Radar Online: How’d Cruise do it? $cientology Truth or Dare!

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

http://www.radaronline.com/fresh-intelligence/2005/06/21/index.php#report_001417



Tom Cruise wasn’t always so cool. In fact, it’s taken him years (and tens of millions of dollars, we hear) to achieve the special brand of inner bliss that allows him to shrug off getting squirted in the face with water on the red carpet. How’d Cruise do it?

With help from the Church of Scientology’s “SEC WHOLE TRACK” questionnaire, that’s how. The internal church document was developed by Scientology founder and onetime science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard for use during “auditing” sessions—you know, the ones designed to identify your trapped “thetans.”

The “thetans,” or alien ghosts, were implanted in earth’s volcanoes 75 million years ago by the evil intergalactic ruler Xenu, until the nasty buggers escaped and invaded the bodies of each and every one of us. New recruits like Katie Holmes, or “preclears,” answer the questions while hooked up to an E-meter—a crude, polygraph-like contraption—as a Church-sanctioned auditor records the subject’s responses for further expensive inquiry. We excerpted 20 of the list’s 343 questions in the premier issue of Radar, on newsstands now. For those playing along at home, here’s another verbatim sampling.

• Have you driven anyone insane?
• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
• Is anybody looking for you?
• Have you ever set a poor example?
• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
• Are you in hiding?
• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
• Have you ever gone crazy?
• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
• Have you ever smothered a baby?
• Do you deserve to have any friends?
• Have you ever castrated anyone?
• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
• Have you ever zapped anyone?
• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so,
did you spread it?

[coloradodem2005]

1. Cruise was cool in the 80's.

Now, he's crazy.

[Spinzonner]

2. What do you get for a perfect score ?

[djeseru]

4. The bill.

You have to pay to be cool, I suppose...

[eleonora]

3. Forget about Scientology, the newest in-thing is the Khabalah!

Even Jackson's in it!

[Spinzonner]

8. Well, as PT Barnum allegedly implied

there's no shortage of suckers.

[madeline_con]

9. Well, it must be the cat's pajamas

if a skinny pedophilic white girl who lives in Neverland is into it!

I have a copy, I'm leaving right now to read it cover to cover!

[roguevalley]

23. you don't have to read it. you can 'scan' it. most don't read it. so

even just looking at the words imparts wisdom according to the frauds perpetrating this hereasy. Yikes. Harsh, but accurate.

[elshiva]

25. Kabalah is ancient Jewish Mysticism... SIGH!

:(

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. Have you ever deserted a great leader? Do you deserve to be enslaved?

Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so,
did you spread it?


Aren't these the screening questions at Free Republic? :P

[madeline_con]

10. Yes, master...

I have deserted the Great Leader.

[philosophie_en_rose]

13. But you deserve to be enslaved!

:)

[madeline_con]

14. Oh, but I am...

I miss my volcano.

[philosophie_en_rose]

15. As long as you've signed your billion year contract.

You'll be okay. Eventually.

[madeline_con]

6. speechless....

>>>The “thetans,” or alien ghosts, were implanted in earth’s volcanoes 75 million years ago by the evil intergalactic ruler Xenu, until the nasty buggers escaped and invaded the bodies of each and every one of us.<<<

This is a joke, right? L. Ron Hubbard certainly has a mind worth looking into.

[Spinzonner]

11. He's my hero

It's not everyone who can invent an outrageous religion and make a booming success of it.

Now don't get me started on Peter :-)

[madeline_con]

18. hero...

My husband is an ordained minister from some church in Modesto. You just answer a couple of questions, and they send you an ecertificate.

I've thought about starting my own church, getting the 501c3 and the whole bit.

According to what I've read, I can keep 40% of all donations for 'administrative and other expenses'.

I'd be as sincere as any televangelist, and they haven't been struck dead yet, even though one or two deserve it.

[madeline_con]

7. BTW

Who says yes to this stuff?

[xmas74]

12. I would just to see what my score was.

I like to f*ck w/ people sometimes. I did it on a job interview a few years ago. I was really surprised when they offered me the job.

[madeline_con]

16. Sure, but for real

who tells aninterviewer they killed the wrong person? :shrug:

[xmas74]

22. If you meant to kill someone else

and you forgot your meds that morning...

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

17. Lots...and lots...and LOTS of people.

And the appeal comes from people like Cruise, John Travolta, Isaac Hayes...

[evlbstrd]

19. No! Not Isaac!

Waaaaaah!

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

20. A&E has a two-hour special, "Inside Scientology"...

...and Issac and John Travolta both gave extensive interviews.

Isaac's a true hard-core Scientologist.

[evlbstrd]

21. Wow. Just, wow.

I guess they can afford it.

[roguevalley]

24. Carlos Santana is a scientologist.