Goth Warning Newsletter

[name not needed]

This is a newsletter that St. Mary's church in Colorado Springs sent out this week:

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

Ok, so seeing as 23 or so of these apply to me, I should be committed?

[gmoney]

1. Saw "The GOTH Workout" book tonight

Turns out it was really the Gotti Workout... oh well.

[kedrys]

2. No, but you could start your own religion/cult/church

How about Our Lady of Body Modification?

[Ariana Celeste]

3. LOL I love that

I used to be Goth (or at least was considered so) and my friends and I always loved seeing this stuff. We even passed around this one in particular. Beautiful.

Spends large amount of time alone. What teenager DOESN'T?!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

56. My fave is the last one

"Claims to be a goth"

Bit of a giveaway there...

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

4. Count "Dracula" cereal?

Oh, Myrtle...

[dr.zoidberg]

21. That son of a bitch is spreading lies.

My cereal does not cut the roof of your mouth! With all respect.:)

[Akoto]

41. I detect a Family Guy fan. :p

[democracyindanger]

5. I got a hankerin fer some of that Count Dracula ceral

[sasquatch]

6. Wasn't it the Goths that Christainized Europe

Jesus, these people are so stupid they'll eat their own.

[dr.zoidberg]

20. Well...

Really, do you think that those little fucks who call themselves "goths" know that? Last I heard, Goths were barbarians, not whiny little shits who dress in black.

[TimeChaser]

7. I didn't know Philosophy was a religion...

Also "-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature"

I guess dressing up as a character from of video game of role-playing nature is a one-way ticket to hell, huh?

"-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little."

That takes care of every teenager in the country...

[jobycom]

8. Geeze, if at least five of these DON'T apply to your teen you should worry

I'm proud to say that as a teen, I fit quite a lot of these. I'm forty now, and I still could meet at least five of them. Hopefully more. My boss does get mad when I wear black lipstick, being a guy and all.

[sasquatch]

9. "Sleeps too excessivly or too little"

That applies to everyone I fucking know. Especially swing shift workers.

[sasquatch]

10. Could you provide us a link?

[sasquatch]

11. I always knew being Austrian was a mental illness

:silly:

[LastKnight]

12. apparently im gothic.

25 traits fit me... but... im not goth...

[The Traveler]

13. Oh crap

They found me out!

:evilgrin:

Matters not. Within the Unitarian Jihad, I remain Brother Railgun of Enlightened Compassion.

[khashka]

14. Deather Children! My faves!

Been one for fucking forever-

And best most accepting most trusting people I ever met .

You know what we believe in? Individuality, creativity, that the dominant culture totally sucks, that there is always a better way.

I used to wear black. get tats, get piercings (14 and counting). I used to dye my hair. Now although a middle aged gentleman I look like a young adult. Slovenly but reasonably conservative. I met this cool Goth KId. And he said "You are so fucking cool". He was 15, I'm nearly 40. And it was righteous!

We sow what we reap and I finally got confirmation I sowed well.

Khash.

[Bok_Tukalo]

15. Oh shit. People that associate with me are goth. They never told me.

"-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically."

[AlienGirl]

16. "OBSCURE"?!

:rofl: What is this, 1983? How are Goths "obscure"?

Tucker

[baldguy]

17. This is a list used for indoctrination in a cult.

Basically anything NOT associated with the cult is evil & should be avoided.

[caty]

18. I"m a Buddhist.

Buddhism has been practiced for centuries before christianity. Jesus studied and practiced Buddhism. From Buddhism is where Jesus got the foundation for christianity. Lists like this show just how ignorant the religious right is. Shame on them for insulting good people who are much more compassionate and merciful than they could ever hope to be.:grouphug:

[Dervill Crow]

19. LOL - my teenage sons are worried about ME after reading the list.

I scored 11 or 12, depending on whether the pentacle tattoo is counted as one or two.

[ghostsofgiants]

22. Oh shit....20 (or 21*) of those apply to me...does that mean I'm goth?

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates

* - 21 only if Count Dracula cereal means Count Chocula. That shit is awesome.

[illini]

23. Wow I was a screwed up kid and just realized it.

I love the last one "claims to be goth." Ya think.

If my two girls make it to their teens I would love it if they went goth. I just don't want them coming home and saying "Dad I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior and you should too." I can handle goth but don't go fundie on me.

[JohnKleeb]

24. Lemme do a checklist

-Frequently wears black clothing. (uhh nah thats not me)
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (I sometimes wear a Marley shirt)
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. (Nope not my gig)
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols. (does a think blue armband count)
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. (Ive wanted a celtic tattoo to celebrate my celtic heritage)
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) (Nah though I have a Manson song since it was on my Ramones discography)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. (Well define eccentric)
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. (Nah not really, I still like religion and sports)
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. (Nah thats weird to me)
-Takes drugs. (Well a little pot hurt no one)
-Drinks alcohol. (drinking alcohol is part of my religion silly)
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. (Ive had the feeling before)
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) (Thats just weird honest)
-Complains of boredom. (who doesnt get bored)
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (I love to sleep, got a problem with it)
-Is excessively awake during the night. (I am a night person, sorrrey)
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) (Nah I loves the sun)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. (I am a private person ya know)
-Spends large amounts of time alone. (I am a loner somewhat so)
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.) (Whats so bad about being alone)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. (Well I am 17 and nearly an adult)
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. (Not really)
-Misbehaves at school. (nope)
-Misbehaves at home. (sometimes)
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very
dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) (Dude you mean Count Chacula, and no I like taht reese cereal)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.) (who doesnt watch cable)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature. (You mean the games where I am killing Nazi swine?)
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. (I like to talk to people and listen to music duh)
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. (I am not a banger no)
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. (hahhaha no)
-Expresses an interest in sex. (who doesnt at that age)
-Masturbates (Well gotta do it sometime)
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. (Nah I like girls only but I could careless)
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. (hahaha no I am Catholic dumnuts)
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". (Nah that sounds nothing like me)
-Claims to be a goth. (In your dreams)
Anyhow my conclusion according to this is that I am "half goth"

[Hugin]

42. Meant for OP.

Sorry Kleeb.

[xmas74]

25. Let's see how many apply to me:

-Frequently wears black clothing. ---> check
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-----> check
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.----->check
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.----->check
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.-----> have both
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-----> yep!
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.----->I'm the one that everyone worries about, not the others
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.----->check
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.----->wanted to be a mortician. Still am interested.
-Takes drugs. -----> (used to)
-Drinks alcohol.--->check
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. -----> (Have been depressed)
-Complains of boredom.--->check
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. -----> (I work two jobs and have a child. Of course I don't get enough sleep!)
-Is excessively awake during the night. --->(I work all night)
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)--->fair skin that burns easily. I tend to stay out of the sun.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.--->what is unusual?
-Spends large amounts of time alone.--->whenever I can
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)---->yep
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.---->always did this
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.--->yep
-Misbehaves at school.----->used to
-Misbehaves at home.----->yep
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.----->Count Chocula is just kick ass cereal!
--Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)----->yep
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.----->yep
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.----->yep
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-----yep
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.----->yep
-Expresses an interest in sex.-----Yep
-Masturbates----->who doesn't?
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.----->sure, why not

-Claims to be a goth.----->used to claim it all the time.


So I have 33. I'm sure that it pisses them off that I am now raising a child of my own.

[drm604]

26. I think this is a joke.

I don't know if this site is the original source of this list or not. But they certainly treat it as a parody. In fact they call themselves

Parents'
American
Religious
Organizations
Defending
Youth

They spell the cereal name correctly, your version is funnier. :)

[NMMNG]

27. I'm a goth and I didn't even know it!

I have seven of the "symptoms".

These people need to get a grip though, the gothic culture is not dangerous!


Gothic Culture

A History of Gothic Subculture

[tenshi816]

28. "Goth-related" foods?

:rofl:
No more Count Chocula for me, then. I swear I didn't know I was a goth.

[ikri]

29. Funny stuff

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates

Run for your lives, its a TEENAGER!

[Midnight Rambler]

36. Seems normal and healthy to me.

Personally, I would be more worried if a teenager doesn't exhibit those signs. Show me a clean cut, well dressed, obedient teenager, and I'll show you and evil pod person.

And here's a little secret to all those Good Wholesome Christians(TM) out there. If you've got a teenage boy who doesn't mastubate, there's something wrong with him.

[really annoyed]

30. haha...

Guess they never heard of the "Christian Goth" movement...

Funny, I can relate to 22 of those "warnings!"

HAHA... Philosophy as a "cult religion." :rofl:

[distantearlywarning]

31. I didn't think I was a goth

but since 21 of these items apply to me, I guess I am. I better run right down to my nearest mental health center and have myself committed before Satan gets ahold of my immortal soul. All that time I spend by myself? I thought I was just reading DU and playing video games, but I was actually communing with evil spirits. Who knew?:shrug:

This list actually made me laugh out loud. Especially the "Count Dracula Cereal" part. And watches cable television and spends too much time on the internet??? Expresses interest in sex? Don't these apply to, oh, 95% of the teenage/adult population of the US?

[ET Awful]

32. Damn I must be confused, I thought a "woe is me" sticker meant

the kid was emo :evilgrin:

[Mutley]

33. "-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this."

:rofl: :wtf: :rofl: :wtf: :rofl:

And anyway... isn't most of this normal teenager stuff? I mean damn! Most of us grow out of that sort of thing eventually. But yeah, throwing out my Count Chocula cereal is going to successfully steer me towards the Lord!

[48pan]

34. The black clothing on a hot sunny day thing...

just doesn't do it for me. I guess you have to be stupid to be a goth.

[Ikonoklast]

35. Well, that just about covers every teen in the world

not just the U.S. I guess I better start to worship His Infernal Majesty soon or I will be in the minority in ten years or do when they take over. These people will use any tactic to scare their following and retain membership. Most mainline organized Christian denominations=big money, big business; even the Catholics have lost the true message of feeding the poor and helping the sick. Sad, really.

[crispini]

37. Wow! I got 15 on the list. Guess I'm a Goth.

:wtf: :eyes:

[Akoto]

38. Count Chocula, what's next?

If Count Chocula is an evil (albeit delicious) incarnation of Satan, what's next? Is the malicious presence of the Counting Count being felt on Sesame Street?

"Repeat after me. Six, six, six! There are three sixes! Bluh!"

[Taverner]

39. Complains of boredom.

This would apply to ANYONE in Colorado Springs

[jonnyblitz]

40. they left off : "1. drinks absynthe, 2. smokes clove cigarettes,

3. reads poppy z. brite novels."

yeah, all goths i know eat count chocula.snicker.

[flvegan]

43. "so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation"

("Requests time alone and quietness.") Soooooo doing one's homework is actually creating the possibility to speak to evil spirits.

And meditating is for speaking to evil spirits.

I could go on.

[GreenPartyVoter]

44. Is this for real?!

[Hugin]

45. "imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence." - What's so IMAGINARY?

This is reality with BushCo.

[RandomKoolzip]

46. I'm not afraid of goths because I mistakenly think they worship the devil.

I'm afraid of goths because they're a bunch of fucking dorks with shitty taste in music.

[ChickMagic]

47. LMAO

A teenager expressing an interest in sex? Oh, the horror! Dangerous cult religions like philosphy? Does Jenna's "butt dance" fit into the "dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner"? Isn't PAX a cable TV channel? :rofl:

[Lilyhoney]

48. I live in a small coastal town

and we have this little gaggle of goths. My husband and I like to see them. Sometimes we feel that our town lacks in diversity. We have enough toeheaded surfer, skateboarding kids here.

[RetroLounge]

49. Hmmm, can I still be goth at 44 yrs old?

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. -Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through
meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your
child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

RL

[ZombieNixon]

50. Checklist time!

I will score each item on a scale of 0 to 5

-Frequently wears black clothing. (Sometimes, but not frequently. Does my NOT MY PRESIDENT shirt count? 3)
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (I own two. NOFX and Bad Religion. 3)
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. (No. 0)
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols. (Ha! My gold pendant doesn't count. Oh, wait, the necklace is made of Tibetan bone-carved skulls. I guess they would think that's Satan worshipping. 2)
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. (Uh-uh. 0)
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) (No Manson, but lots of punk rock and some Norwegian black metal. Oh, yeah, lots of that heathen Celtic stuff, too. 4)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. (Hell, yes. All my friends are weird in some way or another. 5)
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. (Never had any interest in any of them, except snowboarding. 4)
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. (Nope. 0)
-Takes drugs. (Does second-hand pot smoke count. 1. It was at work, does that count more? 2)
-Drinks alcohol. (3. Don't ask questions.)
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. (No. 0)
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) (I HATE NEEDLES, fer Gawd's sakes! Why would I cut myself. 0)
-Complains of boredom. (Fucking duh! 5)
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (I'm 18, K? 5)
-Is excessively awake during the night. (I spend all night on DU. 5)
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) (Well, it hurts my eyes after being up all night. 2)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. (I'm a teenager. 4)
-Spends large amounts of time alone. (See above. 4)
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) (Yep, all the time alone with my good friends Beelzebub and Cthulhu. 3)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. (And my parents don't care. 5)
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. (I respect 'em 'cuz their people, too, not 'cuz of authority. 2)
-Misbehaves at school. (Nope. All my teachers though I was a model child. Except for that one suspension for fighting. 1)
-Misbehaves at home. (Well, I save all my shit for my parent, but that still isn't much shit. 2)
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (Think I'll pass on the blood-filled cocoa puffs. 0)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) (I'll agree it's dangerous. Whose blood are you drinking? 0)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) (Guilty as charged. 5)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature. (YO! 5)
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. (I'm a COMPUTER PROGRAMMER and SOFTWARE DESIGNER! What am I gonna do? Pray for products to fall out the sky? 5)
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. (What's a Satanic symbol? Oh, you mean that think Bush made on the inaugural walk? I do sometimes headbang. 3)
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. (Me and my two left feet. 3)
-Expresses an interest in sex. (18, say no more. 5)
-Masturbates (See above. All guys do it. 5)
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. (No. 0)
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. (Um, I was raised Hindu and am now a...what...Unitaratheiagnostipagan or something. 5)
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". (No. 0)
-Claims to be a goth. (Pff. In ya dreamz-a. 0)

Total score: 100/25 = 4, so I'm 80% Goth, according to this, and 15 of those apply to me in some way, shape or form, but yet I'm not a Goth. :shrug:

[MiniMandaRuth]

51. ....

Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshiping symbols.

I wear an ankh!!! It is the Egyptian symbol of long life!!!!

[DemBones DemBones]

52. I'm Catholic and it's odd that this was in a Catholic bulletin.

I live in a conservative area but there are people with facial piercings and tattoos who attend Mass at my parish church, and of course our priest wears black clothes all the time. ;-)

Most Catholics drink alcoholic beverages; alcohol is served at church-sponsored parties, which also often include dancing.

The suggestion that meditation is a way to communicate with demons is odd, too, since Catholics practice meditative prayer.

Of course parents should be concerned if a kid is depressed/ suicidal/ mutilating self/ or getting seriously involved in a cult. But wearing band T shirts? Sleeping a lot? Staying up too late?

Show me a teenager who doesn't want to be alone a lot, is not interested in sex, dancing, or the internet, and I'll show you an odd teenager.

:shrug:

[XemaSab]

53. I think we should

all move to a little goth island somewhere in the south pacific, sort of like a leper colony. we can wear little black string bikinis and drink absinthe while lounging on the beach under our black lace parasols. No fundies will be allowed, and we can all listen to the Cure in peace without worry of harassment.

[Dukkha]

54. I guess EVERYONE is a Goth with this list

Unless you're a white button downed suburbanite conservative christian
:eyes:

[NuttyFluffers]

55. and i play a Vampire-based card game called Jyhad, too.

and my favorite cards to play are the muslim vampires that like to assassinate people.

does that mean i'm going to hell? or do i have to eat count chocula first? and does eating frankenberry get my sentence reduced?

[LeftyMom]

57. They changed the name back?

Or are you using the really old cards from before the name change?

[NuttyFluffers]

58. nah, it's called VtES still, but ...

traditionalists still call it Jyhad from familiarity. besides, it's such a cool name! :P

[Lowell]

59. That is odd

I just thought I was undead.
Do people actually take this seriously?

[dean_dem]

60. Expressing an interest in sex makes you goth?

Other examples of "Goth-related foods" may include Black Beans, Dark Chocolate, Devils Food Cake, Forest of Despair Chili...