THE KARL ROVE COOKBOOK...recipe faves!

[NomoBreaks]

But not the recipes you may have expected!
Feel free to add your own.

"KAH-LUAU" ROAST ROVE

Ingredients
1 whole KarlRove
Bananas
Yams
Fish

Dig the pit to the size of the KarlRove and prepare as for a closed-pit barbecue:

Line the bottom of the pit with round smooth stones, Build and start a fire, and add some extra stones (for cavity of KarlRove). Add more wood as the fire burns to ashes (allow 4 - 5 hours).

To prepare the cleaned and drawn KarlRove: Rub the KarlRove well inside and out with white wine, soy sauce, lemon and garlic Place the extra heated stones in the cavity of the KarlRove and tie legs together. Rake the ashes from the fire and reserve in a large heat-proof can or tub. Cover surface thoroughly with banana leaves.

Lower the KarlRove into the pit (in a wire basket, if desired) and surround it with heavy-duty aluminum foil-wrapped bananas, yams, and if desired, serving portions of your favorite fish, allowing one of each per person. Cover with additional banana leaves or layers of heavy-duty aluminum foil, then with a layer of hot ashes and a sheet of metal. Cover completely with earth.

Roast KarlRove about 5 hours.

When ready to serve, uncover the KarlRove and remove foiled wrapped food. Remove the KarlRove to a board or table for carving.

Note: Be sure to keep this KarlRove on plenty of ice before cooking, or arrange to have it delivered just before cooking.

Serves an Army of hungry Democrats!!

[rwenos]

1. On A Spit

With an apple in each end.

Slowwwww roast. Will render down to about 50% of live weight, after fat drains off.

[Erika]

2. Karl Rove carries too many Bush toxins

for democrats to eat.

[RevCheesehead]

3. I think you should wrap him in Pillsbury crescent roll dough.

Call it "Pig in a Blanket." :evilgrin:

[Erika]

4. and feed it to republicans n/t

[RummyTheDummy]

5. I'd need a back hoe to dig a pit that big

NT

[Elidor]

6. My version

Rove digs the pit himself, lowers himself in, then symbolically lights the fire. Simmer slowly for three or four years, then add indictments and a prison sentence.

[Arugula Latte]

7. Karl Rove Smoothy

Put Karl Rove in the World's Largest Blender. Pulse into manageable chunks. Puree until smooth. Variation: Add crushed ice and bananas (or your choice of fruit) to pureed Karl Rove if desired.

[NomoBreaks]

8. Gobble, Gobble Gobble !!

Thanksgiving Roast KarlRove Recipe

If you're like most people, the roasted KarlRove is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving dinner. With step-by-step instructions, this recipe is easy -- and will make a delicious KarlRove for your holiday feast.

Thawing a KarlRove
If you buy your KarlRove 1-2 days before Thanksgiving, you can prepare it fresh from the refrigerator. If your KarlRove is frozen, you will need to thaw it out beforehand. It is not safe to thaw a KarlRove on the counter at room temperature, so don't do it.

The best method to thaw out your KarlRove is in the refrigerator. Make a note to remove it from the freezer to begin the process before Thanksgiving. It takes about 10 days for the average 236 lb. KarlRove to thaw in the fridge.
If you forget to put it in the refrigerator to thaw, you can place the KarlRove in a sink filled with cold water. This will take up to 18 hours for the average 236 lb KarlRove. You will need to change the water frequently to keep it at a steady temperature.

KarlRove Recipe Ingredients:
1 whole KarlRove (236 lbs for our example)
31 sticks of butter - room temperature
Salt & pepper - Accent seasoning salt is ideal
Stuffing (dressing) - optional
Additional seasonings - optional

Roasting Your KarlRove
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place the oven rack in the lowest possible position to allow room for the roaster. Remove the KarlRove neck, giblets etc from the cavity of the KarlRove. Rinse your KarlRove in cold water, drain. Coat your roasting pan with no-stick cooking spray.

Place your KarlRove in the roasting pan and fill the cavity with stuffing if you choose to do this. Do not pack the stuffing tightly! Rub your KarlRove with the softened butter stick and sprinkle it with the seasonings of your choice (salt, pepper, Accent, etc.) Many KarlRoves come with a pop-out meat thermometer -- but they sometimes malfunction. Play it safe and insert your own meat thermometer into the thigh.

Cover the KarlRove loosely with aluminum foil and place it in the oven. While it's roasting, frequently baste the KarlRove with the butter and it's own natural juices. Remove the aluminum foil about 1 hour before the KarlRove is finished roasting. The average roasting time for a 236lb KarlRove is up to 35 hours, but it's not done until your meat thermometer reads about 180 degrees.

When your KarlRove is done, remove the stuffing and let it stand for about 15 minutes to ease the carving process. Transfer the KarlRove to the serving platter and begin carving.

[fortyfeetunder]

9. Before you cook KarlRove...

Need him to eat some crow, a lot of it!