I'd like some prayers or good vibes, please.

[catbert836]

Okay, many of you know all about this, but for those of you who don't, I'll just lay it out.

I'm a high school student. Right now my parents are going through a very bitter divorce. How it happened is this: My dad moved out in Febuary, convinced that his marriage had no point anymore. I was at a Speech and Debate tournament when it happened, and he was back by the time I was. He decided that he wasn't going to let my mom force him out of the house. Things cleared up for a while, with my mom and dad making good progress in counseling. Then, in early March, my mom decided out of the blue to move out. Her reasoning was that my dad was yelling at her (although not very often from what I can see). She informed me after she picked up my brother and I from our respective schools. I refused to go with her, mainly because I didn't want my dad to break down, and to show my mom she couldn't/shouldn't do anything like that without consequences. My brother and two cats went with her.

My dad became convinced that the breakup was the result of my mom listening to man-haters at the Al-Anon group she goes to. (Note: My dad has not drunk any alcohol since he was 24). I'm now subjected to daily lectures on how evil AA, al-Anon, and the 12-Step Program are. When my mom's Al-Anon sponsor called the house by accident, he barrated her with a lecture about how she had broken up his family, and eventually told her to "F*** off and die." I, too am worried about my mom's obsession with Al-Anon, but I don't think it is a cult like my dad does. Also, he has become increasingly misogynistic, encouraging me to either not get married, ever or become a priest.

I have been seeing a psychologist, and this has helped a great deal, especially with recent events. For example, my dad just took a framed picture of me and my brother, him and my mom, and all 4 of the grandparents, cut my mom and her parent's figures out of it, and handed it to my mom along with her child support for my brother. Also, my mom has become ambivalent to me and my brother's needs, preferring instead to spend the whole day on the phone with her freinds, mostly from Al-Anon.

A few hours ago, my dad picked me up from visiting my mom, brother, and cats. He informed me that I will have to be leaving my Catholic high school (which I just got used to) and go to public school, because he doesn't have enough money to send me there. I have had conversations with my mom on this subject, and she told me she would take advantage of a line of credit that my grandparents have opened for her and her brother when they need money. I told my dad about this, but he said that I wouldn't be able to go back unless my mom signed a waiver indemnifying him of any responsibility for paying the tution. I also found out we have to be moving out of the house I've lived in for 5 years, because my dad can't afford the mortgage.

Like I said, prayers, good vibes, advice or whatever anyone can do would be very much appreciated. Thanks, guys.

[catbert836]

1. Kick

n/t

[enigmatic]

2. you got it

All the good vibes I can muster:)

[catbert836]

4. I very much appreciate this.

Thanks a lot, enigmatic. :hi:

[Sannum]

3. Prayers and good vibes on their way....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[catbert836]

6. Thanks so much.

:hi:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

5. You got it :)

:hug:

[catbert836]

7. Muchisimas Gracias

:hi:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

34. Your are so welcome .

:hi: :hug:

[Floogeldy]

8. Massive good vibes coming your way.

:smoke:

[catbert836]

9. And massive thanks for them.

:hi:

[Kathleen04]

10. Best wishes

Hope everything sorts itself out for the better. :hug:

[catbert836]

12. It always does.

I've learned that. :hi:

[nini]

11. this breaks my heart

My sister and her boys went through hell with an ugly divorce like this when their dad took them away from her - long story, just know it's ugly. It makes me nuts to have the kids affected any more than they have to.

Seek out as much help as you can with counseling etc.. so you can deal with the crap between them. Try to not let them take it out on you though I know that's not easy.

Hang in there. You have all my good vibes and prayers I can send you.

:hug:

[catbert836]

15. Many thanks!

:hi:

[enigami]

13. good vibes it is

I wish I could do more. You will be a better person someday because of this .

[catbert836]

16. That's what I'm hoping for.

And many thanks for the good vibes. :hi:

[Upfront]

14. You Have My Prayers

Try to remember there relationship problems are not your fault. You sound like a great kid to me. Your job is to get a good education, public school will be good to. Keep on keeping on. Live your life not there's. Now is your time to show the world you have what it takes, you can!

[catbert836]

19. Yes, public school will also be good.

I just left the public middle school last year for my current Catholic school, so I still have many friends there. And thanks for the prayers :hi:

[BikeWriter]

17. Aww, what a mess, Pard. I'm so very sorry...

you're going through this! Hold your head up, hang in there with your schooling, and the best of luck to you!

[catbert836]

21. Thanks a lot.

I'll make sure to do everything you said. :hi:

[indigo32]

18. I'm always here to listen

and sending good vibes your way.

[catbert836]

22. I appreciate it, a lot.

:hi:

[knowbody0]

20. i am so sorry you have to go through this crap

IMHO there should be a law making it illegal to scare and worry your children. Please learn from this what not to do to your own kids. peace and love to you and your brother and your two cats

[catbert836]

23. Oh, I know.

Any kids I have will NOT be subject to any of these things, or even remotely close. Thanks a lot. :hi:

[lildreamer316]

24. Sending my best

hoodoo (just kidding) good energy your way. These are tough years for anyone, but I think you will come out of this with a few gifts.
For help, I will consult the master; Richard Bach....(sorry so many; I think he is quite the conveyer of truth)

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

"You have no birthday because you have always lived; you were never born, and never will die. You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are."

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."

"Imagine the universe beautiful and just and perfect.Then be sure of one thing:The Is has imagined it quite a bit better than you have."

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." (or said a different way) "There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go."

"In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice."

"Listen to what you know instead of what you fear."

[catbert836]

26. Richard Bach is a very wise man.

And thanks for all the quotes and good energy. They helped more than you can know.
:hi:

[lildreamer316]

29. When you get a chance...

pick up some of his books. Now, he warns against idolizing him, but it's hard not to do with all the truth he speaks. I reccomend Illusions or Johnathan Livingston Seagull first, because One and Bridge and Running (shortened titles) all kind of have a common storyline/timeline. Illusions & GLS are short; not a long read but a profound one. Kinda gives you a chance for a new perspective. Again; good luck.

[catbert836]

31. Sure thing!

I'll see if they have any at the library next time I'm there.

[Bossy Monkey]

25. You sound like the only mature, intelligent person in the whole situation

You may have to consider legally declaring yourself an emancipated minor and getting the heck out of there. Good luck and best wishes, surely. Try to get your dad into further counseling; he sure as hell needs it.

[catbert836]

27. Thanks

I'm not sure I'm reasy to emancipate myself yet. But it surely is an option. My dad should be getting counseling, I don't know why he isn't. It's just ridiculous.

[progmom]

28. my thoughts and prayers are with you

The important thing now is to remember who you are, and be true to yourself.

:hug:

We're here for you.

[catbert836]

30. I know.

That's why I came to DU, after all. :hi:

[donheld]

32. You got it

Best of luck to you.

[catbert836]

36. Many, many thanks.

You guys are the best. :hi:

[catbert836]

33. Thanks so much to everyone who has replied.

Your prayers, good vibes, advice, quotes, etc. help me more than any of you can know. I'm sure this situation won't stay like this forever. I wouldn't come to any other place but DU to post something like this.

[tibbir]

35. I'm so sorry you're caught in the crosshairs

of your parents' fighting. Good luck getting through this. Be sure and work with your psychologist to deal with the daily stress.

[catbert836]

38. Thanks a lot, Tibbir.

I will work with my psychologist on daily stress... that hasn't come up a lit. Thanks again. :hi:

[Wapsie B]

37. Prayers and good vibes

coming your way. I don't have any advice for you. But it's good you're talking to a psychologist.

[catbert836]

39. No problem

I'm doing the best I can without advice anyway. Thanks again :hi:

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

40. Wow. A kick, and encouragement in the Lord.

I won't even pretend to know what you're going through, but my heart goes out. My prayers are that you will stay strong, and that your parents can work this out.

[catbert836]

41. They will work it out.

Everything does in the end. That's one thing I'm sure of. Thanks for the encouragement. :hi:

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

42. No problem. :)