Worst song ever

[JVS]

I Wanna Sex You Up

Come inside, take off your coat, I'll make you feel at home.
Now let's pour a glass of wine 'cause now we're all alone.
I've been waiting for you girl, just let me hold you close tome,
'Cause I've been dyin' for you girl, to make love to me.

Girl, you make mee feel real good.
We can do it 'til we both wake up.
Girl, you know I'm hooked on you,
And this is what I'll do...

I wanna sex you up.
All night.
You make me feel real good.
I wanna rub you down.
I wanna sex you up.

Let me take off all your clothes.
We'll disconnect the phone so nobody knows.
Let me light a candle,
So that we can make it better.
Makin' love until we drown.

Girl, you know it feels real good.
We can do it 'til we both wake up.
Girl, you know I'm hooked on you.
And this is what I'll do.

*CHORUS*

Make sweet lovin' all night long...
(I wanna sex you up)
Feels so right it can't be wrong...
Don't be shy girl rescue me...
(i wanna sex you up)
Open up your heart and I'll set you free...

[kick-ass-bob]

1. You know, I thought there would be some competition for this Title:

but I was wrong.

You have found it.

[Burma Jones]

2. Seasons in the Fucking Sun

Followed closely by Honey.

There were so many horrors perpetrated on the radio in the 60's and 70's

[davidinalameda]

6. that song makes me want to slit my wrists

and THEN OD on vodka and pills

and THEN jump under a bus

[Burma Jones]

16. Now that's flamboyance

I admire your style.......

[davidinalameda]

22. it's the song

what can I say, I'm inspired

[AntiCoup2K4]

3. The Godawful fucking Titanic theme

Dishonorable mention:Any other Celine Dion song.

[Initech]

65. Yes, pretty much any Celine Dion song would work just fine.

[Shell Beau]

4. Anything by J.Lo

[StopTheMorans]

5. "vertigo", by U2

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. Hoo-rah! You've definitely found the answer to this question!

Not only does the song immediately win for its incorrect and superfluous use of Spanish, but it's fucking horrible anyway.

[AntiCoup2K4]

34. If you guys are gonna keep this tired joke going.......

...why don't you pick something truly awful like "Discotheque"

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

36. Discotheque didn't have an uber-annoying iPod ad.

[AntiCoup2K4]

39. OK, the ad was overplayed.

But in terms of songs, "Discotheque" was far worse. or "Lemon", for fucks sake.

[LynneSin]

8. Not only do I love that song - I have their greatest hits CD

:eyes:

I have a wonderful tale of great sex that goes with the song

[RPM]

PM that story to JVS and me

since no sex threads are allowed....

[LynneSin]

12. We'll leave it at that, but I can say...

...he was a gorgeous college basketball player

[Momgonepostal]

9. You know what makes this song even worse?

Have you ever seen the video? The guys in the band are so...geez I don't want to be offensive, but here the song is supposedly sung to a woman but the band is so darn gay looking. As a female, it was tough for me to imagine those guys "sexing" any woman "up."

Again, no offense intended, honest. I'm just one of those whacky women who doesn't get turned on by men who are prettier than I am.

[AntiCoup2K4]

37. Only thing good about that video is when it was on Beavis & Butthead...

They thought it was actually George Michael, Kenny G, and Vanilla Ice. They called them (accurately enough) "a Super SUCK Group" :evilgrin:

[jmm]

10. Let the Eagle Soar

http://www1.cnn.com/video/us/2002/02/25/ashcroft.sings.wbtv.med.html

[LSparkle]

32. OMG you just outdid me

I was going to say "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka but Assssssscroft's little ditty is like nails on a chalkboard. Well done!

[ceile]

11. "What's Going On" 4 Non-Blondes n/t

[Strawman]

13. "Fancy" by Reba

I can't stand it so much I don't know anything more than a few words in the chorus. I maintain a Reba-free zone of about a 150 yard radius around myself at all times.

[AlCzervik]

14. "Iraq and I roll" by Clint Black

I RAQ AND ROLL"

Words and Music by Clint Black and Hayden Nicholas

YOU CAN WAVE YOUR SIGNS IN PROTEST
AGAINST AMERICA TAKING STANDS
THE STANDS AMERICA'S TAKEN
ARE THE REASON THAT YOU CAN

IF EVERYONE WOULD GO FOR PEACE
THERE'D BE NO NEED FOR WAR
BUT WE CAN'T IGNORE THE DEVIL
HE'LL KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE

SOME SEE THIS IN BLACK AND WHITE
OTHERS ONLY GRAY
WE'RE NOT BEGGING FOR A FIGHT
NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY

WE HAVE THE RESOLUTION
THAT SHOULD PUT'EM ALL TO SHAME
BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF DEADLINE
WHEN I'M CALLED IN THE GAME

CHORUS
I RAQ, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
I'M BACK AND I'M A HIGH TECH GI JOE
I PRAY FOR PEACE, PREPARE FOR WAR
AND I NEVER WILL FORGET
THERE'S NO PRICE TOO HIGH FOR FREEDOM
SO BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU TREAD

THIS TERROR ISN'T MAN TO MAN
THEY CAN BE NO MORE THAN COWARDS
IF THEY WON'T SHOW US THEIR WEAPONS
WE MIGHT HAVE TO SHOW THEM OURS

IT MIGHT BE A SMART BOMB
THEY FIND STUPID PEOPLE TOO
AND IF YOU STAND WITH THE LIKES OF SADDAM
ONE JUST MIIGHT FIND YOU

CHORUS II
I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
I'M BACK AND I'M A HIGH TECH GI JOE
I'VE GOT INFRARED, I'VE GOT GPS AND I'VE GOT THAT GOOD OLD FASHIONED LEAD
THERE'S NO PRICE TOO HIGH FOR FREEDOM
SO BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU TREAD

BRIDGE
NOW YOU CAN COME ALONG
OR YOU CAN STAY BEHIND
OR YOU CAN GET OUT OF THE WAY
BUT OUR TROOPS TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE
FOR THE GOOD OLD U.S.A.


I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
IN THE USA
I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE USA

[1monster]

15. So did anyone send Clint Black and Hayden Nicholas enlistment

papers?

I'm thinking of printing some up and placing them on the windshields of cars sporting Bush.war supporting bumper stickers with a note that tells them to put their lives where their bumper stickers are.

Seems to me those two gentlemen should put their lives where their song is.

[tigereye]

27. ick

somehow I managed to miss that... :eyes:

IT MIGHT BE A SMART BOMB
THEY FIND STUPID PEOPLE TOO
AND IF YOU STAND WITH THE LIKES OF SADDAM
ONE JUST MIIGHT FIND YOU

yup, just blast anyone who disagrees with you... (sarc)

[Momgonepostal]

38. Lyrics like this bug me

"I'm back and I'm a a high tech GI Joe..."

No, you're not, you're a celebrity for goshsakes and aren't a GI anymore than those protestors. Toby Keith has a song that that too, where he's crooning about being an "American Soldier." Dude, you're not! You're rich, you sing for a living, you probably get manicures.

[AlCzervik]

40. worst song ever? I think clint Black delivered it.

[CBHagman]

55. Please! Some of us are eating!

What a nauseatingly puerile song.

[General Zod]

63. OOOOOHHHH.....That's painful to read......

Imagine having to listen to it.

[Emops]

67. Why hate U2 when you can hate crap like that?

[Blue Belle]

17. Here are a couple:

"Don't Worry... Be Happy."
"Shiney Happy People"
"Feelings"
"Barbie Girl"

OR

Anything sung by: The Spice Girls, Celine Dion, or any "boy band"

[RPM]

19. does that include the beatles

they were certainly a boy band at the beginning...

[Blue Belle]

20. I should be more clear...

Any group like : NSINC, Backstreet Boys, Meneudo, New Edition, New Kids on the Block... basically, if the group is/was formed by "Mickey Mouse Club" Alumni.

[tigereye]

28. but

at least Shiny Happy People was meant as satire....

[Blue Belle]

35. yes...

but still annoying. :)

[tigereye]

43. I love the Kate Pierson back-up on that song

n/t

oh well, suum quique. :)

[Blue Belle]

44. I love her too...

Big B52's fan... but I just don't like that particular song. :)

[onager]

18. I nominate this weiner...

Bob Carlisle's "Butt-Fly Kisses." Maudlin, blubbery, and on some level, just plain ICKY.

And Carlisle...you know where you can stick your little white flowers.

WARNING: Diabetics probably shouldn't read these lyrics:

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes,
And I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all...

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair,
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today, she's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you don't mind,
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right,
To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time, like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly, spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today, she'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over…gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses...
I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember...
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

[Blue Belle]

21. OMG... Yuck.

If you want a quick way to drive your guests to drink, just play this song at your wedding. :eyes:

[aeolian]

23. Still not as bad as "Blinded by the Light"

:puke:

At least this song has more than one verse. :eyes:

[RPM]

24. you got lyrics for that turd?

here they are

Madman drummers bummers and Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder feelin' kinda older I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground
Some all-hot half-shot was headin' for the hot spot snappin' his fingers clappin' his hands
And some fleshpot mascot was tied into a lover's knot with a whatnot in her hand
And now young Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-menot whispers daddy's within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band

And she was blinded by the light. Cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight, but she'll make it alright

Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
He says "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in its funny bone, that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner all alone watchin' the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance

Yeah he was blinded by the light. Cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. Blinded by the light
He got down but she never got tight, but he's gonna make it tonight

Some silicone sister with her manager's mister told me I got what it takes
She said I'll turn you on sonny to something strong if you play that song with the funky break
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe to go outside
And little Early-Pearly came in by her curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Oh, some hazard from Harvard was skunked on beer playin' backyard bombardier
Yes and Scotland Yard was trying hard, they sent a dude with a calling card,
He said, do what you like, but don't do it here

Well I jumped up, spit in the air, fell on the ground, asked wich was the way back home
He said take a right at the light, keep going straight until right, and then boy you're on your own

And now in Zanzibar a shootin' star was ridin' in a side car hummin' a lunar tune
Yes, and the avatar said blow the bar but first remove the cookie jar, we're gonna teach those boys to laugh too soon
And some kidnapped handicap was complaining that he caught the clap from some mousetrap he bought last night
Well I unsnapped his skull cap and between his ears I saw a gap but he'd figured he'd be all right

He was just blinded by the light. Cut loose like a deuce
Another runner in the night. Blinded by the light
Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun
Oh but mama that's where the fun is

[tigereye]

29. huh

I always kind of liked that song. Few songs in that period of time had that many words...

of course it could have been the high school fog I was in. ;)

[RPM]

31. any song about douches is a bad song

he needs to enunciate...

[tigereye]

42. but the obscure and unintelligeible language

is what made it fun.

[CBHagman]

56. That was Manfred Mann's fault.

The Manfred Mann version got lots of airplay during the '70s. I don't think most people have the Springsteen version.

[Arugula Latte]

46. I still like that song. I'll admit it.

It's catchy. Different. I like the weird spacey riff before the chorus.

[dajoki]

30. springsteen's(original) is good

other one sucks:silly:

[RPM]

25. The Poopsmith Song - Poop in the potty, poop goes in the potty.

the song is enough to make one not want to have children

[JVS]

26. You mean this one

http://www.overtherhine.com/music/mp3rarity/Poopsmith.mp3

[VOX]

33. "Pushin' Too Hard" by the Seeds. Good only as an emetic...

Horrible band, way out of tune, the "vocals" are flat as hell, lyrics are trite and simplistic, the "song" has a total of two chords.

Some revisionists have actually claimed that the Seeds were "proto-punk," or the "ultimate garage band," but, in reality, they were bad. Ear-bleedingly bad.

If a mosquito could sing, it'd sound like Sky Saxon of the Seeds.

[onager]

41. Well, if you really wanna go all Sixties...

How about The Barbarians? Their drummer, Moulty, only had one hand. His other hand was a hook.

And yes...that was the ONLY hook The Barbarians ever had...

:rofl: Sometimes I just slay myself.

Some trivia about the one-hit garage classic "96 Tears." It was originally entitled "69 Tears" but the record company thought that was too risque, considering some of the lyrics:

And when the sun comes up, I'll be on top
You'll be right down there, lookin' up...

The lead singer of ? And The Mysterians is still around. He claims to be in contact with aliens, who are going to re-launch his career and make him the most popular singer on Earth. Or something like that.

The Mysterians bass player aspired to even higher levels of mediocrity, and eventually joined Grand Funk Railroad.

[MiniMandaRuth]

45. 'I'm Proud to be An American'

'Nuff said.

[donheld]

47. 'Nuff said!

Welcome to DU MiniMandaRuth :hi:

[onager]

49. Do you mean the Lee Greenwood horror?

The real title is even worse to us atheists: God Bless The USA.

"I'm Proud To Be An American" was a good, snarky song by The Tubes. IIRC, the Country Music Association, who obviously lacked a grasp of irony, actually gave them an award for it.

[The Donkey]

51. Did anyone ever hear . . .

the David Cross bit about this song? He really rips Lee Greenwood a new one for writing this crappy song in the first place during the first Gulf War, and then capitalizing on it again after Sept. 11 by re-issuing it as a "9/11 remix".

He basically starts singing the chorus, and when he gets to the part where the words go "and I'll proudly stand up! next to you, and defend her still today . . . ", he says:

Well, here's your second chance, asshole!! Here's your gun, plane leaves over there in about an hour, you hypocritical piece of shit! What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I've too many flags flapping in my ears . . . . Oh, I see, you can't make it, you've got another big gig in Branson, MO.

Priceless.

[jmowreader]

58. Dude, he wrote that song LONG before Desert Storm

In 1986, the fucking Combined Federal Campaign at Goodfellow AFB modified that song for a "fundraising presentation." They had this big rah-rah "if you give us money we'll give you a sticker and you can wear it on your security badge" meeting. They even brought out a crippled little kid to show us "where your money goes."

When we marched back to the barracks, one of the platoon sergeants asked me if I was going to give.

"No, sergeant, I don't believe I will."
'Why not?'
"Because I really abhor major violations of Army fundraising regulations like the one I just saw."

I got called into the company commander's office over that one...we dug out the AR on fundraising and--surprise!--it specifically said the kind of presentation we just saw was absolutely illegal. So my CO called the inspector general and shit rolled uphill for once...the Air Force post commander had to apologize to our entire battalion.

Incidentally, I did give that year. You could write in any charity you wanted. I gave $20 per month to the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, $20 per month to the American Civil Liberties Union, and $10 per month to the Democratic National Committee. Yes, I am the person responsible for your not being able to write in charities on a CFC contribution form.

[Initech]

66. Listen to the David Cross album

Shut Up You Fucking Baby!

It's great - he does a rant about that song. "Hello...... 9/11 remix!"

[Arugula Latte]

48. "I've Never Been to Me"

:puke:

Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
you're a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I have no doubt
you dream about the things you never do
but I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you
Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...
Please lady please lady
don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you
why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won't you share a part
of a weary heart that has lived a million lives
Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie
a fantasy we created about people and places
as we like them to be
but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love
sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I, I took the sweet life
I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring
the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free
hey lady I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me...
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

[alarimer]

59. I hate this song

Way worse than God Bless the USA. Women should have kids and settle down because being "free" sucks. Typical right-wing claptrap

[48pan]

50. Someone left the cake out in the rain!

[yvr girl]

52. Feelings

Was any song in the 70's more overplayed?

[onager]

53. Overplayed? Maybe...

Skyrockets in flight,
Taliban delight...

I updated it.

Then there was "The Pina Colada Song." But we don't have to talk about that one. Really we don't...

[Chichiri]

54. "Barbie Girl."

'Nuff said.

[DubyaSux]

57. This is the wost ever...

Not sure what the title is but it had that crappy:

I got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you got a brand new key...

[onager]

62. That was Melanie.

Who also horked up the infamous musical hairball: "Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)."

Which should have been "Lay Down (And Let A Trailer Truck Run Over Your Sorry Untalented Ass In The Rain.")

However, I have to say "Brand New Key" was used to really good effect in the movie Boogie Nights. Heather Graham uses it for background music when she's auditioning for a porn flick.

[Merrick]

60. Alan Jackson: Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)

that country fried piece of shit who cashed in on 9/11 big time with cockamamie lyrics like:

Where were you when the world stopped turning
That September day?
Teaching a class full of innocent children;
Driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
in a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her?
Did you dust off that bible at home?

Did you open your eyes hope it never happened;
And close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages;
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow;
Go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers?
Stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?

(Chorus)
I'm just a singer of simple songs;
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference
in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love.

I'm just a singer of simple songs;
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference
in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love.
And the greatest is Love.
And the greatest is Love.

Where were you when the world stopped turnin'
that September day?

[onager]

61. A-R-R-R-R-G-H-H-H!

But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, Hope and Love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is Love.

Oh shit yeah, and Faith, Hope and Love didn't exist anywhere in the fucking world until Jesus invented them. Right, you ignorant cock-knocking Ford-truck-advertising thumb-sucking Mama-loving road apple.

Even if I wasn't an atheist, that would piss me off.

And as we used to say in my part of the South--Alan, you need two of them cowboy hats. One to shit in and one to cover it up with.

[Initech]

64. I am insanely disturbed no one has said this one yet

"Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue" by Toby Keith

American girls and American guys
We’ll always stand up and salute, we’ll always recognize
When we see Old Glory flying there’s a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night when we lay down our heads.

My daddy served in the Army where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard ‘til the day that he died
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy in the Land of the Free.

Now this nation that I love has fallen under attack,
A mighty sucker-punch came flying in from somewhere in the back.
Soon as we could see clearly through our big black-eye,
Man, we lit up your world like the Fourth of July.

CHORUS
Hey Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist
And the Eagle will fly, and it’s gonna be Hell
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell
And it’ll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.

Oh, justice will be served and the battle will rage,
This big dog will fight when you rattle his cage,
And you’ll be sorry that you messed with the U.S. of A.
‘Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American Way.

CHORUS
Hey Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist
And the Eagle will fly, and it’s gonna be Hell
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell
And it’ll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.
Of the Red, White and Blue
Of my Red, White and Blue

[RPM]

68. i don't even consider that turd to be music

thus, it is not a song....

accordingly it's not worth mentioning...

But - you are right ; if it is a song, it blows

[Initech]

69. Then Toby Keith isnt really a musician either.

I hate him and his insanely patriotic pro war rah rah rah bullshit attitude.

[RPM]

70. its called logorrhea... n/t

diarrhea of the mouth

[RPM]

71. its called logorrhea... n/t

diarrhea of the mouth