Since You DIDN'T Ask, Your Wedding SUCKED

[matcom]

:grr:

ok. bear with me here.

DISCLAIMER: I HATE HATE HATE going to weddings (and here is why)

IMHO, (get that?-IMHO) a wedding should NOT be 100% about the bride and groom, rather a CELEBRATION that honors their FRIENDS and FAMILY!

what does this mean?

simple. it should NOT be about YOUR dress, YOUR Tux, YOUR ugly-assed brides maides, YOUR throwing YOUR $$ around so WE (the guests) can enjoy shitty music, shitty food (chicken or fish), shitty watered-down drinks, shitty formalities.

DO YOU? Yup. DO YOU?? yup.

Good. Now lets party in SOME fashion where it doesn't cost your GUESTS a small fortune to enjoy themselves.

hint: we do NOT care if you dance with your Father...

hint: we do NOT want to see you cut some disgusting cake...

hint: we do NOT want to wait fucking HOURS for you to be upstairs, taking 'wedding party' photos. we are hungry dammit and frankly, would rather be watching a Tom Cruise movie IN a theater than be stuck in this sweaty hall, staring at what we KNOW is dry, bland chicken/fish and $3 wine that YOU paid $22 for cause you are an IDIOT!

get it over with already. make it a 'celebration', not some spectacle (YOU PAID TOO FUCKING MUCH FOR IT ALL ANYWAY)

celebrate your friends, but DON'T subject US to the bullshit because "it's Tradition"

we frankly don't GIVE a rat's ass and we are just going to get shit-faced later to make up for the bullshit you just put us through.

:rant:

before you ask: 30 friends and family, J/P, 10 minutes, open bar, buffet (Italian), GREAT TIME!

[Guy Fawkes]

1. I get the feeling...

you don't like weddings.
(I can't blame you)

[Mistress Quickly]

2. All I know

is I will never be a bridesmaid again, and there had better be an open bar or I'm not going.

[mcar]

104. I got married 20 years ago in the days of open bars

My father would be rolling over in his grave at the thought of throwing a big party and charging his guests for drinks.

The first time I went to a wedding with a cash bar, I had about $10 in my little dress purse. I was appalled that they were charging for drinks.

I had a pretty formal wedding with all the trimmings (not like some of those $80,000 things you hear about but still). We had a great band, real food, open bar and it was the best time I've ever had. Even the band commented on what a great wedding reception it was.

If I was doing it over again, I'd rent out a hall, buy a couple of kegs and call a local caterer and DJ. And, I'd only have one attendant.

[maveric]

3. You're just un-american, matcom!

I bet that you dont read your junkmail either.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. And show some goddamned taste and think for yourself for once

in your miserable fucking life!!

RIGHT ON MATCOM!!!!!!!!!!!

If I could pound the shit every goddamned fucking moron wedding planning diva I've had to endure, I....well, that was a dumb setup on my part....but there'd be a hell of a lot of beat up diva/bridezillas!!!


GODDAMMIT PEOPLE!

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. AND NO ONE CARES IF YOU WEAR SOMETHING BLUE, women.

Fuck you.

And no one cares if you wear a goddamned garter and throw out to the single men while some mange-ridden talentless DJ fuck spews a bunch of fucking lines we've all heard before.

AND HIRE A GODDAMN BAND!

[Left Is Write]

19. No band.

Not for my wedding anyway. At my wedding, my guests were subjected to an informal lunch reception at my parents' house and were at the mercy of my dad's extensive CD collection with the music played at a low enough volume to allow for actual conversation among the guests.

;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Even better!

But if one is doing a reception with dancing, one should hire a band, not a DJ. And if one is not doing dancing, one should have neither a band NOR a DJ. One should have a string quartet, or, as in your case, a low volume stereo.

[Left Is Write]

27. I really liked my wedding.

And I'm so glad we didn't spend a fortune on it. We had so much fun!

[LynneSin]

20. I hate the garter/flowers tradition!!! The one time I got the bouquet...

...the person who got the garter was some 8 year old. Then they do that stupid thing where the guy (in my case kid) is suppose to put the garter on the woman. Geez, I don't want some 8 year old kid feeling me up - that's freaking borderline pedophilia!!(Hell, I don't wanna be a Michael Jackson!)

[Left Is Write]

23. I'm a big party-pooper fun-spoiler, but

if people are going to participate in the bouquet/garter "traditions" (when DID that garter thing become a tradition, anyway? I've seen some displays that were nothing short of vulgar), no one under marrying age should be allowed to get in on it.

[xmas74]

50. I always sidestep the bouquet.

I view it as a curse.

[LynneSin]

53. After almost being felt up by an 8 year old - I do too

Plus at my age (late 30's), I know I'm not getting married and therefore want nothing to do with the bouquet.

[xmas74]

65. Early 30's here.

And why do all men think that if you are a bridesmaid you must want sex? Guess what-I don't want to get laid all the time. (just most of the time!). I did not go to the wedding for that reason.
I still wouldn't mind getting married to the right person. I just have to find someone who I can have more than just lust w/. I want a friend. And I want someone who is willing to step in and help me raise my daughter.
There will be no bouquet toss or garter crap at my wedding! It's too tacky. I just want to have fun w/ alot of homecooking or grilling in the backyard, some ice cold beer, maybe some dancing. I don't care about formality. Break out the volleyball net and the horseshoes-just as long as everyone has a great time.

[Blue Belle]

60. I don't even stand in the receiving crowd for the bouquet toss...

that is the last thing I want to do. Half the time it's just a bunch a pre-teen girls or competitive husband hunters out for the trophy! I've seen friendlier rugby scrums than bouquet tosses!

[Rhiannon12866]

62. I just won't do it.

It would almost be worth my getting married to avoid this embarrassing stupidity.:-(

[fudge stripe cookays]

86. We did the garter belt and had fun with it.

I'm American, reprehensor is Canadian.

We had him pull off the garter to "American Woman" (the original, not the lame Lenny Kravitz).

Everyone was laughing their heads off. Our only problem was the lack of single guys to catch it.

Tacky is a relative viewpoint, by the way.

But the bouquet worked. My highly annoyed niece, Lacey, caught it, and is getting married next June.

FSC

[Ekirh]

6. Holy Hell Matcom

Summed up my feelings nicely. . .

add in the feelings next year I'm being asked to be the best man at my ex-girlfriend's wedding.. I can tell you right now my feeling on hating weddings won't change. (Not that I have any odds or dislike for my ex. . . just feels sort of weird being the best man.)

[Midlodemocrat]

7. Huh. I don't remember inviting you.

[Shoeempress]

8. I could not agree more. Most of the time it just feels like a gift

shakedown. My wedding, Hubby, me, Judge, His folks, my folks in Hawaii. I didn't even want the folks, but he prevailed.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. AND HIRE A GODDAMN BAND!!

Get a fucking polka band, or big band band, or something that people fucking care to hear!!!

Hire entertainers who know what the fuck they're doing!!!!

Don't hire DJs.

If I could beat the shit out of every DJ out there who's nothing more than a mange-ridden piece of shit, I'd be beating DJs up until the goddamn rapture, and then beyond, since none of 'em are getting raptured.

[Left Is Write]

44. Polka band?

You HAVE spent considerable time in Wisconsin, haven't you?

I was once asked to DJ a wedding, a wedding at which I was supposed to be a guest. I turned down the opportunity for two reasons: first, I was supposed to be a guest, and second, because I was a radio disk jockey, not a mobile disk jockey.

[Rabrrrrrr]

47. When I was a kid, into the mid-80s, my family always had polka bands

they were great! Not really my music for listening to, but the receptions were a blast - everyone could dance, kids and grandma and adults and everyone. We'd all dance together, there'd be group dances, circle dances... such a blast!! all being directed by the band leader, who, since s/he was a person, could adjust to the situation and improvise and make it wonderful.

Now it's all goddamn too-loud rock music played by shitfucking braindead DJs who don't know what the hell they're dointg other than that they have to play the fucking Chicken Dance song at some point, do the fucking garter thing, and do the bouquet thing, and probably do a "dollar dance", and they always play fucking dumb music and make fucking dumb comments because they only know to turn the CD player on and off, they don't know how to entertain, how to interact with a crowd, or even, sadly, how to USE A GODDAMN MICROPHONE IN A WAY THAT PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND THEM.

[Left Is Write]

52. My aunt and uncle are great polka dancers.

I used to love watching them dance and wish I could do it myself.

[Rabrrrrrr]

54. And the bands would do two-steps, waltzes, foxtrots...

all the classics, though mostly polkas.

I really miss it.

[Left Is Write]

57. I can waltz, but otherwise I'm not much of a dancer.

Weekends at my aunt and uncle's house up in the woods were always fun too - cooking whole turkeys on the grill, cheese and crackers before dinner with my aunt's homemade green pepper jelly, and polka music on the stereo. If it wasn't polka, it was Leroy Larson.

[tigereye]

124. well bands are expensive

we figured if we couldn't afford Queen Ida or the Art Ensemble of Chicago, what was the point? ;)

we had CDS.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. AND IF YOU ARE SO CHEAP YOU HAVE A CASH BAR - FUCK OFF

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Rabrrrrr, how do you really feel?

C'mon man, don't hold it in, let it out. You'll feel better.


And FWIW, I had a very nice wedding reception with about 100 people, we had it in a lovely little restaurant that used to be a mill, top shelf liquor, delicious food, no cash bar, and one of the best bands in CT. So, my friend, not all weddings suck.

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. No, they don't all suck

Friends of mine got married a few years ago, both professional, HIGHLY PAID, educated, intelligent people - had the nicest wedding and reception, organized for the whole weekend, I've ever experienced. The groomsmen all wore suits they already owned, the bridemaids all wore dresses they already owned.

The wedding was at like 10 am, they had a cocktail time with hors d'ouevres at the hotel that EVERYONE stayed at, to sate the guests until the reception, the reception was, I think, at 1 pm - sit down dinner with waiters and stuff, a special table for kids filled with crayons and toys and activities, a band that played AFTER everyone had eaten, the reception was over at 4 pm. That night, for any guests who were still staying at the hotel, they provided dinner and unlimited bar at the hotel restaurant, and then provided a bitchen' brunch in the morning.

Even with all that, they spent WAY less than I know other people, who make maybe 20% of what they make, spend on DIVA WORSHIP-ME weddings. And that weekend was THE BEST wedding experience I've ever had, and I will always remember. The guests were treated like GUESTS, not like gift-bearers who needed to be impressed, forced to kneel in worship, fed and dumped.

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. I'd never even HEARD of a wedding with a cash bar....

until a friend's son got married in the Land of Cheeseheads.

:evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. Every Wisconsin wedding I've been to has been cash bar

that I can remember, except perhaps one friend's. Though they've all been "all the free beer you can drink, so long as you pump it yourself from the keg and use plastic cups".

And I grew up in WI, and have a huge family, so I know!

Granted, much of my family are poor, so one cannot really expect a full bar from them....but sheesh, it's about hospitality.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

82. Hey GAT, all the weddings in Ireland are cash bar.

It's a little disconcerting at first, but when you think of the price of drink in the Emerald Isle you can understand it.

I love it though when visitors from Ireland attend a wedding in Chicago, they're absolutely floored at the idea of an open bar and they usually take full advantage of the fact as well. The Paddy's do love their shots!!!

[Patiod]

90. As someone of Irish descent, I have to say

that's a good way to avoid bankruptcy.

When I worked Country Club weddings in college, we used to have to steal drinks from Irish-American guests to get them to leave, or they would stay and gab all night. They were drunk -- they just liked to drink and gab, and we were getting paid a flat rate!

[Serial Mom]

106. I acutally was invited only to reception here in WI

that was a pot luck! I was to bring a gift and enough main dish (I assume it was to be a casserole) to feed 12!

They had a private wedding ceremony and then invited about 100 people to a hall for the reception only.

We declined the invitation.

[SarahB]

15. Hell yeah!

:loveya:

I had a tiny wedding the first time and (God help me) if I ever decide to do it again, it won't be some huge deal either. Too many people spend far too much time concentrating on the stupid wedding when it should really be about the marriage.

[Left Is Write]

16. Matcom...

I had a tiny little wedding myself, but I do enjoy going to weddings.

If I were you, honestly, I'd skip the whole thing. Send your congratulations and head for the hills.

[LynneSin]

17. Amen and Alleluia

Weddings have become outrageous thanks to the wedding industry that knows how to make a big profit off of emotional women who feel they have to be this special fairy princess once in her lifetime.

When I graduated college I had three really close friends get married. Friends #1 & #2 went all out for their wedding spending a shitload of money for the entire event. In fact friend #1 probably spent close to $50k of her parents money to put a wedding together which even including paying for our bridesmaid dresses

Friend #3 was given $10k from her parents to plan for their wedding. Friend #3 figured $10k would also work well as a nice down payment on their new house and opted to get married at the JofP and after they bought the house had a big family picnic where everyone could get together and celebrate her & her husband's new life.

Needless to say Friend #3 is still married to this day. #1 & #2 lasted about 18 months top in their weddings.

Weddings are bullshit and since 1 out of every 2 weddings usually end up in divorce court why not put that money to a more productive use. Why pay $10k for a damn dress I'll wear once in my lifetime. I'd rather been a sundress and some flipflops than bound up in some ungodly foo-foo white dress!


EDIT NOTE: I also have no problem if the wedding invite says that in lieu of gifts please give cash. Personally it saves me the hassle of buying overpriced crap you probably don't need and gives you the opportunity to spend it the way you really want to spend it

[Rabrrrrrr]

#3 would be, by far, my choice for a wedding to attend

YAY for #3!!!

[LynneSin]

51. Actually no one but the family attended #3's wedding

But we were all invited to the party at their house to celebrate their wedding & new home. And the invitation said that gifts were optional

[Patiod]

92. Most overpriced was Hotel Dupont, in LynneSin's backyard

My boss' daughter married into a restaurant family, and they made so many demands (specific wines, specific cheeses) that my boss finally said "you want to make demands, you're going to have to split the cost. The final cost was $120,000.

Hotel Dupont, big band, a separate room for hors d'oevres, including a 5' tower of super-jumbo shrimp and something like $5,000 worth of fancy Italian cheeses. The wine the Hotel Dupont had to offer wasn't good enough so they imported all the wine from Italy. My S.O. and I were pretty floored.

(I couldn't afford a wedding gift grand enough, so I caligraphied 450 invitations gratis. I will never make that offer again to an Italian family. 450 invites addressed to people named Mr. & Mrs. David Burns is one thing. 450 invites addressed to people named Miss Carmina Maria Dellavecchio is another)

[TrogL]

134. I just had a confusing thought

Why not have the wedding present a donation to your favourite charity.

No, wait, that's something else, isn't it.

[fortyfeetunder]

140. That reminds me of a wedding a while back

I think it was 1984, publicized in all the papers here.

I think the wedding at that time cost $50K. The bride made her own dress, and I think it was worth over $10K by itself... I saw one of the floral arrangements after the wedding, and it was the size of a dishwasher, it was humongous.

It was just the magnitude of the event...Unfortunately the bride's future was not as perfect as her wedding...

[Purrfessor]

18. My wife and I waited nearly until or marriage certificate expired.....

before going to her cousins--a notary public--to have him marry us. We also took our laundry along, multi-taskers that we are.

We started our laundry and then socialized a while before beginning the ceremony.

I remember it as if it were yesterday: We said "I do" between the wash and rinse cycles, and by the time the spin cycle kicked in we were husband and wife.

That was 28 years ago.

[fishnfla]

21. Weddings make women horny

Every wedding I went to, I got laid.

I love weddings :)

[tjdee]

43. There's a movie coming out about that.

Starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn called Wedding Crashers, or something like that.

Of course, at the end they probably turn into totally committed boyfriends... that's Hollywood!

[margaritamama]

79. Every weddding?

:shrug:

[BeTheChange]

24. Wow, you and Rabrrr have alot of anger built up...

its kinda uncomfortable to watch honestly...

Im really amazed by the posts Im seeing today about kids, family, marriage, etc. They are so selfish and callous that I checked to make sure DU didnt get hijacked and rerouted to some hate site.

I was unaware this was what the Democratic party was about. My husband tells me that I shouldn't take this place to heart and that the people who get so involved here are the same type of people that post at freerepublic, just on the opposite side of the coin. The extremists of the Dem party.

My fear is that with the internet that people truly are saying what is in their hearts, at the root of it all.. and it is indicative of the general population.

That makes me really sad.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Oh, well.

If you want to take everything out of context, and make them about something they aren't, that's your perogative.

Not my style, but, hell, we're a big tent - so....Enjoy!

And welcome to DU! :hi:

[matcom]

26. YEAY!!! I'm An "Extremist Of The Dem Party!!!"

:bounce:

ummmmmmm

this is the LOUNGE???!!!???

i.e. NOTHING to do with Politics???!!!???

but, ok :eyes:

yeah, your hubby is probably right.

[BeTheChange]

32. It has nothing to do with politics..

I guess I had just assumed Dems were "better people". More civically minded, more "it takes a village", we are all equal, yadda yadda.

Lessoned learned. I guess I should have learned it along with women are better, men are better, blacks, whites.. yadda yadda. An affiliation doesnt nessecarily make a person a certain type of person.

I dont mean to be negative...

Just a little disappointing.

[Left Is Write]

37. Their feelings about weddings don't have anything to do with politics.

Not everything does, you know.

I love weddings. Matcom doesn't. Rabrrrrrr has specific tastes in weddings. There's nothing political about it. Matcom himself is married; I'm guessing he doesn't have an issue with marriage itself.

Rabrrrrrr? I don't think he's against marriage and family either. After all, I'm the married mother of three, and he gets along with me just fine. :)

Just because we are all liberals and/or Democrats does not mean we will always agree about everything. It doesn't mean that we don't need to blow off steam and rant about things now and then. And I'll say it again: anti-wedding feelings do not necessarily equate to anti-marriage/family feelings.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Well, hey, when a person doesn't bother to fucking read,

you know, things get misinterpreted.

:loveya: left is write! Even though you are married, which apparently I'm against, and have kids, which apparently I'm against.

[BeTheChange]

69. I see..

because your posts in other threads related to children and family lately have been oh so uplifting.

[Rabrrrrrr]

84. And let me say again, "When a person doesn't bother to fucking read"

Try to read them again - I don't remember a single moment ever that either matcom or I ever - fucking EVER - said we are anti-family, anti-marriage, or anti-child.

Get your blinders off, and read the goddamned posts for what they SAY, not for what you WISH they said.

The texts speak for themselves.

But, of course, that's only true WHEN YOU BOTHER TO FUCKING READ THEM.

[BeTheChange]

101. You kiss your momma with that mouth?

You are oh so charming.

[Rabrrrrrr]

102. and another post having nothing to do with the subject....oh, well.

My mother is dead, so no, I don't kiss her with this mouth. Not that your question has any merit or relevancy or, ummmm, intelligence, but I thought I would answer it for you anyway.

:sheesh:

[BeTheChange]

112. Are you actually serious..

That you think so much of yourself that you cant understand that a person may have had the unfortunate displeasure of reading a couple very jaded, bitter posts and not had a very good opinion of their liberalism? If you shared with me that you didnt think I was being a very good steward of the word democrat after I made a post that you felt was just beyond the pale of petty and tacky, Id atleast think about it. Im not someone that sits here infront of a screen day in and day out on this site. Im a fresh pair of eyes that you might want to consider..This isnt the "Fuck all conventional society Underground" My mother taught me you catch alot more flies with honey then you do with vinegar.

Do you also think you consistanly post on topic inciteful responses with merit and relevancy.. oh, and intelligence.. with your razor sharp wit and tongue?

Okay, congratulations and good riddance.

[Rabrrrrrr]

113. Yes, I AM serious

because that which you are complaining about is that which did not exist. You found an anti-wedding-bullshit thread, and called it anti-marriage. You found anti-baby-shower-why-do-i-have-to-buy-gifts thread, and called it anti-child.

And then, you based your wariness of being a liberal on your concept that liberals are anti-marriage, anti-family, and anti-child, based on threads were none of those.

You took it all out of context and drew conclusions that are not true.

That's why I say to read the posts, and comment on what's actually there, and not what you WANT to be there.

I'm always willing to consider fresh points of view. But they should, at least, be relevant to the discussion at hand.

[Sugar Smack]

123. What does being a good Democrat and a good liberal

have to do with the defending of showy, gluttonous, one-upping behavior? That's what matcom and Rabrrrrrr are speaking about. The behavior of certain people and their attitudes when it comes to their own wedding.

Being a liberal doesn't mean you have to "understand" everything. There are some things that may as well not be understood.

[Lilith Velkor]

126. Feces attract flies, too n/t

[matcom]

127. ooooooooo

:popcorn:

[Rabrrrrrr]

129. share some o' that popcorn with me, boy

this might be good...

:popcorn:

[Lilith Velkor]

131. You too!?!

Wow, some freaky fucking freaks on here.

Cool! :smoke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

132. We are the Valhalla of freaks!

[Lilith Velkor]

130. Hey, yer supposed ta throw it, not eat it!

eeeeeeeeeeeew GROSS!!!

:barf:

[BeTheChange]

73. Nobody has to agree about everything

but berating something in several threads concurrently so strongly.. goodness. Its just not all warm and fuzzy, or particularly "liberal". But that is just my humble opinion.

I typically dont come in the lounge. I stick to LBN and GD.

[Sugar Smack]

111. They are talking about this kind of attitude

you sometimes encounter:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3504306

[tigereye]

125. well liberals can be cranky and mad too

I think the "sanctimonious liberals" tag came from the other side of the aisle.

it's just people ranting. Don't take it too seriously.

[xmas74]

61. They are saying this because of what has happened to

weddings in general. Weddings used to represent a time where a couple could stand in front of their friends and family and express their love for each other in front of everyone that they loved. It was a way to bring people together.
Now they tend to be about who can outspend who and the meaning is gone. It has nothing to do w/ hatred but rather a complaint against materialism and how it has ruined our society in general.
No matter what side of the political spectrum you come from it's a valid thought. It's just been expressed differently than you might have expected.

BTW-Welcome to DU!

[DS1]

28. You liberals have too much hate in ya

I'm leaving.

[matcom]

29. WAIT!! before you go....

you owe me $6 for that watered down Vodka & Tonic

fucking bastard! :grr:

[DS1]

33. You can have your goddamn vodka you fucking son of a fuck

Wait. I think I might like it here after all :grouphug:

[matcom]

35. i fucked your esso

deal

[DS1]

36. So that's where you were those 5 seconds

:eyes:

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. Wow, my mom never got a full five seconds from him

[matcom]

41. she wasn't deserving

silly

[Rabrrrrrr]

48. That's not what your sister said!

[matcom]

55. of COURSE not

she is a right wing southern baptist Bush* loving BITCH! she would NEVER say anything like that!

[SOteric]

66. Not so I'd notice.

:shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. No, DON'T LEAVE DS1!!!

We LOVE you here! Don't let a few extremists fucknobs make you leave! Please please please oh pretty please with sugar on it, don't go!! Bad boys olike MATCOM, who've been here forever and are part of the elite clique and so never get banned and make this place seem so horrible, you can put on ignore.

[matcom]

31. oh yeah?

CHICKEN!!

[DS1]

34. .

FISH!!

[matcom]

40. .

SHIT!! I CAN'T DECIDE!!!! :cry:

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. That's King Fucker Chicken to you, bad boy.

With wheaties.

[xmas74]

45. Best friends wedding was on a friend's farm.

She wore a simple dress, he wore a polo shirt and khakis. We had a whole hog roast w/ lots of potato salads and crap of that nature and lots of kegs. Music was provided by a friends band as a wedding present to the bride and groom. The bouquet was filled w/ wild flowers picked from the friends garden and all the flowers were donated to a nursing home for the residents to enjoy. The cake(s) were cheesecakes that a number of us had made the day before. And we had a friend of a friend who was into tribal drums so later that night we lit a bonfire, drummed and danced. Even the photos were done by friends w/ disposal cameras left at each table.
Not a single thing was done by a professional. In lieu of gifts we set up some boxes where people brought canned goods to donate to a local food pantry. Any other presents were to be monetary only and donated the charity of the guest's choosing.
Best wedding I have ever been to and what I hope for my own wedding someday, even though it was ridiculed by a number of local "upstanding" citizens later on.

[Randers]

46. I was one of those

with 30 people there and my maid of honor wore a dress she already owned, etc.

If I were to do it again - I would want a band and dancing.

I don't care about getting a meal and all of that at receptions- but I do enjoy receptions with dancing. I'll even go along with a DJ.

And I don't blame people who want traditions - but I think spending outrageous amounts is ridiculous. (I can do without the vulgar garter nonsense, also).

[bluestateguy]

49. I like weddings

I'm not sure why, but I do. I've been to about 10 in the last 6 years. I've never had a bad time at a wedding. The only thing I find frustrating is that for most of these weddings I have had to travel, and that ends up costing me a lot of money.

[madeline_con]

56. So, the whole spectacle...

made you want to :puke: but you had a wonderful time. Interesting.

[lumberingbear]

58. Does this mean...

that you are no longer offering your home for any gay couple that wants to get married? It seems that you made that offer a few months ago.

[Rhiannon12866]

59. I'm with you on this one, my friend. I hate weddings, too.

They make my throat close, which is a big reason that I never got married. If I ever seriously considered it, I'd do what my friend did (and she was completely unable to even utter the word "marriage") and just do it privately, with no guests except for immediate family, though, in my case, even that would be a mistake (angry Freepers).:-(

[fudge stripe cookays]

63. Here's a suggestion...

if they bother you so much, don't go.

And I believe that it IS the couple's day to celebrate as they wish. They ask you because they value you either as friend or family. If you don't like their tastes or their food, leave early.

I loved my wedding. It wasn't tiny, it wasn't huge, it was just right for us. We had a DJ, but we gave him definite things we wanted played (John Hiatt, Brcue Cockburn, Frank Sinatra, etc) and told him the crap that was verboten (Celine Dion, Kool and the Gang, etc).

We had a package deal. I wish I could have done more, but it was all I could afford. Cake, mini sandwiches, baguettes and flavored butters, spinach dip, coffee, and a champagne fountain.

My wedding was OUR special day, and if anyone else didn't like the experience, tough titties.

FSC

[BeTheChange]

74. Seconded...

Definately, dont go.. let that be your present to the couple. I know I sure as hell wouldn't want someone who felt this way bringing negative energy to my husband and I's wedding day. We didnt invite 329 people, we invited those that were nearest and dearest to us. The ones that loved us and were just so happy for our happiness. They wouldnt have cared less if I would have served them cupcakes from Albertsons and pimento cheese sandwiches on wonderbread. They were there to celebrate the joining of two hearts, lives and families....

[driver8]

76. Amen, fudge stripe cookays...if you hate weddings so much, don't

fucking go.

A wedding is the couple's special day...the day should be all about them. If someone cannot afford to have an open bar...big fucking deal! Pry open your wallet and buy a couple of drinks! You don't like chicken? Don't eat it!

My wife and I had an amazing wedding. We served chicken and only had beer and wine...but I had so many people come up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed themselves. My friends and family were there to share the day with us. If you don't want to honor your friend or family member...stay the fuck home.

Who wants to listen to your whining, anyway?

[Goldmund]

64. Nominated!

[driver8]

77. Nominated for what? Whiniest post of the day??

Boo Hoo...they didn't have an open bar and I'm to goddamned cheap to buy my own drinks!

Boo Hoo...I didn't like the music the dj played and all they served me to eat was chicken...

If this is all that you can find to complain about in your life...I would say you are doing ok.

[Goldmund]

80. Boo Hoo... Matcom's karma wounded my dogma

[yvr girl]

67. Best wedding I ever went to was my cousins

There was about 60 people and it was at a bed and breakfast (friends of hers owned it.) Everything was on-site so there was no downtime between the wedding and reception. If you wanted to watch the pictures being taken you could, or you could have h'ourdeurves and drinks.

The music was a jazz trio.

They had a couple of toasts and about 10 minutes of impromptu dancing.

There was no bouquet / garter nonsense. No long program of any sort. They just had finger food, but there was tons of it, and it was really good. The bar was simple. Beer, wine soft drinks and punch.

It was over by 5:00 pm.

The next day we had a great BBQ/gift opening/party on their houseboat.

[progmom]

68. mine was ok

simple ceremony - grammy award winning vocalist sang
we took the pictures the day before
no garters, no special dances, no silly bouquet tossing
there were 90 people though...

[youthere]

70. So don't go.

:shrug:

[njdemocrat106]

71. My last wedding experience

I went to a wedding about a month ago (my cousin). Out of all the weddings I've been to, the music and the DJ at this one was absolutely the worst. All the up-tempo dance music was speeded up so that every singer sounded like they were on helium (and yes, they managed to do that to Barry White, too). And the DJ was the biggest prick, pretty much saying after each song how much he hated that particular song. Granted, cheesy songs and weddings go hand-in-hand, but at least pretend to like the music (As New York DJ Dan Ingram would say: "I like that song. I have to. It says in my contract 'I have to like all songs'"). I'll agree with the polka-band sentiments above (I'm Polish on my mom's side of the family, and I've been to a few weddings with polka bands. This wedding I'm talking about was on my dad's side, which is Irish). And I hate the whole bouquet and garter belt crap. I sneak out to the bathroom during the garter belt charade (and my mom said "Everyone's going to think you're gay if you keep on doing that. Little does she know ;) ). On a positive note, there was a cocktail hour featuring an open bar (which actually lasted the whole wedding) and a buffet table about a mile long (OK I'm exaggerating), so I left the wedding quite stuffed.

[Dukkha]

72. speaking of watered down drinks

One wedding I attended actually served BOXED WINE! I'd rather drink Piss!

[greeneyedpookie]

75. I see your point

however, when you get the invitation, whether you like the person or not, you have a choice, go or not go. You are your own person. The choice is yours.

GEP

:bounce:

edit: damn spelling!!!

[Book Lover]

78. Did something happen where you can't say the word No? (nm)

[Elidor]

81. There is nothing worse than a wedding

Even a funeral is more fun.

When I get married (which will be fairly soon, I suspect), we'll have immediate family and a VERY few close friends join us at a local nature spot, and while we will dress semi-nice, all guests will be in jeans and comfortable attire. The booze will flow and the food will be plentiful and splendid, and there will be a tasty selection of boogie-woogie music. As soon as everyone has had their fill, we'll all take off. The whole thing will take about 90 minutes.

[NuttyFluffers]

93. true, even my preacher back in grade school liked funerals more...

but then he was the coolest priest i've ever met, so...

if i must get married i'm gonna hand all the responsibility to a big troupe of drag queens, even if i don't know 'em. they'll get everything done, it'll all be in order (or there'll be hell to pay, dammit! piss a drag queen off at your own peril), on the cheap, completely fabulous, drugs spilling off tables, and with all the drama and cattiness that comes with it everyone will leave feeling that they had a whole room of divas. oh, and they'll have the best music, too.

yeah... how come drag queens don't start a wedding plan company?

ps: and i'll pay them extra if they can figure out a way to make small parade floats to go down the church aisle.

[Rabrrrrrr]

97. Most ministers prefer funerals to weddings

Mostly because at funerals, people actually want the minister there.

For weddings, the minister is a traffic cop that no one wants there - weddings are either really sedate and nice, or, more typically, have the bride diva bridezilla bitch component, or the bitch mother-of-the-bride component, or both, to deal with, and it's all spectacle and bullshit and people get all bent out of shape.

It's surprising, but if you took a poll, you'll find that most ministers FAR prefer to do funerals.

Though I'm sure that, whenever the funeral industry figures out a way to make funerals into a bullshit faux-event costing tens of thousands more than it does now, we might see ministers who don't want to do either.

:-)

[Left Is Write]

121. Not to harp on my wedding yet again...

(I'm starting to sound diva-ish myself), but I love the guy who married us. He wore a suit and a ponytail (no vestments or robes). He cracked wise during the sermon, poked a little fun, exuded warmth and love, and even brought the groom up (by surprise) to play the guitar. He was also careful to include my ten-year-old daughter in the ceremony, emphasising that it wasn't just about the two of us, but the three of us.

He's one of the two humblest, most down-to-earth ministers I have ever met.

[Elidor]

133. You're onto something there

Drag queens sound like great wedding planners. Suddenly I want to watch Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

[trackfan]

83. Our wedding was cool - just went to the court and got married.

We paid $10 extra for "confidential" marriage license, which meant we didn't have to have witnesses, just the magistrate. Whole thing cost about $75. No fuss. Not even a ring.

[GalleryGod]

85. Hey,Mat ! You got it Bro! $35,000 of bullshit! Total Bullshit!

Parents go broke and everybody talks about your shitty wedding behind your back for years.

Nightnurse and I got married at the Unitarian Church in
P-town:spray: !!!Our Innkeeper was our witness ! Went out to the Drag Shows that night after seeing the Flirtations in concert!

If you got only ONE buffet? Go Italian!:patriot:

[underpants]

87. See what the Massachusetts gayos have done?

:bounce:

[ucmike]

88. wedding industry ruined weddings

after charles/di globally televised wedding, everyone was told they have to have a princess wedding and being such loyal consumers, america bought into it and the wedding "industry" exploded.

my complaint is that wedding are planned and very little consideration is given to the guests. my girlfriends cousin is getting married this summer. they are modest people, no one in the family is big budget but they are having their wedding in the hamptons, in august. they live on long island, but not anywhere near the hamptons. they have no ties to the hamptons, they don't vacation there, they don't go there, and its no where near where any of their guests live.

so we will drive 5-6 hours to cover the 120 miles between here and there. if you know long island, you know that its a driving nightmare, and that the hamptons in august is one of the hotspots. so the hotel they reserved for their guests, 40 minutes away from the ceremony and reception will run us about $300 a night on a sunday night. fortunately, no one attending this late afternoon wedding has to work monday morning (sarcasm intended).

now, i know you can say no, but seriously, who can say no to a family wedding. whenever it comes up they say "its only a two hour drive". yeah, right, maybe if everyone in new jersey, nyc, and long island stays home that day and there's no construction.

between showers, house warmings, hotels, driving, wedding gifts, this couple and their wedding will have cost us about $600 (not counting any clothes we need-i haven't worn my suit in a while) to clebrate the wedding of a couple who own a house together and have been together for 8 years.

[oldcoot]

128. The "princess wedding"

Ouch! I am sorry that they were not more considerate in planning their "special day."

I think that your comment about Chuck and Di's wedding transforming the wedding industry is very interesting. I remember working at a camp with a couple of wedding-obsessed young women during the early 1990s. Although neither woman was engaged, they would spend hours reading these bridal magazines and talking about planning their weddings. I wondered if they realized that getting married meant that they would be stuck with a husband. When I actually got married, I only looked at one or two magazines and actually wanted to elope. My husband was the one who wanted the traditional wedding.

[ProfessorGAC]

89. We Went Big, But On The Budget Plan

Family connections for the hall. Family connections for the caterer. Family connections for the band. (Worst.Band.Ever)

Then, my wife and i left before 8pm. Started at 6. Buffet line open before the first person came in. No toast. No big production or big entrance.

We stood at the door. Greeted everyone. Then ate. Danced one dance. Then went to my parents house to change clothes, and See Ya! Out of town!

This was back in 1980, but for wedding with over 300 attendees, we spent under $2700, including the dress, hall, and rings. (Excepting her engagement ring which was already a year and a half old by then.)

We had the most trite, predictable, for the old folks wedding imaginable. I would have hated going to it. But, the older folks loved it! Good enough for me.
The Professor

[Magrittes Pipe]

91. Well, fine. You weren't invited, anyway.

x(

[Sugar Smack]

94. Hee hee!

Bride basher!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[matcom]

95. .

LMFAO!! :rofl:

[Debbi801]

96. You would have loved our wedding...

I should have invited you. :-)

It was at the local Renaissance Faire. It was casual, come as your are--some people came in dresses, some in shorts, some in jeans and not a single suit in the whole bunch. The food was buffet--turkey legs, BBQ style stuff, etc. We made up "goody bags" for all the kids with bubbles, snacks, coloring books & crayons, etc. We also had a bunch of the water mister fans for the kids to share. Beer, wine, ale, etc. as much as you wanted.

It was the best party I've ever been too--my husband and I thought so and so did all of our guests. No one was stressed, there was no time schedule, and we spent hardly any money to throw it. We've been married almost 6 years and people still talk about how much fun they had at our wedding.

Sorry the one you just went to wasn't fun.

Debbi

[Trigger Hippie]

98. Count me in

on the traditional wedding bashing. I just wanna shout, "Come on people, do something a little more creative!" People should consider a wedding more of a family affair than just about the pain in the ass bride.

:hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

99. And what's worse is you subject me to all that and then you fuckers

won't even ALLOW me to get married (except for Mat and Mrs Mat)

[matcom]

100. BAM!!

whoop! there it is! :applause:

[rbnyc]

103. I got married wearing a diaper!

So it definitely wasn't about my dress!

;-)

http://www.slutfishrecords.com/072603.html

:hi:

[Ramsey]

105. My wedding was fun!

We brought our families and friends to a Caribbean island (yes we paid for them to get there and for their rooms), we had our "rehearsal" dinner on the beach (not there was no rehearsal, just lots of champagne). A 10 minute ceremony on a beautiful bluff overlooking the ocean, then we took a few pictures while the others were escorted to the private reception with OPEN BAR and hors d'oeuvre. Then we drank, ate lobster and danced to a cute steel drum band cranking out Caribbean tunes.

Everybody wants to know when we are having them to a group anniversary party at the same resort!

[GOPisEvil]

107. ...and keep your damn cats inside the house, too!

Dammit.

:P

[Rabrrrrrr]

108. No,they need to be let outside, so we can shoot 'em!

[GOPisEvil]

109. With machine guns.

Fully automatic!

[Rabrrrrrr]

114. filled with cop-killer bullets!

[GOPisEvil]

115. Can we listen to Ice-T, too?

:bounce:

[Rabrrrrrr]

116. And you can be my beeatch!

[GOPisEvil]

117. Are you my pimp daddy?

[Rabrrrrrr]

118. That, or maybe I'm your homey

let's pop a few caps in people's asses and do something phat stupid.

[GOPisEvil]

119. Yeah, boyyyyyyy!

/flava flav

[Rabrrrrrr]

120. It's the fuckin' shiznitts!

I'll bring the bling!

[matcom]

110. oh, well THAT goes without saying!

:D

[Sequoia]

122. I just want the food and wine

I went to a wedding once where the ceramony was at 2pm but dinner wasn't until much later. By dinner time everyone was well wasted, it was horrid. It's was all about the most expensive place they could book. Afterwards I was in a horrid accident (I wasn't driving)with the car destroyed, couldn't write for a month, and I hate weddings too, and intersections scare me.

[TrogL]

135. My relations had horrible, tacky weddings

Most of the receptions ending up being raided by the police or with some of the wedding party in hospital or the morgue - alcoholics the lot of them.

They tried to pull some of their shit at my wedding and were shut down real quick.

[terrya]

136. Well, at least your weddings have legal recogntion.

Maybe ours will...someday.

[HEyHEY]

137. I love weddings, I love making it all about the couple

And most of all, I love hitting on the bride's sleazy sister.

[Initech]

138. The only time weddings are fun is when alcohol is involved

I went to a wedding one time that didnt have alcohol and it sucked major.

And they had a really annoying DJ, too. That made it worse.

[LynzM]

139. Dude, you would have loved to be at our wedding

Under an hour in the church, munchies (yes, munchies, on buffet tables) in the church hall, DJ'd by a friend, then off to my grandparents' backyard for a 'garden party' (read: eating leftovers, drinking, hanging out in comfy clothes), then driving to the beach. It was EXCELLENT :D

It makes me really sad, actually, that people end up making the day more about the stuff and the perfection than what the event means.

[fortyfeetunder]

141. can you talk with my nephew?

He is engaged. So as I was told, he and his betrothed told their parents that they wanted a $10K wedding in the hometown (3000 miles away from where they live) and expected both sets of parents to cough up the $$$$.

My nephew knows I didn't do that, my $$$ went into buying my house. And I had a very inexpensive wedding. I caught all kinds of hell from certain family members for "not spending money on a wedding". So doubt he would not approach me on a wedding budget.

What I'd really want to tell him, is sucker, you haven't a pot to p*** in, considering you are living in one of the highest rent districts in the USA. If you and your lady had any sense, you'd be instead asking for help on a down payment on some real estate, go have a wedding on a realistic budget, and concentrate on your marriage.