Now I'm never going to convince husband to move to a big city.

[Bouncy Ball]

I'm heartbroken by the deaths in London.

And now something else: I was *this* close to convincing my husband to move to a big urban area instead of living in the suburbs. I even said someday when we can afford it, we'll also buy a little cabin somewhere rural, but reachable from whatever city we are living in, to satisfy both of our occasional needs for quiet.

Now he told me this morning "You want to worry every time you get on the subway or a train that something's going to happen? I don't want to live like that."

So let's just languish in the suburbs instead.

:-(

Huge setback. And I feel bad even griping about that, I mean people have DIED for crying out loud. But it doesn't remove the fact that now he's even more convinced than ever that we shouldn't live in the heart of a big city.

DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT SHIT.

So I'll have to outlive him and move to a big city when I'm a little old lady.

[mike_c]

1. ugh-- I'm with your husband on that one....

And it's got nothing to do with fear of terrorism. I HATE cities, or at least most American ones.

[Bouncy Ball]

2. His isn't fear, either.

I don't think he really FEARS much at all.

He just thinks statistically, it's safer not living in a big city.

PLUS big cities aren't his favorite place (ok to visit) so this, I think, just gave him a great excuse to say "forget it."

[mike_c]

4. yup-- that's what I'd do...

...if I needed a better reason than I simply "don't wanna!" :-)

[Bouncy Ball]

7. He used "I don't wanna" for a while, but I was

slowly wearing him down.

Now this.

:-(

[mike_c]

10. I'll bet the "wearing down" process...

...had its fun moments, though. Think of this as an opportunity to start again!

[AndyTiedye]

16. Some People are Wired for City Living, Some Are Not

In America, a lot of us are not. That may be why our ancestors came here.

[burrowowl]

21. Of course when gas is at

4, 5, 6 dollars a gallon. Mass transit might make sense. As well as appartment complexes burning refuse for heat.

[mike_c]

28. I live in a TINY rural town with a bus system that runs directly...

...to my office, thanks to an Indian casino on the outskirts of town. The transit system is run by the tribe, and was part of their deal with the town for the casino permits. Absolutely the best of both worlds! I can catch the bus about 20 m outside my front door, and it drops me off on campus, about 100 m from my office door. It's also an easy 45 minute bike commute, so I'm not especially fearful of gas price increases-- anything that will cut consumption is a good thing in my book!

[JanMichael]

3. Define "Big City" please. Does Wichita or KC count?

How about Raleigh or Charlotte? Maybe Tampa or Naples?

What's the cut-off?

[Bouncy Ball]

5. No. I mean BIG.

New York City or Chicago big. London big.

We already live in a suburb of Dallas, so it's not like we don't have easy access to two southern cities (Ft. Worth being the other), but...

[JanMichael]

9. How about a BIG city outside of the beligerant nations?

Like Toronto or Quebec? Or Paris or Warsaw? Or Praha or Tokyo? Or perhaps Caracas or Havana?

[Bouncy Ball]

12. Hey I'd love Toronto or Quebec.

But on our immigration test thingie, we just barely scored high enough to be taken. One point over minimum. So I'm afraid of finding jobs.

Plus to be honest, I don't want to leave the US. Not right now. They aren't running me off. I'm staying to fight.

Ideally, if money were no object, we'd buy a home in Austin, Texas (keep our votes in Texas) and then split our time between there and New York, London, and other places.

But sigh. Need to win the lottery. Need to play it, too. LOL!

[politicaholic]

6. See, he's just succumbing to the will of the terrorists...

plus, it's not as if commuter trains are exploding daily like meth-lab trailers in the Arizona desert.

Sheesh, look at the odds. Commuting out to the city is far far far more dangerous because of idiot drivers.

Also remember, all of those trains were coming from the suburbs of London. Most of the people who died were suburbanites I would guess.

Good luck.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. Good point, thanks.

[48pan]

11. I've lived in big cities and small towns...

Small towns are MUCH better. Visit the cities. Live in the towns.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. Small town

Shudder. Shudder. Shudder some more.

No, we do agree on one thing: we both love really rural areas AND big cities.

Problem is, I love big cities for LIVING in and rural areas for VISITING.

He is the exact opposite.

And the great irony of it all is that we live in NEITHER. The suburbs. Which we BOTH despise.

I would laugh, but it's not really very ha ha funny, ya know?

[Kathy in Cambridge]

14. Most of the higher crime rates are in areas of suburban sprawl

statistically, cities like Boston and NYC are safer than many small cities and suburbs.

http://www.morganquitno.com/cit05pop.htm

with regard to terrorism, your husband is right.to get the most bang for their buck, they'll probably strike areas of highest popularion density: the Northeast corridor from Boston to DC, LA, Chicago or San Francisco. I heard on the news that Boston has 2 million commuters using public transportation per day. I'm usually one of them.

[barb162]

15. I'm reading a book now "THe Long Emergency" about the energy

situation in this country and the author is very against suburbia (need cars/gasoline to do everything) and that it will be a way of life that is going to be gone soon. I live in a suburb as do most AMericans. From the terrorist standpoint, I am glad I am not living in a really large city, but I have access to it. I also used to work on the 90th floor of a landmark building and I am so glad I 'm not in that bldg. anymore.

I suspect small cities may be the best place to live re terrorism and gasoline problems. I just don't know anymore.

(Your post made me giggle: So I'll have to outlive him)

[AndyTiedye]

24. Horses, Bikes, Small EVs, and Vegetable Gardens

I don't think there is anything innately impossible about it.

[elehhhhna]

17. Wait for the peak oil thingy to pick up. When there's no gas

for the car he'll be sorry he didn't buy near public transportation sooner. Then you smile sweetly and start looking.

[AndyTiedye]

19. Public Transportation Has a Feeble and Fitful Presence in Most of the US

You can buy along a bus route and they can cancel the bus route.
Railroad lines are more permanent, but stations can move.
An even bigger problem is having one's job move.

So many workplaces have little or no transit access,
that many people have to drive to work even if they
live in the city near a transit station.

[elehhhhna]

27. There's always Chicago.

[GOPisEvil]

18. But the suburbs have no soul!!

Can't you feel your soul draining from your body living in the 'burbs? Guess what, I'm willing to bet that the Texas freeway system is just as dangerous as any public transportation in this state.

[barb162]

31. A few do, IMHO, about 1%. and I much prefer the city except for

a few things: smaller houses at gigantic prices compared to the suburbs, smaller lots, if any, etc. I have done vertical living and depending on the people living on the sides and above and below you, it can be enjoyable or hell. I live around solid pugs and it is draining. I think big cities have a lot of vitality and I love the cosmopolitan nature of cities. Even though I lived in a supposedly sophisticated suburb, all the people seem to talk about is their kids and the teachers and their lawns.

[Bouncy Ball]

32. No shit. I've nearly died on it too many times.

And yeah, the burbs have no soul, you are right!

Thank goodness he has no problem with Austin, that's just a matter of jobs.

[Sannum]

20. I live smack-dab in the middle of Chicago

I love it. My neighborhood actually has a small-town vibe. I can walk to the Magnificent Mile, but in my neighborhood it is very small and friendly.

I feel safer walking after dark than I do in the suburb that I lived in before.

Sorry you can't seem to convince him:(

[GOPisEvil]

22. Damn, I'm jealous.

:(

[Sannum]

25. It is nice...

It is also nice to have the knowledge that you can have any sort of cuisine in existance delivered in about 45 minutes.

I moved here on an impulse and I do not regret it.

[GOPisEvil]

26. Sigh...I wish I'd done that when I was younger.

I could still do it, but I'd have to get a job there, sell my house here, blah, blah, blah...

[crispini]

23. Move downtown.

Don't you wanna be an urban pioneer? and hey, it's getting cooler by the day. The new Merc is gonna ROCK. :7

[musical_soul]

29. Give it time.

He might change his mind when the fear wears off. Meanwhile, can't you get the benefits of the city by living in the smaller towns nearby?

[Kathleen04]

30. If you

ever get the opportunity to go for a "compromise", I endorse Long Island. It's pricey but cheaper than Manhattan itself. NYC is close by and easily reachable by train. Of course, you can always drive into it, but I can't wholly recommend that.

There are also other burroughs of NYC (apart from Manhattan) to look into as well..best of luck, Bouncy Ball. As soon as recent events become more distant you can go back to lobbying full force. :)

[Telly Savalas]

33. Remind him that the odds of getting hurt in a car accident plummet

if your primary mode of transport is the subway.