My bf (now ex) is a big fat ass liar (long rant)

[MissHoneychurch]

Yesterday I found out that my bf is full of bullshit. He has two other girlfriends beside me. I don't live in the same town as he does. One of the other girlfriends called me last night after she found out about me the day before. He was together with me since May 2004 and with her since September 2004. She lives closer to him, saw him more often then I did. Even went on vacation with him. No wonder he always had to work on the weekends and was away on business trips. She also told me that he never went to Africa for half a year. The whole time since March when I thought he was in Africa he actually was in Germany. I only chatted with him. But that almost daily. Girlfriend Number 3 even visited him some weeks ago. He asked each of us to marry him. He went to the States Wednesday and comes back Monday. I haven't chatted with him since Monday. What a coinsidence, huh? The girl who called me found a letter from me when she took him to the airport. She asked him who I was. "Just a friend". She didn't believe him and told him she would call him. He freaked out.
I believe her. The time pattern fits. She is done with him also.

I am so shocked right now. I don't know yet how I will react Monday excpet that I won't buy his bullshit. It is going to be interesting how he will get in contact with me. If he still tells me he is in Africa and didn't had the time to chat because of whatever reason (as he did before) or he will call me and tell me he is back early. He told me that he maybe doesn't has to stay the whole six months.

How fucked up is that?????? I thought I found the love of my life. Just to find out that that love never existed. That I loved a big fat lie.
I can't cry right now. I didn't sleep good last night. Woke up every hour, dreamed even about this shit. This makes me just sick.

Thanks for reading

[BlueIris]

1. Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

That is INSANE. I bet you are in shock.

[MissHoneychurch]

3. It is insane

I will talk to the girl again. We exchanged numbers. I wanna ask her some more questions. We talked for an hour yesterday. I couldn't grab everything she told me yesterday.

[KitchenWitch]

2. OMG I am so sorry to hear that

You deserve so much better than that....

:loveya:

[MissHoneychurch]

5. Thank you Kitchenwitch

:hug:

I really thought I found THE man. Guess I was wrong.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

4. I am so sorry .

:hugs: I am really soooooooooooooooo sorry . I know how you feel - I know exactly how you feel right now .

[MissHoneychurch]

7. what happend on your side?

:hug:

I could scream.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. Ok I am going to send another PM .

[MissHoneychurch]

13. ok

do you want me to come online at yahoo?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

18. Yeah I am signed in now .

[MrScorpio]

6. Mein Gott im Himmel!

I am so sorry.

I can't fully express my sorrow for you.

All I can say is this, Karma's gonna get him. Payback's a bitch

[MissHoneychurch]

9. I am just glad I found out

before I married him. Or moved in with him.

And another thing she told me is that he is already 45 (not 35 as he told me).

[MrScorpio]

12. I bet that there are plenty of things he lied about

More than you'll ever know

[MissHoneychurch]

I know enough

thank you very much. I am lucky enough to have a very supportive family and friends. I am going to the Lake Constance today after work (was planned before I found out). Will have a lot of comfort there also.

[hfojvt]

36. Is that the Bodensee or some other lake?

I thought Konstanz was really neat, although I did not buy the book I went there to find. Plus I kinda got lost in the downtown. Originally I intended to goto Schweiz through Schaffhausen, but I am glad I visited Konstanz. Is that a train trip or a car?
My mom's family comes from the Konstanz area, way back in 1852 (okay, actually a little bit north around Rottweil-Spaichingen-Tuttlingen, but Konstanz was the regional capitol.)
Anyway, that is awful news, and I am sad/angry for you. The people in this world can be so horrible sometimes.

[MissHoneychurch]

38. yes it is the Bodensee

my aunt lives on the Island Reichenau. Konstanz is beautful. But I can't imagine how you could get lost there though :)

The situation is fucked up. But I will get over it.

[hfojvt]

48. I was lost so bad, the person giving directions

had to switch to Englisch. I thought - just get me to the Bodensee and I can find the Bahnhof. Apparently I was further off than I thought, but I did manage to find a bookstore that had the type of book that I was looking for - a history of Konstanz in two volumes. But it was about 100 DM (not a bad price really, all things considered) and the index did not mention Durchhausen or Seitingen-Oberflacht very much.

[enigmatic]

8. Holy crap!

I'm so sorry; if I were near you I'd go and breaker the fucker's kneecap for free.

I'm really sorry:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

10. Thanks

that made me smile. I talked to my brother last night. He told me he would come with me if I didn't feel like confronting him myself. My brother lives 5 hours away from me and would have to take a day off.

[HamstersFromHell]

21. Sorry to hear how you've been treated.

That's just so not right.

I know it's gotta hurt, been in similar situation in the past myself.

:hug:


If you're going to contact one of the others, might I suggest you all 3 try to get together, and have all of you present when you are supposed to meet him. You might even make 2 new good friends out of it if you all keep your attitude right.

I think the look on his face will be priceless when he expects to see you with a sack of lies and finds all 3 he's lied to in one place.

Then just tell him "I think you know my new friends, and we've got some questions for you." It might hurt, but you may get some real satisfaction out of watching him squirm, knowing one of the three of you will call him on each lie he's told and there's no way in hell he's gonna wiggle out of this one.

Revenge is a dish best served ice cold.

I'm glad you found out sooner than later.

Best of luck to you and keep your chin up. Not all of us are like that.

[MissHoneychurch]

27. I might just do that

at least with the girl who called me. She is in contact with Number 3, who lives in Japan. But it might be a good idea to show up at his place with her unannounced.

[Robeson]

14. I'm very sorry MissHoneychurch....

...you're one of the good people, and it is his loss. He doesn't deserve you.

[MissHoneychurch]

16. Thank you

seems like he got himself only good women. How can a person lie so blantly? He seems to have a lot of practice in that.

[LastKnight]

15. holy crap.

on behalf of the male half of the species. i apologise.

im sorry for your bad runin with a jerk. dont dwell on him, if hes doin that shit, he dosent diserve you.

i cant say much other than hang in there. ive been cheated on once, but not to that extent. it hurt when she went off with some other guy, i couldnt imagine being in your situation.

:hug: for you.

[MissHoneychurch]

17. thanks for the hug

I still can't believe he lied so extensively. Without scruple. It really sucks.

[knowbody0]

22. i was in the same situation

number one girlfriend was a shock, number two knocked me out. he'd been the soulmate i'd yearned for all of my life for seven years. ah, the memories.
i now see him as a coward, a liar and a thief.

[MissHoneychurch]

62. exactly the same

are we talking about the same man?

[knowbody0]

132. MissHoneychurch

i thought about you today, and am compelled to post again. My BF left me with an STD, a gift that keeps on giving. this bottom feeder has put your very life at risk with his behavior. the other two women engaged in what i consider vaginal combat in order to come out number one with him. they both now have Herpes and vaginal warts, one has been diagnosed with cervical cancer.
you sound as if you have a wonderful support group of friends and family. peace and love.
i am kate

[Kathleen04]

19. Wow..

Unbelievable.. x( All of his lies are catching up to him..

I'm so sorry things turned out this way.. :grouphug:

[MissHoneychurch]

20. i am glad they catched up on him in time

before I got deeper in that shit.

[Heidi]

23. Look at it this way . . .

You're young. You're smart. You're beautiful. And you're free. It's better to have found out now, than to have become one of many of this guy's SOs on various continents. Do whatever you need to do to heal yourself, and you'll be standing upright and watching when the karma hits the fan for your ex.

Take good care of _you_, my friend.

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

28. thank you

believe me, I am more than glad that I found out now.

I have my family and friends who support me more than everything.

[smartvoter]

24. That sucks. I'm very sorry for what happened.

Just try not to let it bleed into your next relationship. People who do shit like this have a way of wrecking the next go-around by making people jumpy and suspicious.

And there will be a "next" relationship. Don't give him any power over that one...

P.S. Had a similar experience. Ended up with the person of my dreams -- 11 years now.

[MissHoneychurch]

29. the next relationship will be not too soon

I have to get over this bullshit first. I need to get clear with it first. I am sure I won't let it bleed in the next relationship. I am way to trustworthy when I meet someone new and he sweet talks to me.

[smartvoter]

123. That's probably a very wise decision. Best wishes... nt

[OffWithTheirHeads]

25. does he know that you know?

Knowledge is a very valuable commodity. You could, if you choose, really fuck up his life! I happen to subscribe to the school of thought that says FUCK HIM!!! And I am a male. I just don't like to see people used.

[MissHoneychurch]

30. the girl told him she would call me

so he can imagine that I know. I will find out Monday or Tuesday I guess how he will talk to me.

[fleabert]

26. where is he in the states?

I will rip him a new asshole for you.

Sounds like a serial liar, you are lucky to get away now, rather than marrying the prick and having kids or something. consider it a blessing, and thank the other gf for contacting you. Get tested for everything, cause he probably had more girls that he just messed around with, and didn't 'commit' to. It's fuckers like that that give men a bad name.

so sorry you are having to go thru this, it's the extreme of fucked up relationship problems.

[MissHoneychurch]

32. I think right now he is somewhere around DC

I got tested in November. Everything is fine. He freaked out back then when I had a yeast infection. Found out yesterday the other girl had an infection at the same time.

Better an end with shock than and shock without ending. And all his lies make it easier for me to get over him.

[Gemini Cat]

31. Wow!

Sounds like he needs an attitude re-adjustment with a sound ass kicking.

[MissHoneychurch]

33. I guess it won't help anymore

I am just glad I am done with him

[IChing]

34. Fuck him he's an asshole

obviously has issues that need to be looked at

We men
are not all bad......sorry

Our instincts sometimes don't listen to our hearts or hormones and vice-versa.

[MissHoneychurch]

35. I just have a hard time finding someone who isn't an asshole

so far I had no luck.

I guess I saw him too seldom to seeing something was terrible wrong. the other girl was with him more often and found out faster. i am a very trusting person. He used that.

[bettyellen]

37. i think you should plan something evil.....

pretend you don't know and make him squirm and then dump some gazpacho on his head.
feh, i'm sure you don't even want to see him again. most of us have been lied to, you just had the luck of having a run in with a real pro. sorry to hear that.
:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

39. I like the idea here that I go with the other gf to him

then he can't deny shit.
I am more and more sure I don't wnat to see him alone. I know me and if he talks sweet to me I might get soft again. He is good at it. And I want to avoid that for all costs.

[bettyellen]

40. trust yourself on that.

i know what you mean. i think we all have the capacity to allow someone to do a number on us.
it's hard to believe stuff is a bald faced lie, right?
been there. very disconcerting, to say the least.

[MissHoneychurch]

41. right now I am in a shock

and I can't believe that someone is really able to lie so good for over a year. That is disgusting and very hurting. To find out that the person you thought you love is nothing else but a big bubble full of lies.

[bettyellen]

43. well, my big liar did love me....

a lot. and that's why he lied. he was hiding a mountain of freakish problems. LOL. he wanted to suck me into marrying him, waaay too fast. you wouldn't believe how freaky it got. we were stuck in the rainforest for a day and a half more when i found out.
i managed to keep him too drunk to fuck for 36 hours, becasue i knew he would flip when i dumped him.

[MissHoneychurch]

44. I don't know if he really loves me

I think he some feelings for me otherwise he wouldn't have been together with me. Otherwise he is a very good organizer. and I need to keep that in mind.

[bettyellen]

46. i should have said "love" becasue he believed it, but it was immmature

and he was deceiving me, so it really ain't is it?
he's probably as in love as he can be...... i think people like that are afraid of confrontations, or afraid to be thought badly of. it's selfish and disrespectful, so it ain't good love.
which is why i think you should do it, can the other woman fake not knowing? maybe you could arrange to both meet him when he gets back-- whoever he makes plans with first, the other lurks.
my asshole tried to knock me up. he was that desperate to make things stick. when i realized that, i turned stone cold on him. not funny disrespecting me like that. very fucking sneaky.

[MissHoneychurch]

49. I will talk to her over the weekend again

I though of that also already that in case he calls her she shouldn't tell him she called me. And then both of us showing up at his place. That would work perfectly against his schemes. I really like that idea more and more. I can take a lot of shit but what is too much is too much. She told me when she first found out about the Japanese girl he sweet talked to her and got her back. But she didn't believe him everything anymore. And I won't believe the shit he will tell me begin of next week.

[bettyellen]

53. wow i hope you gals get him good.

...it would be great to have this woman's support. no one else knows and understands his bullshit as well as you and her. maybe you can let ms japan in on it with a conference call when you two are done. LOL. do not spare him for a moment, make him feel like the pile of shit that he truly is. insult his technique, his body whatever you think will hurt him, even if it's a lie. you owe him one.

[bettyellen]

55. oh oh oh , say you're brnging pizza, then say you forgot to stop and

phioned in an order. and then she delivers it. or vice versa.
fuck with his head for five minutes. please do it for all of us!

[MissHoneychurch]

56. that might be tough

he has a beautiful face and body. And I thought his mind and soul are the same. Boy, how wrong I was. I will talk it over with the girl. I have the feeling she will like the idea. She had the Japanese girl calling her one time when he was together with her. He went nutz. Just imagine his face when he sees both of us - I think that might be worse the pain he will give me when I see him again.

[bettyellen]

57. every man is insecure about something.....

and if you think about it, you'll figure it out. everyone has a weakness, and he exploited yours. turnaround is always fairplay.

[Tsiyu]

42. Dayum, Woman!

What a shock! You could really have some fun with this, but the suggestion to confront him together sounds peachy!

Here is something to cheer you up:



and something else:







:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

45. ah Tybee ...

thanks :hug:

you made me smile, thank you!!! Wish I could get in the car and drive there and just sit at the beach and let the waves wash all that dirt off me.

[Tsiyu]

47. You could stop off here

We'd polish the Sebring and load it up with provisions and go check out the menfolk on the coast. You'd forget all about that pig who hurt you in short order.

I'd take you to the North Beach Grill for some margaritas and Jamaican Jerk chicken and introduce you to all the good bad boys ;)

[MissHoneychurch]

50. sounds wonderful

but to fly to the US would hurt me a lot right now.

[Tsiyu]

51. Yeah, and if Liar Boy is in DC you might want to hunt him down

and rearrange his face!

But someday...you will get back to Tybee and so will I! Just think about good times to come and screw the losers who have to hurt other people...there are lots and lots and lots of mens out there, Girl, just looking for an awesome person like you.

[MissHoneychurch]

52. aw thank you

:hug: :)

can you please tell me where to find those men? :)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

54. Let them find you .

;)

[MissHoneychurch]

61. I am sure sure not searching for the next time

beside I found out that it doesn't help to search for Fortuna. I have a good job, good friends. That is worth a lot.

[Tsiyu]

59. LOL! Well, I'm still looking for them myself, actually

but someone told me they're out there and I really want to believe it so.....I will keep looking...... When I find them, I will post their whereabouts here on DU. Promise ;)

in the meantime DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO LIAR BOY'S WEB!!!!!!!


Good luck and let us know what transpires....

[MissHoneychurch]

63. I will keep posting about what happens next with him

it will be interesting but also hurtful

[In_The_Wind]

58. now we know what the *A* in his name stands for ...

asshole:nuke:

we could have added him to my lying eyes thread that I did this past weekend!!!

you remember this guy>>><<< you saw all of him ... hopefully you'll get over your *asshole* faster than I got over mine

sorry sweetie :hug: no one deserves to be treated that way

[MissHoneychurch]

65. thanks Joani

yes, he would fit into that thread perfectly. I think with his lies he made it easier for me to get over him once the first pain is gone.

[In_The_Wind]

68. YOU deserve so much better!

it's guys like him :nuke: who turn nice loving women into bitches ... don't go there!

warm weather is honey hunting time ... I'm not saying go out and fall in love again ... but my best advice is to go out ... date ... laugh ... have fun ... happiness is the best revenge ... the more you laugh about anything the sooner you'll get over that jerk .................. you're free ~ enjoy it

[MissHoneychurch]

69. you can be sure that I won't stay home and cry over him

at least that I is what I will try to avoid. Crying over him. He is not worth it.

It is amazing how from one moment to the next you have to adjust new because everything you believed is not there anymore. Gone. Not valid anymore. It scares me.

[In_The_Wind]

70. life turns on a dime

one day you're cuddling together inside with a raging blizzard going on outside ... the next day you're trying to find ways to avoid the pain when the *love of your life* is inexplicably gone



or like my friend Jo Anne Sable ~ one minute you're paddling your kayak along in a quite estuary the next ~ your time on earth is over



make the most of everyday MissHoneychurch ... life is far too short to waste time mourning for what we've lost ... cherish the good memories and go on ... anger can be wasted energy

[MissHoneychurch]

71. you are right

the shock is leaving me slowly and anger and hurt are taking over. I am so glad I am at my aunt's this weekend.

[In_The_Wind]

72. take your camera and spend your time finding beauty in life

new growth, flowers, baby birds anything but crying over what's lost ... because your dreams can still come true but with someone else who is better suited to be the rock that you lean on when times are tough ... the good guys are still out there

just breathe deeply and find your beautiful self again minus the asshole ... because *A*'s actions do qualify him to be called that!

[MissHoneychurch]

73. I think I will jump in the lake tomorrow

and clean myself of him. Sit on my aunt's terrace and enjoy the sun. And relax and try to cut him out of my brain and heart.

[In_The_Wind]

74. it takes time

be gentle with yourself ... letting go of him is better than cutting him out

your feelings were genuine ... you will feel that way again:hug: he is the real loser because he may never know love

[MissHoneychurch]

79. I will be gentle with myself

but not with him

[In_The_Wind]

84. agreed

men like him can be dangerous ... their reputations should reflect their activities ... have no mercy in that respect:nopity:

[MissHoneychurch]

dupe

[MissHoneychurch]

86. and the bad thing is

once we got rid of him he will be charming over the next girls and finding new victims. That just sucks.

[In_The_Wind]

89. that sucks

and at 45 there must be more than a few broken hearts because of ... what was his name again ... something like A______ ?

[MissHoneychurch]

104. it really does

at least three intelligent women got rid of him now. And Mr. Fucker can kiss my ass. I won't let him fool me again.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

60. i'm sorry for the suffered deception.

what an asshole, gives the rest of men a bad name. I hope you'll find ways to adequately fry him. Sadly i heard too much of stories like this from victims and bragging liars and cheaters. Finding a good companion is much like nightsky - some small bright spots surrounded by empty darkness. Unfortunately good humans are not as easy to spot than stars in nightsky.

If you should take a trip to the southern neighbouring country capital send me a pm. would love to meet a fellow DUer.


Strenght and healing to you. :hug:

Niccolo

[MissHoneychurch]

66. thank you, I sure will

my mom lives ner Basel and I will be going to the Bodensee this weekend. So I am not so far away. So sure I would love to meet other European DUers also.

[redqueen]

130. "some small bright spots surrounded by empty darkness"

Wow... love the way you put that! :hi:

[billyskank]

64. Very sad, although I'm glad you did find out about it

You don't want to be going out with that asshole. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

67. not anymore

maybe I become friend with the other girl. Would serve him right.

[ReadTomPaine]

90. She's certainly did all three of you quite a favor...

If everything's on the level, I'd get her something nice for what she's done. She knocked over that house of cards quite nicely, not everyone is capable of what she did.

[MissHoneychurch]

91. I am on the phone with her right now

we are exchanging quite interesting stories.

[NewJeffCT]

75. I'm sorry to hear that - you deserve better

what an asshole.

[MissHoneychurch]

78. you bring it to the point

thanks :hug:

[xmas74]

76. You tell him to fuck off!

I can't stand that kind of shit.

[MissHoneychurch]

77. that is what I wanted to tell you yesterday

beautiful, huh? :puke:

the shock is wearing off, now I am getting really pissed and I have a whole weekend to think what I will tell him.

[xmas74]

82. I kept missing you.

I had to wait on the first round of fundies to hit my house.

I wish you were closer, more like Stateside-then you could have just called. some nights it's impossible to catch me.

He can just fuck himself.

[MissHoneychurch]

85. how did you survive?

I knew your family would show up. I was just hoping you would be there. I talked last night to two friends and my mom and brother. They are all ver supportive. I am very glad about that.

[xmas74]

88. Round one is here.

They are sleeping right now while I'm at work. They were very friendly but I am worried about the whole conversation thing later on.

[BlondieK143]

80. Oh shit. I'm so sorry!

What an asshole! I know it hurts right now, but he doesn't deserve you! And one of these days - you'll find the amazing one that does.

[MissHoneychurch]

81. thanks Blondie

the support I am getting here from you all helps me a lot.

[BlondieK143]

83. We're always here for you.

:hug: I've had to lean on DU a lot too in the past and one thing's for sure - people are always here. Hang in there.

[MissHoneychurch]

87. believe me

right now I am more than glad that I found DU. it really helps to talk/write about it. good way to get it out of the system.

[Sugar Smack]

92. SICK.

That is the sickest shit I've ever heard of. You are such a beautiful person. And I've seen your picture, and you're gorgeous as well. I'm remebering that thread about how your bf was going to be away for six months, and how much you'd miss him, and he was LYING TO YOU THE WHOLE TIME. Thank God you got tested and you're ok.

That story made me physically ill. Good luck in hurting him back (and I've never had to say that to anyone before).

:hug:

Well, all I have is some more pictures for you, a minor escape. These are pics I took in Paris.



ps, another :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

96. nice

but what happened to the guys head in pic #6 ... hmmm maybe that's the way *A* should feel ... headless cause he sure as hell is clueless in what it takes to be a decent human being((( :grr: )))

:hi:

[Sugar Smack]

124. Oh, those are two people hugging!

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

115. thank you for the hug and the beautiful pictures

it is an escape I need.

Yes he lied pretty much from day one to me. And I fell for it. He is a very good liar.

[JanMichael]

93. You cannot even remotely imagine how lucky you are

What if you had married the son of a bitch?

Don't even bother to see him, unless he has something of yours.

Things get better with men as you get older; I don't even like straight men that much anymore--almost zero respect for them.

Stephanie

[MissHoneychurch]

95. he still has some things from me

I am 30. How much older do I have to get to find someone who is worth it?

Believe me, I am more than glad that I found out now and not when I am married to him.

[JanMichael]

97. I was 39 when I met JanMichael

My last total weirdo jackass was dumped when I was 36. Sometimes it just takes awhile!

I can't stand motherfuckers like your ex.

Steph

[MissHoneychurch]

100. Me neither

I just talked to the other girl again. We agree on a lot of things.

[Misunderestimator]

99. 30? You're a baby. :)

Seriously, though... this one needs to be dumped immediately, and I love the idea of you confronting him with the other woman. I've been lied to and cheated on too many times to mention, but never a whole life lie like that. What possesses people to do these things?

(And I was 42 when I met the one who was worth it.)

[MissHoneychurch]

101. Oh he is dumped already

he just doesn't know it yet :evilgrin:

He will as soon as he gets back in contact with me.

[tjwmason]

94. Wow, and oh my goodness

:hug:

You really don't deserve any of this crap, you're such a beautiful and charming person you deserve a real man - not some dishonest pile of horse-manure.

[MissHoneychurch]

102. thanks for the hug

one day the one who deserves me will pop up. Guess I have to be patient.

[GOPisEvil]

98. Oh that sucks.

What an absolute jerk. I hope karma pays him a nasty visit.

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

103. oh it will

he gets dumped by three women at once. That is a start.

[GOPisEvil]

106. I wish I was there to see the look on his pathetic little face.

You deserve so much better than a jerk like him.

[MissHoneychurch]

108. that is the only thing I want to see from him

the look in his face. But the other girl told me he will just walk away and not talk. Scary little ass.

[GOPisEvil]

111. So in addition to being a liar, he's a coward?

He has a future in Republican politics. ;)

[MissHoneychurch]

114. yep

when girl number two confronted him with girl number three (the Japanese) he walked out of her. Too scared to handle his shit.

[Debbi801]

105. I am so sorry...

What a slime. I am so glad you found out now and not after you married him.

I hope he gets what is coming to him.

:hug:

Debbi

[MissHoneychurch]

112. I hope so too

thanks for the hug.

[Brewman_Jax]

107. I am sorry to hear

and I remember how you were looking forward to his return. At least you now know the truth. :cry:

[MissHoneychurch]

109. better late than never

... hmmm ... are you still avaiable :)

[Brewman_Jax]

117. Thanks

but you live too far away. I wish you lived closer, too. :dunce:

[MissHoneychurch]

119. I did

in 1996 /1997. Was in Savannah then :)

Guess I have to make another trip to the States :P

[Brewman_Jax]

120. A trip to get away from him

sounds like a spendid idea. You need a break. I didn't know that you had lived in Savannah.

[RPM]

110. yowsa - get tested

if this guy is such a damn liar, you should get tested. God knows what he's been up to.

Sorrry for you pain, but glad you got out before getting in too deep.

[MissHoneychurch]

113. got tested in December

everything is fine.

[newportdadde]

116. You should all confront him together. Scare him straight.

My friend had that happen to him. He was stringing along two women dating them both. One day he actually had sex with one in the morning and then the other one that night. :evilfrown:

They knew of each other but thought the other had been dumped, till one of them found his cell phone. Anyways he calls ups Y and says "I'm going to be out of town this weekend" Little does he know Y and X are standing together in X's apartment. He then gets to X's apartment opens the door sits down his stuff says "Hi babe" and at that moment Y walks out from behind the corner.

Suffice it to say he has never done that again.

[MissHoneychurch]

118. I am afraid he will just go ahead

and get the next women. There are enough who will be falling for him. He is good looking and a sweet talker.

I will talk to the girl again tonight. We will then decide what to do to get it back to him.

[Mutley]

121. Oh this is whats going on! What a jerk!

I so sorry! :hug: He's one of those psychos who has two or three families around the country. It's a good thing you found out now and not after you married him.

[SarahB]

122. What a creep!

I'm so sorry. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

125. Let me say you are so better off without this POS!

I know it hurts now, but be thankful that you found out. You are too good for that sack of shit. And BTW, sounds similar to Scott Peterson... I'm just sayin' :hug:

[leftofthedial]

126. love stinks

don't it?

[GreenPartyVoter]

127. I am SO sorry *hugs* I will tell you what

when you are feeling better, write this into a novel, sell it for big bucks and have the last laugh on the way to the back.

Seriously. It works for me. (Well, except for the big bucks part. I haven't actually managed that bit yet. *g*)

[Java]

128. Courage

Dear MissHoneyChurch,
I am sorry that this horrible thing has happened to you. Periods like this are the most difficult parts of our lives. It really hurts us when we love someone, only to discover that the person we loved has betrayed us in such a horrible fashion, and that his professed "love" was nothing more than a cruel sham.

Go to a really good friend or relative of yours, who has a nice warm shoulder, that you can lean on and cry. Just let it all out. The grief will come and go in waves, like midwestern thunderstorm. Just cry and let it all out, and pamper yourself.

Be thankful that you found out about this "loser" before you married him. Although it hurts like crazy, it is a blessing in disguise. And don't worry about this loser that you were in love with. Life is a balance, and someday this fellow will reap what he has sown. Just cry, and give the people you love a big hug. Don't worry, this will all go away.

Be brave my Love.
Always be brave, and have hope.

Someday you will find the real "one", and the two of you will fall Madly in Love with each other. He is out there, somewhere. Just be brave and smile.

We are all rooting for you!

[redqueen]

129. Aww sweetie...

I'm so sorry... Jesus... sucks to know that people can be such assholes.

:pals:

My unsolicited advice is that you just don't speak to him at all. Cut him off, completely, now.

[pilgrimsoul]

131. I hate that he has treated you so terribly

You deserve much better and one day, you will find someone who deserves you.

Whatever you do in the meantime, don't stoop to petty revenge. It would be just awful if you posted his photo and a profile on a lot of raunchy fetish XXX websites, or phoned in an anonymous tip to the IRS that he cheats on his taxes, or carefully dribbled tuna water all over the upholstered parts of his car interior and maybe even inserted a few shrimp shells deep into his air conditioning vents, or called every batshit religious cult within 100 miles and signed him up for a "visitation," or had booked a male stripper to come to his office and perform in the middle of the workday. That just wouldn't be right. <snicker>

[Sugar Smack]

134. LOL!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

Thanks for that. Welcome to DU!!

[Redstone]

133. Time is the only thing that will heal you.

I'll always tell you the truth, even if nobody else will.

You're going to feel awful for a while. But it will get better.

And you must remember one thing, even if you never remember anything else: The fact that someone else did something bad to you does not mean that you are a bad person.

Do not under any circumstances, think that you did something to deserve this, or that it might not have happened if you had done something differently.

Trust me on this.

Redstone

[Samurai_Writer]

135. Are you sure this isn't my ex-husband?

He pulled the same kind of crap -- WHILE we were married. He was 'engaged' to two women while still married to me. Funny thing was, the two women knew about me... but he was such a pathological liar, he had them convinced that he only had married me because I was extremely ill and wanted to 'make my last years bearable'. Not only that, but I found out he had slept with at least 5 women (probably more) during our 2 1/2 year marriage, and had lied about his education, military history, medical history, marital history, children... everything.

It's been 7 years since that disaster and I still have not had a serious relationship with a man. It's hard to trust anyone after an experience like that.

Bella
*sending you lots of hugs*

[Darth_Kitten]

136. Thank goodness you are DONE with him...

truly, no loss. :hug:

I'm sorry for your pain, but it will get better. :) :hug:

[norml]

137. Sounds like a juggler, and he's just dropped his balls.