How Stella DIDN'T Get Her Groove Back...

[edbermac]

I'm sure Liza will be hearing from you soon...

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- Author Terry McMillan has filed for divorce from the man who inspired the 1996 novel "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," which chronicled the romantic adventures of a 40-something woman who falls for a guy half her age.

In papers filed in Contra Costa County Superior Court, McMillan, 53, says she decided to end her 6 1/2-year marriage to Jonathan Plummer, 30, after learning he is gay.

The revelation led her to conclude Plummer married only to get his U.S. citizenship, she said. McMillan met Plummer at a Jamaican resort a decade ago.

"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on deceit," she said in court papers. "I was humiliated."

In response, Plummer maintained McMillan treated him with "homophobic" scorn bordering on harassment since he came out to her as gay just before Christmas.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/books/06/29/people.terrymcmillan.ap/index.html

[Karenina]

1. Considering how many pages

I had to go back to FIND this... I guess it may have made a few Lounge Lizards go hmmm... :evilgrin:

THIS is the reason WHY folks should NEVER be discriminated against for their sexual orientation.

[Karenina]

2. I'll ASSUME for the moment

that not many have seen this. Soooooo :kick:

[Yavin4]

3. haha

Serves her right. She writes the stereotypical man-hating novels.

[Karenina]

4. Erraaaa.... OK.

:wow:

[mark414]

7. and you just proved

that she has plenty of material to write another one

[Yavin4]

22. She Writes Stereotypical "All Men Are Dogs" Books

Men are not dogs. The kind of men that she chooses to be with are dogs, and that's because she chooses men on a very superficial basis.

[Karenina]

23. You seem quite certain of your convictions...

:shrug:

[JVS]

5. Bwahahahahahaha!

[Karenina]

6. Obviously, I'm missing something.

:shrug:

[JVS]

19. Here is what she said in the article

"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on deceit," she said in court papers. "I was humiliated."

I happen to find it very funny when relationships that people publicize to the world as life-affirming and built on mutual love are actually based on deceit.

[RevolutionaryActs]

8. Part of me feels bad, since it was so publicized but......

How in 6 1/2 years did she never once suspect that he might be gay? I mean really now?

[progmom]

13. my best friend's sister just was surprised by her husband coming out

after 18 years of marriage. This kind of thing happens all the time. :shrug:

[hfojvt]

9. Hey, Terry, for $2,000 a month

I am available.

Sheesh, clearly it is better to be good looking than smart, and it is better to deceive than be honest. Nice of the judge to reward the slime-ball.

Of course, I have not read her books, or seen the movies either.

[amazona]

10. it is a fun book and movie, however...

I'm surprised she didn't realize she was writing a fantasy story. I didn't know she thought she was writing about her own relationship. Any much older woman of means has to be aware of what the deal is when a much younger man claims that he's in love with her. You don't marry the guy!

[Karenina]

11. Do you think

she was being just stupid?

[amazona]

16. I'm guessing she was intoxicated by love

I knew nothing about her personal life. The book/movie were very well done but they were romantic fantasy.

This isn't a stupid woman, but any of us can do stupid things while under the influence of romantic love or lust. It is like a drug.

[Karenina]

20. In my younger days

I was twice deceived by men using me as cover. Both experiences were DEVASTATING. Never mind that I GLADLY VOLUNTEERED to act as cover for friends who needed it. The difference was HONESTY and TRUST.

[H5N1]

15. I've dated rich older women where I did not care about the money

Eventually they dumped me because I am a (kind-hearted)
far-left speaking drunkard with a big-fat-mouth.

[jmm]

12. Now I'm curious

How did she show him homophobic scorn? I'm not saying it's impossible but is she suppose to want to stay married to a man who lied about his sexuality and used her? Is she suppose to want to tear up the prenup he willingly signed :shrug:?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

14. Hmm, if a gay man married me for my money or a green card

and didn't let me in on the very important detail of his sexual orientation, I might let slip a few slurs "in the heat of the moment' (cross-reference to a disgusting thread in GD).

[Karenina]

21. For me the BIG ISSUE is

that this particular brand of deceit, destruction and deconstruction would be totally unheard of in a society that could accept people as they are.

[Xithras]

25. I disagree.

The point of marriage is SUPPOSED to be that you've found a person who accepts you as you are WITHOUT hiding anything. I'm bi, and I dated many women early on who quickly bugged out when they discovered that I like to sleep with other men. Still, I didn't hide what I was, was upfront about it to everyone I dated, and I did eventually find that one special person who fell in love with me, spots and all. As fate would have it, she's bi as well.

Twelve years and three kids later, we're still just as accepting of each other and our marriage is as strong as ever.

"particular brand of deceit, destruction and deconstruction" is primarily sown by people out to get something, who's interest in finding the right person to marry is secondary to profit/impressing people/whatever. In this guys case, he was deceitful because he wanted into the country. The fact that he was actually gay (though I'd assume that he's really bi if they're married) is really irrelevant. He didn't marry her because he loved her, he married her to gain a prize.

[Karenina]

27. I agree with you completely.

My point is that an environment that forces people to hide who they are is TOXIC. As I related in a post upstream, when dealt with TRUTHFULLY, I defended my loved ones with whatever means I had at my disposal. Have I misunderstood your point? :shrug:

[democracyindanger]

28. More than "heat of the moment"

In a Jan. 14 letter written by McMillan and filed with the court, the author told Plummer, "The reason you're going to make a great fag is that most of you guys are just like dogs anyway. ... You do whatever with whomever pleases you and don't seem to care about the consequences."

More detailed story at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/06/26/BAGTQDF4S01.DTL

[Strawman]

17. So the sequel might be called...ready for this?...

"How Stella Found Goo on His Back?" :shrug:

[JVS]

18. Or "How Stella Got Her Crushing Sense of Disappointment Back"

[Karenina]

24. Why is it that I get the sense

NO ONE is dealing seriously with the issue of gay people feeling forced to remain in the closet to survive and the harm it does to EVERYONE? :shrug:

[amazona]

29. I honestly don't believe it's about gay or straight

It's about a much younger man who was able to find economic opportunity by marrying a much older woman who could provide him access to a much wealthier country and her own bank account. He has already admitted to embezzling from her bank accounts. The young man is a thief. It isn't about gay or straight. It's about pretending to love someone for profit. Young women have been guilty of it too. Older people of means need to be more realistic. My family's experience has been that once you marry the con artist, you're screwed. I'd be astounded if he ever pays back any of the stolen money, and police will not charge him, saying it's a civil matter, since they were formerly married.

Love is an illness that blinds us to the realities of human desire. He could have been as straight as a yardstick but the likelihood that he was sexually and romantically in love with a woman that much older...it just wasn't real. She believed what she wanted to believe because we are imprinted to love youth and beauty for no doubt sound evolutionary reasons.

[Karenina]

30. You make VERY cogent points...

Lemme think a bit.

[MrSlayer]

26. That's pretty funny.

Not so self-aggrandizing now are you?

[KeepItReal]

31. Damn!!!! That's pretty F-ed up....

Hope he does not get 1 dime.

[Yavin4]

32. I Don't Like Terry McMillan Because She Perpetuates Stereotypes

She makes her millions by writing books wherein she depicts Black men as dogs. It's not that Black men are dogs. It's that the Black men that she's attracted to and chooses are dogs, and this episode proves that.

She met and married a man based on superficialities, and she got burned for it.