And in other news, I got invited to a baby shower...

[eyesroll]

My BF (Jason), his daughter and I got invited to a baby shower for his stepsister. It's happening at his dad's house, during the weekend we're going to be visiting, so of course we'll attend. (I probably wouldn't go if it was a women-only shower, as I have never met any of these people and I am neither family nor married into it, but it is a coed shower so we'll go).

But, the envelope came addressed to:

Jason, Stacie and Daughter Hislastname.

He's as puzzled as I am, seeing as how he's still technically married on paper, and it isn't to me, and this side of the family isn't the type to drop passive-aggressive hints or anything. (i.e. I'm positive his stepmom would at the very worst just put "Jason and Daughter Lastname and Stacie" on the invitation if she didn't know my last name and didn't have time to find out.)

I suppose it's possible that the friend-of-the-stepsister who addressed the invitations just misheard or made a grand assumption...but, still...

:scared: :D

[Zuni]

1. nope

assume the worst. They are leaning on you...hard. :o

[asthmaticeog]

2. When are you going to stop tearing their hearts out with your sin?

[Deep13]

3. a co-ed baby shower?

Don't feel you must go. If you're only real connection with these folks is through your boyfriend, then they are overreaching by inviting you, especially since you are not related. Baby showers are a weird sort of invitation. They are really a request for people to bring them stuff. I find that very tacky. The tradition is for the expecting mother to invite her woman friends and family. That is gauche enough, but there is no real justification for expanding it to men and their girlfriends/wives. What makes it even more bizarre is the failure to realize that men could not possibly be less interested in that sort of thing. Many women seem to think that men are essentially women in a different sort of body. Not true, we do not give a shit about baby-related social conventions and that fact makes a shower invitation all the more greedy in appearance.

[eyesroll]

4. Why is it an overreach to have a coed baby shower?

Are women the only people who raise babies and thus the only people who could possibly be interested in baby stuff?

So Jason shouldn't get invited but his (hypothetical) sister should?

He got invited; he would have gotten invited if I didn't exist (in fact, the invitation probably got extended to me because his stepmother knew I'd be down there that weekend; otherwise, it would just be him and his daughter); we're going to bring a joint gift, it's not costing me anything on my own.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

5. No,

the tradition is NOT for the pregnant woman to invite her women friends & family. You're right to say showers (both bridal & baby) are a request for gifts. You "shower" them with gifts. However, it is extremely tacky for the mom-to-be or any of her close relatives to host the party. It is to be given by a close friend or distant relative.

I'm willing to bet many men give a shit about baby related social conventions & would attend. I'm also pretty sure many women would enjoy a coed shower, too.

[eyesroll]

7. Exactly.

A group of friends is hosting the shower; the stepmother provided the friend with some suggested guests.

[Deep13]

11. "It is to be given by a close friend or distant relative."

So it's done in someone else's name. Same result.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

15. If you're ever invited, just don't go.

There's no obligation to go to every event you're invited to & a shower is the only one where the invitee is expected to bring a gift. It's perfectly acceptable (in most cases) to politely decline. It's polite if the invitee politely declines without sharing their views on the event, however.

best

[Deep13]

12. "...many men give a shit about baby related ..."

I'll have to take your word for it because I sure don't know any.

[sundog]

6. they're locking you in

:P

[eyesroll]

8. They've never even met me!

(That's part of why we're heading down there in the first place.)

[liontamer]

9. they probably didn't even think of the grammatical implications

to them they were going person1(brother/he knows I mean him),person2(brothers gf, don't really know her, but I know her first name),person3(daughter, make her feel more grown up/isn't this a formal invite?)

[eyesroll]

14. Possibly.

I hope.

Dear lord, I hope.

[XNASA]

10. You'd be silly to change your last name to "Hislastname".

I'm just sayin'. But, do what you want.

[Ready4Change]

13. Why don't they hold "adult" or "coming of age" showers?

Those'd be much more interesting, I think. ;)

Hope the wording of the invite was an oversight, rather than a "message."

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

16. I would probably just go with the assumption

that the friend made a mistake. I hate addressing invites. Don't ask me why, it's hardly in the same catagory as a root canal.

When my SON married, DIL had friends help her send out invitations. They got our address wrong. :)