The new code talkers?

[jmowreader]

The Code Talkers were Navajo speakers who joined the Marines in World War II. They spoke Navajo on the radio as an unbreakable encryption system; it worked because the Japanese were never able to act on intercepted code talker transmissions. There's a whole exhibit in the National Cryptologic Museum and a fairly bad major motion picture dedicated to them.

Today, if the government needs a new breed of code talkers, they just need to recruit all the 70-year-old Southern men they possibly can.

This afternoon, a 70-year-old Southern man came up and asked where the "lumber" is. Sounded like lumber, anyway. I took him to the lumber aisle. He started getting real frantic. "I need lumber. Lumber. Lumber."

'Sir, the lumber is right here. We have lots of lumber.'

"No! Lumber. You know. Lawn. Mower. Blades. Lumber."

The guy was saying "lawn mower" so fast and with such a heavy accent that it sounded like "lumber" to me. However, another 70-year-old Southern man would have known exactly what the guy wanted.

So here's what I figure: We recruit a whole shitload of 70-year-old Southern men. We teach them how to use the new radio. We then send them to the Middle East. They've lived in Iraq-like weather all their lives, so they know how to survive the heat. They were all in World War II, so they know how to survive combat. And most of 'em have Bush stickers on the back of their pickups, so they support this war. And when they come back, they'll have enough tax-free income saved up that they'll never need to worry about whether their hero turns Social Security into a Ponzi scheme or whether their old companies decide to cut pensions to save a penny per share.

[Spinzonner]

1. Isn't the south wet heat

while Iraq is dry heat ?

May need to soak them regularly.

[CrispyQ]

2. J'eet yet?

Saw that on a tee shirt. Took me two days to figure it out!

As a young girl I went to Dallas one summer & I did not understand what they were saying. I knew it was English, but it didn't sound English to me.

I am sooooooo, soooooo, bad with accents. Once I ordered Chinese food for pick up & the woman asked "Who are you?" I thought she was saying "How are you?" so I answered "I'm fine." She asked me three times & each time I answered "I'm fine." My husband was cracking up, shouting, "Give her your name." I simply did not get it. Duh!

It's taken me several shows to understand that little Meatwad guy.

[Ian David]

3. I had a talk with a Texan the other day. Sort of.

It was like talking to Boomhauer.

[Lannes]

4. How about the guys from" Airplane"?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/quotes

Memorable Quotes from
Airplane! (1980)

First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH...
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.