My SO is stressing me the fuck out

[Champ]

Ask me anything

[AlienGirl]

1. By doing what?

[Wetzelbill]

2. Nice Space Needle

[AlienGirl]

3. It's my giant friend!

[Champ]

7. Let me explain

I'm going to briefly summarize the background, I was in a bit of a funk and wasn't being myself, I stressed her out and things got out of hand, I felt like in order for me to get over everything I had to really apologize because it was affecting how I reacted to things and I had to give myself a 2nd chance whether or not she was willing to in order to get over everything and start being myself-the person she fell in love with. So over the weekend I move back in with my mom because she needed her space and respected that and understood things sometime take time to return back to normal.

Now one of the biggest issues living with her was I wasn't doing what I wanted, I was always doing what she was doing and can understand why any reasonable person doesn't like someone who is being clingy so I started doing what I wanted to do again, let me live my life and let her live hers.

A couple days go by and she wanted me to come see her, I had nothing else to do and it was what I wanted to do at the time so I go up. She goes to sleep a little early (9:30) now I couldn't fall asleep and I was still awake, normally I would've just been "clingy" and stuck with her so I thought what do I want to do, I wanted to go hang out with a friend of mine for awhile before I go to sleep. Now she was dead asleep and tried waking her up to let her know I was going, I didn't put much of an effort but I'll explain later I'm sure she will understand so I left and head out to my friend's house. We don't do much and he had to leave so I was only there for a half hour. I return home and my mom had told me she called and wanted me to call her back. So I start talking and she is REALLY upset
I was going to call you when you got home from work tomorrow but you were asleep and I wasn't tired so I went down to my buddy's house for a little while
I tried explaining to her if I was living with her I would've done the same thing except instead of returning over there I returned to my mom's house. She is still upset and said if you didn't want to come hang out with me you shouldn't of came, I explain to her that in fact I did want to hang out with her and I did. She went to sleep, I wasn't tired and there was nothing to do so I found something to do. Somewhere along the lines she says "I think you're fucking around on me" -this is probaly because out of the blue I start doing things with my friends and really trying to not crawl up her ass all the time. I told her I would never disrespect her by doing something like that. And somewhere in the middle of all this she hangs up on me. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm still stressed.

[Fiona]

9. ahh....

sounds like a typical man/woman miscommunication.

She invited you over. She, being a typical woman, felt that meant you'd stay the night with her, regardless of what she did. You, being a typical man, felt that her falling asleep early freed you from any obligation.

You're not wrong. She's not wrong.

But you should apologize anyway. That's the way it works.

[Champ]

11. I understand

I also didn't have a key to my mom's and I would've had to leave when she left and she leaves early for work so I felt like I got rid of the complication. I also wasn't expecting such a big deal because we have plenty of other times to spend time together. Not making excuses, just trying to explain what was going through my mind at the time and I explained this to her as well, it just seemed like she didn't want to hear it.

[BikeWriter]

10. A: Seperate realities. Q: What is the #1 cause of friction between lovers?

[fleabert]

12. leave a note next time...

big hearts and 'love you's' at the bottom. That would have softened the blow for me. I think she's being a bit unreasonable, but you should have left a note. best spot is on the bathroom mirror, or on the TV.

[Champ]

13. *smacks forehead*

I wish I would've thought of that.

[fleabert]

14. a good idea is to keep a dry erase marker in the bathroom, and

write messages to each other on the mirror.

Lists, honey-do's, love you's, funny thoughts, etc... When we had a large enough mirror, that's the only way I got the trash out in time... (well, the only way I got him to get it out on time!) Once you get in the habit, and it's not just for nagging, you start to look forward to finding a new message, and finding a way to leave one secretly.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. i too would have been upset....atleast leave a note..

[Droopy]

4. Why don't you tell her/him what the deal is?

Or have you already?

[Champ]

8. It was a conversation that took place

I was trying to discuss something I did and I felt she took it completely the wrong way. There is always tomorrow.

[Fiona]

5. Well, you gotta answer

in an "ask me anything" friend.

Why is s/he stressing you?

My SO stresses me sometimes, and I KNOW I stress him a lot. But we're pretty open about it and sometimes I just tell him "You're pissing me off, so stop" and he does. And he does the same to me. We just communicate and respect the wishes of the other.

[Champ]

6. I'm still trying to think of a best way to put it

I'll come up with an answer shortly.

[Rhiannon12866]

15. Just be completely honest.

I find that this is what works for me. Yes, you can be coy or suggestive about certain things, but, for the basics, just be up front. If something's bothering you, express yourself, in a polite and considerate way, of course, and always keeping sensitive issues in mind. I'm not suggesting a rant, but just an honest conversation. Good luck with this, since you wouldn't have posted it unless something was really bothering you.:hi:

[Skittles]

17. YOU WANT I SHOULD KICK HER ASS, CHAMP?

SAY THE WORD BUDDY.