It is unbelievable - he is still bullshitting me [LONG]

[MissHoneychurch]

Last evening, Mr. Liar catched me on the computer. So we chatted. May I remind you that he hasn't contacted me since a week. When I asked him where he has been the whole week - no answer. I asked him, what is new - no answer. He was checking out if I knew about his lies. So I played his game a bit, not telling him I knew. Since I am not such a good liar, he figured I need to know something. I had my webcam on (only after he told me that normally I put it on right away) and I can't pretend I am happy if I am not. So he sees my face and he sees that my writing is not what he is used to. So after a while I tell him that I know everything. He keeps bullshitting me. It is just unbelievable. He tells me how sorry he is, that he needs forgiveness, that the Japanese girl never was with him begin of June .... He never answered a question of me straight, he kept trying to sweet talk to me.
Here an example:

MrLiar: my problem is that I fell in love
me: with whom? Y.? Me? S.? Another one?
MrLiar: I became weak
MrLiar: Y. has been out of the picture for a long time.
MrLiar: I was never with her
me: so why were you with her in Greece last August and why was she in Stuttgart in June?
MrLiar: She was never here in June.
me: yes she was
MrLiar: Last year January was when she was here
me: BULLSHIT
MrLiar: i know
MrLiar: don't have to explain
MrLiar: its so
me: you have a fucking whole to explain but you are too fucking scared that all your lies blew up
MrLiar: so they did, and i lost control
MrLiar: it backfired in my face, i have to admit it
MrLiar: i hurt you ladies badly
MrLiar: and im sorry for it
MrLiar: i know forgiveness is out of the question, it would seem
me: what makes you believe I will ever believe you a single word again?
MrLiar: because i know u, N.
me: no you don't
MrLiar: you are a better person than that
me: not in that way
me: yes and I deserve better than a liar
MrLiar: come on, people change
me: how old are you A.?
MrLiar: all i need is forgiveness to make things better
MrLiar: i know i need to get my shit together, but i can't go on without forgiveness
me: maybe you should start with yourself. Without any of us
me: and you are still not answering my question
MrLiar: that's what i am saying
MrLiar: what question
me: how old are you?
MrLiar: you already know that
me: you tell me
MrLiar: you said u know everything
me: yes I do know. I just want you to admit it
me: because it is another fucking lie
MrLiar: if u know then i don't have to say

and so on

He is saying he is still in the States, till July 6th. Whatever. He wants to meet me when he is back. I told him ok, I meet him. Told him he better calls me at least a day before he shows up. Because I want my brother with me when I meet MrLiar. Of course I didn't tell MrLiar about that.

The saga continues ....

[fleabert]

1. what an asshole. tell him you will pick him up from the airport,

then don't show. change your number and block him on IM. Never speak to him again...he doesn't deserve you even speaking his name, much less speaking directly to him.

not another word is my advice (that you didn't ask for, LOL!)

[MissHoneychurch]

5. I would

but he still owes me money. And I want that back. I told him so yesterday also. He said he will give it back definitely. He wouldn't be like my ex-bf (who owes me even more money, which I will never see again). That is the only reason I am willing to meet with him.

[alittlelark]

17. Write off the $$$ as a 'lesson learned' deduction.

This guy sounds creepier than my Father-in Law.... and that's reeeeal creepy.

[Maddy McCall]

20. Amen. And then she should seek counseling for why she is attracted ...

to creeps and loans them her money.

Cut him off, and write the money off as a hard lesson learned.

[MissHoneychurch]

22. tell me

we talked about marriage. I had no reason to not believe him. It was the first time he asked me about money.
Now the other one .... I still ask me the question why I gave it to him.

[Maddy McCall]

23. Believe me, I am not ridiculing you.

I've been there. I did get help--and it changed my life.

[MissHoneychurch]

25. oh I believe you

and I know that I am too trustworthy.

[Maddy McCall]

27. Mine was a desire to be loved...at any cost.

I sacrificed my whole being to the person I was dating. I decided to start dealing with the problem when I also sacrificed my health to an abuser.

:hug: Take care of YOURSELF.

[MissHoneychurch]

29. that might have been my problem with the ex also

wanted to be loved. Scared to be alone again. But after some time it started to get on my nerves how he treated me. Never believing me. He even got jealous of pictures. I only saw him on the weekends. I was actually glad during the week not to see him and was not happy to see him every weekend. And then I had enough. It took me some time to realize that he was trying to control me (I had a better job and more money than he did).

Thanks for the hug. I will take care of myself. I also have the full support of my family and friends.

[Misunderestimator]

48. Like others have said... write off the money.

If he is going to return it because he should (because it's the right thing to do), then he will, whether you keep in contact with him or not. I made that mistake once. I was in for about $10,000 which I could not afford to lose with one relationship. She did pretty much what this guy did to you and betrayed me. I broke it off with her but kept in contact for that same reason... because I wanted her to pay me back. She actually did give me a check for a portion of it, which bounced. After that I broke off all contact, and I've not seen one dime of what she owed me. I even kept calling her bank for a few months to see if the check could be covered... it never could. (That was over 12 years ago.)

Leave him!!

[Droopy]

2. Drop him like a hot rock

Don't even talk to him anymore. It will get you nowhere.

[MissHoneychurch]

6. see my answer to fleabert

he owes me money. I want that back

[enigmatic]

3. He's an asshole

Seriously. Cut the guy out of your life as soon a you can; you deserve much, much better than this idiot..

[MissHoneychurch]

7. he will be out of my life

very soon. As soon as I have my money back.

[enigmatic]

9. How much money does he owe you?

I'm a lover, not a fighter these days, but I'll make an exception w/ this guy...

[MissHoneychurch]

12. € 1000

and actually so far I believe him that I get it back from him. I hope he doesn't prove me wrong on that. The other girls thinks also that he actually might give me back the money. He knows my history with the bf before who took me out like a goose.

[enigmatic]

18. I hope you get it..

I'm so sorry you have to go through this..

[MissHoneychurch]

19. thanks

I hope so too. This guy makes me sick in my stomach. And everything he told me last night proves me right.

[Maddy McCall]

21. Maybe your history of loaning money and not demanding repayment....

is why he borrowed money from you.

Some scammers know easy targets. Please don't take this the wrong way. You need to get some help from a professional as to why you allow yourself to be used like this.

Take it from someone who's been there.

[MissHoneychurch]

24. I was stupid with the other guy

we put a paper up that he would repay me. I was too stupid to get me a copy right away. Of course he isn't paying me back money.

this one I gave the money with the background that we were so close and trust each other that I would get it back

[nickgutierrez]

4. You did well.

I agree with the others - cut him out, totally.

[MissHoneychurch]

8. and he acted surprised

that I don't want him back. He thinks he can get me back when he meets me. He is dead wrong. And he will be surprised if he sees that I won't be alone when I meet with him.

[nickgutierrez]

11. Is your brother a big guy, by any chance? n/t

[MissHoneychurch]

14. about the same guy as MrLiar

but my brother works in a bookstore and has muscles. And just to know he is behind me so that I don't get weak will help me a lot.

[Kathleen04]

10. He seems to barely even

admit that he is wrong! He seems more sorry that you caught him than anything else. He looks like he's trying to paint it as a lapse of judgment, but from here it definately looks like it is NOT. This guy has major character issues beyond any "mistake".

I say you have every right to confront him again to get closure, but that's what it should be..closure, don't get involved with him again.

[MissHoneychurch]

15. you brought it to the point

when the other girl confronted him - same bullshit talking. He won't change, I know that. One last meeting and then I am done for good with him.

[Robeson]

13. Dear MissHoneychurch.....

...You need to cut the Gordian knot with this guy, whether he owes you money or not. He's no good, and seeing him will not change that. Odds are, you will never see that money anyway. Please take some advice from those who have posted here already, and myself: no good can come from seeing him, and there is no use in involving yourself with a situation that could always be potentially volatile.

[MissHoneychurch]

16. I won't let him in my apt

I told him that already. And as I said, my brother will be there with me. And he won't let me get weak.

[REP]

26. Good Idea To Bring Your Brother

Not just because your brother is on your side, but because it may keep the asshole from trying anything. I do think you should try to get your money back, but if he doesn't repay it immediately, it may be because he's looking for a way to still be in your life. It's a lot of money to let go, but it's a small price to get rid of a controlling idiot. Good luck!

[MissHoneychurch]

28. thanks

I need all the luck that is there. I am sure that if I would be alone with him he would be try everything to get me back. Once the meeting is over all his numbers and email and IDs will be deleted.

[NawlinsNed]

30. Don't meet him

He isn't worth your time and he's trying to play you like an idiot. Same shit happened with my sister. She was paying for a house to be built so that she and her husband (who hadn't worked since the house was built... he's a heavy machinery operator so it was solely his choice) could live there. My dad worked on the house quite a bit, so he and my mom took my grandparents out to eat on my grandfather's birthday.. and my grandparents went to look at the house afterwards. Guess what my grandfather found for his birthday present?

The piece of shit my sister married in bed with another girl. At 1pm in the freaking Sunday afternoon while my sister was at work. This guy has been a royal piece of feces his entire fucking life. He can't vote because he was an accomplice in stealing a safe from his neighborhood grocery store when he was a teen. He's got 3 DUIs to his record. He slept around on my sister while they were dating, both in high school and in college, but she didn't want to hear any of that stuff.

So I go over there, and he starts whining about how he didn't know how the girl got in his bed, and then it was that he wasn't drinking, but I could smell the liquor on his breath, and then it was that he drank the night before, and so on and so forth. Just about any bullshit that he could throw out just to get someone on his side.

And he got my sister to believe his bullshit. So now he's going to AA meetings, because it was the expedient thing to do, and because my sister is his once-in-a-life gravy train as a registered nurse who is pulling in damned good money for not even 4 years out of school.

Then she told me I had no right to judge him because I'm unemployed. You know what? Fuck him and fuck her. The best thing that could happen right now is for her to catch him screwing around with 5 other chicks. They deserve each other and I'm through worrying about her. I'm the one who carried her ass up a flight of steps when she broke her ankle, I'm the one who tutored her when she sucked at math, and I'm the one who was willing to let every fucked up thing he did in the past slide if she thought that he had grown up before she got married.

Don't fall into the same mistake. Don't let some backwards ass jerkoff give you puppy dog eyes and beg for more poontang. He doesn't give a shit about you and you shouldn't waste so much as another second listening to what he has to say.

[MissHoneychurch]

32. I agree with you

he is trying to play me. And that is why I want my brother to be with me when I meet him. Again: I wouldn't meet him if it wasn't for the money. I know why he wants to meet me. That is an advantage for me. He tinks he can pull me around. I know he won't. He will try to tell me that the other girl is trying to bullshit me. He had to admit that he was lying but he is not changing. I know that. I was so pissed last night when we chatted. He saw my face. He knows I am not taking him back. As much as he will try.

[BlueIris]

31. Yeah, cut this guy off.

Do whatever it is you have to to get the money back, but try to stop emotionally engaging with him so you can get the hell away, deal with the pain and move on.

Once again, my condolences. Sounds terrible.

[MissHoneychurch]

33. that is my plan

get me money and tehn kick him out of my life. Yesterday when I chatted with him all I felt was anger. There was no love left for him.

[Samurai_Writer]

34. I still think he's my ex husband!

We had an IM chat almost exactly like that, after I found out about his cheating and lying ways. Believe me, I know what you are going through. If you need to meet him one more time for your peace of mind, go ahead, but I can almost guarantee you will never see that money again, and when you do see him, he will still by lying and trying to get you to believe him and take him back.

The fact he won't even answer a simple question about his real age tells me he is very, very disturbed. Run away. Far away.

[In_The_Wind]

35. are you sure he isn't a politician or a lawyer

sweet talkin, kissin up, lyin ... they're not all bad ... but some of them have perfected the art of deception :grr::nuke: like your ex-A

[MissHoneychurch]

36. no, but he studies management

fits also ... he sure knew how to manage us x(

I called a friend last night I haven't talked to in a while. When I told her everything (she met him) she was reminded of a man she was together with years ago. Same bullshit lying.

[In_The_Wind]

41. it's a well polished act

some women aren't as strong as you ... the outcome for them can be even worse ... remember Leslie ~ there is a real danger in loving somebody too much

[MissHoneychurch]

45. Leslie?

my mom gave me a card on Saturday. It has a really good poem outside and she told me she knows that he won't get me down. And he won't. Not him. Not such a liar.

[In_The_Wind]

55. she wasn't strong enough

and now there are three teenagers down in Louisiana without a mother when one phone call could have changed that .... some people truly are morally bankrupt

[MissHoneychurch]

57. sorry, I haven't heard of her story

but it is truly horrible.

[In_The_Wind]

64. I'll send you the details

by PM later ... it still makes me both angry and sad because she was a lovely person who loved the wrong man far too much

[MissHoneychurch]

67. ok

I will be online tonight. maybe we can chat if you are home.

[In_The_Wind]

71. I'll be here

yahoo me ... as of Thursday ... text messaging or computer will be the only way to reach me ... with 5 parrots in the house I'll never hear a phone ring or a conversation

[GOPisEvil]

37. This guy is a world-class bullshitter.

I wouldn't see this guy again for all the tea in China. Cut him off completely.

Edit - I would send your brother to collect the money owed you. I think he's hoping to make payments in person over time so he can win you back.

[MissHoneychurch]

39. he sure is

maybe I write him an email with my account information. That way I don't need to see him again.

[GOPisEvil]

40. See my edit above.

I wouldn't give this guy that kind of information.

[MissHoneychurch]

44. true also

I don't think he would give my brother the money. Thanks for the advice

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

38. Lonely hearts unite my friend ...

:hug: I have completely broken up with my soldier bf and it hurts so bad so I know exactly how you are feelng . Times like this I wish I had a cold heart so that I would'nt feel so much pain .

Here is to better times for the both of us :toast:

[no name no slogan]

42. My sympathies to you too

My wife of nine years announced she was done with our marriage on May 12. That little "announcement" threw me into a major depression, a week at the hospital and a bunch of other crap. But now, I haven't felt so good in years. I'm a new person. In hindsight, it will probably be the best thing that ever happened to me.

Everything happens for a reason-- even if we don't know what it is.

:grouphug:

[MissHoneychurch]

43. awww sorry to hear

at least he didn't lie to you as mine did.

We will find us better men for sure :toast:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

68. I am not even sure if I want another guy ...

and I am not turning lesbian either - I just vow to never fall in love again ... thats how I feel right now .

[MissHoneychurch]

70. same here

right now I feel like I can't never trust a man again. And that truly sucks.
We both thought we found the right one. We both were wrong.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

74. I can't sleep ...

everytime I fall close to sleep everything just comes back to my mind again .

[MissHoneychurch]

75. I sleep

but every time I wake up first thought is this guy with all his lies. And that in the middle of the night. Doesn't really help me to go back to sleep.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

78. And you know what ... Its still all just me ...

everything happened because I overreacted ... I just don't know what to do . I did not sleep at all . I am forcing myself to go to work because it will occupy my mind . But I know that everything is going to be good soon :)

[MissHoneychurch]

79. I wish it for you

it will take some time for me.

Even though you might have overreacted he wasn't ready for you if he couldn't deal with it

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

80. Thank you :)

:hug: Alles wird besser im Morgen . Ich wunsche das fur uns beide :)

[MissHoneychurch]

81. Ich mir auch

we are strong women. We can survive and live a good life without men. They are just the icing on the cake :) :hug:

[Misunderestimator]

46. You've GOT to drop this guy!

There was really no doubt before, unless the other woman has been lying... but by this conversation it's clear she wasn't. He doesn't "know you" at all... and don't fall for that ploy. He's attempting to reach that part of you that thinks that love conquers all. Well, it doesn't. Not unless the love is reciprocal, and in his case, it obviously isn't.

Get out... you're young. Don't waste one more moment on this cretin.

[MissHoneychurch]

47. he is dropped already

another example:

me: call me at least a day before you come.
Mr Liar: yeah, i will...is there anything i can do to change your thinking
me: there isn't
MrLiar: come on
MrLiar: I know u better than that
me: I lost my trust in you. And you know trust is the most important thing in a relationship.
MrLiar: you are a rational person
me: when it comes to my well being yes. I don't like to get lied to
MrLiar: did u tell the family about this
me: yes
MrLiar: EVERYBODY???
me: the important ones.
MrLiar: shit!
MrLiar: I am fucked then.
me: you were before I told them
MrLiar: ic
mMrLiar: there are a lot of things i have to say, but not today
me: you were fucked the minute I found out about your biggest lie being in Nigeria, making me believe that while you were sitting in Stuttgart

[Brewman_Jax]

49. G'day, MissHoneychurch!

I read the IM's, you can't fault a guy for trying to get you back. I can't argue the "just drop him" motif, unless he owes you a lot of money. Problem is, you may see only part of it, if you see any at all.

[MissHoneychurch]

50. he told the same things to the other girl

would you want a woman back who lied to you over a year, who had another relationship going on while together with you, who lied about her where being?
I can forgive. But not such big lies. And he owes me €1000.
I don't even know who he is. I feel like I loved something that wasn't there.

[Brewman_Jax]

53. Sorry to hear

I agree with you; I wouldn't take him back. (you knew he was going to try. ;) ) I've tossed possible girlfriends over less.

1000 Euros, it could be worse. A friend of my mother's was taken by her (now ex-) boyfriend, who she knew for years, for $50,000. He was an aspiring musician and producer, that's where the money went. He's disappeared and she'll never see any money returned. :cry:

[MissHoneychurch]

56. maybe I would have even believed him

but I know he told the other girl EXACTLY the same thing.

Yes, it could be worse what he owes me. I had it worse. I will not run after it. I know it wouldn't make sense

[Brewman_Jax]

59. Peace of mind...priceless

and I hope that you don't have to put up with Mr. Liar much longer. He's not worthy of you.

[MissHoneychurch]

61. Right now I am so full of anger

that I can't mourn. I know sooner or later I will cry. But my anger helps me at the moment to get what I want and not get weak in any way.


Edit: Thank you :hug:

[Brewman_Jax]

66. You're welcome

when does he return to visit?

[MissHoneychurch]

69. he says he will be back July, 6th

IF he isn't already back in Stuttgart. I tried to call him on his home phone yesterday but he didn't pick up. Didn't try his cell.

[Brewman_Jax]

72. That's next week

no use trying his cell, he'll know it's you. Will you see him at the airport or later on?

[MissHoneychurch]

73. he wants to come to my town

I already told him that I won't want to have him in my apt. He doesn't want to meet in his town. I think he is scared that the other girl shows up too. I don't really mind him coming up here. That way I don't have to pay for the gas or train. And my brother has a shorter trip. I told him to call me at least a day before he shows up. Then I can tell my brother to come here.

[Brewman_Jax]

76. I'm sure

that you have a neutral place or shop where everyone will meet.

[MissHoneychurch]

77. and if I have to talk to him on the street

he is not putting one foot in my apt. I know he will try. A la private talk bla bla bla .... Not with me.

[newportdadde]

51. This guy is playing you.

I posted in your previous thread when you found this all out of how my friend did essentially the same thing. He also went on to doing what he is doing now. Finding the one of you he thinks he can still get too and playing all his chips to get you back and once he does he will probably cheat again.

Don't talk to him. Block his IM, dont answer his calls etc. Forget the money he wont pay it, he will keep that out there as an excuse for you too keep talking to him. Don't ever 'loan' anyone money again, in a court you would loose they would consider it a gift.. You don't want to keep this going and end up with a stalker or something going violent.

Just pretend that he died, in a way its true the good man you loved did die, that guy doesn't exist anymore.

[MissHoneychurch]

52. I give him the one last chance to give him back my money

if he doesn't, I will drop it. I did the same with the other guy who owes me money. In the end it is "only" money. I won't stay in contact with just because of that.

[Shell Beau]

54. Kiss his ass goodbye!!! He doesn't deserve you!

[MissHoneychurch]

58. no he doesn't

I told him he lost a good woman. His loss. Not mine.

[Shell Beau]

60. Absolutely! The hard part now is staying

true to that and not giving in to this jerk. It can be so easy to be sweet talked and to believe their lies so badly. Just stay strong! You'll find the guy that deserves you soon!

[MissHoneychurch]

62. that is why I want my brother to be there with me

he offered it and I am more than glad to have him there. I am not in much contact with my brother. But he sure is a big brother :)

[Shell Beau]

63. That is what big brothers are for!

Good luck to you!;-)

[MissHoneychurch]

65. Thanks

:)

[radwriter0555]

82. You should ask to borrow about $5000 from him...

and then go shopping.

[MissHoneychurch]

83. LOL

I wouldn't even know WHAT to buy

[radwriter0555]

86. Doesn't matter. Just ask for the money!

Why the hell not? He feels real guilty, so PLAY the sucker!

[MissHoneychurch]

88. he is not feeling guilty at all

I just talked to the girl again: After he chatted with me yesterfay. supposingly still in the States he called HER!!!!!! She hang up on him. No, he is not feeling gulity at all.

[ecstatic]

84. a friend of mine went through something similar

She never met him, it was all online and through the telephone. He always talks about "travelling" here and there, which of course, is why he has never been able to visit her. Every time she is close to moving on, he calls with some BS. He's obviously a liar, and I think he is married too.

[bettyellen]

85. just remeber he thinks forgiveness = permission to cheat again

some women are willing to stay on this merry go round for years.
he's just hoping that you are one of them.

[redqueen]

87. That's exactly why I say the best thing would be to end all contact.

Nothing will change... it's just frustration and confusion you're asking for.

Cut him loose...

[MissHoneychurch]

90. I just hear another story

I went with him to the Christmas market and gave him a Lebkuchen heart saying "I love you". The oter girl just told me he gave it to her. Telling her he went to a Christmas market and got her the heart. It is just fucking unbelievable.

[redqueen]

91. UGH!

That's it... I don't know how you can even stand to THINK about talking to this jackass again.

I'd send him an IM (if he's NOT online) tellinghim not to contact you, remove him from your list, block his phone number, etc...

[MissHoneychurch]

93. I want my money

easy as this. Or not easy. I actually just tell him ym account info, tell him to wire it and to stay out of my life.

[redqueen]

94. Oh my God he OWES you money?!

:banghead:

Okay yeah, I can see how you'd need to get that back... damn.

[MissHoneychurch]

95. unfortunately

see my posts above about the amount.

Otherwise he would be out of my life completely already

[redqueen]

96. .

:pals:

[MissHoneychurch]

97. thanks

I need to go to be now. It is 12.30am and I need to get up in 6 hours. Need my beauty sleep :)

Good night :hug:

[tjdee]

89. "You are a better person than that"--than to kick his ass to the curb?

Honestly?

LOL, he's trying to guilt you into forgiving him!

What an assclown. His problem is that he "fell in love". With someone he never even named.

Man, Miss Honeychurch--sorry he's not the person you thought he was.

[MissHoneychurch]

92. thanks

when I think about him now I only feel anger and no love whatsoever for him. it is gone. All his lies made my love die. With every bit I learn new about his lies I know more and more he won't even have the slightest chance to get me back. None whatsoever. He is history.