OK, one more time, NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant

[Patiod]

unless she's wearing a "Baby on Board" t-shirt or she's going into labor right there in front of you and you can see the head crowning.

My posture is atrocious and I have something of a belly without being otherwise fat, and TWICE on a recent business trip people made some comment like "Would you like some coffee, or can't you drink coffee in your condition?"

Jeez, people - has no one every told you this is NOT a safe assumption to make just on appearance!!!!!????

//and, yes, I went out and invested in some extra-strenght undergarments, redoubled the efforts at the gym, and cut the wine and pretzel intake.

[progmom]

1. oh - that sucks!!!

:grr:

[iconoclastic cat]

2. At least they aren't rubbing your belly w/o permission!

If one more person touches Mrs. IconCat, I'm going to snap...

[purr]

8. I AM SO SICK OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!

:mad: Next person who does that is going to get it right back to them.

[iconoclastic cat]

14. Unless the kid is yours, don't touch the mama.

It really pisses me off, too. How don't people get that? Perhaps I should just start goosing anyone who does it. Oh, I'm sorry--you don't like me sticking my thumb in your butt? My mistake...

[Left Is Write]

37. Excellent advice.

I'm pretty persnickety about personal space, especially when it comes to complete strangers touching me.

[northzax]

27. good reply, actually

although I wouldn't risk the baby with some asshole.

my physical state is not for you to comment on (I'm over 6 feet, but not NBA tall) and people feel compelled to ask me how tall I am. For some reason it's always women. My most recent reply is "5 foot 3, why?" when they exclaim "no you aren't" I usually reply with something like "well, you're not 120 pounds/natural blonde/natural boobs, but I bet you tell people you are" for some reason it's cause for commentary. Look people, I want to to comment on my physical status when I'm lying on teh ground twitching, or you know me. The first time you meet me? get over it.

[hfojvt]

36. when asked how the weather was up there

the guy who played Bull on Nightcourt would respond "it's raining fists".

People often need to comment on how skinny I am, and sometimes infer that I must be weak too. I was carrying a sledgehammer around at a rummage sale, and somebody I never met says "you're gonna have to work out before you can use that" I really felt like giving him an instant demonstration. Of course, depending on my mood, I can joke about it too. While I was assembling satellite dishes, and we were running low on pipes, I said to the guy who brought parts to the assembly stations "I need some pipes" and flexed my arms.

Many people consider it a good thing to be tall, and some women who are 5'3" are sensitive about being short. Some guys are sensitive about being short too, but I always thought if I was shorter I would not look so darned skinny. So I would not get too upset about it, you're bigger than that. Tell them you are 6'6" and yes, you can dunk!

[northzax]

38. I am more amused than upset

I love the pipes story, by the way. I don't see it as a good thing or a bad thing, it's an accident of genetics (ok, given that both my parents are 6' or taller, not an accident, per se) nothing I had anything to do with. I'm also not that tall (6'5") sure, it's 99th percentile, but there are three people on my block (that I know of) taller than I. so it's just amusing that anyone would care enough to say something. and also amusing that, for some reason, it's socially acceptable to comment on certain physical characteristics and not others. I've actually had grown adults want to measure me. I mean really, what the heck's up with that?

some people are born white, others are born black, some people are born straight, others are gay, some have small breast, some large. none of those are things anyone would comment on in a bar when you first meet someone (so, how black are you?) sociologically, why is height somehow acceptable? and only in one direction, and probably only for men (my sister is 6'1" and she never gets it)

[BlondieK143]

3. Oh wow.

That sucks! :( I'm sorry!

[MissMillie]

4. I have an umbilical hernia

and have a bit of a tummy bulge too.

What's worse is that someone actually said to me, "aren't you a little old for that sort of thing?"

Holy cow.

[fudge stripe cookays]

7. Hey! I had one of those.

When I was a few months old.

Terminal "outtie" here.
FSC :hi:

[MissMillie]

16. I was born with mine

it repaired itself when I was a baby, but re-ruptured when I had my son. They repaired it surgically 3 years ago, and then I ruptured it again after my gastric bypass surgery (you know, when the doctor says nothing heavier than 10 lbs. he means it!).

I'll have it repaired again next year.

[Coventina]

21. Wow! Insult to injury!!

People are just clueless, aren't they?

[fudge stripe cookays]

5. Yikes!

S0 sorry dear Patiod. People can be so insensitive.

I'm expecting to get something like that very soon. I just lost about 30 pounds since November (and looked AWESOME about 2 or 3 weeks ago), but my recent diagnosis (MS), has sent my body into a tailspin, and I'm on massive doses of steroids to counter it. Plus, I've been depressed, so out came the Ben and Jerry's.

My freaking ankles are SO HUGE I can't get my shoes on and walking is painful. I'm wearing sweatpants and freaking thong sandals to work. The first person that says something to me about being pregnant is going to get a knuckle sandwich.

FSC

[purr]

6. being pregnant myself I would NEVER ask..

I worked in retail where I seen many pregnant (or maybe not) women and I never once asked. One - its none of my business, two - they might NOT be.

I'm farily obvious I am. Very small build and a big huge belly and I get comments all the time.

Then saying 'you cant drink coffee in your condition?' wtf? I drink coffee - its all about moderation. They say up to 5 cups a day for a pregnant woman is fine (according to my dr). I drank coffee with my other 2 and theres nothing wrong! Excuse me.

I hope you said something back to make them feel bad...

[Patiod]

12. Yes, I'm ashamed to say I did

I'm a focus group moderator, so my first reaction is to try to put people at ease, but my inner sorority bitch just came out instead: "condition? what condition would that be?" (standing up straight for once, sucking in stomach).

I figured I was doing her a service so she wouldn't make that mistake with anyone else!

(note: I get to say "sorority bitch" because I was very happily in a sorority in college -- so no offense meant to my fellow greeks)

[Renew Deal]

9. I once asked if someone was pregnant.

That was the last time.

[Divameow77]

33. Do like the woman in the commercial

A woman in a grocery store asked another woman when she was due, the woman says "I'm not pregnant" and the first woman says "thank you". Funny commercial. Someone out there knows what commercial I'm talking about right?

[Shell Beau]

10. Ouch!!! I made the mistake once and once only!!! I learned!!!

[BOSSHOG]

11. I don't anymore

About ten years ago I was being helped in a library by a very nice lady. We chatted for a moment and I asked her when the baby was due. She said I'm not pregnant. I've never brought the subject up to anyone again.

Go Phillies!

[undeterred]

13. I've had people ask me if I was pregnant (or when I was due!)

but always when I was wearing certain clothes. I stopped wearing them!

Edit: Instead of "Do these pants make my ass look fat" ask "does wearing this make my belly look pregnant?"

[progmom]

15. yup - same here - i had a big white button-up shirt

i wore it once. an old coworker came over at a jazz club where i was emceeing and said: "so rumor has it that you and progdad are expecting!" :blush: that shirt went right into the goodwill pile.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

17. i can guess

a friend of my sister happened to be with us for brunch. i made a comment in joke if she was preggers. When i saw her and my sister crossing views. i never brought it up again...but my sis approached many weeks later and asked me how did i know?

too funny... you shouldn't only eat cucumbers, tomatoes and gherkins if ya want to keep it under the rug.

such stuff happens all the time to me. a silly remark that makes me drop a brick right on bullseye.

[Richardo]

18. The great sage Dave Barry has given us this enlightened advice:

"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment. " :D

Words to live by.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

19. what's the matter?

beeing pregnant is no disease or something shameful. neither is looking like beeing pregnant. asking bears the danger getting an answer like none of yer biz or so but asking is free, so is answering.

i'd rather have restraint in asking an uniformed soldier if he ever killed someone.

[Patiod]

20. Sorry, but "looks like you're getting fat/your belly is expanding"

is not something I want to hear. I don't ask men how long they've been going bald, or "is that your real hair?", and there's nothing shameful about being bald, either. It's just in this society, we don't generally point out things about a stranger's body.

I imagine women who have already HAD their babies would prefer not to be reminded that they haven't dropped their pregnancy weight yet, either.

And no one ASKED me if I were pregnant -- they just made the assumption and ran with it: "...if you drink coffee in your condition" and another person saying "you must have to use the bathroom a lot now that you're expecting" in response to my request for the bathroom key.

[stevans_41902]

22. Yes, that is one thing that should NEVER be asked. Let the person

tell you before you say anything relating to them looking pregnant. I've had my paranoid dad think i was pregnant before after i gained some weight, and now my parents are always criticizing me to lose weight, prob. so they don't have to look at my belly and think i might be pregnant.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

28. i wouldn't probably ask a stranger...

i don't go around asking strange women if they're pregnant. i perhaps would with close friends and family because such would affect me as well. (They would tell me anyway ;-)

[Phentex]

23. Exactly!

"Do you plan on getting a toupee?" "Would you like some sunscreen for that giant bald spot?"

[Neshanic]

24. What if she is pregnant and not know it, and you say something?

In my last year in college, we had a small seminar class, about 5 guys and 5 girls. I knew one of the girls, and we had a good time in the class, and during the breaks would sit out on the plaza and talk.

At the begining of the semester, I noticed one girl was "looking" pregnant, and I said nothing. Then as the semester progressed, She looked pregnant. Just before finals, I was talking to my pal in the class outside during the break, and she said that the woman had come up to her and told her she could not take the final because she was pregnant and just found out. My pal was gobsmacked. She asked HOW she could not know. She replied she thought she was gaining weight and started going on a diet...then went to a doctor when she could not loose the weight.

[RedCloud]

25. Sort of like when...

a woman was giving birth not knowing she was pregnant.

[LynneSin]

26. The only time I ever got zero tip while waitressing

:eyes:

After that I learn not to assume anything

[Ariana Celeste]

29. A friend of mine did that to me dude

We hadn't seen eachother in a few weeks, and I had quit smoking and so I was eating a bit too much to pacify my oral fixation... so I had gained about 15-20 lbs. No big deal right? Well, it was a big deal to her.

Upon walking into my apt, with a person I didn't know even, she said...
Her- "Hey! I can't help but notice the weight gain, are you pregnant?!"

Me- "Hell no dude."

Her- "Are you sure?"

Me- "I just finished my time of the month and have zero symptoms, no I am not pregnant."

Her friend- "Well, my sister had 3 periods before she found out she was pregnant the whole time."

Her- "Yeah! That happens! You want me to take you to the clinic to find out?"

Me- "Dude, no thanks. I'm not pregnant, and if I worry about it, the store is a block away."

:mad: Wouldn't have pissed me off so much had she not brought it up in front of some chick I have never met, therefore dragging the chick into a conversation about how much weight I've gained and how I must be pregnant whether I think I am or not.

So, two weeks later she shows up again, and asks me if I've taken a pregnancy test yet. Gah.

[LeftyMom]

30. Absolutely not

My mother had that happen to her right after her hysterectomy (she had the classic hysterectomy pooch on an otherwise thin frame, she did look slightly pregnant, the gauzy high waisted hippie dress didn't help) and she came home in tears.

The appropriate question is "how are you feeling lately?" so the knocked up can let you know about thier pregnancy complaints (it does help, I swear) and the parasite free can let you know how they're feeling (which might give some insight into the extra cargo in the abdomen.) Really, it's not that hard to be nosy without sounding nosy, people. Try harder, be creative.

[davsand]

31. Never ask about pregnancy you can always ask about health.

Asking if anyone is pregnant just pisses them off. By extension, if they tell you they are pregnant you ALWAYS immediately follow up with "How wonderful, When are you due?" No matter what date they give you the appropriate response is:

"I would have never guessed! You look GREAT for being that far along!"

I don't care if she has puke hanging off the front of her shirt from morning sickness or if she is giving birth right there, you ALWAYS tell another pregnant woman she looks terrific. It is what a caring woman does because we MUST support our pregnant sisters...

Repeat after me: You look GREAT for being that far along...

:hi:

Laura

[Pithlet]

32. Best post of the day

As someone who's littlest is still in diapers, I'm not that far removed from that time when I was swollen and miserable. Being told I looked great would be the highlight of my day then, for sure.

[Left Is Write]

34. Hmmm.

"I would have never guessed! You look GREAT for being that far along!"

I'm a pretty smart cookie. I would know if I was being patronized/humored, and it would probably irritate the hell out of me.

With my younger two children, I always looked much further along than I was. With my five-year-old daughter, people frequently asked if I was having twins ("Are you SURE there's only one in there?"). When I was only three months pregnant with my son, I looked six months.

My daughter was born in December of 1999. In October of that year, as I was leaving the mall, a woman called after me, "Honey! You've dropped! You're gonna have that baby any time now!" I turned back and said, "I hope not. I'm not due for two and a half more months."

Anyway, my point is...if someone had said "I never would have guessed!" when told how far along I was, I would have known they were just blowing smoke up my skirt.

[Divameow77]

35. When I was about 7 months along

some obnoxious guy at a store said (not asked) very loudly "Awwwww she's having a baby" I pretended to start crying and said "I am not". Hey, maybe it was someone here........

[scarlet_owl]

39. That's happened to me lots of times. I just have a big belly.

The sad and ironic thing is that I can't have children.