make a will ... let someone know where it is

[In_The_Wind]

if you own anything ... including pets ... please provide written guidance as to your wishes if you are no longer here to carry on


my parrot may live on after me ... I am about to make a will so that she will inherit everything of mine to provide for her care

[johnnie]

1. I've often thought to make a will

If I croaked tomorrow, my family would be screwed. I have no kids, never been married and have no SO. I'm 40 years old now and the chance of something happening to me goes up each year I think.
So if I happened to kick it, my parents and siblings would have to figure out where everything is and what to do with it all. Half of me thinks it would be funny to watch from the other side, but I guess I would feel bad.
Maybe I should at least write some notes for people to find.

[In_The_Wind]

11. anything is better than nothing

otherwise the state decided for you

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. Since mom died dad has been very busy getting everything in order

so my bro and I will have very little trouble taking care of everything.

[In_The_Wind]

10. that really is a gift from your dad to you both

:hug:

[Hugin]

3. I have a map to each one of my carefully buried mason jars... Each stuffed

... with wads of cash.

Just kidding... A Will is an important thing for
everyone to have.

[In_The_Wind]

12. would you please PM me with a copy of that map

;)

[all.of.me]

26. just don't croak in the middle of winter (if you live up north...)

no one will get to your cash til at least spring!

i laugh, because i knew someone who did this with NO map! hahaha he couldn't find ONE container. he went nuts for years! haha it was very funny. to me, of course....

[crispini]

4. I don't think you can leave it to your parrot,

unless you're in Hawaii, didn't they just pass that?

[In_The_Wind]

5. then there must be a way to set up a trust fund for her

we are trying to work out complications of how to deal with the pets of a friend who passed recently ... her parrot and the dogs were boarded while she was on vacation but not even her 22 year old daughter can move into her mother's house to bring the dogs home - the child is devastated ... the 8 year old macaw will become part of our family

[crispini]

7. You'll have to see a lawyer, I bet.

Yes, macaws have quite a long lifespan, don't they?

[In_The_Wind]

8. Winston Churchill's macaw was 105 the last I heard about him

my Frodo is 4>

Morgan is the new addition>

[all.of.me]

28. beautiful birds!

a friend had a parrot that didn't like men. when a man would walk into the house, the bird would say, 'go to work!' which meant, get out of the house! it was cute.

[In_The_Wind]

32. Morgan doesn't care for most men

she fluffs out her feathers and then tries to become small and hide

[all.of.me]

29. sorry about your friend

i would see a lawyer to set up a fund for your bird. i wouldn't know exactly how, but state who gets the bird (with their prior permission, of course) then have the funds in an account that somehow goes to that person, and then again taking into account who that person could leave the bird to in the event of his/her demise. it get very complicated, i'm sure!

[In_The_Wind]

33. we are already looking for second and third generation caretakers

it will take a while to find someone young enough to care for Frodo 60 years from now

[HereSince1628]

6. Personally, I am wishing my mother had a trust rather than a will

I also wish she had not arranged that beneficiaries would recieve payment on her death rather than her estate.

After my experience with her estate, I've decided to put everything into trusts.

[In_The_Wind]

9. I have always provided the best care and conditions for my pets

some of my moves through out my life were based on the needs of the animals I've loved now I want Frodo to be taken care of if she outlives me as she should.

It isn't fair for me to leave decisions to people who love me and will be dealing with their grief. I expect to be around for many more years but why wait ... these are simple decisions for me now.



I'm sorry that settling your mother's estate was so trying for you.

[all.of.me]

27. what's the difference?

[Pale Blue Dot]

13. Wills are for the birds.

Well, in your case anyway. :D

[In_The_Wind]

14. sometimes wills should be for birds

and for the people who love them


:hi:

[Jamastiene]

15. I will do the same with my cats.

My guitars and my first edition copy of Making Tracks: The Rise of Blondie and my Koo Koo sign flasher (promotional item from the album) will be creamated with me, assuming it's legal to creamate things with people.

[In_The_Wind]

18. you're sounding realistic

the people who care about you will appreciate knowing exactly how you would want everything taken care of

[micrometer_50]

16. Should one leave passwords to someone?

:shrug:

[In_The_Wind]

19. I did when I was going in for medical test.

Families often treasure the last words and thoughts of loved ones.

[micrometer_50]

20. That's what I was thinking. n/t

[SOteric]

17. It's a good point you make. We'd all like to believe

that we'll outlive our pets and those we love, but life is truly a fragile thing. Any one of us could walk out the door and get hit by the beer bus tomorrow morning.

I adore my little kitty-faced pal. I would very much want him cared for in the event of my unplanned demise. I couldn't stand the thought of him being sent to the pound or even adopted out to a strange family. He's gotten used to having someone who understands his quirky little ways.

[In_The_Wind]

21. It's really a simple thing to do.

It is a way of continuing to provide for those we love when they would rely on our wisdom the most.

[hyphenate]

22. Since one of my best friends

died in 2003 intestate, I suffered beaucoup at the hands of her asshole son who pretty much excluded all of her friends when it came to her belongings. Her son, one of the biggest bastards in the history of mankind, even made the state bury her instead of providing her with a proper funeral. Marje had said she had a will, but it had never been revealed to anyone, and her son forbade anyone going to her apartment to look for it, saying he would have anyone who stepped into it arrested for B&E. In the meantime, the last of Marje's cats, Amanda, almost ended up at the pound because he didn't want me to take her--he was willing to let her die to satisfy his thirst for total betrayal.

From that moment on, all I could think about is how disappointed Marje would have been to know all her wishes were utterly rejected, and how her son treated her after her death. I swore I would always make sure my wishes were widely known, and that no one could ever question them if I happened to get killed or die.

I was glad to see that Hawaii recently added the ability to provide for pets after one's death--more and more states are coming to the realization that pets are essentially members of our families.

[In_The_Wind]

24. thank you hyphenate

Amanda's fate turned out better because of your persistence :hug: I'm sorry for the loss of your best friend Marje.

[hyphenate]

36. Thank you

Amanda is a good kit. She gets a little strung out from one of the bubbas, Jean-Luc, and was pulling out her fur in spots for awhile. But she's now 15 years old, and deserves a break, so I try to keep JL from her (he's 11 this year himself!). She likes to sleep in front of me, blocking the keyboard, whenever possible.

I couldn't have lived with myself if she had been put down because of the devil incarnate son. As I firmly believe in karma, I really hope that he gets exactly what he deserves at some point down the line.

[elehhhhna]

39. does he have children? If so, bank on it.

He's surely as good a father as he was a son.

What on earth motivated him to be such an ass, anyway?

[hyphenate]

41. No kids, thank goodness

He doesn't have a functioning reproductive system--halleluja! He was born with one testicle which didn't descend. And on his first sexual encounter, he had one of those erections that lasted several hours and had to be rushed to the hospital. He now has to pee like a woman (I suppose that's enough karma for the time being!).

How did he get like that? His father was an alcoholic and a thief, and the son took after him. When Marje was a treasurer of a group we were with, Sr. and Jr. were stealing checks from the checkbook that Marje had as treasurer and spending club money. They would take them from the back of the checkbook to keep Marje from knowing they were taking them.

Jr. was also a real nutjob on the 'net. He would go into chat rooms where women were "big" and had low self-esteem. He'd get to know them, and they eventually would pay for him to come and be their companion. He did this to about 10 or so women over a five year period of time. Once the women got to know him and realize he was a bastard, they would get enough money together and send him back home. At one point, he even stole Marje's car and the police found it at a bus terminal.

He always believed that he was somehow more important than most others, and he deserved to be treated as such. His father never worked--Marje was the sole breadwinner in the family. He took after his father in every possible way.

[all.of.me]

23. i agree!

a close friend of mine died last year and left no will. she DID leave with me while she was alive but, unbeknownst to me or anybody else, gravely ill, a note that had her life insurance policy number on it, her daughter's phone number, and 'you can have the beads' - we are both jewelers. well, i didn't know she was planning to die three weeks later, so i tossed the note. after we found her stone cold in her bed with a smile on her face, i told people that she wanted me to have her beads, and the family agreed. only to try and SUE ME for them three months later! oh geez...

and yes, the dog! her grandson, to whom the dog was given, decided it was not a city dog and needed the open expanse of the desert, his home. he suggested we find a home for it, which we did, and the new owner was crazy about the dog! but again, lawsuits were threatened that we stole the dog!

we told the family to NEVER contact us again, once that was straightened out.

yes - write it ALL down! it will save the people left behind immeasurable trouble, and may spare a few friendships as well.

[In_The_Wind]

25. well said genevat

while everyone is grieving isn't the time to try and make sense of things


friendships should be spared ... lawsuits should be avoided ... gentleness should be in everyone's hearts as they celebrate the life of someone they loved and lost

[all.of.me]

30. right.

my own grieving couldn't even happen for six months. at one point, i said, 'finally, i am allowed to miss barbara.'

[In_The_Wind]

31. I'm sorry for your loss of Barbara

also for the unnecessary stress you suffered:hug:

[all.of.me]

35. thank you. i strongly urge everyone to put everything in writing.

death is hard enough without any murkiness and ill will. thanks for the original post as a reminder.

[friesianrider]

34. ESPECIALLY if you have pets.

DON'T trust your relatives to take care of them. The shelter I volunteer at sees countless from people who pass and the family members even sometimes PROMISED the deceased they'd care for the pets and plop! Into the shelter they go as soon as the person's buried.

Definitely good to leave clear instructions about what to do with your pets (namely someone you really, really, really trust to care for them, and set aside a bit of money for them too.

[In_The_Wind]

42. well-meaning uninformed people think you can release birds

There are several varieties of parrots making their nest near the Miami Airport. However most birds that are set free haven't learned to forage beyond their seed dish.

I agree with you the best way to be sure that your pets will be taken care of is to set aside a bit of money in a trust for the pet to be disbursed on a regular basis for the rest of it's life and give what is left when that pet crosses the rainbow bridge to an animal shelter.

[RedSpartan]

37. Make sure you have something in your will about removal of feeding tubes.

Unelss you want Jeb and Delay to try and make those decisions for you. You know, because who knows better then they what your desires (and medical condition) are?

[elehhhhna]

38. Great! You can teach her to tell your executor where it's hidden!

[Shell Beau]

40. It certainly is a good idea! I have been trying

to get my g-ma to write one. I am the only granddaughter of the family and she wants me to have a lot of her belongings. But my aunt feels she should have all. My g-ma gave me all of her fine china and sterling silver silverware for part of my wedding gift. And my aunt hasn't given it to me yet. She was storing it for my g-ma, and it has been 3 1/2 years and she still thinks it belongs to her even though she was told it was my gift. She is single with no children. I have a feeling it will get ugly when my g-ma dies, but I'll just let her have the stuff. It is not worth the rift. But my g-ma will not do a will. I think it must scare her.

[In_The_Wind]

43. I'm sorry that your aunt isn't amenable to her mother's wishes.

Jo Anne's newest will was sitting unsigned on her desk as she left for her last vacation. She did say before departing that - if it is time to go ... she wanted to be in a kayak out on the river. She got her wish. An old will was just located so the estate won't have to go through court to be released.

Rachelle's father passed away only 4 months ago so this young 22 year old woman has lost both of her parents in a very short time.



Yes, people often put off making (or signing) a will perhaps it is too difficult to face.