The Real 10 Greatest Americans

[Sandpiper]

#10: Pat Boone

One thing I will say in favor of the Discovery Channel's list is that it blessedly leaves out the men responsible for what some will tell you is "America's only native art form," jazz. Did you know that most of the so-called "greats" of jazz weren't even white? While I don't have a major quarrel with Elvis' place on the list, why celebrate the man who only did half of the job? It was Pat Boone who took the music of Rock and Roll, then Rhythm and Blues, and stripped both completely of dangerous, jungle rhythms and Negro hyper-sexuality while leaving all those pleasing melodies in place, making music truly fit for mass consumption.

#9: Dan Quayle

I was both thrilled and proud to see both Presidents Bush and then the Almighty Reagan make the list, but what of this unsung hero who was every bit as qualified, capable and noble? The only thing that GW has, that Quayle didn't, is Karl "Batcave" Rove. Without someone to protect him from the cruel, spelling correcting, liberal media, Quayle was only alas a great American unable to grace us with his full potential.

#8: Yakov Smirnoff

I'll follow the example of the Discovery Channel list in including immigrants and entertainers on my list. Smirnoff is the best of both. After penning such classic lines as, "In America you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the party always finds you," it's no wonder he was president Saint Reagan's favorite comedian. Smirnoff serves as an example to other immigrants, who too often seek to maintain their own, inferior cultures, rather than wrapping themselves up in Old Glory. After years of hard work, his heartfelt patriotism and pro-America attitude have finally landed Yakovf at, what for my money, is the top of the entertainment pyramid: Branson, Missouri.


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http://ruthlessreviews.com/rants/erich/greatest.html

[Reverend_Smitty]

1. lol that list is great!

[Strawman]

2. That's great

I remember Wally George. He was like a sideshow act. Me and my dad used to crack up when he'd come on TV. Now he would be what...a moderate Republican?