discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

[unhappycamper]

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

A LITTLE MORE
http://www.dullmen.com/governmentium.htm

[sui generis]

1. really. I thought it was republicanium -

it is actually an isodope of governmentium that invades otherwise inert chemical reactions seeking hydrocarbon fuel sources.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Hehe

"These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert."

[trotsky]

3. Actually I originally heard this called Administratium.

And it used terms like ceo, vice-presidents, administrative assistants, etc.

Guess some repuke thought they'd rather have it bash "big government."