Corporate Idiocy - Vice President of Functional Excellence

[bleedingheart]

This is the latest "title" given to some high-ranking, overpaid, "strategic thinker" at my company....

I wonder...how do they come up with these profoundly stupid titles.

Oh by the way...there is no real description of what this individual will be functionally excellent at but I bet it is golf...

[Gyre]

1. Contact the shareholders anonymously.

They're probably not going to like paying for another fat boy playing golf.

Gyre

[bleedingheart]

4. this information is public to all shareholders

it is a publicly traded company on the Fortune 500 list...

[Bunny]

2. I am going to have that added to my business cards.

Bunny __________, Vice-President of Functional Excellence.

I think that looks and sounds wonderful. I am a natural for this job!

PS - when are we going to see pics of the Pittsburgh meet-up? :)

[bleedingheart]

3. I am going to nag Mr. B about that tonight...

he has the photos on the camera but hasn't put them on the web yet for posting...but then again we were gone over a week on vacation..

[CitrusLib]

5. That's ridiculous. My company is great at pulling job titles

out of their corporate asses too.

Another good one: I just got a peek at my VP of Purchasing's resume. Before he got hired, he'd been out of work for a year. He has no college degree and the resume doesn't even mention any college coursework completed. This is the first high level executive position he's had. I'm guessing he has naked pictures of the company President in his possession. Maybe with animals.

In case you're wondering, he's a total fuck up and couldn't find his head with two hands and a map.

[bleedingheart]

7. oh I see that all the time

like the gal who applied for a job that required an engineering degree in a specific field....but had only two years of college for voice...

Now we have hired two people to "help her" including one that is a contractor that is raking in the bucks....

[Redstone]

6. You MUST let us know what the actual job description is, when they

make it available.

Every time we think we've seen in all in Corporate America, they sandbag us with something even more ridiculous than we'd ever believe.

I am SO glad I've never worked for a large corporation; I'd last about six hours.

Redstone

[tigereye]

8. as opposed to "dysfunctional excellence!"

I used to think Dilbert was just a joke, until my husband who has worked for lots of diff. companies informed me differently. Although I have to say that non-profits ( for whom I have always worked) do this kind of thing, too.