I may have to homeschool one of my kids

[Mizmoon]

Things are not going well at the school and they never bother to tell me when things go wrong. They expect my kid to do that. When I point out that expecting a 16-year-old to tell their parents that they have to go to summer school is not realistic, they seem to think that I'm quite mad. I asked, "Don't you send a letter or make a phone call?" No, they expect the teen to tell their parents. If she was the kind of kid to tell me that sort of thing then we wouldn't be dealing with summer school, now would we?

:banghead:

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. That is ridiculous!

Granted, my kids are younger than 16, but still! When my son was in second grade, he was sent to the office (a regular occurance back then), and given a form for me to sign. He hid it in his room, and I found it months later. I called the teacher and explained to her that if she sent a form home, I might not get it. After that, I got a phone call every time he went to the office.

[XanaDUer]

2. I've never heard of not telling a parent that a kid has to go to

summer school. That seems like a pretty important thing to know.

Nutty.

[goddess40]

3. That's like sending report cards home with the kids

Those that do good gladly present they parents with the report card those that don't pitch it. The schools count on the parents not to miss the report card so the school cuts down on parent's calling and complaining about bad grades.

I griped about it for a few years, and I must not have been the only one, because now they mail them.

Summer school is a joke here too, I told the school I would be happy to send my kid IF they worked on what he was lacking. They have a one size fits all program for summer school once the kids hit middle school. Summer school is more about punishment for getting bad grades - if you don't educate and only require kids to show up that's not education that is warehousing.

[Mizmoon]

4. Mine is a Homework Refusnik

He got an 85 on the final, but failed the class. Nothing helps - not punishment or reward ...

woe is me


:cry:

[goddess40]

12. Both of my kids are NLD

the oldest does really well the first quarter and then gets overwhelmed and the rest of the year is totally dependant on what kind of teachers he has.

NLD people don't read nonverbal language - really bites on the social front - but it really effects his classroom life too. He can't tell what the teacher is stressing, he used to get by simply by remembering everything. He can't do that in high school. So teachers that abide by the 504 and provide him with notes or an outline and cut him a little slack get much better results then those that don't care to put the extra effort in. He also has motor skill problems so homework and all writing better have a clear reason - no busy work. My argument was do you want him to learn or push paper?

My son is 16 also, and according to testing is one of the smartest kids in his school but he too fails classes because of missed homework. Some of it is just being 16 but most of it is his NLD.

[TimeChaser]

7. Of course...

... it's still possible to hide the mail. I did it... once...

[seemunkee]

5. At our school they mail out interims twice each markikng period

And have a website that you can log in and view the gradebook for each class.
Not letting you know they are failing and going to have to make up a class is not right. Their not doing their job and trying to pass the responsibility off on someone else.

[Mizmoon]

8. We get one interim and it wasn't pretty

but she was working with the teacher to pass. The teacher says that my daughter didn't live up to her end of the bargain so she was failing her by three points. I didn't find this out until Tuesday and the last day for summer school registration was Monday.

She didn't get her report card on time because she owed books ... ugh, I could go on but it's a tragedy of errors ...

[youthere]

6. I homeschool all three of my kids...

although they are much younger than yours. It is the most wonderfully frustrating experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[Mizmoon]

9. The school is just not meeting her needs

They meet most of the kid's needs ... I don't think the school itself is bad. I do think that it's just not working for her. She will not do her homework. People without kids think that sounds crazy - just beat 'em or ground 'em or talk to 'em. Ugh, they never tried to deal with the iron will of a teenager. She just plain won't do it and the school cannot pass a person who won't do the work, though the final exam grades indicate clearly that information is being passed from the teacher to her brain. We just can't go on like this.

I know this is quite a rant. My apologies.

[youthere]

14. Don't apologize...

you have to do what you feel is best for your children, we all do. Clearly homeschooling isn't for everyone. There are some kids that excel in the public school setting, and some that don't. It's not always about the schools or the teachers but it is always (or at least SHOULD always) be about the child. And you're right, people that don't have kids, although they always mean well, don't understand it.
We had a lot of reasons for choosing homeschooling, and every parent and child is different. It might be that this is the step that gets your daughter excited about learning (and I mean REAL learning-not memorization/regurgitation). It seems like you have a healthy approach to it though. A lot of parents consider homeschooling as "a last resort" rather than a real, viable option for their child.
It is very very challenging, and very very frustrating-but it is soooo worth it

On edit: And remember that there are plenty of homeschoolers here on DU for advice if you need it!:-)

[amazona]

17. but don't you have to work and have a life too?

My sister homeschools because her kid is a genius and they live in a foreign country, and she wants him educated in English. However, she has multiple degrees and prior experience as a teacher -- and she still has not worked for pay for several years because being a teacher is, guess what, a full-time job.

I'm guess I'm saying that I don't think homeschooling is the answer. If the kid doesn't want to learn, it takes up all the time and destroys both lives instead of just one. And even when the kid is highly super highly motivated to learn, as with my nephew, the mother had better not be in a situation where she has to work for pay. Educating a child is not a part-time thing you can do when time allows, no matter what the books say -- guess what, they lie.

I don't think the school should be allowed to fob this job off on YOU. They are supposed to be professionals.

Please don't think I am trying to impugn your qualifications but I don't know enough about you to know if you are even certified to teach. Yeah, there are non-teachers home-schooling, but I don't hold out for much hope for those kids' future unless they plan on Bob Jones University or something.

[Catchawave]

10. You need to request a conference with a guidance counselor....

...ASAP...you had "no clue" there were school problems before the end of the school year? report cards? progress reports? detention notices? Usually if those aren't returned "signed" (unless child forged them) you get a "Wass'up" call from the admin.

Not to panic you, but 16 may be too old to "start" homeschooling? There are other issues to address now, like trusting your teen?

[Mizmoon]

13. Uck - I never said I had no clue

I had plenty of clue but was under the impression that she was going to pass this one class by the skin of her teeth. Went to get the card after returning missing books and was surprised to see the fail. She wasn't, I was.

Trust issues? What do you mean?

[Catchawave]

15. "Passing a class by the skin of her teeth"

"She wasn't surprised?" Ooops, there's something missing there, and not just books? Ask the school for copies of anything that should have been sent home to you these past few months for a signature.

Summer School should not have been a shock *to you*. Like I said, you need to sit down with a third party "guidance person" and plot the summer and beyond.

I'm not at all being judgmental on your child or parenting, I'm reporting from the trenches of having not-so-perfect teens and ranted plenty enough to anyone who would listen! This was before the internets!

With all due respect to your daughter, there seems to be a communication problem, so I don't recommend homeschooling at all ! Trust me on this one :)

[redqueen]

11. Please don't apologize for your rants...

they show that you care deeply about your daughter's education. Good luck with homeschooling... hopefully you can teach her that what she probably regards as mindless busywork (since she passes without doing it) actually does have its benefits.

:hug:

[Deja Q]

16. Insane. The principal and staff should be sacked in principle; and new,

responsible, people hired.