I have a weird situation. Need some advice.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

This weekend, I am heading to NYC to stay at my friend G's house while she's away in the Hamptons. My friend G came with me to my best friend E's house on the Cape last month for the weekend. She has met E before when she visits me in Boston.

E and I are going to visit G in the Hamptons this week and then going to use her apartment in the city. The problem is, E invited her boyfriend to NYC without clearing it with G. G lives in a one-bedroom with only a queen bed, and she just moved in so she doesn't have any other furniture yet.

When E invited her boyfriend, I stammered and said that there really wasn't any room, but she said we can bring a camping mattress. I thought in the back of my head that it was kind of presumptious of E to bring her boyfriend W, even though he owns part of the house where G stayed at the Cape.

G was kind of put out that E invited her boyfriend W. Now, E is known to have different boundaries than other people (read: none). I just left a message on E's voicemail that W may be un-invited to NYC. Kind of. I have a hard time confronting her about this. I know those of you who know me will find this funny.

Do you think G is correct? I agree with her that E was rude not to ask.

Thanks!

[JimmyJazz]

1. C. The answer is always C.

:o

Actually, E was rude to invite someone else without asking. W should stay home.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

4. Thanks!

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. X=Y+Zxprime....

But seriously, E was very rude, and presumptuous not to ask. Plus, it also appears, to me, that they will expect "odd man out" to use the camping mattress, which I also find to be rude. That said, I would maybe gently put it that perhaps next time she should ask. :hi:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

3. Thank you.

I love E, but sometimes she has no sense of boundaries. It can be embarrassing. :blush:

[Richardo]

6. Funny tho, how it's never embarrassing to those without boundaries, innit?

Only those of us with some sense of decorum.

She's in the wrong here, Kath. :thumbsup:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

10. Thanks

:-)

[no name no slogan]

5. You are correct, she should have asked

It was rude of E not to ask first-- and very presumptive, too.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

7. Thanks. I was uneasy about it!

:hi:

the shit will hit the fan this afternoon. I don't know why I can't confront her on this. I'm normally pretty straightforward. :blush:

[soleft]

8. I think the fact you named him "W" is quite telling

Clearly you don't want him along.

Unless of course W is his initial, in which case, it was still rude not to ask and I encourage you to risk that confrontation.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

9. No, I LOVE E's boyfriend W. They've been together for 14 years.

it's just weird that she'd invite him.

[soleft]

13. so they're like an old married couple

question - just cause I'm wondering -

If G had a two BR appt with lots of room, and E invited W without asking, would you feel the same?

[Kathy in Cambridge]

14. Probably-I think she should have asked G regardless

if she lived in Trump Tower or an 800 sq foot apt.

[soleft]

20. ITA

[Misunderestimator]

11. Can you rewrite that using A and B or X and Y... I get confused...

Just kidding!! :D E was rude... boyfriend shouldn't come.

[skygazer]

12. I go along with the general concensus

E was in the wrong. W needs to be uninvited. G has a right to be put out. (this kind of reminds me of high school algebra!)

[sniffa]

15. it depends

is E or W bringing good stuff? :o

[hyphenate]

16. I think it was presumptuous

for her to assume that bringing W was a given. I think the best solution is to tell E that it's a time for female friends to get together, without the guys, and try to feed it to her that way. Many are the times when someone has brought a companion in that way with them, and it ends up leaving many of the people divided and feeling like a third, fourth or fifth wheel. She might understand it better if it were pitched in that fashion.

[SOteric]

17. I think G was entirely appropriate.

I would rather politely and sweetly (but firmly) tell G that the original invitation was never intended to extend to W. If she felt that he absolutely ~had~ to come along, perhaps they'd be more comfortable in a local hotel.

[Donkeyboy75]

18. Yes. It was rude of EarlG to invite William Pitt

without asking GreenPartyVoter. I think GreenPartyVoter is correct.

[progmom]

19. oh yeah - that was totally uncool.

Just curious - are E and W a relatively new couple?

[Kathy in Cambridge]

22. 14 years together

[Shell Beau]

21. She definitely should have asked. Now it puts

you in a weird situation.