Guess I am a pointy-headed librul intee-leckshuwal

[Zomby Woof]

I don't fit in with Real Americans and their childish preoccupations.

Today's Lame Rant-In-Point:

A person who we do business with came in to say 'hey', and one of my co-workers asked if he still "had the Hummer."

It seems that he rented one of these new "compact" H3's recently (never heard of them, because I am out of touch with Real Americans, as the media reminds me), and 2 of my co-workers were ooing and aahing about it.

Various comments from all 3 parties included, but were not limited to:

"I would LOVE to have one of those for the weekend! It would be FUN!"

"It would be FUN to BE SEEN in one of those!" :eyes: (my favorite comment)

"How did other people react?"

"I bet they were LOOKING AT YOU!" *giggle*

And so it went, :puke: ad nauseum.


I just kept to myself, with my back to them, puking quietly into my wastebasket and rolling my eyes, thinking that it is true: I AM OUT OF TOUCH with Real Americans, that I truly, will never, never, never understand the material fascination Americans have with their vehicles, especially with the ethos of bigger and bigger and more and more. That the point of private transportation is to BE SEEN, and for others to envy you.

This is nothing new, I know. But I can't hack it any better now than I could 20 years ago when I first realized that Real Americans are the biggest bunch of selfish, egomaniacal pricks on the face of the planet.

But what do I know? I am just a goddamned liberal pinheaded elitist.

[Skittles]

1. we are ELITE, Zombywoof

JAYSUS I would be embarrassed to death to be seen in one of those g.d. things

[SOteric]

2. Well you're in good company.

Mine. :hug: :7

[MuseRider]

3. Me too.

Really odd isn't it?

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME!!!!

The same mentality that causes the wedding bullshit, and the baby shower bullshit, and the big house bullshit, and the boat bullshit and the car bullshit . . .

Anyway, I'm grateful that I am in your company, not theirs.

[Zomby Woof]

22. Likewise!

You and matcom's hijacking of his own wedding thread was a masterpiece of side-splitting librul hee-larity!

[trof]

5. I believe it's "innuh-leckshuhl".

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. speling natzee!!

[trof]

11. putz

;-)

[Nay]

7. I never could understand the hold all that shit has for people, either.

You are not alone, Z. That's for sure. But no one should think that Americans are the only ones like this -- they aren't. Much of the developing world is just as avaricious, showoffy, etc., as any American would be, but they just don't have the money or goods yet.

On the other hand, it seems that some first world countries either never had, or got rid of, their fascination with junk and have kept a good perspective (Slow Food movement in Europe, etc.).

As I have mentioned before, I am considered somewhat eccentric at work (as some of you here are) for not watching every dumbass TV show that is cobbled together to mesmerize the masses into buying more junk. People have stopped asking me "Did you see(fill in the blank) last night?" because it has finally sunk in that I GENERALLY DON'T WATCH TV. After I saw every X-files ten times and every Stargate ten times, I STOPPED WATCHING. I have admitted a weekly addiction to "24" and this has somewhat redeemed me in the eyes of my colleagues.

What I find most puzzling about how my eccentricity is received is the unspoken question that almost gets said: Well then, what could you possibly be doing with all your time off if you don't watch TV? I am saddened that most people do not have any, I repeat, any, discernible hobbies. I do not consider collecting NASCAR posters a hobby -- I'm talking about making things, or action-oriented things. Enormous numbers of people do nothing on their off time but watch TV. It's insidious and dangerous, not to mention fattening.

[LynzM]

45. Same here, with the TV

People finally got it... "oh yeah, you don't watch TV". It's not that I never watch, just that my choices don't include 'reality' TV or popular stuff, in general. My time-waster is the internet, which is plenty. Other than that, hang out with my family, be outside, read a book, on and on and on... create my own reality :)

[nini]

8. Why would they want to be seen in a car that screams -Tiny Penis??

:shrug:

[kiraboo]

9. And let there be no mistake, that is exactly what I think when I

see a male in one of those monstrous vehicles. What about that truck with the double wheels in back. The thing doesn't even fit in one lane because it's so wide. And have you ever noticed that there are a lot of Americans who house their vehicles in garages which dwarf their actual homes? What's that about?

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. "Marvel at me - I have a six car garage!"

Yeah, I'm really fucking impressed, you stupid piece of shit. Unless you're housing old Jaguars and Rolls Royces, no one with a brain gives a flying fuck that you waste your money on conpsicuous consumption. All you look like to me, asshole, is a stupid asshole.

[wideopen]

14. H2 = Hardly 2 inches

[6000eliot]

10. I'm with you, Zomby

If we lived in a country that had decent public transportation, I wouldn't even own a car. To me it's just a pain in the ass. So, I guess I'm also "out of touch" with the rest of America.

[Zomby Woof]

31. I like having a car

I have a very utilitarian bent. I want a car for its usefulness, practicality, economy, and to maintain some semblance of autonomy. This is not to argue against mass transit, because that would be key in conserving resources, so yes, more of that too.

So I drive a Japanese-based, American-made, fuel-efficient, clean-burning-as-possible-without-being-a-hybrid, compact sedan. I don't want to be noticed, I just want to get from Point A to B with a minimum of waste and fuss. :-)

[SarahB]

12. I'd hesitate to say what I think of men with elaborate vehicles.

:eyes:

[trof]

15. Girls don't make nuzzlers with men in gas guzzlers?

;-)

[SarahB]

16. Overcompensation maybe.

;)

[tenshi816]

17. I don't get the vehicle thing either.

I live in England and even going back home to visit the States, I can honestly say I've never even seen a fucking Hummer (I'm sure there's plenty of 'em there, especially since I'm from Atlanta originally, it's just that I don't notice that shit at all). And WTF is a "compact H3's"? The mind boggles.

I do have a 4-wheel drive vehicle myself, but it's because I live very high up in West Yorkshire and in the winter actually need it because of the weather. However, it's a 4-seater with a small engine, and a 1993 model that even after all this time still has less than 50,000 miles on it. I don't even have cup holders (gasp!). And, no, people don't look at me when I drive it, because it's functional, not a flashy gas guzzler.

The comments you heard: well, priceless. I'm torn as to which I thought was most stupid, but I'm leaning towards "how did other people react?". It's a vehicle, and it gets people from point A to point B, damnit. Why do people want all those bells and whistles. Aaaarrrgh....

May I join you in being a goddamned liberal pinheaded elitist?

[Iris]

18. "I'll bet 'they' were LOOKING AT YOU!"

Yeah. Looking at you and thinking what a big selfish prick you are.

[salin]

19. hey in red state college town... you get that response for a Prius

and the eye rolls for a hummer. So guess you are a liberal pinheaded elitist - but you are in good company.

[truthbetold]

20. You're not the one out of touch.

They're out of touch. Their stupid vehicles that are trying to make up for whatever they lack in confidence are ridiculous and you have every right to speak out against it.

[Tsiyu]

21. Why do you hate America?

Don't you know MORE is BETTER?

Gotta have LOTS and LOTS of useless stuff and drive a BIG ass vehicle or you ain't NOBODY.

Stupid intehleckshual eeleet!

[deadparrot]

23. Funny,

I recently spent ten hours in a car with two Republicans. When we saw a Hummer pull up at a gas station, both of them commented about how large, ugly, and wasteful they were.

You're not alone. :)

[Zomby Woof]

24. Sometimes these things aren't political

Or ideological.

But they are cultural, and that is my real point.

[WindRavenX]

25. This is what I do when I see a man with one of those Hummers:

Step 1: Flip him off
Step 2: Yell : "Sorry about your penis!"
Step 3: Smile.

[Zomby Woof]

26. blorp

[salin]

28. bah

or better yet... Yak!

[Zomby Woof]

30. Yaks!

That was when I doomed DU - when I introduced the Almighty Yak.

Blorp!

[libodem]

27. gosh Zomby

I didn't' know you were so deep. I'm impressed. You usually post such goofy shit. I appreciate your disdain for conspicuous consumption and fuel inefficiency. You Rock

[Zomby Woof]

29. I hate to say this

At the risk of sounding arrogant, but what the hell...

I am actually a heavyweight in the brains department. I actually used to post nothing but serious, long, and analytical pieces in GD, Editorials/Articles, etc when I was a newbie back in 2001.

I discovered the Lounge later, and it became an outlet to post about music (back when we could do it intelligently in here, and not just to put down others for their tastes), socialize, and allow our non-political side some indulgence. The Bush years are hard, and humor is necessary as an outlet.

But after November of last year, I just quit giving a shit. The SCOTUS case today just proved what I had been building up to the past several years: This is a rigged game, and we have already lost.

So the best we can do is just work on improving our little corner of the world, and quit pretending that marchin', votin', callin' C-SPAN, writin' the paper, yellin' at the TV, or any other manner of madness is going to make a damn bit of difference, because it won't.

Come to think of it, the REAL goofy shit I posted WAS when I was a newbie...

Here, read these (if any of the links work), back when I actually was naive enough to give a fuck:

http://www.commondreams.org/views02/0729-06.htm

http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/02/08/17_bankrupt.html

http://members.tripod.com/partisanwitchhunt-ivil/reports2.html#War

Yeah... I am a real clown.

[Trigger Hippie]

32. Barf.

I hate it when people do this. They are so lame. They just have no clue. I'm proud to be with you and others who feel like they're not "real Americans" just because they don't worship Hummers.

[ProfessorGAC]

33. Why Do You Hate America, Zomby?

Not all of us pinheaded elitist liberals hate america. But, you must. You hate those big, ugly, obnoxious pieces of crap. Oh wait. I guess i do too.

Never Mind.
The Professor

[Bridget Burke]

34. Pointy headed (artistic) intellectuals who want to be looked at....

Drive Art Cars! A few shots may be seen here:

www.visithoustontexas.com/national_photo_gallery.asp

Houston, of course, has the country's oldest Art Car Parade, as well as the Art Car Museum. Check out the Beer Can House, as well--now under renovation by people who rescued the Orange Show. (Don't click on the mole poblano from Hugo's if you're hungry for Mexican food.)

[Worst Username Ever]

35. It's ok. I drive a moped :-)

[Zomby Woof]

36. When I lived in Spain

Which was the late 70's... mopeds were everywhere. I had never seen one before then. I imagine this is still a European phenomenon. :-)

[Misunderestimator]

37. Europe... and Key West.

[Zomby Woof]

39. Problem is...

I can't drive a moped and eat bad Key Lime Pie at the same time! :D

(never mind the obscure reference... lol) :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

40. Assuming you had bad Key Lime Pie in Key West...

:crazy: I guess I get your point?

[Zomby Woof]

42. Never been there!

Skinner remarked in the "Overrated Vacation Spots" thread that he gets better Key Lime Pie in DC than he did in Key West. :D

In all my travels, I have yet to enter Florida. Have lots of old high school friends down there though.

[Misunderestimator]

43. LOL.... Well...

Key West has much better things to offer than Key Lime Pie.

You should go... it's really a wonderful place, like no other.

[Zomby Woof]

44. WHAT??

Skinner's post resonated with me because I think one of life's greatest purposes is The Search for The Perfect Slice of Key Lime Pie. :D

I will keep your recommendation in mind... but meanwhile, I am heading to California, with which you may be familiar. ;-)

[Worst Username Ever]

38. Also urban.

Scooter/mopes pretty common in the city, at least during the summer. Plus I don't have to pay for parking. 125 MPG, and it is really a lot of fun. Much more pleasant drive to work with wind and no traffic or parking stress.

[Misunderestimator]

41. I LOVE them...

And always rent one when I go to Key West. I'd get one of my own, but I'm a bit wary of the drivers around here.

[GiovanniC]

46. Fuck You All, I'm Gonna Drive One of These!

Or, alternatively, I could just wear a sign around my neck that says

I HAVE A SMALL PENIS