My epiphany for the night: love is never a waste.

[SarahB]

I see a lot of people around here post a lot of threads about relationships and finding that special someone. A lot of times people are down or feel in some way rejected or hurt. I'm not going to go into depth here, but I have not had an easy road to say the least. I have been very loyal and giving to men I've loved in the past and it often feels futile and painful given some of the ways I've been treated. People who don't know me or know me very little think my life is easy based or some sort of superficial nonsense. It's not. I just don't choose to bask in the negative.

One thing I have learned though is every time I've ever truly loved someone, I've grown from it in some way. Sometimes it took awhile. Sometimes I had pain. Ultimately though, even the most difficult of times brought me something and for that I'm grateful. No, love is never a waste because it makes you feel and change and grow. It is a catalyst for new beginnings and important changes. It is our very humanity. We can't control how others behave, so if someone can't be what we need for whatever reason or hurts us, it's not necessarily about us. Take what they were able to give for what it was and put it away in a special place and say goodbye. Learn about yourself, but don't shut down. Be cautious, but don't base every decision on fear in life.

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace." The Dalai Lama :loveya:

[redqueen]

1. SB you are freakin awesome, you know that?

:loveya:

[BrklynLiberal]

2. Beautifully said, and a wonderful lesson.

:loveya:

[merh]

3. Tis better to have loved and lost

'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson ~

:loveya:

[In_The_Wind]

4. well put SarahBelle

life without feeling is merely an existence ... shutting down does more harm than good :hug: I believe positive energy brings positive results

[nini]

5. I agree completely

As much as I think I wish I hadn't experienced a past hurt, it did help me grow as a person. Also, it definitely makes me see how special what I have now is.

I know now exactly how I deserve to be treated and loved. It took a long time to get here but I have arrived.

I wish you the same 'soon' :hug: :-)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

6. You're absolutely right, Sarah Belle

The failed relationships, even the unrequited crushes (not that I seek them out), have all forced me to expand my horizons or learn something about myself or the world at large.

At the very least, you learn a LOT about who is a good match and who isn't.

[truthbetold]

7. Aw, that made me cry.

I can really identify with what you're saying, because I've had a lot of hurt in my life too.
Thanks SarahBelle, that meant a lot to me.

[Pale Blue Dot]

8. My epiphany for the night:

I have a massive crush on SarahBelle. And thanks to her beautifully written thread, I can finally abandon my fear and just say it. :loveya:

Really, Sarah, did you know that some people spend their entire lives trying to write something with just half of the beauty and truth of what you wrote?

I repeat: I have a massive crush on SarahBelle. :loveya:

All right, you win this battle of the saps. But the war is not over.:P

[SarahB]

30. You know, Finnfan....

I'd have to say I have a bit of a crush on you as well.
You're single. I'm single. (We're both goofy uber nerd suburban liberal parental types too freakishly pale for words and less than 200 miles apart. :P)

What are we going to do about this here crush, huh? You're a film dude (ok, perhaps higher caliber films, but I digress), so here's a riddle for you. How about let's play "name that 80's movie line from the picture"? (See if you can decipher my puzzle.)



:7

[Pale Blue Dot]

31. I'm not sure if you know how funny it is that you picked that one.

Something we haven't discussed that you might have discovered or remembered:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0102787/

Entry #10. And check out his bio, too. :D

Otherwise, it's 6 in the morning so I'm a little slow, and I have no idea what you're saying. :shrug:

Well, I know vaguely... :D :loveya:

[SarahB]

32. I knew this a little...

but Roy Walley? How ironic! :wow: And Montclair? (Which I know you already said, but it didn't all click totally.) I'll give you a better explanation privately. ;)

[Redstone]

9. Oh, yes. Even unrequited...

And if you fall off the horse, your ass is gonna hurt really bad where you landed on it, but you have to get back up on that same son of a bitch of a horse that just threw you anyway, because if you chicken out because of taking one lump on the ass, guess what...you're going to be walking home instead of riding, and how do you think your ass will feel after that?

And furthermore, you'll be walking everywhere from then on because you'll be scared to get on another horse and ride.

All because of one sore ass.

I know this isn't particularly poetic or romantic, but if you read it, you'll find the truth. Guaranteed.

Redstone.

[nuxvomica]

10. You've made me think, SarahBelle

Maybe I read your post at just the right time or maybe you said it just the right way but it's made me think and it's like a couple of aspirin. Thanks.

[libodem]

11. That Dalai Lama quote is beautiful

and so apt...the act of loving and caring brings inner happiness and peace...and that's the feeling I like about love, that inner happiness and peace. Luckily I'm not hooked up so I don't have anybody disturbing it.

[Swede]

12. I wish there was an easier way.

Heartache is exactly what it says it is.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

13. Love is a charade. What is love but some hollow attempt at shrugging off

the cold and heartless fingers of oblivion? If there was such a thing as "love" why would we be be such miserable husks of trauma and hurt sulking our way from one sucking chest wound to the next? I say give up on meaningless attatchments and focus on the filth and bile of this so called existence - that way we will never be hurt again.

[elshiva]

14. I agree. It is just too painful...

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

19. Kill me!

[jpgray]

20. It took me a disturbing few moments to discern what that was exactly

In the context of the thread, I hope you'll forgive me.

:dunce:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

21. I tried for the shot of the woman in Aliens begging for death...

damn Google image search inadequateness - KILL ME!!!!!

[elshiva]

33. No, kill me!

[LastKnight]

15. thats why i love this place.

you see exactly what you need, even if you dont ask to see it.

thanks Sarah, i defenatley needed that. and yea, ive thought about it alot latley myself, and youre right.

[jpgray]

16. Yes, I think I'm falling in love with myself again

But I can't pretend to any real talent at it.

[Blue-Jay]

22. The talent is being able to switch from one hand to the other

without missing a stroke.

[jpgray]

23. Nonsense. It's not a flippin' relay race (nt)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

24. You'll create sparks if you aren't careful!

[Blue-Jay]

25. How do you think fire was first discovered?

Some ambidextrous jerking Australopithecus. That's how.

[jpgray]

27. Africanus or vanilla? (nt)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

28. Um....This guy???

Is that why our beds are burning?

[tigereye]

38. hey you!

Peter Garrett is cool!


:spank: ( that's for that gross pic, too.)

[jpgray]

26. Kimono my house (nt)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

29. No...um...yours!

[BikeWriter]

17. Uh, are you one of my exes?

[Zomby Woof]

18. Eloquent and wise

Exactly what I expect from Sarahpants! :loveya:

You always deserve the best. :hug:

[all.of.me]

34. i agree

it hurts when relationships end (friends AND lovers!), but ultimately we learn from them. each person comes into our life to teach us something. once they give it to us, they leave. or we leave. we can never go back to that person, because we've both grown beyond what the relationship was.

if we don't get something out of a relationship, we'll keep repeating the same mistakes until we get it.

thanks for your thoughts!

[Java]

35. I am not entirely so sure...

Love hurts and it does change us...

But sometimes, Love can be too powerful and can kill us...
Nothing like being suicidal over someone...

[all.of.me]

36. we need to maintain our own power in the event that

we encounter that much pain. killing yourself over someone else makes no sense. a boy in our town just did that. he drove his car into a deep river gorge. what a waste. there are plenty of resources out there for free. find them if you ever feel like that!

we will continue to love and continue to get hurt. the thing is to learn from it and move on.

[gauguin57]

37. Never say never.

You never met the yutz I wasted YEARS loving. That was ABSOLUTELY a waste. I want every moment back that I spent with him.

Love isn't ALWAYS a waste, but occasionally, sorry to say, it surely is.