those people, I can do it when I am ready on my own terms, not at an event that focuses on "success".
Edit: Typo in title

[Ladyhawk]

8. Exactly. If they are your friends, they'll understand.

If not...who needs them?

[MADem]

4. Look, you need to stop beating on yourself

It is a natural inclination to go where you will be feted, not where you will be scruitinized, questioned, or held to an invalid benchmark for "success," What I sense from your comment is that you just didn't feel like playing a bullshit, one-upsmanship game with people with whom you no longer have much connection.

Sounds entirely healthy to me...

Live your life on your own terms, it's short enough as it is without having to put up with nonsensical standards imposed by people who are now strangers during your formative years.

You're a Democrat; I'd say that alone qualifies you as having done something worthwhile--you obviously give a hoot about the world and people living in it.

[bettyellen]

6. i went to my HS reunion, and all anybody had to say was they:

bought a house
had babies
aged like hell
enjoyed the one five years ago sooo much more and
vote republican.
bleeech.
in a way, it was fun, i came away feeling great about myself.

[Ivan Sputnik]

7. I think too much emphasis is put on these types of events

It's more important, I think, to keep up individually with the people you want to stay in touch with, or to just get together in small groups when you feel like it.