"you could try abstinence."

[prole_for_peace]

told to me by a co-worker this morning as i was in the restroom getting my depo injection ready for another co-worker to "pop" it in my arm.

holy crap! i just looked at her. she is a rw fundie. she has never said anything to me before but i have overheard her talking to her other rw cohorts.

#1 i am freaking 39 years old and i will have sex if i want to have sex, dammit.

#2 i also use it because i don't have a cycle with it. i haven't had a period (plus horrible cramps and pms) in YEARS. yea..

#3 i am freaking 39 years old and i will have sex if i want to have sex, dammit.

#4 MYODB!!!

[BattyDem]

1. "you could try minding your own f*cking business!"

Why do these people think they have the right to dictate how everyone else lives?! :grr:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

2. You could try STICKING YOUR UNWANTED OPINION UP YOUR ASS would

seem an appropriate response, given the situation.

[jeff30997]

3. Well said !

What a stupid @%$#!!!

[iamjoy]

4. Uh, Why Were You Doing This At Work?

I mean, why not at home?

[prole_for_peace]

11. cause i can't give it to myself and my doctor doesn't administer the

injections anymore because my insurance won't pay, so my best friend (who also works with me) injects me every three months.

i am discreet usually. i had to get the air out of the needle so i was over the sink so i wouldn't make a mess with the med and then we usually go in an empty stall.

[Ariana Celeste]

5. MYODB is right dude

Why do people think they can just walk up and say shit like that? Yeesh.

I'm glad you like depo- made me very moody and I didn't much like the weight gain, but I've heard almost nothing but good about it from others.

[prole_for_peace]

12. i was already moody before so no big diff.

my effexor takes care of it now. and i didn't really gain much weight on it just a few lbs

[musical_soul]

6. Sad.

It's sad that this woman feels she has to tell you how to live your life. It's also sad that she doesn't talk to you any other time. How judgmental.

[u4ic]

19. Welcome to DU, musical_soul!

:toast:

[Wetzelbill]

22. yeah, a big welcome from me too

You among friends here. We're like a big family.

[WindRavenX]

7. What a bitch

I'd tell her to munch my ass.

[nickgutierrez]

8. "You can try a nice, warm glass of STFU."

:mad:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

13. Here ya go

[nickgutierrez]

17. That's the image I had in mind.

I'm stealing that, if you don't mind. :)

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

18. I already stole it so it's all good.

[Bleacher Creature]

9. Mayberry Machiavelli nailed it.

The reason I don't post stories like this is because someone will undoubtedly come along with the absolute best comeback -- and it will be too late to you.

Hence, you get stuck with "The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

BTW -- Who are these people that "try abstinence" well into their 30s and 40s? I'm betting there's some serious "deviance" going on there.

[Wetzelbill]

25. "Oh yeah, I slept with your wife"

[Bleacher Creature]

27. "His wife is in a coma." n/t

[Wetzelbill]

28. you are a true artist

:thumbsup:

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. Sounds like your co-worker's not getting any.

:nopity:

[prole_for_peace]

16. that is what my friend that injected me said.

this abstinence woman has horrible country hair. (big poufy bangs and a bad spiral perm - had for years) so we decided that if i had her hair i could probably try abstinence even if i didn't want too.

the worst part is she is younger than me by about 8 years but looks and acts like an old sour puss. i thought she was a tired looking mid forties when i first met her. i guess marriage, a kid and all that religion and conservatism isn't conducive to youthfulness. (plus the hair)

[Wetzelbill]

23. hahaha, you know the Chris Rock comment about Clinton's naysayers right?

They were all talking about being faithful and righteous etc and Chris Rock said:" Hey, ain't nobody trying to blow you."

So, I guess if you did look old and tired it would be easy to never get any action too.

Fundies age like that because hate and bigotry takes a toll on you in rapid fashion.

[fortyfeetunder]

58. Reminds me of another comeback line

Which is not so tasteful...

"yeah, if I looked like you, I'd try abstinence too"

[seriousstan]

14. I couldn't agree more. 39 is old enough to know what you are doing.

This is one of the reasons I don't think people should inject themselves in other peoples conversations REGARDLESS of how right or left wing the conversation may be.

[WCGreen]

43. hell 16 is old enough to know what your doing

if you get the right education...

If you don't get any education then 39 is may be too young

They are afraid of knowledge, personal choice and freedom....

Why do they hate America

[BOSSHOG]

15. I'd love for some zealot to tell my 53 year old wife that.

She takes birth control pills and it has nothing to do with preventing births. Her doctor prescribes them for whatever a doctor prescribes them for, but please any dumbass christian zealot, approach my wife, totally inshape and beautiful and totally liberal wife and chat with her that she should be abstinent. Medieaval, I believe the word is although I know I'm spelling it wrong. My wife would get neanderthal on your nosy ass. But please make sure I'm there to witness your rapture.

[Wetzelbill]

26. buddy, you just sound totally in love

And, that's a good thing. :)

[khashka]

44. Hahahahaha

You and your lovely wife are definitely my kinda people!

Khash.

[youthere]

20. Um....

Why is she so certain that you're taking the shots to stop pregnancy? Women take birth control for other reasons. Should have said "Is that ALL you can think about?"

[prole_for_peace]

29. damn,

that would have been perfect. damn. maybe i can set her up to say it again and then *bam* i hit her with that.

[youthere]

50. LOL

*prays for another perfect setup*

[Wetzelbill]

21. I'm a liberal Democrat adult Christian who has been celibate for years....

I made that decision for myself and didn't need to be told to do so. I also don't feel the need to tell other adults what the hell to do with their bodies. Plus, I'm 30, if I'm going to have sex I'm going to do so. It's not like my own abstinence is set in stone. It just has worked out that I decided not to be the same person I once was. I'm less likely to have a one-night stand now then I was say, 5 years ago. I just haven't found somebody I have cared about enough to sleep with for a few years. When I do I will. I know who I am and I'm a good person whether or not I have premarital sex.

So my advice to everybody is to just be safe, be yourself and be as good a person as you can be. Who cares what a fundie thinks? While they are out judging and oppressing people, people like us are working for social change. We stand for the the things that make America great, and that has nothing to do with what goes on in our bedrooms.

[meow2u3]

33. Another liberal, celibate Dem here--only I'm Catholic

I've been celibate for 12 1/2 years (I'm 44 1/2) I like the control over my own sexual urges that comes with voluntary celibacy.

Personally, I think by my abstaining, I've gotten more in touch with, and knowlegdeable of, my sexuality, than during my youth. I'm also freer to do other things I like to do, without wasting my time looking for some guy just for a fling, only to risk becoming trapped in an abusive relationship.

I don't know about you, but one day I would like to find a decent guy and get into some real relationship, but I never found a suitable mate.


Some people think I'm trying to push my lifestyle on them. They think they're not allowed to enjoy sex because I forego it. But that's just my lifestyle; I'm imposing my lifestyle on no one.

[Wetzelbill]

34. I was raised Catholic

not an avid churgoer though. I'm debating my denomination right now. Not sure if I'll rededicate myself as a Catholic or what.

I'd like to find someone to love and share my life with too, but haven't found a suitable mate either. I'm sort of eccentric, haha. My passions have always been somewhere besides the opposite sex, in all honesty. Whether it was as a serious athlete, writer, etc, I just seemed to have different priorities.

[prole_for_peace]

61. i am in a committed relationship.

we have been together 10 years. we are not married nor do we live together. we are looking to buy a house in a year or so but we are fine the way we are. we have probably been together so long BECAUSE we don't live together.

these people also freak out that we have been together so long and aren't married. they just can't understand. but there is nothing for THEM to understand. it is our life and our decisions.

i think some married w/children people just can't stand unmarried couples with "no responsibilities". they want everyone to be miserable like they are.

[hfojvt]

68. well there is never enough love and understanding

I think people everywhere need to learn how to live together. I wish you were not so judgemental about us good-hearted busybodies, but that's your decision.

[Sannum]

24. You should have said "Oh shove it you old hag".

At least I am getting some that doesn't require batteries...:evilgrin:

[nytemare]

30. Well, if she has a kid you should tell her she should have tried

it too, or maybe a rubber. 30 cents could have saved about 10 years of wrinkles and bad perm.

[RevCheesehead]

31. Nah, you have to speak to her in her own language:

"Is that something Jesus would ask? What happened to judge not, lest ye yourself be judged?" If you throw in the reference to the Bible, it will really set her off - and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you are right. :evilgrin:

[Robeson]

32. You could tell her its none of her fucking business.

[Withywindle]

35. Or you could say...

"Tried it once. I got knocked up right away. Damn immaculate conceptions!"

[LastKnight]

36. i think somone needs to get laid.

just sayin... sometimes it makes people like that crabby. recommend it to her next time you see her.

[Wetzelbill]

64. haha

So that's my problem. No wonder I'm an asshole.

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

37. I tried abstinence for 21 years

but that was more forced on me by constant rejection from females.

[Wetzelbill]

65. oh man.....that's all I can think of to say

:rofl:

[sundog]

38. 'you should try fucking yourself'

my natural response :7

[khashka]

45. You forget the last half of the sentence sundoggie

You should try fucking yourself because sure as hell no one else is gonna do it.

A little better? Or too verbose?

Khash.

[Deja Q]

39. Tell the coworker to go enlist itself.

[BeTheChange]

40. I dont have any comments on this person.. but I do about Depo..

I was on depo for 4 years and it literally turned into a nightmare for me...

http://www.abcinternetmarketing.com/depo-provera/

I strongly urge you to read that site and the thousands of stories that are posted on it.

[Lilith Velkor]

41. "i could try my foot up your ass."

[gmoney]

42. "Sorry, but this is heroin..."

"I would never take something as sinful as birth control medication."

[bliss_eternal]

63. OMG--LMAO!

:rofl:

That's the PERFECT response!

[RummyTheDummy]

46. Oh how I love Depo

And they say a dog is man's best friend. :evilgrin:

[xmas74]

47. I was given Depo at one time

I had breakthrough bleeding each month for nearly a year. My ob/gyn gave me Depo for it.
It saved me some money on my clothes budget (I'll be honest).
How does she really know what it is used for? I hate that crap coming out of their mouths. It's the same crap like when they protest abortion clinics. Some of those same clinics are considered to have some of the best reproductive disease treatments in the area. Plus, they do OB care for pregnant women (w/o it being about an abortion). (sorry-I know I'm rambling but I tie the two together sometimes).
Maybe they need to get a little bit more info before they make a judgment call.

[RummyTheDummy]

48. Asking questions, research just isn't their bag

You're talking about people who have sex with their husbands through a bed sheet with a hole cut in it. They do it to procreate only, or to get the hubby's rocks off on HIS terms. But I agree with what you're saying.

[xmas74]

49. Thank you.

They really don't give a shit about what the real situation is. They only care about what they have been told to think.
They have no idea that most situations are not black and white. I hate that kind of purposeful misinformation.

[youthere]

51. "Wifely duty"..

doncha' know.

[bliss_eternal]

62. Your argument wasn't lost on me. I used to use abortion clinics

for my gyn care (pap exams, etc.)during summer breaks in college, when I couldn't access health services.

I can't tell you all the times I was approached by some 'pro-life' group that just ASSUMED I was there to terminate a pregnancy. A few times I even said to them, "do you know that not everyone that comes here is taking a pregnancy test?" They just seemed confused...

:eyes:

[xmas74]

73. I know!

They also assume the same thing about Planned Parenthood in my area, even though the nearest PP that does abortions is over an hour away! The rest of them around here are just for exams, protection and basic health services (for women and men both). Yet you still see the same idiots attempting to protest the clinics time and time again w/ their pro-life signs, even though that clinic does not perform abortions.
I have stopped them and explained that they didn't do them at that clinic. Every single time I get a look of confusion and the explanation that all PP's do them.
I gave up after awhile. Let them look stupid.

[bliss_eternal]

75. LOL! That's so pathetic. Obviously no research was done.

It's cracking me up that this mentality crosses state lines...

Geez!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

52. I'd report her for creating a hostile work environment

[purr]

53. I was thinking the same thing...

HOW DARE SHE. I would've ripped her a new one. So according to her, I'm having my 3rd child and now hes going to get the big V I should ABSTAIN from enjoying something we both like?

Will she help raise my kids? Pay for college? Food? Pay my mortgage so I can have a roof over our heads? None of your business.

My in-laws probably would ask me the same thing and they'd get the same response. Then with a 'mind your own business' at the end.

[noamnety]

72. Ditto on that

Actually, I would go a step further - instead of a "hostile work environment" I'd report her for sexual harrassment. It's way out of line for her to assume it's okay to talk to you about your sex life.

And it would be poetic justice for her to have a sexual harrassment complaint in her files.

[Nikia]

54. I don't know why someone would say that to a mature adult

Especially, someone who they didn't know well or talk to normally anyway. I would say that it was a rude, hateful comment, just like if you commented negatively on her hair.
I admit though that I almost once said that to my 15 year old coworker when I worked at a fast food restaurant, but that was a different situation because she often talked with me about things, including her sex life and she was only 15.

[Wetzelbill]

55. yeah, any NORMAL person wouldn't be so pushy to say that

to an adult. But, not a self-righteous fundie.......

[elehhhhna]

56. I'd say "You could try masturbation"

[Rabrrrrrr]

57. 'You could try not being an invasive Christian rightwing activist bitch"

[bliss_eternal]

59. Dildo out of batteries, honey?

Puh-lease, what a tragic, RW stereotype she is! She probably belongs to one of those sex clubs where she lets men pee on her on the weekends.

:eyes:

[baby_mouse]

60. "You could try catching your face in a lathe"

"Cheaper than a facelift, darling..."

Who DO these people think they are?

[BiggJawn]

66. So how long did it take to remove your BOOT from her ASS?

"You know, you COULD try minding your own fucking business. I KNOW you 'I'm not PERFECT, just FORGIVEN' Dominionists think that when you got on a first-name basis with ol' Jay-Dawg that you also got a license to stick your fucking nose in where it don't belong, but I'm telling you now and later, Bee-Yoch, it aint valid HERE! Now PISS OFF! before I stick my size 8 (or whatever size) up where YOU ain't had a man in so long you can't remember..."

[libodem]

67. oh, 'F' her

that ticks me off...I've been on hormone replacement for years, yeah, she should mind her own business. Why do people feel they need to comment on anyones sex-life? Do you think it's still some hold over from the Victorian age or the Puritans, where any kind of pleasure is self indulgent and just plain wrong...especially for women? Sure the guys can have Viagra by the hands full...but for women to have recreational sex...uhg....smug-assed prudes

[ist rad]

69. what an appallingly rude and utterly innappropriate thing to say

What is it right wingers have against plain old-fashioned good manners?

[WCGreen]

70. Stop it you'll go blind....

That's what abstinence breeds. blindness, sheer madness, hairy palms and, I hear this happens in Russia, a taste for Vodka and Cherry juice....

[Gormy Cuss]

71. You know, she deserved no reply other than a cold glare.

My evil twin also suggests that the proper response might be:

"Abstinence? I've never been abstinent and I'm not about to start now. I have a PERFECT attendance record!"

Confusing the confused can be fun.

[gkhouston]

74. oh, jeez

just the same kind of nosey people who tend to ask why I only have one child... or who used to ask a friend of my why she had none, back when she was married. Her husband once responded, "the state took them".

[NMMNG]

76. I love those people who offer unsolicited advice

I had a total stranger tell me "Sweet and Low works" because she thought I shouldn't be using sugar in my coffee because I wasn't anorexic like her. I just gave her an icy stare and went on my way.


Tell Ms. Reich Wing to focus on her own damn family, you can manage your genitals just fine. Perhaps if she was getting some at home she wouldn't have to worry so much about what everybody else was doing!

[SarahB]

77. Abstinence is overrated.

I think lack of regular sex messes with people's brains. :crazy:

Hello! It's normal. :think: