What can I do to get more of a 'bad boy' image on DU?

[Zuni]

I've tried everything. At various times I have passed myself off as a biker, a mafioso, an enraged hillbilly, a goth, a black panther, a telemarketer and as some sort of half man/half goat creature. None of it has worked. I am still not feared by the stodgy older folks here, nor fawned over by the young ladies.

What should I do to become a more menacing DUer?

Even hanging around with a smiley crack fiend hasn't made me more of a threat to the established order. :(

[Sannum]

1. kill a freeper

[blondeatlast]

4. Or claim to be one. Wait--

Nevermind, that just indicates you are stupid.

[demnan]

2. Drink Zomby Woof's coffee

[Zuni]

7. I said bad, not crazy

we all saw the video of him alone with the coffee pot :o

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

53. OK...

Kick Skittles' ass.
Shock NSMA.
Get Skinner tombstoned.

[ET Awful]

3. You have yet to badmouth kitties.

Nobody is really a bad boy on DU until they badmouth kitties.

[sui generis]

12. I just ate one for breakfast

(burp) chewy on the outside, crunchy in the middle.

[Liberal Veteran]

5. Become a Fox News "reporter"

And you'll have to beat the young inbred redneck sister-wives off with t a stick.

[Zuni]

18. I didn't say become stupid

:P

[progmom]

6. stop being such a sweetheart?

:loveya:

[sui generis]

kill 'em with kindness

blech I need a shot of insulin :P

[Wetzelbill]

17. yeah, good advice.....

Personally I felt the enraged hillbilly one should have done it for him.

[Zuni]

23. you know, I am a big softie on the inside

but shhhhhh.....it hurts my rebel image :P

[tigereye]

35. eh

that's what I was going to say pmom!

[JimmyJazz]

8. I'm afraid of you....

in a fawning sorta way :P

[Zuni]

25. It must be my slick backed hair

or my "Pharoahs" street gang jacket, or my wild "rebel without a cause" attitude.

:P

[JimmyJazz]

26. Yes. It's all of those things. And the fact that you send me cookies.

Keep 'em coming. :D

[Zuni]

29. ix-nay on the ookays

sending women sweets and flowers is bad for my image. Tell everyone I got you hooked on dope or I'm pimping you or something :P

[tigereye]

36. damn

sigh. I do love those leather jacketed guys with sideburns. Well, you've won the married lady contingent, not that that's any help!

;)

[Zuni]

40. I am also rebellious, in a cinematic kind of way

I carry a switchblade and a comb in my back pocket :D

[tigereye]

45. awwww

that's so romantic...;)

uh-oh, sounds like I have a James Dean or Fonz fixation. Well, maybe Gene Vincent.

[sui generis]

9. how many times have you been deleted today so far?

not a great strategy though since only one in ten of my posts seems to survive for longer than five minutes, and only the sugary syrupy sweet ones. }(

Okay, so maybe going all snakepit on DU is kind of like peeing yourself in a dark suit - you're warm and happy but you're the only one who knows you did it.

heh heh heh

[SarahB]

10. You could go out with me.

I help turn quiet, slightly geeky suburban dads into total freaks. :evilgrin:

On second thought, I think I've reached the last stop of my DU love life life. Nice in theory though. :D

[Pale Blue Dot]

84. It's true. One day I was Richie Cunningham,

The next I was Richie Cunningham: Super Freak. I like the change. :evilgrin:

[SarahB]

86. Someone should morf these pics...

Don't you love hijacking these threads? :evilgrin:

[slackmaster]

11. Get drunk and tip over some Port-A-Potties

Be sure to post the pics.

[sui generis]

16. bonus points if you're inside it when you tip it over

:popcorn:

[Beware the Beast Man]

13. Zuncock photos?

:shrug:

[Zuni]

20. ahhh, the old Beastman strategy

;)

[Wetzelbill]

14. hang out with me, I'm a bad ass

I put dimes in my penny loafers just last night. B-)

[Yit]

15. Wear all white

Throw million dollar parties! Heck, works for P-Diddy.

[Zuni]

28. well, if P-Diddy does it

it must be bad ass :D

[RandomKoolzip]

19. Post about how much cocaine you've just snorted, then post pics of your

vomit.

Change your sig line to an actual photo of a crack smoker.

[Zuni]

27. all excellent ideas

:thumbsup:

[sui generis]

30. well I thought it was cocaine

it was white. it was powder. fu-fu-fucking freezehead from hell

[underpants]

21. One word:Flightsuit

:bounce:

[Misunderestimator]

22. You could have a foot fetish or something...

:shrug:

[Beware the Beast Man]

24. Excellent idea!

:thumbsup:

[Richardo]

31. Become more like me: I have the edgiest, most radical persona on DU

:rofl:

[Zuni]

32. I heard you killed a man to watch him die

:o

[Richardo]

41. Well, I did tell lame jokes 'til he left the room...

But still!

[Bunny]

43. I am afraid of you most days.

:scared:



edited to add this: :D lest anyone misunderstand!

[Richardo]

44. Thanks Bunny!

Wait, I mean....Damn straight, Bunny!

[Liberal Veteran]

33. Get a purple hippo (dinosaur?) slapping it's belly for your sig.

:D

[Lannes]

34. If everyone on the board likes something say you hate it.

Even if you dont.

[sui generis]

38. hold forth about how you think with proper therapy

Schiavo might still recover. Get some people to agree with you.

[Lannes]

42. Thats the express train to "bad boy"

[StopTheMorans]

37. make fun of U2 fans and hippies

it has the added bonus of quickly outing the people you should add to your ignore list too :thumbsup:

[Zuni]

39. how about posting daily threads about Tom Cruise's sexuality?

think that will help?

[StopTheMorans]

49. it will help your personal popularity, and you will be doing a

service to your country :patriot:

[Zuni]

65. darn tooting

:patriot:

'I support Tom Cruise threads' are the hot new yellow ribbon bumper stickers

[bridgit]

46. bwahaha ~ the typical bad boy:

is cocky, arrogant
always puts himself first
is inattentive to a woman's needs
does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks
acts like a loose cannon
struts his masculine sexuality
isn't even remotely a "nice" guy
treats women badly
often uses women for sex

Ask any single woman on the street what she's looking for in a man and she'll tell you that she wants a nice guy with a sense of humor who will treat her well. But then she'll turn around and fall all over herself trying to get to a Bad Boy who will use and abuse her.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/126_dating_advice.html

do you not already fit 'the bill' :rofl: if not why not it's all the rage

[tigereye]

68. nah

we want good guys who LOOK like bad boys! ;)

[bridgit]

69. ah yes, 'the preacher's son/mickey rourke complex'...

at play...i have a form of one of those :thumbsup:

[Gyre]

47. Welcome to the democratic party.

There's room here for all of your multiple personalities! Takes alot to become fearsome here, but allow me to make a suggestion: wear a suit, get a brush-cut and wear a badge. That'll get you the attention you crave (and all the chicks too). These dems love authority figures! :sarcasm:

Gyre

[Rabrrrrrr]

48. You need to be edgier

Wear unmatched socks.

Tie your tie in a two-hand, and then LOOSEN IT. That always freaks people out and let's them know you are psycho batshit.

WIDE pinstripes on your suit.

Grow your hair past your ears. People will actually tremble before you!

Only tip thirteen percent.

After your barber has cut your hair, beat him to death with a baseball bat and mail the head back to his mother with a note that says "Courtest of a batshit psycho crazy BAD BOY, bitch."

Drive a couple miles an hour over the speed limit. It'll get you there faster, but more importantly, it's let those fucking pig cops know that you don't buy into their law-and-order police-state bullshit.

Set your lighter to maximum flame.

When the theater usher asks you to take your feet off the seat, say, "Okay, I will, but I'll have you know that I am doing so UNDER PROTEST, and I will log this in my journal."

When a form says to use black ink only, use blue, just to let them know that you do not respect arbitrary authoritarian bullshit.

[Zuni]

57. wow

that theater Usher thing is brilliant. I want you to be my PR man :thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

88. I would be happy to be your PR guy!

And you just HAVE to do the barber one.

[sui generis]

67. yee haw

what he said! :hi:

[Zomby Woof]

50. Quit giving out ZombyHugs

;-)

[Zuni]

60. what about zombeehugs

they are my patented trademark ;)

[sniffa]

51. stick wit me kid

we'LL go pLaces you've never dreamed of! :yoiks:

[Zuni]

61. Like the zoo?

I love the zoo :bounce:

[Kire]

52. keep posting multiple choice questions without the poll option

polls are for squares

[bicentennial_baby]

54. act like sniffa

:P everyone knows he's our resident bad boy...

[BlondieK143]

87. Nah, he tries to be.

Unfortunately, he's just too cute and nice for that.

[48pan]

55. Type FUCK a whole lot.

[In_The_Wind]

56. just smile

it makes everyone wonder why ... :think:

[Zuni]

62. I could get a real dumb grin

and constantly scratch myself in inappropriate places---that might work

[In_The_Wind]

66. well

it might IF you forget about the "constantly scratch myself in inappropriate places" part

ewwww

[Left Is Write]

58. Why do you need to?

[BikeWriter]

59. Well, us stodgy older folks are not easily scared, Pard.

I can pretend fear if you'd like?

[Zuni]

63. BOO!

Scare ya? Hows the ticker old man? HA :P

[BikeWriter]

64. YIKES! Oh, oh, my heart.................

[datasuspect]

70. maybe you could take potshots

at "fringe" posters and become somewhat of a conservative liberal.

[RPM]

71. eat cornflake battered chicken-fried veal

that'll do it

[Zuni]

73. I'll kill you over that

sorry, I'm in flamewar mode when I see those words :hi:

[Richardo]

72. Equate chorizo with kielbasa

:scared:

[Zuni]

74. They are pretty much the same thing arent they?

:shrug:

[Richardo]

75. Rachael sez:

"You bet your EVOO-covered ass, boyeeee."

[Zuni]

76. she is so fine

I wish she didn't say EVOO

[Sugar Smack]

77. I think you should soundly punish people who don't PM you

in a timely manner. No, really SPANK them. Eat some Jacob's Ladder. Go nuts.

By the by, for YOU, I fawn because I am.

:loveya:

[Rockholm]

78. Hang Out With Sniffa.

[iconoclastic cat]

79. You must bring us a shrubbery!

[musette_sf]

80. Become a movie bootlegger, baby!

http://www.geocities.com/seinfeld_soundbites/bootleg.mp3

[khashka]

81. Stalk people online

and use the word C*** a lot. Hey, it works for me :)

Khash.

[Arkana]

82. You know, I wondered the same thing once

Then I decided it was easier just to be the resident sarcastic, cynical comedian. :P

[KamaAina]

83. Your threads need more cowbell

[KitchenWitch]

85. Keep posting the Chick Tracts!

You are enough of a trouble maker to be fun, without all the baggage!

:yourock:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

89. Get a pissing "rude boy" avatar