Wow. I just saw "The Fantastic Four". Wow.

[Pale Blue Dot]

It really sucked. It sucked in ways I could never imagine a film sucking before. It sucked right from the beginning, and only increased in suckiness by the end. The acting sucked, the story sucked, and the action sucked. Then, just when I thought it couldn't possibly suck any worse, it sucked into its bag of sucks and pulled out suckitude of such magnitude that all previous sucking seemed to pale in sucky comparison.

My son liked it. He's only 10, though, and he likes everything.

To sum up: The Fantastic Four sucks.

:puke:

[skygazer]

1. I'd heard it sucked

So you're telling me it sucked? You're a little vague on that point...

[Pale Blue Dot]

5. To be clear:

It sucked with a suckiness that would make Hoover sucking jealous.

[okieinpain]

2. thanks, have you seen wotw, yet I liked it but I'm interested in other

adults opinions.

[Pale Blue Dot]

7. Saw it, was slightly disappointed.

I did not think it sucked (although The Fantastic Four sucked), but the original is one of my favorites, and I thought Speilberg's film, with all of the great special effects, was not as scary. Three stars. The Fantastic Four: four sucks.

[youspeakmylanguage]

51. Here's an adult opinion...

Worst. Movie. EVER!

[Dudley_DUright]

3. So I take it from your comments that you thought

it sucked? :-)

[DS1]

4. Jessica Alba sucks.

She's pretty, yes, but sucks. In fact, all of the actors in it suck.

I think CGI is getting close to killing off Sci-Fi. Except War of the Worlds, the CGI in that wasn't over-the-top like it is with action movies these days, like Motorcycles jumping off the sides of bridges and landing on the top of passenger trains like that Torqued movie.

I'm glad it sucked. I hope it bombs like nothing has bombed ever before.

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. ...And she looked sucky as a blond.

I agree on CGI. I didn't even like the CGI in War of the Worlds.

[Mojambo]

8. I knew it!

Fantastic Four is just too campy a comic book concept to play straight in a feature film.

I'll still see it to confirm my diagnosis, but I knew it!

[dhinojosa]

9. Would you say its like Gigli in tights? nt

[flamingyouth]

10. You know, it just looked like it would suck.

And I admit, I was excited about it when I first heard they were making it. Then I saw the ads and trailers and became less and less excited. At least Kevin liked it, though. Maybe they're aiming at that all-powerful 10-year-old market. :7

[Pale Blue Dot]

11. Well, they hit that market.

Of course, he liked Rebound last week, and I spent my time counting the number of times I saw the boom mike (4).

However, the good news is that he saw "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" earlier this week, and now he wants to watch it again tonight. :thumbsup:

[the_spectator]

12. You know what gets me?

I'm of an age that I was a kid when "Fantastic Four" was just another low-budget cartoon on TV I would sit through but was under-enthused about.

So when all the press starts up about this movie, I was like, "Oh yeah. "The Fantastic Four." I remember that. There was some guy made out of reddish rocks, right? Forgot about that."

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH OUR CULTURE that we spend millions to make wannabe-"blockbuster" movies about every random piece of DECADES-OLD TV FILLER!?!?!

Why are we so brain-dead creatively these days? We may be heading into one of the lowest points culturally ever. Nothing ever changes. Nothing's ever new. For example, while I'm on this rant (and please forgive me, sixties people -- I actually LOVE the sixties for certain things, but:)

I was in my cozy local neighborhood bar recently. This night, the band was a new bunch of fresh-faced kids. Turned out it was their first gig. Obviously a little rough, a little tentative. But everyone's got to start somewhere. They had a large support-group there for them, which was cool - friends, parents, parents-of-friends, friends-of-parents.

And of course, the late-50, almost 60something older generation was having a ball, grooving to what this band was covering, which was, of course, the music of the late-60s, early-70s - standard barroom stuff we've all heard millions of times. And the oldsters' smiles had a sense of awareness about them, about how weird this really was: that when their kids start their own bands, what do they play, but the music of their PARENTS' youth from, at this point, THIRTY TO FORTY YEARS AGO!!!

This is as though:
-- kids in the '70s all went around in zoot-suits, and loved Frank Sinatra, instead of doing disco.

-- kids in the '50s were all about "Music Hall" (You know, "Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do" "Over There") instead of starting rock-and-roll

-- kids in the '20s were all Oscar Wilde fans, and went around in big droopy aesthetic movement ribbons as neckwear, instead of being flappers and dancing the Charleston.

As "fast-paced" as we are in 2005, as much as things seem to change faster than ever, in SO many ways, things have NEVER MOVED SO SLOWLY!

Culture is slowly drifting to an eventual stop because the engine isn't working anymore.

Am I making any sense with this?

:shrug:

[tigereye]

42. that's a very good and funny analysis

although I seem to recall a lot of my punk buddies in the late 70s with ducktails and leather jackets doing the rockabilly thing.

I for one could stand to never hear AOR from the 70s again, but it never seems to go away. :scared:

[the_spectator]

43. Thanks and hi!

:hi: And keep in mind, those punks from the 70s you referenced were only falling back on stuff 2 decades / 20 years old, right?

[tigereye]

46. true

the best musicians reference all decades, though, right? :hi:

[zanne]

50. I know what you mean.

I grew up in the 60's, early 70's. Personally, I love the music from that time but I think it's depressing that so many kids actually know the lyrics to so many of the songs I listened to when I was 16! I think there's a huge lack of imagination out there now; and least we don't get to hear or see anything with much imagination. I think people are sticking to things that they KNOW will make money. In other words, why take a chance on a new author or musician with alot of imagination when you can take an old, proven standard and make a bundle?

[DinahMoeHum]

13. The view from Rotten Tomatoes. . .LOL !!!

Link:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/fantastic_four/

(snip)
"Who are these half-wit Hollywood clowns that keep hiring cleavage-candy actresses with no measurable talent to play laughably bespectacled scientists in action movies?"


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Pity about Jessica Alba, though. She starred in a SciFi series called "Dark Angel" a few years back, and I thought it was great.

:evilfrown:

[LeftCoast]

22. Dark Angel rocked

Too bad 911 happened and DA no longer looked like a fantasy story...

[Democracy White]

40. I loved that show

though the second season sucked. I would have played out the big government-running away from Manticore-childhood flashback thing. I just loved that about the first season because of the entire mysteriousness of it. The second season came and blew all of that away.

Dee

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

14. $20 million on Friday

I have yet to be particularly intrigued by any trailer or preview and was really turned off when I read about what they were doing with Dr. Doom and the actor they chose to play him after watching the first season of the way to overly hyped show "Nip/Tuck."

Where does this rank for comic book movies?

[Mojambo]

15. Can't be worse than Daredevil. It just can't! n/t

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

16. I liked Daredevil

and felt the Director's Cut on DVD improved the theatrical cut. My enjoyment of the movie has decreased since first seeing and I feel a lot of what I like about it has to do with my overall DD obsession and that wonderfully beautiful actress who played Elektra. Although Elektra, the movie, was far worse than DD.

[Mojambo]

17. I felt SO detached watching DD

I didn't care about ANY of those characters at all.

It just didn't work for me.

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

18. Understandable

My first thought coming out of Batman Begins was, "boy, I wish Christopher Nolan would direct a Daredevil movie." He's my favorite comic book character and there is so much to do with him. The first disappointment came with the hiring of an incredibly unqualified director, as compared to what Spiderman and the X-Men got with Raimi and Singer.

[Mojambo]

20. Too true

The Daredevil mythos seems particularly adaptable to the big screen, but they did not have a good director, and even if they had, that story really went nowhere.

Marvel had been pretty good about caring for their heroes as they hit the big screen, but they really showed no love for DD.

[LeftyDarthBrodie]

21. Very true

The Punisher, Elektra and now apparently the FF have recieved no respect. X3 is also turning to sh*t with Brett Ratner coming on to direct.

[gmoney]

19. I missed "The Fantastic" 1, 2 & 3

so I'll probably skip Fantastic 4

[Pale Blue Dot]

23. Booooooooooooooooo!

Actually, that joke was better than anything in "The Fantastic Four".

And you're right, I really shouldn't complain about anything anymore. :woohoo:

[seemunkee]

24. Sin City so far is the best comic adapation.

[WCGreen]

26. That was simply an awesome movie.....

I loved everything about it.......

ANd I still buy comic books at the tender age of 47....

Batmnan was great as well....

DD sucked,

X1, X2 Rocked.....

And I am now trepidations about FF

[seemunkee]

28. me too

except Im 48

[GOPisEvil]

25. So, you're saying it sucked?

:shrug:

[El Fuego]

27. That is the Best. Film.Review.Ever.

[IntravenousDemilo]

29. I want someone to make a movie of "The Inferior Five" nm

[Pale Blue Dot]

30. They did.

It was called Fahrenheit 9/11.

[IntravenousDemilo]

31. Bwahaahaahaaahaaaaa...

Good one. With Bush as White Feather, of course.

[Borgnine]

32. Batman Begins blows Fantastic Four away.

Fantastic Four styled itself as a cheeky, dumb comic book movie. Unfortunately for it, it had to follow Batman Begins, what might be the most serious adapatation of a comic book superhero to film ever (and a damn fine movie in its own right).

After Batman, movies like Fantastic Four seem hollow. Unfortunately, I bet it will make more money.

[VelmaD]

33. OK...I saw it today with my 6 year old nephew...

It wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen in the theater...I've seen Highlander 2. But lord knows it had plot holes you could drive a truck through and some truly strange editing choices and jarring cuts.

But my nephew liked it.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

34. Finnfan, I love you.

I needed that this late at night. I'm very amused, laughing...but I'm also watching Chris Rock on HBO....So you had a warm up. But I loved you before. You rock! HIL...AR...IOUS!
Duckie

[Pale Blue Dot]

35. Well, thank you.

I'm very flattered, but I'm spoken for. :evilgrin:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

36. I'm not IN love with you, FinnFan...

I'm spoken for too...I just love ya. :evilgrin: I can love you without LOVING you...you see the difference?
Duckie

[freethought]

37. Saw it opening day. My review

My review of "Fantastic Four" .
Movie's purpose: Get people to lay out cash for bad movies and get as many shots of Jessica Alba in a tight body hugging suit as possible.

Plot: Plot?

Also: Use CGI effects as a substitute for good stories or scripts and insult Stan Lee comic book creations.

I tend to disagree with some of the posters here. CGI can be a great compliment to a good film depending on how it is used. I thought Peter Jackson did a phenominal job of using CGI with the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy

[Chicago Democrat]

38. I never saw so many whorish product placements...

Lame superheros. Stupid story...

[TroubleMan]

39. It wasn't that bad ..... I liked it

Hell, the audience clapped at the end.

I don't think it was good enough for clapping at the end, but it definitely wasn't as bad as you portray it to be.

It's decent, one that I'd rent instead of going to see it (but my 6 year old son really wanted to see it and he loved it).

[proud patriot]

41. So how was the popcorn ?

My son is 9 and will love it also x(

[giant_robot]

44. Do your son a favor...

...tell him to cherish his memory of this movie as a ten year-old child and to never, ever see it again. I remember thirty-some years ago, my dad took my to a drive-in to see Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon". At the time, I was convinced this was the greatest cinematic event ever achieved by mankind. My dad, being a good dad, simply sat through the suckfest for my benefit. Years later, as a twenty-something, I was psyched to see that "Enter the Dragon" was going to be on cable TV. I eagerly awaited with my beer and munchies, and then I was crushed to realize that the movie I had awesome memories of was a truly sucky movie that was suck-worthy on so many levels that it created a vortex of suck that sucked all of the goodness out of all of the non-sucky things around it.

Please, please don't put your kid through that!

[DS1]

48. You lost your way

Next time watch Enter the Dragon with... Feeeeeeling :D

Or, rent Kentucky Fried Movie, and watch the best send-up of ETD ever recorded.

[giant_robot]

53. I LOOOOVE the send up of ETD in Kentucky Fried Movie!

Robert Townsend is a fucking genius.

[RoyGBiv]

45. The Fantastic Farce ...

I was walking down the street the other day, and I heard someone walking behind me refer to the movie as "The Fantastic Farce." I literally doubled-over with laughter right there on the sidewalk.

[zanne]

47. Now let me get this straight.

You didn't like it?

[Deep13]

49. Was it as bad as Matrix 3?

[Deep13]

52. I liked Ebert's sarcastic review in the Chicago Sun Times.

Gave similar remarks on Ebert & Roeper.