If I wasn't writing or teaching, I'd be a hell of a thief

[WilliamPitt]

Telling stories tonight, and I realized that in the last ten years, I have sucessfully broken into the apartments of each and every single one of my good friends. Hang on, I did so when they were locked out, or had lost their keys. I'm a good citizen. Really.

But I started swapping tales with a friend tonight, and remembered:

* The San Francisco apartment where I had to scale seven fences through seven back yards to get to the back of the target apartment building, scale a ten-foot-high porch, and then slip the lock on a sliding glass door;

* The Worcester apartment where I had to climb up the face of a six story building, porch by porch, to get to the sixth floor porch and slip the glass door lock (again) to get in;

* The San Francisco apartment where I had to climb to the roof, scale down the fire escape, evade the dog, get up the other fire escape before pouring myself through a tiny window.

All my friends were grateful...and a little creeped. Listening to myself recall these stories tonight, I can understand why.

[punpirate]

1. You've wasted your talents...

... you should have been breaking into government buildings getting documents. :P

[Moochy]

2. Break-ins?

Hey maybe you can get some work with Rove? He likes to break into places? :rofl:

[Dead_Parrot]

3. But Will, you'd never get away with it...

...You'd have to tell everybody on the 'net within 2 hours of making your get-away....

:D

[SoCalDem]

4. Getting INTO places is not the tricky part..

Getting out, while juggling the LOOT is the hard part :evilgrin:

[rawtribe]

5. Skills every

journalist should possess.

:woohoo:

[benburch]

6. Seems to me those skills mght be useful to a reporter too...

:evilgrin:

[eridani]

7. You and Richard Feynman would have made a great pair

When you let him in the front door, he could have done the safes.

[glarius]

8. Are you sure you're not Spiderman?

:)

[VOX]

9. Time for another look at Hitchcock's "It Takes a Thief"...

If for nothing else to gaze at Grace Kelly. :bounce:

Careful on those rooftops, Will. :thumbsup:

[GalleryGod]

10. Great Tales, Will.

They are wonderful relief from an otherwise sad weekend

"Hand out the guns & ammo..we're gonna blast our way through here...
We've got to get together sooner or later..because the Revol-ut-ion's HERE!"
Thunderclap Newman, 1969:hippie:

[In_The_Wind]

11. funny memories are great to share

thank you

[jmm]

12. I use to think I was good

Of course I'm usually the person trying to find someone like you to break into stuff. At my last job I got a AAA man to come an open a and try to fix a broken transmission (it had completely come out when I tried to put the key in) despite the fact I didn't have a AAA card or show him my ID.

[Patiod]

13. Me too!

Indicative more of forgetfulness/frequency of key loss then burgling talents, I'm afraid.

I've broken into my own apartments too many times to mention, and into my parents' house more than once, always with minimal damage to glass/screen, etc.

I've tried to use the ease with which I got into my parents' house as a lesson as to why elderly people in rich neighborhoods might want to invest in better security, but to no avail thus far.

Also, I used to be a pretty fair hand with a coathanger and car lock back in the day (before cars had automatic door locks).

No rooftop escapades, however....

[JimmyJazz]

14. So I shouldn't tell people about the time you got locked out of

your own apartment and stood outside screaming like a banshee? :shrug:


this is me, running away ----------------->

[yvr girl]

17. *snort*

"What is that buzzing sound?"

Do we know how Will got back into his apartment? Perhaps he scaled the building or something.

[JimmyJazz]

20. Oh LOOK! Here he is now!

<-------use your imagination! It really is spiderman :D

[yvr girl]

22. Do you think Will has a Spidey-Suit?

Maybe PJs - I just bet he has superhero PJs.

[JimmyJazz]

23. either PJs or underoos!

[yvr girl]

24. Probably both

You can never get too much of a good thing. He might even have Spidey-sheets.

[supernova]

15. Thomas Crown, is that you?

Heh. If you're going for a life of crime, it might as well be something useful.

[ghostsofgiants]

16. You're Batman!

[underpants]

18. My stepfather never could secure the house against me

I was his quality control tester. He never could keep me out.

[Blue-Jay]

19. I broke into every building at my college.

Never stole or damaged anything. I just did it for kicks. You learn a lot about that kind of thing when your family is filled with cops.

[madinmaryland]

21. At least they were not third-rate burgleries!

:evilgrin:

Though I hear that G. Gordon Liddy is looking for some help of your caliber!!