Post your own favorite "Good christ, I'm an asshole!" moment

[bertha katzenengel]

I fell in love with a pretty nifty woman on line. We corresponded for months. Then came time for that first phone call.

She had a heavy southern accent! I knew she was originally from Tennessee, but -- my God!

Prior to that moment, I had always "thought" that Southerners were backward, ignorant, inbred, stupid, and ultra-conservative across the board.

Ten seconds after I heard Mrs. Venation speak that first time, I realized what a non-thinking asshole I had always been.

If anyone ever wonders why I weigh in loudly on any Southerner-bashing, now you know. It's bullshit, darling. Second only to Christian-bashing.

Now: do you have a favorite "good christ! I'm an asshole!" moments of your own?

[jobycom]

1. A few weeks ago I was driving through Houston listening to "Forever Young"

As always I was pissed at the traffic, the radio, the lousy time I was making. I was trying to change lanes, and had my blinker on. I could see that the truck behind me was about to pull around me and try to pass, even though he saw my blinker. So I wipped out in front of him, cutting him off and cursing at him. At that exact moment, the car in front of me whipped out, and I could see the driver cursing at me. I hadn't even seen his blinker because I so mad at the guy behind me.

Just then, Ole Rod Stewart sang out "And do unto others, As you’d have done to you."

I don't think either of the other cars understand why I started laughing just then.

[salin]

4. non sequitor

sang "Forever Young" at a wedding of friends a number of years ago - with a salin authored additional verse. They gave us total freedom to choose what we played in the wedding (the two from the wedding party that were asked to play a song on guitars at the wedding.) A year later Stewart did his remake of the Dylan song.

[jobycom]

2. And BTW, Thanks for sticking up for the south. nt

[bertha katzenengel]

3. How can I not, now that I understand how ignorant I was?

:hi:

[jpgray]

5. Every day. Sometimes twice, three times in one day (nt)

[asthmaticeog]

7. Maybe you should quit being such an asshole.

:evilgrin:

[jpgray]

8. But that's how I pull all the chicks, dude. (nt)

[Redstone]

6. When I rode the skid, and found why they had told me

"don't ride the skid!" so many times.

Redstone

[hfojvt]

9. It was about two weeks before Clausmas

but it was a slow day for business. My love life was going nowhere, as always. I don't remember if any other things had gone wrong, but I was in a foul mood.
This old woman comes into my store. She has diabetes, I think, and her face is puffed up and she can barely see. She had been a customer before, infrequently. On this day, she buys two new books. Then as I am giving her back her change, she hands me $5 and says "Merry Christmas".
It made me feel like a major jerk to have been so grumpy whereas this old woman with her infirmities and ailments could still spread cheer.

[Tsiyu]

10. My favorite "I've been an asshole" song

Chris Knight

It Ain't Easy Being Me


There ought to be a town somewhere
Named for how I feel
Yea I could be the Mayor down there
And say welcome to Sorryville

It wouldn't be on a map nowhere
You might say it that it don't exist
But if you make enough wrong turns
It'd be hard to miss

There ought to be a bridge somewhere
They could dedicate to me
I'd probably come to the ceremony
With a can of gasoline
Walk on over to the other side
And there I'd light a match
And sit and stare through the smoke and the flames
Wondering how I'm ever gonna get back

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way am I am a self made fool?
I shoot the lights and curse the dark
I need your love but I break your heart

And I know the words that'll bring you back
But I don't say nothing as I watch you pack
I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be
It ain't easy being me

Ought to be a side show act for freaks like me
Yea I could be the the star of the show
With my name on the marquee
In a room with a big red button that says danger do not touch
And twice a day I'd mash it down
And you could watch me self destruct

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way am I am a self made fool?
I shoot the lights and curse the dark
I need your love but I break your heart
And I know the words that'll bring you back
But I don't say nothing as I watch you pack
I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be
It ain't easy being me

There are too many "I'm an asshole" moments to list, so the song'll have to do as my penance;)